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R P Yadav  |131 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Nov 21, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 23, 2023Translate
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I have just completed my masters few months back. During my course I have faced lot of hurdles obstacles which left me in a shocked manner. Now I am also facing a pressure from my close ones I cannot understand what to do in this moment.

Ans: now you should apply for job.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2020

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Dear Anu,I am 41 years old doing my own business since 14 years. I live with my parents and i am married. Blessed with two children. I am the sole bread winner. They all luv me very much. These days (year 2020) I feel stressed and lonely, bcos of financial problem in running my house and fulfilling my EMI and other loan commitments. My family knows my financial adjustments and commitments. I feel myself like a machine working non-stop to keep my family happy and fullfil their desires. I don’t feel happy going home after my work for the day. I feel like I don’t understand them or they don't understand me. I know they luv me so much and me too. I feel let down but actually they support me in all the way they can. What should I do?
Ans: Dear AK, sadly, most of our lives are lived doing things for others.

Initially seeing the happiness on the faces of our loved ones makes us believe that what we are doing is the right thing.

But if you work or so anything in life without taking into consideration your feelings or your what you value for yourself, it will slowly start to seep into your core and you either end up feeling stressed or anxious.

I do understand that your situation is one of financial challenges, you mist work and why not work and at least set sometime for yourself over the weekend to rejuvenate yourself?

This time is non-negotiable and it is to refresh yourself so you can go back on Monday with a newness.

Also, instead of working like a machine, why not think that you are working efficiently to slowly pay off EMIs and to be free of them.

Bring some harmony between work and life which is what I can offer as a suggestion to you.

Be happy and work not out of compulsion but passion!

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 27, 2022

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Hi Anu, I'm here to let my feelings out. I'm 23 years old, working in IT. I have never been a person orientated towards studies not just now but even as a kid. I never knew that this would take a toll on my life like this. I'm. Not happy with my job. I'm not passionate about it. Clearly I'm not performing well. Neither am I trying to. It's been a long time since I felt like I have things in control. Right now I can't control myself, my feelings, my thoughts, my brain process. After the lockdown began I have totally lost everything that I was left with. It's been a very long time since I have been happy about what's happening in life. I don't know what to do. I was depressed for 3 years due to break up. I think meeting that person made my life upside down. It was a very bad influence on me. He was a narcissist. Which is what has made like this today I guess. I have nothing in control, I don't know if I'll be able to make things right in my life, if I'll ever be better again. There's too much confusion, fear, pain and sadness inside of me. I'm stuck in the same place for years now. I have no confidence to do anything. I don't believe in myself, I cannot talk to myself in a good way. If something wrong happens to me today, I accept it. I do not have the strength to fight against or for anything. I feel hollow. I feel like there is absolutely nothing inside of me left. I feel like there nothing I can do to make my life better. The solution to make this right for my family is to k*** myself. Because I don't see hope. Even though I have dreams, I don't believe in myself that I will be able to fulfil them. Because I don't have the spark of life in me. Everything inside me dead. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if you'll be able to help me. But I'm not able to deal with myself. The pity I have on myself. The disgust I have on myself.
Ans:

Dear S,

It’s like being unsettled has become a way of life. And you haven’t become aware that what you are living with in terms of uncertainty is mostly self-created.

You are seeing it with academics, work, relationships. It’s a pattern which must be broken provided you wish to see a massive change in your life.

Ask yourself:

1. What do I seek from life?
2. Where do I see myself in the professional space?
3. What do I wish for in a relationship/partner?

Now, check if your thoughts and behaviours align with what you wish for.

For eg: If you are looking at losing weight, if your behaviour is no exercise and reaching out for a midnight snack, you will never get to what you wish for.

So, if you want to feel more certain and have a certain level of wellbeing and grip in your life, you need to come up with some sort of fool proof plan and stick with it.

If you haven’t been very fine with academics, surely you can still put your best foot forward in your workplace taking more initiatives and thinking about how to grow there.

With relationships, start asking yourself, how can I add value to my partner?

It’s time you took responsibility for your choices and its results. So, if you want massive changes in the results, change the way you think and do things.

Am I getting through to you here?

Nothing is dead; you just have to inspire yourself to think and do different.

So, self-pity isn’t going to get you anywhere.

If he was a narcissist, good things didn’t work out…time to move on rather than make more excuses for your life not going anywhere.

Do you know now what you must do? Just Step Up!

Best wishes!

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 18, 2023

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I am jee aspirant and couldn't clear it . I was sure that in 2nd attempt i will do it for sure but when I saw the results they broke my courage. I convinced my self its ok u have many other options but after seeing my cbse 12th results its hard that there is any option left for me. I thought for bits pilani but I am not getting aggregate above than 75% . Now , I have no courage to start again . I am depressed what should I should do. There isn't any single day that I am not scolded for my marks and mistakes . Even now my parents aren't that much supportive like they were . It feels like just because u can't clear ur entrance exam , ur everything is judged. My parents are saying of taking drop but its hard for to take a drop. I don't know what should I do. Every day its getting hard to live thinking that again someone will come and make me count my mistakes.
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
You win some, you lose some...that is LIFE...

Instead of feeling down and out, pick yourself up and figure out what you want to do next...what are the other options that you are yet to consider. feeling sorry for yourself is not going to push you to make a future.
You can't change what's happened but you can certainly choose how you want things to move ahead...
So shake this low feeling and feeling sorry for yourself off and seek the advice of a senior who you look up to or someone in your family who can guide you on the next steps.
It helps involving someone to help you at this time as you are deep into it already. This person can play the role of giving you independent advice and suggestions without judging you.

1. Seek someone who is a role model to guide you
2. Look ahead instead of harping on what has happened
3. Use failure as a form of feedback from where you can learn
4. Spend at least a month away from academics to rework strategies on how to study effectively
5. Smile through challenges as they only help you grow

And if you still feel that your parents are being supportive, do let them know that you need more of their love and care.

All the best!
(more)
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2023

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Hai i am 58 and retired my wife expired 30 months back i had two daughters who are working and yet to be married. very frequently these days i get dreams where i feel i am lost on my journey to somewhere or i am simply attending an office without any proper work or in my dreams i get one of my uncle (who is no more now passed away 7 years back )and his family members with whom i stayed during my studies for six years 40 years back. can you please analyse
Ans: Dear P,
I am truly sorry for your loss...

I am not a dreams analyst or someone who interprets dreams. I can only make a few guesses from what you have shared and suggest something that will guide you to be more positive and happier.
Dreams are a manifestation of deep desires, fears, dark memories, happier memories...dreams basically can indicate what lies deep within the subconscious mind. It's possible from what you share that 'LOSING' your wife has triggered many more situations where you had lost someone or you fear that you might lose someone or something. Maybe that explains the dream of you going to office without paper work...

Losing someone dear is a very difficult journey and it can show up in different ways. The only way can process grief is through time and an understanding that nothing is permanent in life. It's a momentum of give and take, having and losing...Maybe if you are able to consciously adapt and accept this, over time your subconscious mind starts to change and adapt as well. Again, I will reiterate: You certainly will still miss the person and feel sad; it's just that you will start to miss differently as the acceptance will allow you to graciously be in a space of understanding. Difficult BUT Possible!
Also, practice the Art of Gratitude. Being thankful for every little thing, lets you be in a positive space allowing you to be at peace more often.

These are only suggestions from what I could gather from the information that you have shared and not an analysis or interpretation of your dreams.

All the best!
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