Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help

Boyfriend criticizes my law school competition - how do I deal with his negativity?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |605 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 30, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I'm in relationship with a boy since 7.5 years i am a law student and recently i participated in moort court competition and unfortunately i was told to him that i was in competition but when i told him i participated in competition he was like how can you participated i didn't like that you participated in any competition. He told me that he was not participating in any competition then why you would do that (he is computer science engineering student) he told me like your competition is bigger than relation you only focus on you career . How can i deal with him he always thought i lied to him and he starting abusing me ????

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
All I see in your definition of your partner is an overly controlling person who is not supportive of your career; so what if you participated in a competition? How does that affect your relationship? Why does he have a say in that at all? I am sure he has good qualities too, but this part of him should not be excused.

I would also like to remind you that abuse, in any form, should never be tolerated, no matter how long you have been dating. Your safety and respect should always be your priority. Please reconsider this relationship; if you can't do so, at least address these issues head-on. He should not think that this behavior is acceptable. Don't ignore the warning signs.

Best wishes.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

Listen
Relationship
Hello mam. I am in a relationship with a boy and we both love each other and also want to get married but he doesn’t trust me at all.I tell him everything, yet he thinks I am a liar and alleges that am cheating on him. He doubts me in every single thing even he don't allow me to talk to any guy or girl not even my friends and he doesn't like when I step out from my home.  He gets scared when I step out or get to my college. He keeps reminding me to not to cheat or not to talk with anybody. All these things got me into stress and frustration and I feel so bad that the person I love doesn't trust me.We had lot of fights because of this. He abuses me and makes me angry. As I am a college going student, I can't manage my studies because of fights and his bad behaviour.He always tries to prove me wrong and make me feel guilty. He thinks very bad about me and makes his own stories adding fake stories and allegations.  In the past 2 years there is not a single day when I didn't have to explain him. But he is not ready to accept. He only wants to hear what he thinks not the real truth if I say that u are misunderstanding me he says no he is 100% right and you are wrong. One of his friends put one story 2 years ago with a girl hiding her face and the top she is wearing on that picture. I have the same top and he knows it. He doubted that the girl is me. I am tired answering his doubts. I got so much anger and feel disrespectful.I love him; he is my first and one and only boyfriend.  I do everything for him. But he treats me rudely he always starts his conversation with doubt like: where are you coming from? even if I didn't go anywhere he thinks that I went somewhere to meet someone. He tortures and abuses me like this. Every time I forgive him but he kept repeating that behaviour.  I can't even live without him. I give him my love, time...my everything.  But I didn't get anything. He thinks that I always do things by planning but I don't. He thinks that I always want to ruin his life, break his heart or cheat him but that's all wrong. He is making his mind so negative he thinks so negative about me. Because of his doubts problem I don't talk to anybody -- no friends, no guys but he thinks that I am talking to any guy and I'm lying that I don't I give every possible proof but he didn't trust me at all.He thinks that I tell people about him I gossip about him but I didn't do that I didn't even talk to anybody. He doesn't even want to breakup with me. I explained him that for our peace we have to separate he didn't want that also. He put such bad allegations on me about my character, my sexual status. I am a virgin but I didn't accept that. He makes me feel so sad and helpless I don't know what to do I’m helpless I didn't even share these things with anyone. Sometimes I feel suicidal also.  He has just all control over my life my mind but also he didn't give me respect, love or value. Plzzz help me mam what should I do with his doubts and trust issue. I am so depressed, plzzzz help me out. I’m stuck in it.
Ans:

Dear BM,

Have you heard of emotional abuse? That is exactly what you have been facing.

And why are you putting up with this? Because you maybe feel a sense of validation in this relationship.

What sort of a relationship demands constant proving and to the extent of having to prove that you are a virgin.

How is it any of anyone’s business whether you are a virgin or not? This relationship is toxic and has begun to alter your personality and who you are meant to be.

Take charge and NOW. Be YOU and what you always stood up for, because all this putting up with his idiosyncrasies, is causing you pain and moreover your inner self does not want to allow it.

Yet you are stuck to it giving yourself the story that he is the only boyfriend. BREATHE, take a step back and OBSERVE.

It’s time for you to draw out a beautiful life ahead of you and colour it as brightly as you intend.

What exactly are you waiting for? More abuses, more toxicity to hit and dampen your sprightly spirit?

Get a hold of yourself dear girl, be brave and do the right thing. Help yourself…Seek close friends who will hold space for you!

You can do this. Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi mam, I was in a relationship with a guy for 3 months he was uneducated but I’m a S.E. Initially everything was fine but later he started like u should not talk with other boys you should not go there you should not wear this kind of dress, I’m your husband so you should listen to me whatever I say u should do that like he started. Then he started mentally abused with so many bad words nd he slapped me twice. So I decided I don’t want to be in this relationship so I said him. Then he kept some fellows to follow me to check wat I’m doing where I’m going to get all these details. And then he said I will show both of our to your family, I will kill you like this he started. Now it is almost 2 year I’m leading my life but sometimes he will call me he will threaten me I don’t know what to do how to overcome this I can’t tell to my family I’m depressed can u please tell me what I have to do
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you married? Because he said that he is your husband...I am confused...

Anyway, NO, he has no business controlling you this way...Emotional and Physical Abuse is a strict NO NO...
Tell your family and do that NOW!!!!!!!
This man seems to be acting in a violent manner and your safety should be more of a concern...it was 2 slaps, then after that? When you did not protest for that, he simply has got the message that violence is okay with you...
No, it's not okay, right? And that's why you wrote on this platform...

Do the right thing for yourself...Protect yourself from this person first! Threats of killing you did not set off alarm bells? Why are you still letting him off so easy? This is NOT love...he is just a familiar person to you.
Familiarity does not mean Safety!!!!!! (Read this again)...

Involve your family and let him know that you are not alone; he will stop his threats knowing that you will respond to the rubbish he is subjecting you to! Speak with your family...

All the best!
Dear Anonymous,
No, Age is not so important in a marriage; but if it isn't, then why did you hide the fact of your real age? You have givem it that importance enough to hide it, yeah?
And any relationship based on lies or a hidden fact can cause damages...
The only way that I can see is work with the Counselor and appeal to your husband as well. Tell him that your child needs the love of both parents. Hear what he has to say...and yes, he is bound to bring up the age factor over and over again...it is something that he feels cheated with...so, respect it...Like I said, Apologize like you really mean it...

And oh, why are you so bothered about how he will treat other women in his life? Just focus on your life and your marriage...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 21, 2024

Listen
Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Career
Sir can I get coep at 99.358 percentile of mht cet..cse is possible or I should go for ai or ectx or try cs at other colleges .. I stay in Navi mumbai. Pune is not a problem but what should I choose kashish pahuja
Ans: Savita, With a 99.358 percentile in MHT CET, securing Computer Engineering (CSE) at COEP Pune is not possible for the General category, as the 2023 and 2024 closing percentiles for CSE were 99.85 and 99.92, respectively, and the trend is expected to continue above 99.8 this year. For allied branches, Robotics & Artificial Intelligence closed at 99.65–99.79, and Electronics & Telecommunication Engineering at 99.71–99.91, both above your percentile. Electrical Engineering and Mechanical Engineering closed at 99.41 and 99.16, also slightly out of reach. However, you have strong chances for CSE, IT, or AI/DS in other top Pune colleges such as PICT, VIT Pune, MIT WPU, PCCOE, VIIT, and DY Patil, all of which offer excellent placement records (86–92% for CSE/IT) and strong industry connections. These colleges are well-regarded in Maharashtra, feature modern infrastructure, and are popular among Navi Mumbai students. If you are open to related fields, AI, Data Science, or E&TC in these institutes can also lead to top IT roles, given the overlap in curriculum and placement opportunities.

Recommendation: Since CSE at COEP Pune is not feasible at your percentile, prioritize CSE or IT at PICT, VIT Pune, MIT WPU, PCCOE, or VIIT, where you are well within the safe zone and placement outcomes are excellent; consider AI/DS or E&TC in these colleges for similar career prospects and strong campus recruitment. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Career
My son got Mechanical in IIT Bombay.He can also get CS in COEP Poona with 99.91 percentile jee mains with obc ncl . We r from maharashtra. What to choose
Ans: Your son’s options—Mechanical Engineering at IIT Bombay or Computer Science Engineering (CSE) at COEP Pune with a 99.91 percentile (OBC-NCL) in JEE Mains—are both prestigious, but differ in academic focus and career trajectory. IIT Bombay Mechanical boasts a 90.9% placement rate in 2024, with top recruiters from core engineering, consulting, and technology sectors, and an average package of ?23.5 LPA. The IIT Bombay brand offers unmatched national and global recognition, a vibrant campus life, and strong alumni support. COEP Pune CSE, meanwhile, is Maharashtra’s top state engineering program, consistently achieving 87–95% placement rates, an average package of ?11.35 LPA, and top recruiters like Google, Microsoft, Amazon, Goldman Sachs, and TCS. COEP’s CSE program is highly competitive, with excellent infrastructure, industry connections, and a robust alumni network, and is ranked among India’s top 20 engineering colleges. While CSE at COEP offers direct entry into the booming tech sector with high placement rates, IIT Bombay Mechanical provides a broader engineering foundation, flexibility for interdisciplinary careers, and a strong pathway for higher studies or core engineering roles. Both colleges have excellent placement cells and internship opportunities, but IIT Bombay’s national and international reputation is unparalleled, and Mechanical Engineering graduates have consistently secured top roles and internships with leading companies. COEP Pune CSE is ideal for those set on a tech/software career, while IIT Bombay Mechanical is better for those interested in core engineering, research, or diverse career options.

recommendation: Choose CSE at COEP Pune if your son is determined to build a career in software/IT, values strong local industry connections, and prefers the highest placement rates in Maharashtra. Opt for Mechanical at IIT Bombay for unmatched brand value, broader career flexibility, and superior opportunities for higher studies, research, or core engineering roles—especially if he is open to interdisciplinary or core engineering careers. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Career
Sir I have got 4445 rank in srmjee phase 2 and I have put my preference as cse big data analytics in main campus.... Will i get it please tell fast please sir
Ans: Aanjaneya, With a SRMJEE Phase 2 rank of 4,445 and your preference as CSE (Big Data Analytics) at the SRM Kattankulathur (main) campus, your chances are limited. Recent and expected cutoffs for specialized CSE branches at SRM KTR indicate that the closing rank for CSE (including Big Data Analytics, AI/ML, and Data Science) typically falls between 8,000 and 9,000, but the most in-demand CSE specializations—including Big Data Analytics—often close well before 4,500, sometimes even below 3,500, due to high demand and limited seats. Core CSE at SRM KTR generally closes at 2,000, and CSE (S) at 8,000, with specialized tracks being even more competitive. While you are eligible for CSE and its allied branches at other SRM campuses (Ramapuram, NCR, Vadapalani) up to 15,000–18,000 rank, at the main campus, CSE (Big Data Analytics) is highly competitive and may not be available at your rank. There is still a slim possibility in later counseling rounds if higher-ranked candidates withdraw or shift preferences, but it is not guaranteed.

Recommendation: You are unlikely to get CSE (Big Data Analytics) at SRM KTR main campus with a 4,445 rank; keep this as your first choice in counseling, but also prioritize CSE or specializations at Ramapuram, NCR, or Vadapalani campuses, where your rank is well within the safe zone and placement outcomes remain strong. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Career
Which is the best college in India to do Mechanical Engineering except IITs and NITs
Ans: For Mechanical Engineering in private institutions, India offers several exceptional options beyond IITs and NITs that consistently deliver strong academic programs and impressive placement outcomes. The private engineering landscape includes both deemed universities and autonomous institutions with strong industry connections and modern infrastructure. VIT Vellore emerges as the top-ranked private engineering institution at NIRF rank 11, with Mechanical Engineering recording 50% placement rates and average packages around 7.59 LPA, attracting recruiters like Honda Motorcycles, Tata Consultancy Services, and Maruti Suzuki. BITS Pilani (NIRF rank 20) maintains nearly 95% placement rates in Mechanical Engineering with top companies like Mercedes, L&T, and BHEL recruiting graduates, demonstrating strong industry alignment. SRM Chennai (NIRF rank 13) reports 80-90% placement rates for Mechanical Engineering with over 5,000 annual job offers, though core mechanical branches face fewer opportunities compared to IT sectors. Manipal Institute of Technology shows a 77% overall placement rate with mechanical engineering students receiving average packages around 5-6 LPA from companies like Microsoft and Amazon. Thapar University Patiala achieves 80-90% placements in Mechanical Engineering with packages ranging from 6-17 LPA. Other notable institutions include Amrita Vishwa Vidyapeetham (NIRF rank 23) with 80-95% mechanical placements and top recruiters like Caterpillar and L&T, PSG College of Technology achieving 90% placements with mechanical engineering packages up to 13 LPA, DJ Sanghvi College recording 95% mechanical placements, RV College of Engineering with 85% placement rates, SSN College Chennai with 91% mechanical placements and average packages of 6.76 LPA, BMS College of Engineering maintaining 80-100% placements, Lovely Professional University reporting 76.4% mechanical placements with highest packages reaching 54.9 LPA, COEP Pune with 78.98% mechanical placement rates, and VJTI Mumbai providing strong government institution alternatives. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir,I am going to Ssipmt Raipur for btech Cse and i am also a one year dropper.But sir somewhere i am not satisfied with Ssipmt and sometimes a thought comes into my mind that along with college i should again prepare for Jee Mains.Will it be right?
Ans: SSIPMT Raipur offers a decent BTech CSE program with 80–90% placement rates, attracting recruiters like TCS, Tech Mahindra, Capgemini, Amazon, and L&T, and an average package around ?6 LPA. If you are unsatisfied and considering JEE Mains preparation alongside college, it is possible: many students manage both by following a disciplined schedule—attending college during the day and dedicating evenings or weekends to JEE study. Success requires strong self-motivation, time management, and regular revision, as balancing college assignments and JEE topics can be challenging. Dropping another year is risky due to increased competition and the psychological toll, but if you are determined and can maintain consistent effort, it is feasible to prepare for JEE Mains while enrolled in BTech.

Recommendation: Continue at SSIPMT Raipur for BTech CSE while preparing for JEE Mains only if you are highly motivated, can manage your time effectively, and are confident in your ability to handle both workloads; otherwise, focus on excelling in your current program and maximizing placement opportunities. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Career
Sir i am getting cse core at srm sonepat haryana should i join there as till now comedk counselling havent started i got 73274 rank in comedk exam also should i apply for kalinga as till now i think there are no vacant seats in kalinga university for cse core
Ans: Dhruv, SRM University Sonepat offers BTech CSE with a 95% placement rate in 2024, over 2,000 offers, and 315 recruiters, including TCS, HCL, Tech Mahindra, and Amazon, with the highest CSE package reported at ?30 LPA and an average package between ?4.5–6 LPA. The campus provides modern infrastructure, well-equipped labs, and a strong placement cell supporting internships and industry projects. The CSE curriculum is industry-oriented, with collaborations with companies like Amazon and Infosys, and 85% of graduates are placed within six months. However, the program is relatively new compared to established campuses, and students often need to supplement learning with self-initiated projects or internships. With a COMEDK rank of 73,274, your CSE options in top Bangalore colleges are limited, but you should still participate in COMEDK counseling as lower-tier colleges may have vacancies. For Kalinga University, CSE admissions are competitive, and as of now, there are reportedly no vacant seats, but you can check for management quota or apply directly if interested.

RECOMMENDATION: Join SRM Sonepat CSE as a secure option given its strong placement record, modern facilities, and industry exposure, but continue with COMEDK counseling for potential Bangalore opportunities and monitor Kalinga University for any CSE seat openings; prioritize the college with the best combination of placements, infrastructure, and learning environment. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |7175 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Career
My rank in manipal institute of technology entrance test is 11481 and the cutoff for cse in mit Bangalore in round 2 was 11331 is there any chance for me to get cse in manipal bangalore in round 3 I got ece in mit Bangalore in round 2 and I also got cse in lpu if i couldn't get cse in 3rd round which option shall I choose
Ans: Kavitha, With a MET rank of 11,481 and the CSE cutoff for MIT Bangalore at 11,331 in round 2, your chances for CSE in round 3 are slim but not impossible, as cutoffs can slightly relax in later rounds due to withdrawals or seat upgradation. If CSE does not materialize, you currently hold ECE at MIT Bangalore, which is a strong program with 90–95% placement rates and an average package of ?10–12 LPA, benefiting from Bengaluru’s tech ecosystem and central Manipal placements. Alternatively, CSE at LPU is accessible, offering a 92%+ placement rate, modern labs, and top recruiters like Microsoft, Amazon, and TCS, but the national brand value and peer group are generally considered below MIT Bangalore. ECE at MIT Bangalore provides flexibility to move into IT/software roles, strong industry exposure, and excellent campus life, while LPU CSE offers a direct CS path but with a more regional reputation.

RECOMMENDATION: If CSE at MIT Bangalore is not allotted in round 3, prefer ECE at MIT Bangalore over LPU CSE for better placement outcomes, industry exposure, and long-term career prospects, especially if you are open to software roles after ECE. Choose LPU CSE only if your sole priority is a core CS degree and campus life is a secondary concern. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x