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Onkar

Onkar Singh  | Answer  |Ask -

Career Management, Skills Development Expert - Answered on May 27, 2025

Onkar Singh is the global corporate citizenship strategy and programmes manager (data and reporting -- M&E, lead) at Accenture. He has more than two decades of experience in corporate social responsibility, sustainability, data and reporting. He has expertise in the management of NGOs and corporate foundations. He mentors young professionals in the areas of career management, skills development, personal and community development and DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion) issues. Onkar holds a bachelor's degree in mathematics from St Columba’s College, Hazaribagh, and an MBA from XISS, Ranchi. He also holds a master’s degree in international affairs from Columbia University's School of International and Public Affairs, New York.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2025
Career

Sir, If I give simple resignation in my state government job and join other central government job without informing my previous department,is it right? Or will I have any problem with NPS or GPF or in any other way?

Ans: I am not sure what you mean by a 'simple resignation.' Once you submit your resignation, you're officially notifying your employer/department of your intent to leave. As long as you've adhered to the notice period and fulfilled all conditions outlined in your employment agreement, there shouldn’t be any issue with your NPS or GPF.
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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2025
Relationship
Why do men ghost after sex? I met this amazing guy on Hinge. He was 27, well-mannered, and worked in a data firm in Mumbai. We spoke daily for three months and had amazing chemistry. From music to food, we discussed everything under the sun. We went on a couple of dates to get to know each other. When we got comfortable, we got intimate and eventually had consensual s** at his friend's house party. One week after we got intimate, he just vanished. No replies, no calls. It was my first time, so I kept wondering if I had done something wrong to upset him. My friend says it could be post-intimacy guilt. But I feel embarrassed, ashamed. I can't shake off the shame. Did I move too fast? Is this how dating works now? How can I go back to feeling normal again?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am really sorry you are going through this. What happened is just as confusing as it is hurtful. Let’s get one thing straight, you did nothing wrong. You are not at fault here. Nothing you could’ve done or said should or could cause this reaction.
Coming to your first question, it is very difficult to answer it without generalizing all men. But some of the most reasons for this could be:
He got what he wanted. It sounds crass but in most cases, this is the truth. He had no intentions of being more than just that.
He might be avoiding responsibility. He didn’t want more, and the mature thing would have been to sit down and have that discussion with you. But, maturity isn’t easy and he chose the easy route, that is to ghost. His decision to disappear is a reflection of his nature, not yours.
Coming to what your friend said, it could be that too, but the chances are slim. Some men do feel overwhelmed but disappearing for over a week is a stretch. Again, it’s his unreadiness to feel so many emotions, not yours.
Now, I want to gently nudge you towards one thing: you said you feel ashamed. Shame creeps in when you hold yourself accountable for someone else’s actions. And also due to societal prejudice. Keep both aside, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. Did you move too fast? To be honest, there is no fast or slow in these things. There’s no set timeline. You did what you felt was right in the moment. And you were ready to step up, but he went MIA. The entire unfortunate turnout is not because of your pace but his lack of respect. Even if he comes up with a good enough reason for this disappearing act, I still want you to remember that not even for a second, you had anything to create this situation.


I hope this helps.

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