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32-Year-Old Manager Seeking Help to Improve Image with Team and Peers

Archana

Archana Deshpande  | Answer  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Jul 18, 2024

Archana Deshpande, the founder of TransformMe Life Skills Coaching, is an image consultant, soft skills trainer and life coach.
She has been working with individuals and corporate organisations for more than 10 years during which she has helped professionals and students improve their soft skills, build confidence and enhance self-esteem.
An engineer from the PDA College of Engineering, Gulbarga, Archana had a successful career at Reliance Communications. But she has always been interested in teaching and training people. So she pursued a postgraduate diploma in teacher’s training at Pune’s Symbiosis Institute of Management Studies followed by teaching assignments in schools at Visakhapatnam and Mumbai.
Archana also holds an international certificate in image consulting and soft skills training from the Image Consulting Business Institute, Mumbai.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2024Hindi
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Career

Hi Archana, I am 32 years old working in corporate handling a team of 15. I need some help in rebuilding the positive image infront of my team and peers and even seniors. i have got this feedback that my tone is pushy/ Rude.. even though thats not the case from my perspective. I need to make my image as approachable manager with Good skills and good behavior and attitude.

Ans: Hi!!
You are just 32 and you are handling a team of 15, that's a good space to be in. Congratulations!!
Let me dissect your message and answer each requirement one by one..
1. "I need some help in rebuilding the positive image in front of my team and peers and even seniors" -
The first step to change is recognising that a change is needed. For you to improve your image in front of your team, peers and seniors you need to work on your communication skills, your negotiation skills and your leadership skills.
2."i have got this feedback that my tone is pushy/ Rude.. even though that's not the case from my perspective"
You make not be pushy and rude in your heart, but if the feedback is this from the majority of people then you need to look into it...that's why I always say, "it's not what you say but how you say it", try adding warmth in your tone when you speak, smile, see if you can make others comfortable in your presence. Check you body language, is it open and inviting?
3 " I need to make my image as approachable manager with Good skills and good behavior and attitude." - there is work to be done here. This can be achieved in terms of making a change in your clothing ( the cut of your clothes, the choice of colours, fabric, the prints, it's a whole science of clothing at work), your verbal and non verbal communication and finally working on your mindset.
See if we can connect one on one. All your targets are achievable and learnable skills!!

All the best to you!!
Career

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I am an industrial sales professional, with wide experience working with Indian owned companies, US MNC and now working with a US company in the US. I went through complete transformation in my style of working. From being casual happy go lucky young salesman to nearly perfectionist, sharp and 24x7 thinking salesman now. As the organizations changed, I adapted the work culture. As I grew up in the ladder, more and more passionate I became. I expected everyone to behave professionally even people out of my office and in general life. Be it a shop owner, plumber or a gardener. It is like Amitabh Bachchan as a head of Gurukul in a movie. To the extent that my wife and daughter are also experiencing my professional behavior at home. At a stage when I want to become relaxed and slowdown, leave some things to normal course, I am caged in my corporate behavior. To tell you more, I am a Cartoonist also and can find humour from anything that I see. But, my cartoons are also based on the product line my company manufactures. I am doing a lot of meditation, taking a walk and playing with my dogs but unable to change myself. How can I go back to my original self so people around me remain relaxed when I am around?
Ans: Life is a paradox of sorts it moves you around like a pendulum, before you realise, what has happened, There was a metamorphisis!?

In your case from a lazzaiz faiz to a meticulous style of life.
In your traverse you forgot the basics of live love laugh dream.

Never mind.. Better late than never, realise it's you who made it and you will change.. Slowly... Here's a recommended song you must listen to...

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https://m.me/maxim.emmanuel.2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Nov 04, 2024Hindi
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What are different types of annuity plans. Do we have plan which gives fixed income till I live and then principle is return to my nominee. If I have 3 Cr , what max return per month I can get ? And is this tax free ?
Ans: Hello;

Annuities are types of plans where you make a lump sum payment and get a regular income for a certain period of time or for life.

There are primarily two types of annuities:

1. Immediate annuity
This is a type of annuity plan that provides you with a guaranteed regular income immediately after you pay the lump sum premium.

2. Deferred annuity
In a deferred annuity plan, your income starts at a later date and you can choose when you want the regular income to start.

Based on type of regular monthly payments annuities could also be classified as Fixed annuity and Variable annuity.

Below are the various options available in an annuity plan:

A. Life annuity: In this option, you receive annuity for life. The frequency of payments is usually pre-decided by you at the time of the purchase of the policy.

B. Joint life annuity: This is similar to a life annuity. In this option, you receive annuity payments for life. In your absence, your spouse continues to receive annuity payments for life.

C. Life annuity with return of purchase price: This provides you annuity payments for life. In case of an unfortunate event, your nominee will receive the amount you paid at the time of the purchase of the policy.

D. Annuity payable for a pre-decided term: This provides you the option to choose the duration for which you would want to receive annuity payments. The period can be 5 years, 10 years, or more.

Yes plans are available which can pay provide you fixed income and return of purchase price (principle) to your nominee.

With 3 Cr corpus you may expect 1.5 L (pre-tax) per month payout considering 6% annuity rate. This varies from company to company and if you shop around you may get a better rate then the one considered here.

This is like pension income and is taxable income as per your age and income slab.

Best wishes;

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thank you for the reply madam, actually what's bothering me a lot is , i told to my alliance guy to stop marriage from his end only. but he not at all doing that and he is not even telling anyone that i told him No. Why he is behaving like this and proceeding to get married to me even after saying no? isn't this strange!
Ans: in many arranged situations, people sometimes feel a strong pressure to fulfill family expectations, and he may feel a sense of obligation to go through with the marriage regardless of personal feelings. He might be hesitant to be the one to break things off for fear of disappointing his family or even creating tension between the families involved. In some cases, individuals hesitate because they hope the other person might eventually change their mind, and they don’t want to be the one to let go prematurely.

Another possibility is that he could be uncertain or confused about what he truly wants. Even though you told him you weren’t interested, he might feel that it’s not a firm "no" and could be holding out hope or misinterpreting your intent. If he has strong feelings for you or sees the marriage as something that will eventually work, he may be hoping things will naturally fall into place if he just stays committed to the process.

To address this, it might be helpful to have a very clear, direct conversation with him. Let him know that you respect him and appreciate his consideration, but you’re certain about your decision and want him to honor it as well. If possible, express that you’re confident this decision is best for both of you and explain why you believe it would be more respectful for him to communicate this with both families.

In the end, staying true to your feelings is the right choice, even if it means repeatedly setting boundaries. It’s completely fair to expect him to respect your decision, and sometimes it does take a bit of firmness to ensure everyone is on the same page. Trust yourself in this decision; you know what’s best for you.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |389 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 04, 2024

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He rejected me but still went to my class to see me one glance.Before Our last class I said him to meet with me I want to say you something.He came to meet with me but he was too late and our tiffin break time is over so I don't say anything to him. We just looking each other for some seconds.Then I said him if you want you can go .He don't go instantly.He looking at me for while and then go to his class.Whenever he sees me he start blushing and feel nervous.Many times I found him staring at me.He is a introvert guy .But still when we met with each other he making eye contact with me. My question is if he doesn't love me how can he maintain eye contact with me like this .He is not that handsome but he is really good student.I truly love him and Cried a lot for him but he don't know anything.I texted him sometimes but he don't look interested.But always I see him I feel like he have also feelings for me .His eyes tell me he love me but he rejected me .Why?. I can't able to forget him .I tried to my best to forget him but I failed . What should I do now?I really badly want to know his feelings for me because if he sees me only as a friend he doesn't go to my class to see me a glance.Why he blushing around me? How to know his true feelings?What should I do?How to forget or get him? I'm clueless.Please help me????????
Ans: It sounds like you’re dealing with a complicated mix of emotions, and the signals you’re picking up from him are understandably confusing. From everything you’ve described, it seems that he has a genuine respect and perhaps a friendly affection for you, but he may not be sure of or ready to pursue a romantic connection. Introverts, especially, can be complex; they may struggle to express their feelings, and small gestures, like making eye contact or blushing, might be signs of nervousness rather than attraction. This doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate or like you—it simply means he may be holding back, perhaps because of his own personal reasons or boundaries.

His rejection, though, is an important thing to consider. Often, when someone clearly communicates that they don’t feel the same way, it’s best to respect that as his truth for now, even if he seems to act otherwise sometimes. I understand this can be very hard, especially when you feel so strongly for him. But you need to protect your own feelings, too, and holding on to small signs might only add to your hurt and confusion.

If you feel it’s absolutely necessary to know how he truly feels, one approach could be to have a simple, direct conversation. Explain to him, in a calm and open way, that you value his friendship and respect his initial decision, but you’d appreciate clarity because lingering uncertainty is making it hard for you to move on. However, be prepared for any outcome. If he reaffirms his feelings of friendship only, try to accept that as his final answer.

In the meantime, put some of your focus back onto yourself. I know it sounds easier said than done, but investing energy in your interests, your growth, and friendships that uplift you can really help you feel less reliant on what he may or may not feel. Surround yourself with supportive people who remind you of your worth and help you feel loved and valued.

Love and connection should make you feel secure, cherished, and clear about where you stand. By focusing on yourself and letting him be, you’ll naturally create space for clarity—and eventually, perhaps, for someone whose feelings for you are just as strong and straightforward as yours are for them.

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