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Anu

Anu Krishna  |795 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
KM Question by KM on May 30, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am a 43 year old man my relationship with .y wife goes back 29 years and marriage is of 21 years. I caught her cheating and came across her chats. I am unable to forget it. I asked her to leave filed for divorce then again called her back and did not file for divorce. We have a 15 year old daughter. I am just not able to forget each line of her chats with her bf.

Ans: Dear KM,
You asked her to leave and filed for divorce and then went back on it? Why so?
Why did you call her back and then also not want to file for divorce?
And you are still tormented by each line of the chat...
Either, you and your wife can talk about it and move past this OR you need to decide if you want to move out of the marriage.
There is no point having one foot here and another there; it will cause you a lot of pain which is what is happening currently.
So, since you have mentioned that you have a daughter, it's possible that you have held back because of her. Understandable as you are thinking of her and her happiness as well.

I suggest, you and your wife have a conversation and a very honest one...tell her exactly what and how you feel.
If you feel that there is possibility of reconciliation and that can happen only if you are willing to forgive and move on, then kindly find a way to live under a roof amicably. If not, then the best is to think about how a separation can help also keeping your daughter in mind.

Go one way and decide what that way will be. Forgiveness isn't easy, but if it can give you your peace of mind back, why not! Talk it out please...

All the best!

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 23, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 20, 2023Hindi
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My wife has had a serious relationship with my nephew, which i caught when i heard several call recording stored in the phone. She might not have been 100% physical with him but thats not confirmed, and thats eating my head out. The problem is that she is forgetful of things and when i bring certain topics such as travel or food or marriage ceremonies etc, which i think she will remember, she just blanks out and does not remeber them at all. The day i confronted her about the affair she accepted many things that day, but now she has forgotten when did i even confront her. Second problem is that the chats are an on and off thing presently too. She ignores him and vice versa for months and suddenly there is a spurt of activity on phones or in family meets and then everything dies down so much so that i cannot even pin point whether that thing between them exists, even though its in front of me. I am not sure how do i handle the things because this is putting lot of pressure on me mentally, since i cannot confront her as her forgetfulness means i will have to start the story from begning itself.
Ans: I am sorry to hear that you are going through this difficult situation. It's understandable that this is causing you a lot of stress and anxiety.

Firstly, it's important to acknowledge that what you have discovered is a serious breach of trust and it's completely understandable that you are feeling hurt and upset. You may want to consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to help you process your emotions and make decisions about how to move forward.

When it comes to your wife's forgetfulness, it's possible that this is a coping mechanism that she is using to avoid confronting the issue. It's important to communicate clearly with your wife about your concerns and set clear boundaries around what is and is not acceptable in your relationship.

You may want to consider couples counseling as a way to work through these issues together. A therapist can help you both communicate more effectively, develop healthy boundaries, and work on rebuilding trust in your relationship.

It's also important to consider your own needs and boundaries. If you are not comfortable with the situation between your wife and nephew, it's important to communicate that clearly and set boundaries around what is and is not acceptable in your relationship.

Remember, every situation is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It's important to take the time to work through these issues together and prioritize open and honest communication in your relationship.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |159 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 26, 2023

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Relationship
Dear Mam, I am a 46 year old married man for last 15 years. My wife is 39 year old ... We had an arranged marriage. The marriage all along appeared very happy, so to me. We had a very happy married life.. Our elder child is 13 years. ..... We have another who is 6 year .. ..... Around 8 years back my wife was regularly chatting with her old friend and he was openly flirting... I asked my wife to be careful and stop it.. Which she promised..... ... But she never did, she used to delete the chats and occasionally drop his name... I thought she is a wife, a mother and trusted her.... Last year i came to know that she was meeting him too.. I confronted her... and she gave excuses that it was just few... And she only sat in his Car and took some rides, never got down, never went with him anywhere... Never went to any place, apartment or hotel.. and she insisted it was just few and very recent. ... I checked and found she has met him earlier too.. I checked and found she had paused her google timeline off and on.. She had his contact as hidden in Hangouts, and had exchanged some photographs of hers with my Son to him.. She used to gift him on his birthday........ She was regularly chatting and delteting the messages on all forums with him... On again confronting, she admitted that this all started in 2016...and these are the only visits... She claiming she was afraid so didnt tell all initially.. She says she has met him, but never comitted Adultery... She saying she is remorseful, did a very big blunder and trying all hard to win back my trust... But its very hard to believe and trust...the reason 1) She did not disclose everything to me on first time of confronting...she disclosed only recent visits 2) On being asked to cut off all contacts..she told me she has asked her friend not to contact her thru any mode, but she did not delete him/block him from WhatsApp, Facebook, Truecaller, Mobile contact list..this i had to do. 3) Third she admitted she liked Going out wit him.......4) She so silently used to chat with him even when i was around all these years that i did not suspect....We both are working.. ..please Suggest ..... Hope my identity will not be Disclosed
Ans: Discovering that your wife is talking and meeting with a friend and hiding it from you can be a challenging and stressful situation. If you feel that the friend is flirting with your wife, it can further complicate things and cause feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and mistrust. However, it is essential to approach the situation calmly and objectively and take steps to address the issue.

The first thing to do is to communicate openly and honestly with your wife. Express your concerns and feelings and ask her to explain her relationship with the friend. Listen carefully to her side of the story and try to understand her perspective. It may be that there is a reasonable explanation for their interactions, such as a long-standing friendship or a professional relationship.

However, if you still feel uncomfortable with their interactions and suspect that there may be something more going on, it is essential to address the issue directly. Let your wife know how their interactions make you feel and explain why you feel uncomfortable with their friendship. It is essential to avoid accusing your wife of anything and instead focus on your own feelings and concerns.

It is also important to consider your own behavior in the relationship. Are you feeling jealous or insecure due to your own issues, or is there a valid reason for your concerns? Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and assess the situation objectively.

If you feel that the friend is indeed flirting with your wife, it may be necessary to set some boundaries. Let your wife know what behavior is unacceptable and make it clear that you expect her to respect your feelings and the boundaries you have set.

In some cases, seeking the help of a professional counselor or therapist may be beneficial. A therapist can help you both work through your feelings and emotions and develop a plan to move forward in a healthy and positive way.

It is essential to approach the situation with patience, understanding, and open communication to ensure that you can navigate this difficult time and move forward in a positive direction.
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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 18, 2023

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Hi i am 34 old guy well settled i married a girl who cheated me and left me after a month only .After talking a year i got married but she left me in a sec ,feels very cheated .Now talks are getting on to get settlement done .She is just after money money property even after knowing this i still love her a lot .I cry alot for her may be she is practical and cheater and i am not . Marriage for me was something which is to be done once in a life will get over after over dead only but really not able to over come i think 24/7 about her only . Despite knowing everything my minds think about her .I have done alot of things to be busy but I can't concentrate on my life
Ans: It's understandable that you are feeling hurt and betrayed after being left by someone you loved and trusted. It's important to remember that healing from this kind of emotional pain takes time, and it's okay to give yourself the space and time you need to work through your emotions.

One thing you could do is to focus on your own well-being and self-care. This might involve engaging in activities that bring you joy or a sense of fulfillment, such as hobbies or exercise. You could also consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies.

It's also important to consider the practical aspects of the situation, such as the settlement. It can be helpful to work with a legal professional who can help you navigate the process and ensure that your rights and interests are protected.

When it comes to your feelings for your ex-partner, it's important to recognize that these feelings may take time to fade. However, it's also important to remember that your well-being and happiness should always come first. It may be helpful to remind yourself of the reasons why the relationship did not work out and to focus on the future possibilities for happiness and fulfillment in your life.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what steps you need to take to move forward and heal from this experience. Remember to be gentle with yourself, take things one step at a time, and prioritize your own well-being and happiness.
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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |598 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

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Money
Sir I have been investing in MF's for last 5 years. However I have not taken any expert advice or from a certified planner while selecting funds. However I want to understand if I have invested in good funds with the objective of long term wealth creation. PPFAS FLEXI CAP Direct Growth-5200 ICICI Pru Value Discovery-1500 Tata ELSS tax saver-1000 Canara Robeco ELSS tax saver-1000 Axis ELSS tax saver-1000 Quant small cap direct growth-2600 PGIM India mid cap growth-2500 HDFC children gift fund-5000 SBI Magnum children benefits fund-5000. Kindly let me know if I am right track.
Ans: It's great that you've been investing for the last 5 years with a focus on long-term wealth creation. Your portfolio appears to be diversified across flexi cap, value-oriented, tax-saving, small cap, mid cap, and children's funds, which is a positive approach.

To assess if you're on the right track:

Diversification: Your portfolio seems to be diversified across different fund categories, which can help in spreading risk.
Tax Planning: Investing in ELSS tax saver funds can provide tax benefits under Section 80C of the Income Tax Act, enhancing your overall tax planning strategy.
Long-Term Focus: With your investment horizon aligned with long-term wealth creation, the funds chosen generally cater to this objective.
However, it's essential to periodically review your portfolio's performance, ensure alignment with your risk tolerance, and make adjustments as needed. Consider consulting a certified financial planner for a comprehensive review tailored to your financial goals and risk profile.
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Sushil

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Study Abroad Expert - Answered on Apr 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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My son is 24 years ,bcom and acca affiliate working for 18 months, wants to higher studies ,which country and course will be good for him
Ans: Hello,

First and foremost, thank you for getting in touch with us. I am happy to hear that your son has completed his BCom with ACCA and now wishes to pursue higher studies. To answer your question first, I would like to tell you that a number of variables viz., your son’s interests, the location of his choosing, his economic condition, as well as his professional objectives, play a key role in selecting the ideal country and course for his higher education. I would recommend that you take into account the following:

As an answer to your query pertaining to country, I would like to let you know that the UK, well-known for the robust accounting and finance programs it offers, provides a broad range of possibilities for further education, including prominent colleges and universities. Coming to Canada, the country is renowned for its top-tier educational system and friendly atmosphere for overseas students. It is home to a number of universities offering reputed business and accounting programs. Numerous elite universities offering outstanding business and finance programs are located in the USA, providing a myriad of opportunities for international students. For overseas students looking to pursue degrees in accounting and finance, Australia is another sought-after study abroad destination. The country has a robust economy as well as an outstanding educational system.

Concerning your query as to which course will be good for your son, I would like to let you know that he can choose among the courses mentioned below: He can choose to pursue a Master of Science (MSc) in Accounting and Finance: Concentrating on accounting and finance, a specialized master's degree can offer comprehensive knowledge and abilities that are pertinent to your son's professional objectives. Next, based on your son’s professional aspirations, he might choose to pursue professional qualifications viz., CFA (Chartered Financial Analyst), CPA (Certified Public Accountant), or ACCA (Association of Chartered Certified Accountants). Your son can also opt for a Master of Business Administration (MBA) degree. For students looking to further their financial and business professions, this is a preferred option. Specialized MBA programs in finance and accounting are offered by a number of universities.

I would suggest that your son conducts an extensive study on and takes into account variables viz., the program’s standing, accreditation, living expenses, post-graduation employment prospects, as well as the possibility of acquiring a work visa or immigration upon graduating. Moreover, in order to gain meaningful information and acquire guidance when making this crucial choice, I would recommend that your son gets in touch with educational counselors, employment consultants, as well as experts in the subject.

For more information, you can visit our website.
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