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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 19, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
yashasvi Question by yashasvi on Apr 18, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

He doesn't know what happened to him all he says that I don't know what happened to me I just don't wanna talk to anyone. I asked him several times to open up but in the last he said if u can't understand my situation, can't stay without talking to me u can leave me. Its been past one month that he is acting like this . What does it mean ? I feel that I am not valued here . As he can't see how much my feelings are hurt.

Ans: Dear Yashasvi,
I recall answering your question a couple of times. And you seem to be running around in circles waiting for things to happen in a way that he is back in your life when he clearly seems to be running away from you.

When you realize that you are not valued, what exactly are you waiting for? If he does not realize your worth, are you planning on sticking around, chase him and make him realize your worth?

Isn't it time that you value and respect yourself. When you are not wanted by someone, they walk away, ask for space without telling you when they want to re-engage, turn the thing around and make you feel guilty for the way you feel...He's doing all of it to you and yet you want him to see how your feelings are hurt.
How do tell you that you need yo pick yourself up and do the right thing for yourself? Free yourself from this thought and feeling loop with this guy...you will feel liberated.

He said; if you can't understand his situation, then you leave him, right? What more do you want him to do and say for you to believe that he isn't into you at all. Look ahead and learn from this on how to love and care for yourself and soon a person who loves and values you will come along...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 12, 2023

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Hello mam!! I was in a relationship for 7 years and supported my partner in every ways. In starting it was not that good but ya we have the mindset to make this relationship worth it. I don't know i just changed drastically like even I didn't know how. I started to follow each and every instructions of her it's not like he was forcing it's like i was accepting whichni was not even agree before. But things started to change as he was going through lot of struggles in life and i was trying to be with him. But like every interval of time he started disrespecting me in out of his frustration so like lastly i took a stand for me and leave. He also not want to allow me for work after marriage but i want it. But he comes and said this all things is normal in relationship and nothing like self respect exists so don't overreact in this but i am not convinced. I never disrespect him by words or actions never but take everything from him and feeling empty right now.
Ans: Dear Nikita,
Good that you decided to leave the relationship. He comes across as controlling and demanding. Why would you want to lead a life with someone like that? Freedom in every sense is what relationships grow on and when there is someone instructing you in one way or the other; you know he/she is not the right person for you.
When he normalizes his behaviour, he's in his own way making you feel guilty about you moving away. DO NOT give into this as this is toxic behaviour on his part to get what he wants!
When he is ready to break your self-respect, make sure you draw a boundary around you and be glad that you decided to leave. MOVE ON...focus on your life for now and someone who respects you for YOU will come along...till then know that your self-respect is yours to guard!

Best wishes!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2024

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Relationship
But he is never ready for any counselling. Even my parents tried to counsel him. Since our marriage the relationship with his parents got strained and neither of us talk to them. I feel that must be one reason. He never talks openly about anything to me. I try to show love to him in many ways. But i don't know what exactly he wants. He never answers basic questions of what he wants to eat today. How are you feeling and all. I feel so emotionally detached from him. Even when I cry or be sad he never tries to console me. In these years i never saw him completely joyful. Whenever I ask him he says I'm the way I'm. I was always like this. I'm a very joyful talkative person. He is polar opposite. Even a small joke is crack he never understands them and additionally he even feels irritated. I'm changing day by day. More serious, not enjoying, not going out. It's like I have given up on my little happiness.
Ans: First, recognize that your happiness and well-being are important. While it's commendable that you've tried to support your husband and show him love in many ways, it's also crucial to take care of yourself. Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you recharge, whether it's spending time with friends, pursuing hobbies, or simply taking a break for yourself.

Second, consider expressing your feelings to your husband in a calm, non-confrontational way. Share how his lack of communication and emotional detachment are affecting you. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding accusatory, such as, "I feel lonely and disconnected when we don't communicate or share moments of joy."

Since he resists counseling, look for alternative ways to open up communication. Sometimes indirect approaches, like writing him a letter, can help express your feelings without immediate pressure. If he continues to resist, focus on creating a supportive environment where he might eventually feel more comfortable opening up.

It's also important to reflect on your own boundaries and limits. If you've been trying to reach out and improve the relationship but see no reciprocation, consider what you're willing to accept and where you might need to draw the line for your own mental and emotional health.

Seek support from trusted friends, family members, or support groups. Talking to others who understand can provide emotional relief and practical advice. Even if he is unwilling to attend counseling, you might benefit from individual therapy to help process your feelings and develop coping strategies.

Finally, if the situation remains unchanged and continues to impact your well-being, it may be necessary to evaluate your long-term options. Your happiness and mental health are vital, and you deserve to be in a relationship where your emotional needs are met.

Remember that you're not alone, and it's okay to seek help and take steps to ensure your own well-being. Your efforts to maintain the relationship are commendable, but it's also important to recognize when it's time to prioritize yourself.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1617 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 17, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 14, 2024
Relationship
Recently, we had an Arranged Marriage. Before committing for the Marriage, we had a few Months of Courtship Period & got to understand each other well. He seemed to be a very Loving & Caring Person. Once, He asked me whether I was Virgin, I lied saying that I was, because I didn't want to lose such a Wonderful Guy. On our Wedding Night, he got Suspicious as I didn't bleed. Upon further Interrogation, I broke down & confessed the Truth that I had been Sexually Active in my previous Relationships, before getting Married to him. He got Disappointed as he felt Cheated & Betrayed. Since then, he's been sleeping in a seperate Room & not even talking to me properly, there's no Romance between us, at all. He'd also cancelled our Honeymoon Trip to Bali. He comes Home late, often having eaten out, doesn't ask me anything about my Day or even Care about me at all. He's become quite opposite of what he was, during our Courtship Period. Many times, I've tried to break the Ice & build some Chemistry between us, but he told me that he lost all Feelings for me, and he wouldn't even Care if I left him & his House for Good. He was Ready to give me a Divorce, if I wanted to Leave him. But I don't want to throw away this Marriage, I want to try & make it work, but there's no Cooperation at all from his side. He blatantly refused to go for Marriage Counseling with me. In the presence of other Family Members, he tries to act like a normal Husband, just to maintain his image in the Society. But when we both are alone at Home, he acts as if I don't even exist. Now I am getting frustrated, I don't understand what to do? I don't regret all that I did in my Past, I had the Right to Enjoy my Life, when I was Young & Unmarried & I don't owe any Explanation to anyone, about my Past. Now I feel I am being treated too Coldly just for a little White Lie. Did I really do something so Wrong that I don't even deserve to be Loved by the Person, I Married? If it leads to a Divorce, we both have got a lot to lose out on, hence I am trying to avoid the extreme Decision. But I don't have any idea as to how our Marriage can be Repaired & Rejuvenated, when my Husband is not at all interested in the Marriage? Please advise me what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If you understand him, your virginity meant a lot to him...that was one of his core beliefs that one preserves their virginity until marriage. Now, he feels cheated as what he believes in has gone against him. It seems very old-fashioned to want the bride to 'bleed' on the first night and conclude that she isn't pure...I get your point, but that are his values...
Can he change and actually look at things differently and save the marriage? YES only if he wants to...he has to commit to it...

For you, the fear of losing him made you hide the fact. Who's right and who isn't? Neither! It's all a matter of the way you look at it; each one will hold their impressions as the truth. So, he's holding onto what he feels is his truth and unwilling to budge and make the marriage work. What can you do? Perhaps apologize for hurting him; he is hurt and angry, isn't it?

It may seem trivial and foolish to you that he gives this so much importance in this day and age. You can't shake people off their beliefs. Anything that you hide eventually comes to bite you; so act wisely...
- talk to him about how you feel about him and the marriage
- tell him what he means to you and why you hid the facts that was most important to him
- lastly apologize to him from your heart

All this may seem 'going over the top' BUT hey, you wish to make the marriage work, right? At times, going that extreme bit can bring back things...So, if there's a 'Feminist' side of you that seems to disagree, keep that at bay for a while and ask: Do I want the marriage?
If YES, then do what it takes...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5862 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 07, 2025

Career
Post JEE Adv,/Mains, my son has the following options 1. Join Naval Architect and Ocean Engineering in IIT M 2. Electrical in IIT Bhubaneswar or NIT Trichy 3. EC in NIT Suratkal 4. Chemical in IIT Varanasi ( BHU) 5. Metallurgy and material science in Gharakpur. He is more interested in EC. But ok with Electrical too. Is it a better option to join IIT Bhubaneswar without considering the IIT tag compared to NIT Trichy? What is the scope for Naval Architect and Ocean Engineering? Bit confused with college vs Course?
Ans: Roopesh Sir, with roles in maritime engineering, offshore energy, and naval design, supported by IIT Madras’s NIRF #1 engineering rank and strong industry ties (e.g., Schlumberger, Reliance Offshore). However, it is a niche field with limited non-core opportunities. Electronics & Communication (EC) at NIT Surathkal aligns better with your son’s interests, offering 72.66% placements (2024) and broader tech-sector opportunities (e.g., semiconductor design, IoT), though NIT Surathkal’s NIRF #11 engineering rank trails IIT Madras. Electrical Engineering at NIT Trichy (92.9% placements, 2024) outperforms IIT Bhubaneswar (82.2% placements) in both placement consistency and infrastructure, despite IIT Bhubaneswar’s NIRF #54 rank. Chemical Engineering at IIT BHU (74.71% placements) and Metallurgy at IIT Kharagpur (57.14% placements) lag in alignment with his interests and placement rates.

Recommendation: Prioritize EC at NIT Surathkal for interest-driven career prospects and robust placements. If institutional prestige is paramount, NAOE at IIT Madras provides a niche yet secure pathway. Avoid compromising on core interest for the IIT tag unless willing to specialize in maritime sectors. For Electrical, NIT Trichy is preferable over IIT Bhubaneswar due to stronger placements and academic rigor. All the BEST for your Son's Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |5862 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 07, 2025

Career
Amity noida vs galgotias vs manipal jaipur vs bennet for cse?
Ans: Abdullah, Amity Noida (CSE) demonstrates strong credentials with a NIRF Engineering rank #30 (2024) and 95% placement rates (2023–2024), supported by partnerships with tech giants like Google, Amazon, and HCLTech for specialized AI/ML programs. Its infrastructure includes advanced labs and a 100-bed hospital, though occasional Wi-Fi inconsistencies and overcrowded labs are noted. Manipal Jaipur (CSE) outperforms with a 98% placement rate (2024), NAAC A++ accreditation, and NIRF rank #64, offering IoT labs, Dell/Intel collaborations, and a research-driven curriculum, making it ideal for industry-aligned training. Galgotias University (CSE) presents a budget-friendly option with 60–70% placements and recruiters like IBM and Accenture, though its NIRF rank #101–150 and developing infrastructure limit its appeal. Bennett University (CSE), while newer, struggles with lower NIRF rank (#151) and 60–70% placements, despite niche labs (NVIDIA, Apple) and CII collaborations for real-world projects.

Recommendation: Prioritize Manipal Jaipur for assured placements and robust infrastructure, followed by Amity Noida for its established reputation and certifications. Opt for Galgotias if budget constraints outweigh institutional maturity, and consider Bennett only if cutting-edge labs and industry projects align with specific career goals. All the BEST for your Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8869 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 07, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 06, 2025
Money
I am 45 yrs old and want to retire early or decrease my work to half. My present salary is 2lakhs in hand. My assets are approx 2.5 cr in equity, MF, PF. Liabilities are Home loan of 30 lakhs, Education of 15yr old son and I would need 1,80,000 as of today for SIP, RD,EMI and PPF. How early can I retire
Ans: You are 45 and aim to retire early or reduce work hours. Your monthly income is Rs. 2 lakhs. Your expenses, including SIPs, RDs, EMIs, and PPF, total Rs. 1.8 lakhs. You have assets worth Rs. 2.5 crore in equity, mutual funds, and PF. Liabilities include a Rs. 30 lakh home loan and future education expenses for your 15-year-old son.

Let's evaluate your financial situation and explore the feasibility of early retirement.

Current Financial Snapshot
Income: Rs. 2,00,000 per month.

Expenses: Rs. 1,80,000 per month (SIP, RD, EMI, PPF).

Assets: Rs. 2.5 crore in equity, mutual funds, and PF.

Liabilities: Rs. 30 lakh home loan; upcoming education costs for your son.

Assessing Early Retirement Feasibility
High Savings Rate: Your ability to save Rs. 1.8 lakhs monthly is impressive.

Asset Allocation: A diversified portfolio in equity, mutual funds, and PF is beneficial.

Liabilities: The Rs. 30 lakh home loan is a significant commitment.

Child's Education: Anticipate substantial expenses in the near future.

Strategies for Early Retirement
Debt Management: Consider accelerating home loan repayments to reduce liabilities.

Education Fund: Allocate specific investments for your son's education to avoid future financial strain.

Emergency Corpus: Maintain a fund covering at least 6 months of expenses.

Investment Review: Regularly assess and rebalance your portfolio to align with retirement goals.

Potential Retirement Timeline
Short-Term: Focus on clearing liabilities and securing your child's education fund.

Medium-Term: Once major expenses are addressed, evaluate the possibility of reducing work hours.

Long-Term: Aim for full retirement once passive income streams can comfortably cover living expenses.

Final Insights
Early retirement is achievable with disciplined financial planning. Prioritize debt reduction and secure funds for foreseeable expenses. Regularly review your investment portfolio to ensure it aligns with your retirement objectives. Consider consulting a Certified Financial Planner to tailor a strategy suited to your unique circumstances.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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