Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |723 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 06, 2020

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
AK Question by AK on Oct 06, 2020Translate
Listen
Relationship

Dear Anu,I am 41 years old doing my own business since 14 years.

I live with my parents and i am married. Blessed with two children. I am the sole bread winner. They all luv me very much.

These days (year 2020) I feel stressed and lonely, bcos of financial problem in running my house and fulfilling my EMI and other loan commitments.

My family knows my financial adjustments and commitments. I feel myself like a machine working non-stop to keep my family happy and fullfil their desires.

I don’t feel happy going home after my work for the day. I feel like I don’t understand them or they don't understand me.

I know they luv me so much and me too. I feel let down but actually they support me in all the way they can. What should I do?

Ans: Dear AK, sadly, most of our lives are lived doing things for others.

Initially seeing the happiness on the faces of our loved ones makes us believe that what we are doing is the right thing.

But if you work or so anything in life without taking into consideration your feelings or your what you value for yourself, it will slowly start to seep into your core and you either end up feeling stressed or anxious.

I do understand that your situation is one of financial challenges, you mist work and why not work and at least set sometime for yourself over the weekend to rejuvenate yourself?

This time is non-negotiable and it is to refresh yourself so you can go back on Monday with a newness.

Also, instead of working like a machine, why not think that you are working efficiently to slowly pay off EMIs and to be free of them.

Bring some harmony between work and life which is what I can offer as a suggestion to you.

Be happy and work not out of compulsion but passion!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Mayank

Mayank Rautela  |235 Answers  |Ask -

HR Expert - Answered on May 18, 2022

Listen
Career
Dear Mayank Sir, I am facing a difficult problem both personally and professionally. Last year, I took the decision to move back home, which is in a small town, because both my parents had survived COVID but have been facing major health issues since then. I am their only child. As a result, I had to leave a job where my prospects were very good and I was enjoying my work very much. Also, I was living in a big city, independent of my parents whom I love very much. It is a struggle to be back at home with them. They still treat me like a small child with advice and questions at every step. Workwise too, the job is a huge stepdown and the money, though decent, is less that what I used to earn. Responsibilities and challenges, which I used to enjoy, are less too. I have to stay here for one more year at least before I can make plans to move out again. The stress from home is spilling out at my job and the irritation at work is spilling out at home. How do I handle this? Am going crazy. Please help.
Ans:

Hi.

I appreciate the fact that you sacrificed your job to take care of your parents.

Ideally, you should go back to a larger city and restart your career. I am sure your past employer would be open to taking you back.

If that is not possible, then you need to have a candid discussion with your parents and make them understand that their constant involvement in your life is not acceptable.

They may be doing it out of love but, since it is negatively impacting you, they need to give you space.

Please don’t change your job in your hometown as that will further complicate your situation.

 

(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |723 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 12, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2023Translate
Listen
Relationship
I am 48 years old. Ever since my childhood I was a bright student but was denied education and other facilities like good clothes, footwears etc despite I was being a only son having 2 sisters, where as eldest sister was provided with extra facilities which she did not care for. Our economical background was moderate. We were not poor. After my schooling which was free I completed my diploma and degree in mech. Engg(long distance education) of my own and worked in related companies for 10 years. My performance was appreciated orally but received nominal monitory benefits. After that I learnt Info Tech skills from my savings and worked in IT field for 16 years. Here also my work was highly appreciated but received quite a minimal monitory benefits, May be because of my very simple and state forward nature but not naïve one certainly. Now since last 1 year I learnt trading skills in share market, but here also, even though I am not in loss but is still awaiting a minimum satisfactory success. I am able to cater to all the requirement of my nuclear family but does not have a car and still not able to make long distance tours. Now days I feel like I am a big looser and also feel like my luck will never let me win big. Whereas most of my friends have achieved great success in less than 5% struggle than mine with the help of their parents. I am feeling diminished, lost, wasted and hapless/hopeless. Kindly suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Let's accept that not all of us are born with a silver spoon and furthermore, we may always be at the losing end with core relationships as well...
At 48, do you want to go back in time and count all that went wrong, how unfair people and life was? Are you able to change anything? NO!

1. You cannot change your past but you can certainly change the way you feel about it.
2. The way you feel about your past is what will create your current reality. You can check with yourself; your present life is possibly filled with challenges and short-lived happy times. That is because you have chosen to play the VICTIM card even now. What happens in the past, stays there.
3. Why not instead laud your efforts at learning new skills at trading and expand your expertise through certifications and other forms of learning? This will not only help at work but will also teach you to look within yourself more.
4. I am unsure if your statistic of 5% is something that you have come up with enough research
5. Your parents did what they could and to accept it even if you feel unfairly treated is the only way you can move ahead

Choose: Play the victim of the past OR Play the creator of the present and future.

To choose the latter will mean. letting go of the past that you are holding onto? Are you ready to do this? I am sure you want to; who wouldn't want to create a better life for themselves?

All the best!
(more)
Harsh

Harsh Bharwani  |55 Answers  |Ask -

Entrepreneurship Expert - Answered on Jul 04, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2023Translate
Career
Dear sir i am 51 yr old ,i had a very tough life,i was bright and honest student..i got adhoc lecturer ship which i have to left as it was adhoc only i like my profession but i had to left ..than i join with help of my friend sales which i don't like but to earn i did and rose to higher management level...my married elder brother was having depression,i left the parental home to help him ,my parents were both retired govt employees getting good pension...i struggled to make both ends meet..later on my parents get medical trouble still my wife took care of them at my house.. I left the job in 2010 me and my friends who bring me job started the business but he ditched me the first day on business i take courage and continued the business... Meanwhile my parents refused yo help....after 3 yr of my business my parents come to help them as my mother has to do 3 month complete bed rest ,me and my wife helped them after that they come for 2 -3 months in a year for 5 years but after that my mother starts querlling with my wife ,i stoped their coming but told i will help them they need..i helped them during covid ,and other medical problems ,in 2021 my father passed away in i met an car accident my mother refused to give registery of copy in cour yo get bail..i stopped my all relation on this ...my daughter went to canada in sep 2021..i took 7 lacs loan and rest i paid from my savings ..this month her course was supposed to finish but what i realize that she failed in 13 exams..she told me first time than i told her to not worry i concentrate for future one but she lied and failed in other one also what she disclosed now,i have to pay further 10 lacs..my business is alo down and my son is not selected my medical field business,i have to collect aprx 40 lacs from market ,i tried hard for tie up overtake or job at this age but kot getting...it is become hard to run business with no family member in same business in future and tonpay to daughter ..i am gojng to shut it down in next month and do something else...with low cost business as i have to pay monthly salaries and rent of aprox 2.5 lac...i am in big trouble...No one to help me out..i never tried my 0mother brother sister whom i helped in their every cause...i knew they will not help as they not helped me in all my troubles...
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear about the difficult circumstances you've faced in your life. It sounds like you've gone through a lot of challenges and have been dealing with various setbacks. It's understandable that you may feel overwhelmed and frustrated at this point.
In times of hardship, it's important to remember that there is always hope and the possibility of finding solutions. Here are a few suggestions to consider:

1. Seek Professional Help: Given the complexity of your situation and the emotional toll it has taken on you, it may be beneficial to seek professional support. Consider reaching out to a counselor, therapist, or support group to help you navigate through your challenges and emotions. They can provide guidance and assist you in developing coping strategies.
2. Financial Assistance: If you're struggling with loans and financial obligations, it might be worth exploring options for financial assistance. Consult with a financial advisor or research available schemes, grants, or loans that could potentially help you manage your debts and ease the financial burden.
3. Career Transition: As you mentioned, shutting down your current business and exploring other low-cost business options might be a viable solution. Assess your skills, interests, and market demand to identify alternative business opportunities that align with your capabilities and resources. Consider seeking advice from business mentors or professionals in your desired industry to help you make informed decisions.
4. Network and Support: While it may feel like you're alone, reach out to your social network for support. Friends, acquaintances, or industry professionals might have insights, connections, or opportunities that could be beneficial. Building a support system can provide emotional support and potentially open doors for new opportunities.
5. Prioritize Self-Care: In challenging times, taking care of yourself is crucial. Make sure to prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, relaxation, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones. Maintaining your physical and mental well-being will help you navigate through difficulties with a clearer mindset.
6. Maintain Resilience: Remember that setbacks are a part of life, and resilience is key. While it may feel overwhelming now, focus on developing a positive mindset and persevering through challenges. Draw on your past experiences of overcoming adversity to fuel your resilience and determination.

Finally, know that it's never too late to make a fresh start or seek new opportunities. It may take time, effort, and a shift in mindset, but with perseverance and resilience, you can work towards a better future. Reach out for help, explore available resources, and stay determined. Wishing you strength and the best of luck as you navigate through this difficult period.
(more)
Anu

Anu Krishna  |723 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2023Translate
Listen
Relationship
My age is 42 years now. I am an elder son in my family, then my sister and two younger brothers. My father was a clerk in state govt. office. Being an elder son I did all my duties at par with my father. I spent my entire 9 years’ salary on my family, it includes sister marriage, brothers education (Engineering/Polytechnic), their coaching for competitive exams, books other monthly expenses. Under my guidance they both got job. I also performed co-applicant to Education loan to one of my brother. But now my father, mother and brothers betrayed (Beyimaan). Because my younger brother’s wife was selected in state govt. job and my wife is not employed. They kicked off us from their house. All it happens like TV serial. Now my wife also get job in central government under my guidance. My family member also did same with my younger brother and kicked - off them also. Now they ask me to live with them. I am very much in stress. I want to totally detach with my family. I want to close my all relationships with them. I also don’t want my father’s property. But every now and then they call me. They never help me. We live in same city. Please help me out. I don’t want to be part of B. P. and Sugar patient. I want to be a Vinod Khanna dialogue Parva Nahi from film Dayavan.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Time for you to do things for yourself! It may seem selfish at the beginning but taking care of yourself and your needs is self-care above everything else...
For once put your needs before everyone else's and resist any sort of manipulation from family. Serving themselves was their agenda at your expense; why still allow it?
Firmly refuse moving in with them as it won't take them long before they kick you out when things are not in their favour. You have the ability to be by yourself and support yourself...maintaining a healthy distance in fact helps relationships grow stronger. So, time for you to be kind to yourself...

All the best!
(more)
Latest Questions
R P

R P Yadav  |210 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2024

Listen
Career
Dear sir,I am compulsory retired from psu, as a senior Manager still I am having 5 years For matured retirement. Is there any jobs available for me?
Ans: As a senior manager with significant experience and five years until mature retirement, you have valuable skills and expertise that can be applied to various job opportunities. Here are some potential avenues to explore:

Industry Consultancy: Consider offering consultancy services in your industry. Your extensive experience can be valuable to companies seeking expertise in areas such as operations management, strategic planning, or process optimization.

Freelancing or Contract Work: Explore opportunities for freelancing or contract work in your field. Many companies, especially startups or smaller businesses, may require temporary support for specific projects or initiatives.

Part-Time or Remote Work: Look for part-time or remote work opportunities that allow for flexibility and work-life balance. Many organizations offer remote positions for experienced professionals, including roles in project management, consulting, or advisory services.

Government or NGO Roles: Investigate opportunities in government agencies or non-governmental organizations (NGOs) where your experience and expertise can be beneficial. These organizations often have positions available in areas such as policy development, program management, or capacity building.

Teaching or Training: Consider sharing your knowledge and expertise by pursuing opportunities in teaching or training roles. Universities, colleges, training institutes, and corporate training departments may seek experienced professionals to teach courses or conduct workshops in your field.

Professional Associations and Networks: Join professional associations and networks related to your industry. These platforms can provide access to job opportunities, networking events, and professional development resources.

Entrepreneurship: Explore the possibility of starting your own business or venture based on your expertise and interests. Entrepreneurship allows you to leverage your experience to create innovative solutions or services within your industry.

Career Counseling and Coaching: With your extensive experience, you could consider a career in counseling or coaching, helping individuals navigate their career paths, develop skills, and achieve their professional goals.

Online Platforms: Utilize online job platforms, networking sites like LinkedIn, and specialized recruitment agencies to explore job opportunities tailored to your skills and experience.

Upskilling and Continuous Learning: Stay updated with industry trends, technologies, and best practices through continuous learning and upskilling. Investing in certifications, attending workshops, or pursuing advanced education can enhance your marketability and open doors to new opportunities.

Remember to tailor your job search approach to your interests, strengths, and career goals. Networking, maintaining a strong online presence, and staying proactive in your job search efforts can significantly increase your chances of finding fulfilling opportunities in your mature retirement phase.
(more)
R P

R P Yadav  |210 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2024

Listen
Career
i served education institute as approved Asso Professor. superannuated before 2 years but no gratuity is paid.what next?
Ans: If you have superannuated from an educational institute and have not received your gratuity even after two years, you should take the following steps:

Check Employment Contract or Policy:

Review your employment contract or the institute's policy to understand the terms and conditions regarding gratuity. It should outline the eligibility criteria and the process for payment.
Contact HR or Administration:

Reach out to the Human Resources (HR) department or administration of the educational institute. Inquire about the status of your gratuity and seek clarification on any delays.
Written Communication:

If verbal communication does not yield results, send a written communication (email or letter) to the HR department, clearly stating the issue, mentioning your superannuation date, and seeking information on the status of your gratuity.
Gather Documentation:

Ensure you have all the necessary documentation related to your employment, superannuation, and gratuity. This may include appointment letters, salary slips, and any other relevant records.
Legal Consultation:

If your attempts to resolve the issue internally are unsuccessful, consider seeking legal advice. Consult with a lawyer who specializes in labor or employment law to understand your rights and options.
Labor Department Complaint:

In some jurisdictions, labor departments or government authorities handle labor-related disputes. You may file a complaint with the appropriate labor department or ombudsman, providing details of the non-payment of gratuity.
Employee Welfare Associations:

If applicable, involve any employee welfare or union representatives who may assist in addressing the issue.
Mediation or Conciliation:

Some jurisdictions have mediation or conciliation services to resolve employment-related disputes. Explore these options as an alternative to legal action.
Legal Action:

If all else fails, you may need to consider legal action to claim your gratuity. Your lawyer can guide you on the appropriate legal steps to take in your jurisdiction.
It's crucial to act promptly and keep records of all communication related to the non-payment of gratuity. The specific steps and options available to you may vary depending on the labor laws in your country or region. Consulting with a legal professional familiar with local employment laws is advisable to ensure you take the most appropriate course of action.
(more)
R P

R P Yadav  |210 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Translate
Listen
Career
Presently I work as Asst VP in formulation R&D and my CTC is 72 lakhs. I have a total of 21 years experience post Ph.D degree. How does my salary compare to pharma industry standards? Is it in line with the industry trend or higher than average or lower?
Ans: Determining whether your salary is in line with industry standards can be influenced by various factors, including your role, responsibilities, the company's size, location, and overall market conditions. However, your current salary of 72 lakhs as an Assistant Vice President in Formulation R&D with 21 years of experience post-Ph.D. seems competitive and well above average for the pharmaceutical industry.

To get a more accurate benchmark, you might consider:

Industry Reports: Explore industry reports and salary surveys specific to the pharmaceutical sector. Organizations like Aon, Mercer, or local industry associations may publish such reports.

Networking: Connect with professionals in similar roles through industry events, LinkedIn, or professional organizations. Discussing compensation trends can provide valuable insights.

Consulting with HR: Speak with your company's HR department to understand how your compensation aligns with the company's salary structure and industry standards.

Job Portals: Check job portals for similar positions in your region to see the salary ranges offered by other companies for comparable roles.

Geographical Considerations: Keep in mind that salaries can vary significantly based on geographical locations. A salary that is competitive in one region may be considered high or low in another.

Market Demand: Assess the demand for professionals in your role. If there is a high demand for individuals with your skill set and experience, it could contribute to a higher salary.

Ultimately, while salary is an important factor, it's also crucial to consider other aspects of your compensation package, such as benefits, bonuses, and opportunities for career growth. If you feel satisfied with your overall package, including non-monetary benefits, and your compensation aligns with your responsibilities and the industry standards, then it's likely that your salary is competitive. If you have specific concerns, discussing them with your HR department or seeking advice from industry professionals can provide more tailored insights.
(more)
R P

R P Yadav  |210 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2024

Listen
Career
I am 84 but due to acute financial problems fcg even groceey problems looking for English to Hindi Translation job
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about your challenges. Finding an English to Hindi translation job can be challenging, but there are a few platforms where you can explore opportunities:

Freelance Platforms:

Websites like Upwork, Freelancer, and Fiverr often have translation projects. You can create a profile and bid on relevant jobs.
Translation Agencies:

Contact translation agencies and offer your services. Many agencies look for experienced translators for various language pairs.
Online Job Portals:

Keep an eye on job portals like Indeed or Naukri, where companies occasionally post translation-related job opportunities.
Language Learning Platforms:

Some language learning apps and websites may also require translation services. Check platforms like Duolingo, Babbel, or Rosetta Stone.
Community Centers:

Local community centers or language learning institutions might have occasional translation needs.
Online Volunteer Platforms:

Consider volunteering your translation services on platforms like Translators without Borders or UN Volunteers.
Networking:

Leverage your network. Inform friends, family, or acquaintances about your skills and let them know you are looking for translation opportunities.
Local Businesses:

Visit local businesses, especially those serving diverse communities, and inquire if they need translation services.
Government Programs:

Some government programs or NGOs may require translation services. Check with local offices or online platforms for opportunities.
Remember, persistence is key. It may take time to find opportunities, but by actively seeking and applying for jobs, you increase your chances of securing a position. Additionally, if you face financial difficulties, you may also want to explore local support services or community programs that could provide assistance. I hope you find a suitable opportunity soon.
(more)
R P

R P Yadav  |210 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Workspace Expert - Answered on Feb 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 23, 2024Translate
Listen
Career
What are best way to upskill as a student?
Ans: Upskilling as a student is a valuable investment in your future. Here are some effective ways to upskill:

Online Courses and Certifications:

Platforms like Coursera, edX, Udacity, and Khan Academy offer a wide range of courses on various subjects.
Consider certifications in areas relevant to your field of study or future career.
MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses):

Explore MOOCs from universities and institutions around the world.
They often provide high-quality content for free or at a minimal cost.
Specialized Training Platforms:

Platforms like LinkedIn Learning, Skillshare, and Pluralsight offer courses on specific skills and tools.
These platforms often have tutorials on software, programming languages, design tools, etc.
Internships and Co-op Programs:

Gain practical experience through internships or co-op programs related to your field of study.
Real-world experience can complement theoretical knowledge and enhance your skills.
Networking and Mentorship:

Connect with professionals in your industry through networking events, LinkedIn, or local meetups.
A mentor can provide guidance and share insights into the industry.
Project-Based Learning:

Work on real-world projects to apply your skills.
This hands-on experience can help you build a portfolio that showcases your abilities.
Join Student Organizations:

Participate in relevant clubs or organizations on your campus.
They often provide opportunities for skill development and networking.
Read Industry Publications and Blogs:

Stay updated on industry trends and innovations by reading blogs, journals, and articles.
Subscribe to newsletters or follow influencers in your field.
Soft Skills Development:

Focus on developing soft skills like communication, teamwork, time management, and adaptability.
These skills are crucial for professional success.
Attend Workshops and Conferences:

Attend workshops and conferences to learn from experts and connect with professionals.
These events can provide insights into the latest developments in your field.
Language Learning:

Learn additional languages, especially if they are relevant to your field or if you plan to work internationally.
Self-Assessment and Reflection:

Regularly assess your skills and identify areas for improvement.
Set goals for continuous learning and monitor your progress.
Remember, upskilling is a continuous process, and staying curious and adaptable will serve you well throughout your career. Tailor your upskilling efforts to align with your career goals and the demands of your chosen industry.
(more)
Shreya

Shreya Shah  |26 Answers  |Ask -

Nutritionist, Diabetes Educator - Answered on Feb 23, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x