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Boyfriend criticizes my law school competition - how do I deal with his negativity?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |431 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 30, 2024

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
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Asked by Anonymous - Oct 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I'm in relationship with a boy since 7.5 years i am a law student and recently i participated in moort court competition and unfortunately i was told to him that i was in competition but when i told him i participated in competition he was like how can you participated i didn't like that you participated in any competition. He told me that he was not participating in any competition then why you would do that (he is computer science engineering student) he told me like your competition is bigger than relation you only focus on you career . How can i deal with him he always thought i lied to him and he starting abusing me ????

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
All I see in your definition of your partner is an overly controlling person who is not supportive of your career; so what if you participated in a competition? How does that affect your relationship? Why does he have a say in that at all? I am sure he has good qualities too, but this part of him should not be excused.

I would also like to remind you that abuse, in any form, should never be tolerated, no matter how long you have been dating. Your safety and respect should always be your priority. Please reconsider this relationship; if you can't do so, at least address these issues head-on. He should not think that this behavior is acceptable. Don't ignore the warning signs.

Best wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 06, 2022

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Hello mam. I am in a relationship with a boy and we both love each other and also want to get married but he doesn’t trust me at all.I tell him everything, yet he thinks I am a liar and alleges that am cheating on him. He doubts me in every single thing even he don't allow me to talk to any guy or girl not even my friends and he doesn't like when I step out from my home.  He gets scared when I step out or get to my college. He keeps reminding me to not to cheat or not to talk with anybody. All these things got me into stress and frustration and I feel so bad that the person I love doesn't trust me.We had lot of fights because of this. He abuses me and makes me angry. As I am a college going student, I can't manage my studies because of fights and his bad behaviour.He always tries to prove me wrong and make me feel guilty. He thinks very bad about me and makes his own stories adding fake stories and allegations.  In the past 2 years there is not a single day when I didn't have to explain him. But he is not ready to accept. He only wants to hear what he thinks not the real truth if I say that u are misunderstanding me he says no he is 100% right and you are wrong. One of his friends put one story 2 years ago with a girl hiding her face and the top she is wearing on that picture. I have the same top and he knows it. He doubted that the girl is me. I am tired answering his doubts. I got so much anger and feel disrespectful.I love him; he is my first and one and only boyfriend.  I do everything for him. But he treats me rudely he always starts his conversation with doubt like: where are you coming from? even if I didn't go anywhere he thinks that I went somewhere to meet someone. He tortures and abuses me like this. Every time I forgive him but he kept repeating that behaviour.  I can't even live without him. I give him my love, time...my everything.  But I didn't get anything. He thinks that I always do things by planning but I don't. He thinks that I always want to ruin his life, break his heart or cheat him but that's all wrong. He is making his mind so negative he thinks so negative about me. Because of his doubts problem I don't talk to anybody -- no friends, no guys but he thinks that I am talking to any guy and I'm lying that I don't I give every possible proof but he didn't trust me at all.He thinks that I tell people about him I gossip about him but I didn't do that I didn't even talk to anybody. He doesn't even want to breakup with me. I explained him that for our peace we have to separate he didn't want that also. He put such bad allegations on me about my character, my sexual status. I am a virgin but I didn't accept that. He makes me feel so sad and helpless I don't know what to do I’m helpless I didn't even share these things with anyone. Sometimes I feel suicidal also.  He has just all control over my life my mind but also he didn't give me respect, love or value. Plzzz help me mam what should I do with his doubts and trust issue. I am so depressed, plzzzz help me out. I’m stuck in it.
Ans:

Dear BM,

Have you heard of emotional abuse? That is exactly what you have been facing.

And why are you putting up with this? Because you maybe feel a sense of validation in this relationship.

What sort of a relationship demands constant proving and to the extent of having to prove that you are a virgin.

How is it any of anyone’s business whether you are a virgin or not? This relationship is toxic and has begun to alter your personality and who you are meant to be.

Take charge and NOW. Be YOU and what you always stood up for, because all this putting up with his idiosyncrasies, is causing you pain and moreover your inner self does not want to allow it.

Yet you are stuck to it giving yourself the story that he is the only boyfriend. BREATHE, take a step back and OBSERVE.

It’s time for you to draw out a beautiful life ahead of you and colour it as brightly as you intend.

What exactly are you waiting for? More abuses, more toxicity to hit and dampen your sprightly spirit?

Get a hold of yourself dear girl, be brave and do the right thing. Help yourself…Seek close friends who will hold space for you!

You can do this. Best wishes!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1321 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 21, 2024

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T S Khurana

T S Khurana   |197 Answers  |Ask -

Tax Expert - Answered on Nov 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 11, 2024Hindi
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Money
Can you please suggest on capital gains as per Indian taxation laws arising in the below two queries : 1) property purchased with joint ownership, me and my wife’s name in 2015 at a cost of 64,80,000, housing improvements done for the cost of 1000000 and brokerages of 200000 paid and sold the same property at 10000000 in Dec 2023? 2) 87% of the proceeds got from the deal i.e 8700000, have been reinvested to pay 25% amount in purchasing another joint ownership property in Dec 2023, 3) I have invested in another under construction property in Nov 2023 by taking housing loan, which is on me and my wife’s name worth 1.4 cr, here the primary applicant is me only while wife is just made a Co applicant in the builder buyer agreement and also on the housing loan . So what are the LTCG tax liabilities arising from the above 3 scenarios for FY 2023-2024 and FY 2024-2025. I intend to sale off the property acquired in (2) by Dec 2024 and use that proceeds to close the housing loan for the property acquired in (3), will this sale of property be inviting any tax liabilities if the complete proceeds received from the sale of the property in (2) would be utilised to close the housing loan taken in Nov 2023 for the property in (3) ? Since in FY 23-24, I would be claiming the LTCG from the sale proceeds of 1) invested in the purchase of property in 2), and I intend to sale off this property in Dec 2024, will the LTCG claim be forfeited on the property sale in (1), should I hold this property at least for further 1 year so that sale of this property in 2) will not invite STCG?
Ans: (A). Let's first talk about F/Y 2023-24 :
You jointly sold a Property during the year for Rs.76.80 lakhs (64.80+10.00+2.00), & sold the same for Rs.100.00 lakhs.
You have jointly also purchased Property No.3 (I suppose it is Residential only), for Rs.140.00 lakhs.
You should avail exemption u/s-54 & file your ITR accordingly. Please disclose all details about sale & purchase in your ITR.
02. Now coming to the F/Y 2024-25 :
You intend to Sell Property No.2, which was acquired in 2023-24. Any Gain on Sale of it would be Short Term capital Gains & taxed accordingly.
Alternatively, you may hold this sale of property no.2 (for 2 years from its purchase) & avoid STCG
You are free to utilize the sale proceeds in a way you like, including paying off your housing Loan.
Please note to avail exemption u/s 54 only from investment in property no.3 & not 2.
Most welcome for any further clarifications. Thanks.

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