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Inderpaul

Inderpaul Singh  |62 Answers  |Ask -

Leadership Coach - Answered on May 26, 2025

Major Inderpaul Singh (retired) served in the Indian Army for eight years.
In the year 2008, he moved to the corporate sector and worked with Century Plyboards for 14 years, specialising in people management and organisation improvement interventions.
He is currently employed as a partner with Amishrit Terrene Pvt Ltd, an IT solutions start-up located in Mohali, Punjab.
A certified life coach, he also helps students and individuals handle challenges in their personal and professional lives.
He holds a commerce degree from DAV College, Amritsar, and a post-graduate diploma in business administration from Symbiosis, Pune. ... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 21, 2025
Career

I am in govt job and since transfer is not there because of change in recruitment rules after joining my job, I got stuck in tier 2 south indian state. I am married and we both are in the same job, however, it's very difficult for me to adjust here because of language problem and absence of female friends since there is less no of girls who take transfer on deputation basis because of influence of minister/ board etc. I find myself alone and life after marriage also has been tough till now ie 3 years full of issues, I am almost 35 now, no baby till now, also diagnosed with fibroids , I am having my ayurvedic treatment. With fibroids, pregnancy is risky, also there is no one to support and come there, when I talk to my husband, he says we'll hire some person that time. Also, if I don't want to stay there, I should prepare for Pcs exam,he also prepare for the same, what should I do as it doesn't seem any way out. Please advice as I can't leave my job without getting another one of same level or higher. I am working in my present job for 8 years and it's of pay level 8. What option are there for me at this age, please guide.

Ans: Hello
One good part is that your husband and you are together since at times even that is not there in govt jobs where people are posted in separate locations.
As I understand that you are desperate to move to a place of your choice. You may look at private job options. Even some downgrade to begin with and then look for suitable options once you are settled in new location.
But then you need to be prepared to stay independent of your husband if he has a job location constraint too.
Hence take an informed decision as to what your utmost priority is at the moment i.e. career vs family.
All the best !
Career

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Hi Anu, I am 42 yrs old male. I am a Public Health Professional and work in an International NGO on health issues based in Delhi. I have ageing parents (both suffering from cardiac illness, diabetes and hypertension) which are based in Mumbai, my immediate family (wife and two kids) stays with my parents as there is no one else to take care of them. My parents especially my father is adamant that he doesn’t want to leave his house and stay with me in Delhi. As a result my immediate family is also forced to stay in Mumbai taking care of my parents. My wife is very supportive, however as this situation is like this since last 4-5 years and we are staying in two different cities, it has now taking stall at emotionally and physically on both of us (me, my wife and my two kids). I am desperately searching for job in Mumbai, however in my sector there are not very good opportunities in Mumbai. I tried my hands in two there places for job, however to my misfortune things didnt work out. I am a mid-senior level professional and have reached this position after a lot of hard work, however the stress has started affecting my performance and overall reputation in the organization. Hence there is constant stress of performance, ability to deliver, overall situation has lowered my confidence level affecting my work further. Dissatisfied with my work, my supervisor has already started sidelining me. I am desperately started thinking of leaving the job, however financial condition doesn’t allow me to do that. With COVID-19 pandemic things has worsened, as I am stuck in Delhi even in lockdown, leaving my parents and my wife struggling in Mumbai amidst the lockdown. Even now cant visit them as stressed, whether i will carry risk of infection to my parents, wife and kids, Hence staying away, it’s been 8 months that have not met them. Not sure, how to handle this. One way I thought as looking out opportunities in Mumbai, even if at junior level, However i am trying for that, but not getting suitable opportunities. Not sure, how to handle the pressures from family (Parents don't want to shift, wife is not ready to stay away and has given time till March, there constant pressure of performance). Not sure, what to do.
Ans: Dear S, surely, this pandemic has put many at inconvenience in different ways for each of us across the planet.

What we can do is make the best of what is at this point in time. It indeed is hard to be away from family at a time like this.

I know parents in some families do find it hard adjusting to a new city at their age and having your wife care for them as logical as the decision was has begun to take a toll on the family as a whole.

It is an amazing feeling to come back home to a family after a hard day’s work where they wait with love, care and support.

Either a job in Mumbai or moving your family to Delhi are the options as it is evident that family and their love is important for you to have the security and stability.

Having said this, Lockdown 5.0 begins soon, I think fearlessly take a call, visit your family.

If you think you want to isolate yourself in the fear of COVID-10, do so…but more that all of this, do sit down as a family, COMMUNICATE, talk to your parents about how this is affecting you and obviously they care and love you enough to hear your side of the story.

And finally, do what needs to be done to make sure that your parents understand and are taken care of and your wife and children are with you as a family.

Happy decision making and be happy!

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R P

R P Yadav  | Answer  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Aug 14, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2023Hindi
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Hellow sir, Request you to please suggest and help? I am 39 yrs old male with no job in hand. I am not married as well. Actually my mom was detected with liver cirrhosis and was asked to have liver transplant on Septemeber 2022. After tht i was all after taking care of my mom and looking out for donors. I didnt hav anybody to take care of my mom, my sister is settled in USA and she was expecting. Hence she could nt help, but all the financal help was done by her. My mom underwent Liver Transplant in the month of May 2023 and now she is recovering. I am with her taking care of her. I hav Dad, bt he is also very old. I was before sept 2022 working in a Reputed hospital as deputy marketing manager. I have done my MBA marketing as well with a hotel management degree. I have a total of 11 years of experience with 8.26 lakhs per year package. I always felt in regards of my marriage i m unable to get a match coz i dont hav a suitable job with good package. At 39 i m unable to upgrade my skills coz of all my responsibilities. Maybe September i am thinking of looking out for a job, as my sister is going to return from US. I want to get married and lead a normal life. I also want to grow in life so that i can keep my family happy. I m afraid of being alone all my life, coz my parents in regards with dere health are not doing well. I also want grow in my career. Request you to please guide me what should i do in life ahead . I had no relatives support that is why i had to leave my job to take care of my Parents. At 39 i feel tht i m too old to get married as dere are very few proposals of my age and those which are dere are very much well settled in life and would epexct somone who is more sucessful than me.
Ans: Hi,
I can understand that you have got two issues primarily. First, you need to get a job and secondly is to get married along with taking care of your parents. You can look for jobs through job portals and look for match through various matrimony portals and marriage bureaus. If you do this consistently for a few months, you are bound to succeed.

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