Hi Sir, I have 20 years experience as a ETL technical lead, and since i am very good with attention to detail, i kind of stuck with this tech lead role for too long now. My salary is stuck at 15 lakhs and with 20 years experience and the technologies that keep changing, finding job is getting difficult. Even after learning new technologies, i am repeatedly being put in same old legacy stuff and also for my experience, they expect more from me which i am not able to answer due to my under exposure . I should have been atleast a senior architect now. But technology is becoming a hard nut to chew on these days. i am also inclined towards program manager kind of job but then since i have been in technology for 20 yrs now, if i have to start as a manager it will take a whole lot of time and effort to reach program manager role. Also, if all i have to concentrate is on becoming a program manager then i feel that this 20 yrs of experience may go waste..and maybe i repent that i should have started early in my career and should have taken a project manager role so that by now i would have become a program manager...i am so lost and inspite of being so senior i am not able to make decisions nor do i have clarity on what i want...

Ans: Hi Ismah

From the 8th standard, you can join foundation classes for the preparation of NEET classes. If not possible, no need to worry. You can also start preparation from the 11th. With full 2-year preparation (11th and 12th), you can crack the NEET.

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Ans: HI Arun

You have three choices (1) Amrita Engineering Coimbatore (2) Amrita Engineering Faridabad and (3) Manipal.

Suggestion: Manipal MIT has an edge regarding global exposure and infrastructure. All are top institutions, but Manipal offers more global exposure, while Amrita focuses on research and ethics.

Please decide as per your convenience, and distance. Please compare the fee structure of all the institutions.

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Ans: Hi.
The question is not asked properly. Hence unable to guide you.
If possible, please ask in detail.

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Ans: Hi Divit
You made a good choice with ECE at IIIT Naya (i.e. New) Raipur because:

1) ECE has wider career opportunities in the tech and IT sectors.
2) IIITs specialize in electronics and computing.
3) ECE offers flexibility to transition into IT roles, which are in demand.

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Radheshyam

Ans: Hi Divit
You made a good choice with ECE at IIIT Naya (i.e. New) Raipur because:

1) ECE has wider career opportunities in the tech and IT sectors.
2) IIITs specialize in electronics and computing.
3) ECE offers flexibility to transition into IT roles, which are in demand.

If you are dissatisfied with the reply, please ask again without hesitation.
If satisfied, please like and follow me.
Thanks.

Radheshyam

Ans: To reach a corpus of Rs 1 crore in 10 years, you will need to invest in funds that generate around 10-12 per cent annual returns. Your current portfolio is diversified across small-cap, mid-cap, digital, and active funds, which can work well but also carries some volatility, especially in sectoral and small-cap/mid-cap funds.

Portfolio Review:

• Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund: Good for aggressive growth but highly volatile. Keep it if you're comfortable with higher risk.
• PGIM Mid Cap Opportunities Fund: Another growth-oriented fund with decent potential. It's good to have some exposure to mid-caps.
• Tata Digital Fund: Sectoral funds are risky because they are dependent on the sector's performance. Digital/technology funds can be volatile; consider reducing exposure here.
• Quant Active Fund: A multi-cap approach with flexibility across market caps. This fund provides balance and is good for diversification.

Suggestions:

• Increase Allocation to Large Cap/Index Funds: You may want to balance your portfolio with a large-cap or index fund like UTI Nifty 50 or Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund. Large-cap funds provide stability and reduce overall portfolio volatility.
• Reduce Sector-Specific Exposure: Consider trimming your allocation to Tata Digital Fund, as sectoral funds can face prolonged underperformance during sector downturns. You can reallocate this to a more diversified fund.
• Balanced Fund: Add a balanced or hybrid fund like HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund or ICICI Prudential Balanced Advantage Fund for better risk management while maintaining growth potential.
• Debt Component: To hedge against equity risk, consider adding a small portion to a short-term debt fund or gilt fund, which can provide stability during volatile periods.

Suggested Structure After Increase:

• Canara Robeco Small Cap Fund: Rs 6,000
• PGIM Mid Cap Opportunities Fund: Rs 6,000
• Quant Active Fund: Rs 6,000
• Mirae Asset Large Cap Fund: Rs 6,000
• HDFC Balanced Advantage Fund: Rs 6,000
• ICICI Prudential Multi Asset Fund: Rs 5,000
• UTI Nifty 50 Index Fund: Rs 5,000

This adjusted allocation will maintain growth potential while providing a cushion against volatility.

Ans: It’s really commendable that you're seeking ways to improve communication with your daughters, especially when it comes to handling mistakes or weaknesses. The goal you're aiming for—creating a supportive environment where they feel safe to share their challenges—is a key part of nurturing a healthy and open relationship.

When addressing their mistakes, it’s important to remember that how they interpret your feedback can shape how they see themselves and their ability to handle difficulties. You want them to feel like they’re not being judged or criticized but instead being guided towards growth. One way to start is by focusing on empathy in your conversations. When they make a mistake, it’s natural to want to correct it quickly, but it can be more productive to begin by acknowledging how they might feel. This lets them know that you understand their experience, and that mistakes are part of life and learning. It shifts the focus from the mistake itself to their emotions, which builds trust.

Another aspect is how you frame the conversation. Instead of honing in on what went wrong, it’s helpful to highlight the effort they put in and the process they went through, even if the outcome wasn’t perfect. Letting them know that their effort is noticed and appreciated can boost their confidence. When they feel that their hard work is valued, they’re more likely to discuss their challenges openly, rather than feeling like they failed. If they feel supported during these moments, they will be more inclined to seek your guidance in the future without fearing a negative response.

Listening is another vital tool. When they make a mistake, resist the urge to immediately jump in with advice or corrections. Instead, ask them how they feel about what happened or what they think they could do differently next time. This not only gives them ownership of their problem-solving but also empowers them to reflect and learn from their experiences. Sometimes, when children are given the space to voice their thoughts, they can surprise you with their insights. And even if they don’t have an answer right away, they’ll appreciate being part of the conversation rather than being lectured.

It’s also important to be patient with progress. Instead of expecting a big shift in behavior or attitude overnight, focus on the small steps they take. Recognizing these smaller victories can go a long way in motivating them to keep improving, even when they stumble. They need to see that progress is more important than perfection, and your role is to guide them through the ups and downs without focusing too much on the final result.

Finally, your own approach to challenges and mistakes plays a big role in shaping how they will handle their own. When they see you approach difficulties with a positive mindset—whether it's a work challenge or a personal frustration—they’re learning that setbacks don’t define them. Modeling this kind of attitude will encourage them to talk about their own struggles more openly and with less fear of judgment.

In essence, the goal is to build trust and maintain a positive tone, even when discussing difficult topics. With this approach, your daughters will not only feel comfortable coming to you but will also develop a stronger sense of resilience in facing their own challenges. You’ll find that as they feel more supported, their confidence in addressing their weaknesses will naturally grow.

Ans: One of the things that might be happening here is that your daughter is at an age where identity and confidence issues often come to the forefront. At 13, she’s navigating a lot—social pressures, changing emotions, and maybe even a fear of not being able to meet the expectations of her parents, peers, or even herself. The fact that she stopped participating in music competitions after facing stiff competition might indicate she’s dealing with fear of failure or rejection. It’s not that she doesn’t care, but more that she may be afraid of not being good enough, and in response, she avoids trying at all.

Instead of pushing her to excel, the first step might be to understand what’s going on emotionally. Teenagers are notorious for shutting down or rebelling when they feel pressure, even if it’s unintentional. Try creating an environment where she feels safe to open up without fear of judgment or comparison to others. Sit down with her and have an open, calm conversation where you genuinely listen to her side. She might not know how to express her frustrations or fears, but giving her the space to talk could help her feel supported instead of criticized.

I understand your concern about her spending hours on YouTube or watching reels. This can be both a form of escapism and a way for her to feel connected to her peers. Rather than banning or limiting screen time strictly, which could create more conflict, try to understand what she’s watching and why she’s so drawn to it. Maybe this can lead to finding a common ground or encouraging her to pursue interests related to what she enjoys online, without the pressure of competition.

It’s also possible she’s feeling the weight of expectations, even if you don’t consciously put them on her. Sometimes just knowing that her parents were high achievers can make her feel like she’s falling short. Helping her feel that it’s okay not to have everything figured out yet might ease some of the pressure.

You’re also right to be concerned about her influence on your younger son. His more disciplined nature may make him vulnerable to picking up some of her habits. But rather than positioning them as opposites, encourage them both to find balance—showing her that discipline and effort don’t have to come with the weight of pressure might help her change her behavior, too.

The arguments with your wife and the escalation at home are clearly a sign that things are reaching a boiling point, but remember that this doesn’t mean she’s unreachable. This is a tough stage, but with patience, empathy, and a bit of flexibility in your approach, it’s possible to guide her without feeling like you’re losing control of the situation.

Ans: First, regarding your mother, it’s crucial to establish boundaries. Her mental health struggles are serious, but they shouldn’t be allowed to overshadow your own well-being. It might be helpful to seek professional support for her, such as counseling or therapy. If she’s unwilling, then finding ways to distance yourself emotionally from her criticism is key. It's not easy, but learning not to absorb her negativity can help protect your mental health. You might also consider speaking to a counselor yourself to help you process these feelings and find strategies for coping with her behavior without having to completely sever ties.

As for your work situation, it sounds like the toxic environment is wearing you down. If leaving isn’t an immediate option, try to find small ways to shield yourself from the negativity. Can you limit your interactions with your senior or find ways to compartmentalize work stress so it doesn’t bleed into your personal life? Sometimes, focusing on things outside of work—hobbies, time with your wife and son—can provide a needed escape.

It sounds like you're craving solitude and peace, and while leaving both your mother and your job might seem like a solution, it may not be the only one. Start with small, manageable changes: establishing firmer boundaries with your mother, finding a counselor to talk to, and protecting your emotional space at work. These steps can help you regain control and give you the peace you're seeking without drastic decisions. Remember, you deserve that peace, and it’s possible to find it with the right support.