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विशेषज्ञ की सलाह चाहिए?हमारे गुरु मदद कर सकते हैं

अपमानजनक रिश्ते में फंसकर: मैं अपने सपनों को कैसे पूरा कर सकती हूं?

Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |40 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Mar 03, 2025

Dr Upneet Kaur is a medical professional and therapist based out of Amritsar.
After completing her bachelor’s degree in Ayurvedic medicine and surgery from the SKSS Ayurvedic College and Hospital, Sarabha, Punjab, in 2008, she worked as a medical officer at various multi-specialty hospitals in Punjab, handling both physical and mental patient care and clinical decision-making. She spent the next decade leading multidisciplinary teams at various levels.
Since 2022, she has been practising as a clinical psychologist and marriage counsellor.
Dr Upneet also holds an MBA in hospital management from Alagappa University, Tamil Nadu, and an MA in psychology from the Indira Gandhi National Open University.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2025English
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मैं (32) पति (41) और बेटी (12) के साथ अपमानजनक रिश्ते में हूँ, दोनों ने डिप्लोमा कर लिया है.. अब मैं अपनी डिग्री (बी.कॉम) भी करने की कोशिश कर रही हूँ.. मैं आर्थिक रूप से स्वतंत्र नहीं हूँ.. मेरे पास दोस्तों, परिवार और माता-पिता सहित किसी का भी समर्थन नहीं है.. मैं उदास हूँ, मैं अपनी डिग्री करना चाहती हूँ.. लेकिन घर में विषाक्त वातावरण के कारण पूरी नहीं कर पा रही हूँ.. मैं अपनी मदद कैसे कर सकती हूँ?

Ans: नमस्ते मैम,
मुझे आपकी समस्या को विस्तार से समझने की आवश्यकता है। कृपया मुझे बताएं कि आपके घर में किस तरह का विषाक्त वातावरण है और आपको अपनी डिग्री पूरी करने में किन कठिनाइयों का सामना करना पड़ रहा है?
आपके उत्तर की प्रतीक्षा में
सादर

आप नीचे ऐसेही प्रश्न और उत्तर देखना पसंद कर सकते हैं

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 27, 2022

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हाय अनु, </strong><br /><strong>मैं अपनी भावनाएं व्यक्त करने के लिए यहां हूं। मैं 23 साल का हूँ, आईटी में काम करता हूँ। न सिर्फ अभी, बल्कि बचपन में भी मैं कभी भी पढ़ाई की ओर उन्मुख व्यक्ति नहीं रहा हूं। <br />मुझे कभी नहीं पता था कि इसका मेरे जीवन पर इस तरह प्रभाव पड़ेगा। मैं हूँ। अपनी नौकरी से खुश नहीं हूं. मैं इसके प्रति जुनूनी नहीं हूं. <br />स्पष्ट रूप से मैं अच्छा प्रदर्शन नहीं कर रहा हूँ। न ही मैं कोशिश कर रहा हूं. काफी समय हो गया है जब से मुझे ऐसा महसूस हुआ है कि चीजें मेरे नियंत्रण में हैं। अभी मैं अपने आप पर, अपनी भावनाओं पर, अपने विचारों पर, अपनी मस्तिष्क प्रक्रिया पर नियंत्रण नहीं रख सकता। <br />लॉकडाउन शुरू होने के बाद मैंने वह सब कुछ खो दिया जो मेरे पास बचा था। जीवन में जो कुछ हो रहा है उससे खुश हुए मुझे बहुत लंबा समय हो गया है। मुझे नहीं पता क्या करना है। ब्रेकअप के कारण मैं 3 साल तक डिप्रेशन में थी। मुझे लगता है कि उस व्यक्ति से मुलाकात ने मेरी जिंदगी उलट-पुलट कर दी। इसका मुझ पर बहुत बुरा प्रभाव पड़ा. <br />वह एक आत्ममुग्ध व्यक्ति था। मुझे लगता है, जिसने आज ऐसा बना दिया है। <br />मेरे नियंत्रण में कुछ भी नहीं है, मुझे नहीं पता कि मैं अपने जीवन में चीजों को सही कर पाऊंगा या नहीं, क्या मैं फिर कभी बेहतर हो पाऊंगा। मेरे अंदर बहुत अधिक भ्रम, भय, दर्द और उदासी है। मैं वर्षों से एक ही स्थान पर फंसा हुआ हूं। मुझे कुछ भी करने का भरोसा नहीं है. मुझे खुद पर विश्वास नहीं है, मैं खुद से अच्छे तरीके से बात नहीं कर पाता। <br />अगर आज मेरे साथ कुछ गलत होता है, तो मैं इसे स्वीकार करता हूं। मुझमें किसी भी चीज़ के ख़िलाफ़ या उसके लिए लड़ने की ताकत नहीं है। मैं खोखला महसूस करता हूं। <br />मुझे ऐसा लगता है जैसे मेरे अंदर कुछ भी नहीं बचा है। मुझे ऐसा लगता है कि मैं अपने जीवन को बेहतर बनाने के लिए कुछ नहीं कर सकता। <br />मेरे परिवार के लिए इसे सही बनाने का समाधान खुद को मारना है। क्योंकि मुझे आशा नजर नहीं आती. भले ही मेरे सपने हैं, लेकिन मुझे खुद पर विश्वास नहीं है कि मैं उन्हें पूरा कर पाऊंगा। क्योंकि मुझमें जीवन की चमक नहीं है। मेरे अंदर सब कुछ मर चुका है। मुझे नहीं पता कि क्या करना है. मैं यह भी नहीं जानता कि आप मेरी मदद कर पाएंगे या नहीं। लेकिन मैं खुद से निपट नहीं पा रहा हूं. मुझे खुद पर दया आती है. मुझे अपने आप पर घृणा है।</strong></p>
Ans: <p>प्रिय एस,</p> <p>यह ऐसा है जैसे अस्थिर रहना जीवन का एक तरीका बन गया है। और आप इस बात से अवगत नहीं हुए हैं कि आप जिस अनिश्चितता के साथ जी रहे हैं वह ज्यादातर स्व-निर्मित है।</p> <p>आप इसे शिक्षाविदों, काम, रिश्तों के साथ देख रहे हैं। यह एक पैटर्न है जिसे तोड़ा जाना चाहिए, बशर्ते आप अपने जीवन में व्यापक बदलाव देखना चाहते हों।</p> <p>अपने आप से पूछें:</p> <p>1. मैं जीवन से क्या चाहता हूँ?<br />2. मैं पेशेवर क्षेत्र में खुद को कहां देखता हूं?<br />3. मैं किसी रिश्ते/साझेदार से क्या चाहता हूँ?</p> <p>अब, जांचें कि क्या आपके विचार और व्यवहार आपकी इच्छा के अनुरूप हैं।</p> <p>उदाहरण के लिए: यदि आप वजन कम करने के बारे में सोच रहे हैं, यदि आपका व्यवहार व्यायाम नहीं करने और आधी रात के नाश्ते के लिए पहुंचने का है, तो आपको वह कभी नहीं मिलेगा जो आप चाहते हैं।</p> <p>इसलिए, यदि आप अधिक निश्चित महसूस करना चाहते हैं और अपने जीवन में एक निश्चित स्तर की खुशहाली और पकड़ चाहते हैं, तो आपको किसी प्रकार की फुलप्रूफ योजना बनानी होगी और उस पर कायम रहना होगा।</p> <p>यदि आप शिक्षा में बहुत अच्छे नहीं हैं, तो निश्चित रूप से आप अभी भी अपने कार्यस्थल में अपना सर्वश्रेष्ठ प्रदर्शन कर सकते हैं और अधिक पहल कर सकते हैं और सोच सकते हैं कि वहां कैसे आगे बढ़ना है।</p> <p>रिश्तों के साथ, अपने आप से पूछना शुरू करें कि मैं अपने साथी के लिए मूल्य कैसे जोड़ सकता हूं?</p> <p>अब समय आ गया है कि आप अपनी पसंद और उसके परिणामों की जिम्मेदारी लें। इसलिए, यदि आप परिणामों में बड़े पैमाने पर बदलाव चाहते हैं, तो अपने सोचने और काम करने के तरीके को बदलें।</p> <p>क्या मैं यहां आपसे संपर्क कर रहा हूं?</p> <p>कुछ भी मृत नहीं है; आपको बस खुद को कुछ अलग सोचने और करने के लिए प्रेरित करना होगा।</p> <p>तो, आत्म-दया आपको कहीं नहीं ले जाएगी।</p> <p>यदि वह आत्ममुग्ध होता, तो अच्छी चीजें काम नहीं करतीं और अपने जीवन के कहीं नहीं जाने के लिए और अधिक बहाने बनाने के बजाय आगे बढ़ने का समय आ जाता।</p> <p>क्या अब आप जानते हैं कि आपको क्या करना चाहिए? बस कदम बढ़ाएँ!</p> <p>शुभकामनाएं!</p>

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1612 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 10, 2024English
Relationship
नमस्ते मैम, मैं 3 महीने तक एक लड़के के साथ रिलेशनशिप में थी, वह अशिक्षित था, लेकिन मैं एस.ई. हूँ। शुरू में सब ठीक था, लेकिन बाद में उसने कहना शुरू कर दिया कि तुम्हें दूसरे लड़कों से बात नहीं करनी चाहिए, तुम्हें वहाँ नहीं जाना चाहिए, तुम्हें इस तरह के कपड़े नहीं पहनने चाहिए, मैं तुम्हारा पति हूँ, इसलिए तुम्हें मेरी बात माननी चाहिए, मैं जो भी कहूँ, तुम्हें वैसा ही करना चाहिए, जैसा उसने शुरू किया। फिर उसने बहुत सारे बुरे शब्दों के साथ मेरा मानसिक शोषण करना शुरू कर दिया और उसने मुझे दो बार थप्पड़ मारे। इसलिए मैंने फैसला किया कि मैं इस रिश्ते में नहीं रहना चाहती, इसलिए मैंने उससे कहा। फिर उसने कुछ लोगों को मेरे पीछे लगा दिया कि वे जाँच करें कि मैं क्या कर रही हूँ, जहाँ से मुझे ये सारी जानकारी मिल जाएगी। और फिर उसने कहा कि मैं हम दोनों को तुम्हारे परिवार को दिखा दूँगा, मैं तुम्हें मार डालूँगा, उसने ऐसा करना शुरू कर दिया। अब लगभग 2 साल हो गए हैं मैं अपना जीवन जी रही हूं लेकिन कभी-कभी वह मुझे फोन करता है और मुझे धमकाता है मुझे नहीं पता कि क्या करना है, इससे कैसे उबरना है मैं अपने परिवार को नहीं बता सकती मैं उदास हूं क्या आप कृपया मुझे बता सकते हैं कि मुझे क्या करना है
Ans: प्रिय अनाम,
क्या आप विवाहित हैं? क्योंकि उसने कहा कि वह आपका पति है...मैं उलझन में हूँ...

वैसे भी, नहीं, उसे आपको इस तरह से नियंत्रित करने का कोई अधिकार नहीं है...भावनात्मक और शारीरिक शोषण सख्त वर्जित है...
अपने परिवार को बताएं और अभी ऐसा करें!!!!!!!
ऐसा लगता है कि यह आदमी हिंसक तरीके से काम कर रहा है और आपकी सुरक्षा को लेकर ज़्यादा चिंता होनी चाहिए...पहले 2 थप्पड़ मारे, फिर उसके बाद? जब आपने इसका विरोध नहीं किया, तो उसे बस यह संदेश मिल गया कि हिंसा आपके लिए ठीक है...
नहीं, यह ठीक नहीं है, है न? और इसीलिए आपने इस प्लेटफ़ॉर्म पर लिखा...

अपने लिए सही काम करें...पहले इस व्यक्ति से खुद को सुरक्षित रखें! आपको जान से मारने की धमकियों से खतरे की घंटी नहीं बजी? आप अभी भी उसे इतनी आसानी से क्यों छोड़ रही हैं? यह प्यार नहीं है...वह आपके लिए बस एक परिचित व्यक्ति है।
परिचित होने का मतलब सुरक्षा नहीं है!!!!!! (इसे फिर से पढ़ें)...

अपने परिवार को शामिल करें और उसे बताएं कि आप अकेली नहीं हैं; वह यह जानकर अपनी धमकियाँ देना बंद कर देगा कि आप उसके द्वारा की जा रही बकवास का जवाब देंगी! अपने परिवार से बात करें...

शुभकामनाएँ!

प्रिय अनाम,

नहीं, शादी में उम्र इतनी महत्वपूर्ण नहीं है; लेकिन अगर यह महत्वपूर्ण नहीं है, तो आपने अपनी वास्तविक उम्र के तथ्य को क्यों छिपाया? आपने इसे छिपाने के लिए इसे इतना महत्व दिया है, है न?

और झूठ या किसी छिपे हुए तथ्य पर आधारित कोई भी रिश्ता नुकसान पहुँचा सकता है...

मुझे लगता है कि एकमात्र तरीका यह है कि आप काउंसलर के साथ काम करें और अपने पति से भी अपील करें। उसे बताएं कि आपके बच्चे को दोनों माता-पिता के प्यार की ज़रूरत है। सुनें कि वह क्या कहना चाहता है...और हाँ, वह बार-बार उम्र के मुद्दे को उठाएगा...यह कुछ ऐसा है जिससे वह धोखा महसूस करता है...इसलिए, इसका सम्मान करें...जैसा कि मैंने कहा, माफ़ी माँगें जैसे कि आप वास्तव में ऐसा चाहते हैं...

और ओह, आप इस बारे में इतनी परेशान क्यों हैं कि वह अपने जीवन में अन्य महिलाओं के साथ कैसा व्यवहार करेगा? बस अपने जीवन और अपनी शादी पर ध्यान दें...

शुभकामनाएँ!

अनु कृष्णा
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मुझसे संपर्क करें: फेसबुक: anukrish07/ और लिंक्डइन: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5584 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on May 28, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 27, 2025
Career
Hi everyone..I am Poornima kashyap currently studying in class 12. I am a humanities student with subjects- english, political science, maths, economics and psychology. I have developed anxiety because of my toxic family and i am not able to concentrate at all. I have no space to study. Earlier i wanted to pursue a career in psychology but now as i am studying it i am realising that it is not my cup of tea. I have no hopes about my life and future. I always had and still have a passion for travelling and want to get rid of this toxic family and house. Please somebody enlighten me or it will be difficult for me to even survive without a goal
Ans: Poornima, your struggles with anxiety and a toxic family environment are real and challenging, but you are not alone. Many students feel lost or hopeless in such situations. It’s important to reach out for help—school counselors, teachers, or mental health professionals can offer guidance and coping strategies, even if family support is lacking. Academically, your humanities background with maths and economics opens diverse career paths. Since you have a passion for travel and want independence, consider courses in hospitality and tourism management, travel journalism, international relations, or foreign languages. These fields can lead to careers that involve travel and personal growth. Look for scholarships or entrance exams that allow you to study away from home, giving you both space and new opportunities. Online courses and internships can also help you develop skills and confidence. Remember, your current circumstances do not dictate your future. Set small, achievable goals—such as preparing for college applications or learning new skills—that move you toward independence. Stay connected with supportive people, whether friends, teachers, or online communities. You have the resilience to overcome your current challenges and create a fulfilling, independent life. Take one step at a time, and don’t hesitate to seek help when needed.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5584 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 30, 2025
Career
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8626 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2025
Money
Dear sir, i have mistakenly paid full amount and closed my laon but now i dont have any koney to pay my other EMI and the NBFC is refusing to refund the payment since its showing loan closed at their end. What shall i do.
Ans: I understand you are under stress. Let us take one step at a time and resolve this in a practical, responsible way.

1. Understand the Situation Fully
You had multiple EMIs to manage.

By mistake, you paid off one loan in full.

Now, you have no money left for other EMIs.

The NBFC where you made the full payment is not refunding the extra amount.

They are saying the loan is marked as "closed" in their system.

This needs a calm and systematic resolution. There are still a few strong options left.

2. Immediate Steps You Can Take Today
Check if the extra payment is clearly visible in your account.
– Go through your payment proof and NBFC loan account statement.
– If the payment went above what was due, you have a valid case.

Visit or speak to the NBFC branch again.
– Show them the extra payment record.
– Politely explain this was a mistake.

Request refund under "excess payment" grounds.
– If the loan was closed early due to overpayment, NBFC may still refund surplus.
– Submit a written request for refund and get an acknowledgment.

Check their grievance redressal mechanism.
– Every NBFC has a nodal officer or escalation contact.
– If the branch does not help, write to higher authority.

Send a written complaint by email or registered post.
– Clearly mention loan number, payment date, and your request.
– Keep a copy for yourself.

3. Escalate the Matter if No Response in 7 Working Days
File a complaint on the NBFC’s website (grievance section).

After that, go to the RBI’s CMS (Complaint Management System):
– https://cms.rbi.org.in

You can file a complaint if:
– Your loan account was overpaid.
– You requested refund.
– NBFC has not responded in time.

RBI’s system allows complaint against NBFCs and banks.

4. What to Do About Your Other EMIs Now
Inform other lenders before default.
– Call or write to other lenders.
– Explain the situation in brief.
– Request for short-term deferment or one-month moratorium.

Lenders may allow one missed EMI without penalty if you have a good repayment record.
– Ask them to reschedule EMI or shift the due date.

If delay is certain, request a 3-month EMI break with written communication.
– This avoids legal notices or credit score impact.

5. If Situation Becomes Too Tight
Ask for support from your employer if possible.
– Request for salary advance or short-term loan.
– Even a Rs. 50,000 support can help you meet urgent EMI.

Check if any FD, gold, or savings can be used.
– Gold loans are cheaper and quicker to process.
– Only do this for urgent EMI dues, not for regular lifestyle.

6. Plan Forward to Avoid This in Future
Use auto debit or standing instruction for loans.
– Manual payments often lead to errors or missed payments.

Always keep 1 month EMI buffer in your account.
– This avoids sudden cash gaps.

Use a loan tracker sheet to monitor all your EMIs monthly.
– A simple Excel sheet or app can help.

Set SMS alerts or reminders for each EMI due date.

Don’t pay loan closure amount without checking final settlement letter.
– Ask for loan closure quote from NBFC before making full payment.

7. You May Still Recover the Overpaid Amount
If excess money is paid beyond the loan balance, it is refundable.

NBFC must account for it.

Even if the system says "closed", your transaction can be traced.

You must push this through their grievance officer and escalate if needed.

Stay polite but firm in all communication.

Finally
You made a mistake — but it can be corrected.

Don't panic. Don’t miss all EMIs without trying alternatives.

Take control of the situation through records and clear requests.

Reach out to RBI CMS if NBFC does not respond.

Meanwhile, protect your credit score by speaking to other lenders in time.

It’s a short-term setback, not a permanent problem.

This will pass. Just keep calm and act step by step.

You’re doing the right thing by asking for help and acting early.

?
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8626 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2025
Money
Hello Sir I am 40 with 150 cr in assets (5% liquid, rest real estate) and 10 lac monthly income from business. Have 1 daughter who is 6, when should i retire and how should i plan ahead financially. What should/could be my spending pattern ? I live pretty modestly as of now. My expenses are 1.5 lac/month ( including school fee and car emi) Thanks
Ans: You have built a strong foundation.

Rs. 150 crore in assets at age 40 is a big milestone.

Rs. 10 lakh monthly income from business is a very good cash flow.

Your modest monthly expense of Rs. 1.5 lakh is very reasonable.

Your money habits show discipline, simplicity, and clarity.

You are well-positioned to grow further with a proper structure.

Let’s plan ahead in a complete, 360-degree manner.

We will now look at each area of your financial life.

1. Understanding Your Current Financial Strength

You own assets worth Rs. 150 crore.

95% of it is in real estate, only 5% is liquid.

You earn Rs. 10 lakh monthly through business.

Your spending is Rs. 1.5 lakh per month.

You have a daughter who is 6 years old.

Your car loan EMI is included in your current expenses.

This is a strong position, but not yet balanced.

2. Maintain a Balance Between Liquid and Non-Liquid Assets

Your current portfolio is heavy in real estate.

Real estate is illiquid. It takes time to sell.

It is also difficult to generate regular cash flow from property.

Future maintenance costs and taxes reduce net gains.

Aim to increase your liquid asset share gradually.

At least 20%-30% of your wealth should be in liquid form.

That helps during emergencies or new opportunities.

Do this in a phased manner over 3 to 5 years.

3. Create a Strong Emergency Reserve

You may not need an emergency fund for daily needs.

But business income can fluctuate sometimes.

Unexpected health or family emergencies may arise.

Set aside at least Rs. 25–30 lakh in liquid form.

Use short-term debt mutual funds or savings instruments.

This should not be touched for investing or spending.

Review the emergency fund every year and top it up.

4. Fix a Personal Budget Framework

Income is Rs. 10 lakh per month.

Spending is Rs. 1.5 lakh per month.

That’s just 15% of your income, which is great.

Keep lifestyle inflation under 5% per year.

Avoid sudden jumps in spending even if income rises.

Save and invest at least 50% of your income every month.

This helps you reach bigger goals comfortably.

5. Education Plan for Your Daughter

Your daughter is just 6 years old now.

Higher education may cost Rs. 1–2 crore in 12–15 years.

Start a separate investment plan only for her.

Use mutual funds for long-term compounding.

A mix of large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds can help.

Invest systematically every month towards her goal.

Track progress every year and adjust as needed.

6. Plan Your Own Retirement Early

You are financially free already.

You can choose to retire anytime after 50.

You may continue business if it brings joy.

Or retire early and do something meaningful.

Retirement is not about stopping work but choosing freedom.

Estimate your retirement lifestyle cost in today’s value.

Multiply by expected years in retirement.

Plan your corpus accordingly with growth-oriented funds.

Keep reviewing this every two years.

7. Shift From Real Estate to Financial Assets Gradually

Real estate doesn’t give regular income easily.

Capital growth is also very slow and uncertain now.

Selling real estate is difficult and slow.

Start liquidating less-used real estate in phases.

Don’t sell all at once, spread it over years.

Reinvest proceeds in mutual funds and bonds.

That creates regular income and better flexibility.

8. Maintain a Simple Core Portfolio

Focus more on high-quality actively managed mutual funds.

Direct funds may look cheaper, but no expert support.

Regular funds through a Certified Financial Planner give full guidance.

MFDs with CFP credentials give constant monitoring and support.

Active funds can beat inflation and market returns better.

Avoid index funds as they only match the market.

Index funds don’t protect during market falls.

Actively managed funds can rebalance and reduce losses.

Choose fund categories based on your goals.

Use SIPs and lumpsum in a balanced way.

9. Tax-Efficient Strategies for Your Income and Investments

Your income will attract higher income tax.

You can split income across family members through smart planning.

Invest in tax-efficient instruments.

Avoid too much FD interest in your own name.

Use mutual funds for long-term tax efficiency.

LTCG from equity funds above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your slab.

So asset choice impacts your tax outgo.

10. Have a Health and Life Cover in Place

You are young, but health risks can appear anytime.

Get a comprehensive family floater health cover.

Add top-up or super-top-up for large expenses.

Take a simple term life cover if any financial dependents.

ULIPs or investment-based insurance plans are not useful.

If already holding such plans, consider surrendering.

Reinvest the proceeds into mutual funds for better growth.

11. Secure Your Estate and Create a Will

You own multiple large assets.

Legal clarity is very important.

Prepare a clear will with proper asset distribution.

Avoid confusion and future disputes.

If assets are very large or complex, set up a trust.

Review your estate plan every 5 years.

Keep nominee names updated across all investments.

12. Plan for Lifestyle Inflation and Business Risk

Expenses today are low. But they will rise slowly.

Factor in lifestyle upgrades, child needs, and inflation.

Business income can be uncertain in the long term.

Start preparing for a passive income portfolio now.

Allocate part of business profits to long-term investments.

Create multiple sources of income for safety.

13. Document Your Finances and Share With Family

Maintain a full record of your investments.

Document policies, FDs, mutual funds, and property details.

Share access and instructions with your spouse or close family.

Train your spouse to handle basic financial tasks.

This avoids confusion in emergencies.

14. Regular Financial Health Check-Up

Have a review meeting once a year.

See if goals are on track.

Check asset allocation and rebalance as needed.

Reassess insurance and emergency needs.

Adjust investments based on business growth or expenses.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide you through this.

Finally

You are already financially independent at 40.

You can retire early, or choose to keep working joyfully.

You have the ability to live with peace and flexibility.

But wealth preservation is as important as wealth creation.

Plan your child’s future with care and attention.

Avoid unnecessary risks in real estate or unregulated products.

Grow your liquid assets and create a balanced portfolio.

Keep your taxes low and your peace of mind high.

Take support from a Certified Financial Planner.

And do regular reviews to stay updated.

You have done very well. Now is the time to plan smartly ahead.

Live with purpose, peace, and prosperity.

?
Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8626 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 01, 2025

Money
I have an own house and 60 lakhs in FD and a monthly rd of 1 lakh per month ... My in hand salary after paying RD and other stuff is 75000 .... I am a government servant and want to grow my wealth to around 5 crores in 10 years... My age is 40 now and will retire in another 20 years
Ans: You have a strong financial base. You own a house, have Rs. 60 lakhs in fixed deposits, and invest Rs. 1 lakh monthly in a recurring deposit. After these commitments, you have Rs. 75,000 left each month. As a government employee aged 40, aiming for Rs. 5 crores in 10 years is ambitious but achievable with the right strategy.

Let's break down a comprehensive plan to help you reach your goal.

1. Assessing Your Current Financial Position

Fixed Deposits (FDs): Rs. 60 lakhs in FDs provide safety but offer limited growth due to lower interest rates.

Recurring Deposit (RD): Investing Rs. 1 lakh monthly in RD is commendable, but RDs also offer modest returns.

Monthly Surplus: Rs. 75,000 remains after RD and other expenses, which can be strategically utilized.

2. Understanding the Growth Potential

FDs and RDs: Typically offer 5-7% annual returns, which may not suffice to reach Rs. 5 crores in 10 years.

Equity Investments: Historically, equity investments have provided higher returns, averaging around 12-15% annually over the long term.

3. Strategic Asset Allocation

To achieve higher returns, consider diversifying your investments:

Equity Mutual Funds: Allocate a significant portion to equity mutual funds for potential higher returns.

Debt Instruments: Maintain a portion in debt instruments for stability and liquidity.

Emergency Fund: Ensure you have an emergency fund covering 6-12 months of expenses.

4. Utilizing Monthly Surplus Effectively

With Rs. 75,000 available monthly:

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Start a SIP in equity mutual funds with a portion of this surplus.

Step-Up SIP: Consider increasing your SIP amount annually to accelerate growth.

5. Reviewing and Adjusting RD Contributions

RD vs. SIP: Evaluate the returns from your RD against potential SIP returns. Redirecting some RD contributions to SIPs might offer better growth.

6. Tax Efficiency

Tax-Saving Instruments: Utilize tax-saving options under Section 80C, such as Equity-Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS).

Capital Gains Tax: Be aware of the tax implications on mutual fund returns and plan accordingly.

7. Regular Portfolio Review

Annual Review: Assess your investment portfolio annually to ensure alignment with your goals.

Rebalancing: Adjust your asset allocation based on market performance and personal circumstances.

8. Professional Guidance

Certified Financial Planner (CFP): Consult a CFP to tailor an investment strategy suited to your risk tolerance and goals.

9. Risk Management

Insurance: Ensure adequate life and health insurance coverage to protect your financial plan.

Diversification: Spread investments across various sectors and instruments to mitigate risks.

10. Staying Informed and Disciplined

Financial Literacy: Continuously educate yourself about investment options and market trends.

Discipline: Maintain consistent investment habits and avoid impulsive financial decisions.

Final Insights

Achieving Rs. 5 crores in 10 years is challenging but possible with disciplined investing, strategic asset allocation, and regular portfolio reviews. By leveraging your current financial position and making informed investment choices, you can work towards your goal effectively.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8626 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2025
Money
I am 37 year old and lives in pune. I have 4 years child and my parent are depends on me. I earn 1lack monthly. I bought flat in 2020 here is my expenses. 25 k HOUSE EMI, 20K SIP, 15K BC, and 10k pocket money to my parent .They prefer tobstay at village. 10k Grocery and household chores expenses to pune home. I incurred 3 to 5k miscellaneous expenses. I couldn't save emergency fund yet and i end up with 0 saving. I am tied up with my daily work monday to frieday. I am looking for extra income over the weekend. No success yet. Please guide me, How will i upliftvmy financial conditions.
Ans: You're trying your best. That is the first step. Let’s now move forward with a structured plan to uplift your financial health.

Below is a full assessment with action steps.

1. Understand Your Current Financial Flow

Your income is Rs. 1,00,000 per month. That is a strong start.

Your fixed obligations are:

  • Rs. 25,000 – House EMI
  
  • Rs. 20,000 – SIP investments
  
  • Rs. 15,000 – BC (chit fund)
  
  • Rs. 10,000 – Parents’ support
  
  • Rs. 10,000 – Grocery and chores
  
  • Rs. 3,000 to 5,000 – Miscellaneous

You are left with almost nothing. That needs fixing urgently.

2. Respect Your Existing Efforts

You have no unnecessary spending. That is rare and praiseworthy.

Supporting parents and a child along with EMIs shows responsibility.

SIPs of Rs. 20,000 monthly reflect high financial discipline.

Your commitment is strong. You only need better structure.

3. Plug The Leaks

Review the Rs. 15,000 chit fund contribution.

  • Is it giving real, dependable returns?

  
  • Chit funds are risky and illiquid.

  
  • You may reduce or stop this temporarily.

  
  • Reallocate some amount to build emergency fund.

Track your miscellaneous expenses closely.

  • Rs. 3,000 to 5,000 is a wide range.

  
  • Write down every rupee spent for 30 days.

  
  • You will find avoidable leaks.

Pocket money to parents is noble.

  • Can you reduce to Rs. 8,000 temporarily?

  
  • Discuss openly with them. They may understand.

4. Emergency Fund – Absolute Priority

You have none right now. That is risky.

Start with just Rs. 2,000 a month for it.

Slowly raise it to Rs. 5,000 monthly.

Keep it in liquid mutual funds or sweep-in FD.

Target 6 months of expenses saved.

5. SIP – Continue but Optimise

Rs. 20,000 SIP is excellent, but over-stretching.

Consider trimming SIP to Rs. 15,000 temporarily.

Maintain funds with good track record.

Prefer actively managed funds, not index funds.

Index funds look cheap but are not guided.

Actively managed funds have expert fund managers.

They adapt better to market changes.

Also, invest via regular plans through CFP-guided MFD.

Direct funds may look low-cost but lack advice.

A Certified Financial Planner ensures alignment with your goals.

You avoid wrong fund selection or untimely exit.

6. Weekend Income Ideas – Realistic Steps

You are already working hard Monday to Friday.

Choose light, flexible weekend work only.

Here are some options:

  • Online tutoring for school subjects.

  
  • Content writing or blog summarising.

  
  • Paid online surveys or transcription.

  
  • Voice-over for regional content.

  
  • Teach spoken English to kids or adults.

  
  • Freelance admin or data entry work.

Avoid any scheme asking for upfront money.

Start small. Give 2 hours only per weekend.

Add more hours only if manageable.

Target Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 monthly extra.

7. Insurance and Protection – Check Now

Term insurance is must if not yet taken.

Cover should be 15-20 times your salary.

Don’t mix insurance with investment.

Avoid ULIPs, endowments, money-back plans.

Use pure term plan only.

Health insurance of minimum Rs. 5 lakhs is needed.

Include parents if not yet covered.

Hospital expenses can kill savings quickly.

8. Plan for the Child – Be Early

Your child is 4 now. Good time to start.

Start SIPs for child’s higher education.

Even Rs. 2,000 per month is good now.

Increase slowly every year.

Avoid child ULIP plans. Go for mutual funds.

9. Your Own Retirement – Don’t Delay

Retirement seems far, but planning should begin now.

SIPs can be split for retirement and child’s needs.

Build long-term funds that grow steadily.

Rebalance your portfolio every year with CFP help.

10. Emotional Strength – Vital But Ignored

You are handling work, parents, child, and finances.

That is a lot for anyone.

Take short breaks every week for yourself.

Even 20 minutes daily silence helps mental health.

A peaceful mind will bring better decisions.

11. Set a Weekly Routine for Financial Planning

Pick Sunday morning or evening.

Spend 30 minutes reviewing all money matters.

Note down income, expenses, targets.

Involve your spouse if possible.

Use mobile apps to track your spendings.

This habit can change your financial life.

12. Annual Review – Mandatory Every Year

Every January or April, review full picture.

Assess how much saved, invested, and grown.

Take help of a Certified Financial Planner.

He/she will guide on rebalancing and tax planning.

Realigning yearly avoids long-term mistakes.

13. Tax Planning – Use All Legal Benefits

Check if you are using Sec 80C fully.

Also use 80D for medical insurance premium.

Avoid investing just to save tax.

Make all investments with goal alignment.

14. Goal Chart – Must Prepare One

Note all goals: emergency fund, education, retirement.

Put value and time period for each goal.

Split current SIPs based on goal priority.

Keep one SIP for each long-term goal.

15. Think 10 Years Ahead – Not Just This Month

What you save today grows 5 times in 10 years.

Even Rs. 5,000 monthly invested well makes big difference.

Short pain gives long comfort.

16. Be Open to Guidance

You don’t need to do this alone.

Take help from Certified Financial Planner.

Avoid friends’ or relatives’ advice.

Stay committed to your own plan.

17. Use Your Weekends as “Wealth-End”

2 hours of extra income on weekends is enough.

But use Sunday evening for reviewing your finances.

18. Social Pressure – Say “No” with Pride

Avoid unnecessary functions, gifts, status spendings.

True peace comes from inner stability, not others’ praise.

19. Focus Areas for You Now

Cut back chit fund, SIP, parent support slightly.

Build emergency fund first.

Earn Rs. 3,000 extra from weekends.

Stay focused for 6 months. Results will follow.

Finally

Your income is decent. Your intentions are pure.

You are already doing 50% right.

You only need to redirect and prioritise better.

Build emergency fund. Reduce pressure on yourself.

Give yourself 1 year to rebuild. Not 1 month.

Stay away from shortcuts. No trading. No gambling.

Let your money grow steadily and peacefully.

You are already on the right track. Just fine-tune.

Stay committed. Your future self will thank you.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8626 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 01, 2025
Money
I have a loan of 9 lakhs, monthly emi 26k, trying to pay with credit cards and taken from others, my salary goes to take care of my family needs only, this 10 lakhs is additional for which no source of income, credit card bills are getting another burden to me, max I can clear EMI of loan for another 2months with extra 2.5lakhs credit card due!! Please suggest me a way to come out from this debt trap! Friends & relatives are not going to help! I alone should struggle to clear these loans! Already working for more than 12hours for my livelihood, so no time to work extra, what to do? How to clear the loans?
Ans: You are carrying a huge burden. Still, you are not giving up. That shows strength.

Now, we need a 360-degree plan to escape this debt trap.

This answer is detailed, practical, and designed to rebuild your financial life.

1. Understand Your Current Debt Burden

Rs. 9 lakhs loan with Rs. 26,000 monthly EMI.

Rs. 2.5 lakhs credit card dues added pressure.

No savings. No help from others.

You are using credit cards to pay EMIs.

This cycle is dangerous and needs to stop now.

2. Respect Your Courage First

You are working over 12 hours every day.

You are managing home needs and family.

Even in this pressure, you are still standing.

You deserve appreciation for not running away.

That self-discipline is your biggest asset.

3. The Truth – You Cannot Continue Like This

This debt trap will grow every month.

Credit card interest is above 36% yearly.

Paying EMI from cards creates bigger problem.

In 2 months, situation will get worse.

4. Take Control – Accept Reality First

You cannot solve this by earning more.

You have no time to work extra.

You must now reset your financial structure.

5. Step One – STOP Using Credit Cards Immediately

Do not swipe them again for anything.

Do not use cards to pay EMI.

Do not pay minimum due only. Pay in full if possible.

6. Step Two – List All Your Debts

Make a simple sheet with 3 columns:

  • Amount you owe
  
  • Monthly EMI or bill
  
  • Interest rate

List loan, credit cards, other dues separately.

This gives you full picture of your debt.

7. Step Three – Prioritise Debt Based on Risk

Credit cards come first – they have highest interest.

Unsecured loans come next.

Family debts come last.

8. Step Four – Approach the Lender for Loan Restructuring

Contact the bank or NBFC where you have loan.

Ask for “restructuring” under RBI’s personal loan scheme.

They may allow:

  • Lower EMI for longer term
  
  • Temporary EMI holiday for few months

You need to write a request letter to them.

Mention your financial stress and genuine intention to repay.

9. Step Five – Convert Credit Card to Personal Loan

Most banks allow this.

Convert the Rs. 2.5 lakhs into term loan.

That gives fixed EMI and stops interest growth.

Interest on term loan is lesser than card interest.

10. Step Six – Avoid Minimum Payments on Cards

Paying only minimum keeps the card running.

But interest keeps growing every month.

Within 6 months, amount doubles.

11. Step Seven – STOP Any Fresh Loans

Don’t take new loans to repay old ones.

This is not a solution. This is poison.

12. Step Eight – Talk to a Certified Financial Planner

A CFP will guide debt restructuring.

He will suggest repayment plan based on cash flow.

You cannot handle this stress alone.

13. Step Nine – Cut All Non-Essential Expenses

Reduce phone recharge, DTH, fuel usage.

Postpone all festivals, trips, functions, purchases.

Stop all online shopping, gifts, donations temporarily.

14. Step Ten – Pause All Investments for Now

If you are doing SIPs, stop them temporarily.

Your priority now is to clear debts.

SIP can restart later when stable.

15. Step Eleven – Build Emergency Cushion Slowly

Even in tight cash flow, save Rs. 500/month.

Keep in a separate savings account.

This avoids using card for small needs.

16. Emotional Discipline is Now Your Biggest Tool

Say “No” without guilt to social pressure.

Your family must know your full financial truth.

Be honest and take them into confidence.

17. No Shortcuts – Avoid These Traps

Don’t try day trading or crypto schemes.

Don’t fall for quick-money jobs or part-time scams.

Don’t apply for payday loans online.

18. Use Professional Help If Required

There are RBI-registered debt resolution agencies.

They negotiate with banks on your behalf.

They may reduce interest or combine loans.

19. Stay Away from Informal Money Lenders

Never take from local agents or unlicensed lenders.

They can become dangerous if unpaid.

20. Sell Unused Assets If Any

Do you have gold, gadgets, or vehicle?

If not essential, sell to reduce debt.

A temporary sacrifice gives long-term peace.

21. Speak to Employer If Trusted

Some companies offer salary advance or loan.

Check if your HR has such policy.

Keep repayment terms clear and transparent.

22. Review All Bank Accounts

Do you have any FD or RD?

Break it and use it to clear debt.

23. Debt Avalanche Method – Use When Situation Stabilises

Once stable, start paying highest interest loan first.

After that, clear next highest.

24. Inform Lender Before You Default

If you miss EMI, inform bank in writing.

Don’t avoid calls. That worsens credit record.

25. Start Rebuilding Credit Score After 6 Months

Once you close credit card debt, wait 6 months.

Keep one card with Rs. 5,000 limit.

Use it once a month and pay full.

26. Remember – This Pain is Temporary

You are in deep stress today.

But your mindset is strong.

You are ready to act.

That alone can bring you out of this trap.

27. Final Insights

Your life is more valuable than this debt.

You have already proven hard work.

Now you must build financial wisdom.

Stop credit card use immediately.

Speak to lender. Ask for EMI restructuring.

Convert credit card dues into lower-interest loan.

Cut expenses. Postpone luxuries.

Pause investments till loan burden is reduced.

Set a monthly budget. Stick to it.

Don’t give up. Don’t lose hope.

Within 12 months, you can come out.

After that, you will feel proud.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

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