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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |56 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Seetha Question by Seetha on Apr 03, 2023Hindi
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Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕

Ans: Its important you focus on 2 things for now - (1) your self esteem and your confidence & (2) your education and career. Once you are financially independent is when you can think of a serious relationship - all the best.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |797 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

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Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha , Iam in Inter 2 ne year now and yes it is yet to complete in two days and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk big longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Iam a person whiny understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 5 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but yesterday I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have Naeem friends ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me only I was ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away for one year or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Dear Seetha,
Yes, please stay away from this boy.
He has no clarity about what he wants or what he is doing. He wants you around and then doesn't and then again on his terms. Both of you need to become emotionally mature to handle a relationship.

Like he said: Give yourselves that time and space to focus on studies first. If you add all these confusions, your studies will suffer and you will end up feeling frustrated.
Put down a goal list with a timeline for your forthcoming exams and keep a check at the end of the day as to how much you have accomplished. This is the age for focusing on academics as well besides relationships. Right now, what seems most useful for you is your focus on academics and having a strong friends circle. This will not only distract you but also allow you to see that there is a lot of life outside of this boy that you are stuck on...So, move on, take a break and enjoy life and study hard!

Best wishes for a bright future!
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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

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Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times and mam Highlighting this point —-mam we had passionate romance twice but not that intensely and now I feel regret of doing so if he leaves me ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Seetha, he proposed to you. Then you got physical with him, then he conveniently said you’re better off as friends and blocked you! And then came up with this one year test nonsense! He’s taking you for a ride, and you’re falling for it; don’t be so stupid. I understand that you’re young, but you haven’t done anything wrong and there is no need to feel guilty about anything that has happened. What is important, however, is that you understand this boy is not quite as wonderful as you think he is! He’s taken advantage of you and now he’s trying to worm his way out of it. Cut him off completely, he’s no good. Focus on your studies and if you meet someone else, no harm in exploring a relationship. But this worm doesn’t deserve a minute of your time or attention.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |797 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 03, 2023

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Exams and all are over ... My bf didn't texted me .. I asked him do you want to talk or not the he sounded non interested while talking and then i asked him what happened to you as he said he didn't wanted to talk to anyone he needs time ... So I gave him its been a month... I asked him again .. he was visiting places with his friends( girl) but didn't want to talk .. he said he didn't want talk just want to travel and need some time . I asked him how much time u need its been past one month . I said him to talk to me on call and clear it and then he said that If you cant spend days without talking to me , if u can't understand my situation and can't wait then u can leave ... What should I do ?? Is it so easy for boys to talk about breakup ..pls tell urgently. I don't feel valued and respected as If I was imp for him he would not talk abt breakup so easily. After this everything went silent.. it was like don't know shall I wait or not .. but I realised I don't have value in his life ... Some days before He texted me do u wanna talk or not . I replied with same energy like he used to do. Then I asked him what happened for past 2 months i got the same reply .. I was really hurt but i guess he never realised I texted that u blanked out for 2 months I asked desperately but u never gave me proper answer .. I was hurt even then also u never realised... He replied Hmm .. So u wanna talk or not say clearly. Yes or no that's it ..At this time it hit hard .. And then asked do u want us to continue. He said yes then i said How will u continue when u don't know what happened to u .. u don't sound interested when i ask with some pressure u just say to leave and the said .. Chalo leave ... I am not gud for u. Even after that he sends me snaps ... So idk what is this situation and I am not in condition to ask him as well. Should I just leave his snaps unseen and focus on my career?
Ans: Dear Yashasvi,

If I recall, you had reached out to me earlier too and asked me about the same thing.
For some reason, you are not willing to believe that he is just playing around and not interested in a commitment that you are interested in.
In your own words: "but I realised I don't have value in his life." - When you have realized this, what more are you expecting from him?

I understand that you are hurt with his attitude and feel rejected...you are also possibly hoping for him to change and come back to you; will it happen? With what you have said about him: he wants to travel, he needs time...he has not broken up with you because there was no relationship that he was in with you at all. It is time for you to accept that this boy is currently not in a place where he wants to stick with you in a commitment. So, he makes all the excuses he can come up with...and when he can roam about with the other girl, does that not tell you that you seriously have no value in his life? How else do you want him to tell you, so that you can move on...
Please value and respect yourself first; only then others will do that too...you have just become too easily available for him and he has used that to treat you the way he does...
So, what should you do? Yes, kindly focus on your career...it will boost your confidence and give you a sense of accomplishment to value yourself even more...

All the best...remember to also value yourself...
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |797 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I'm 18years old girl.from last 4years one guy is loving me.he is 23years old right now.we didn't met but we are chatting in online and we are talking in mobiles also.he is behind of my house.we exchange our numbers also. but,actually i like him like a friend.but,he is loving so much to me.after that i got a praposal from our college senior.but,i didn't accept his praposal. we are changing our numbers and chatting and talking in mobiles.but,one day i accept him.actually i have an friend before i said who loves me from last 4years.now my friend is saying i want to marry you from last 2years.but,i didn't love him.he is caring like my mother from last 4years.he never misbehaving with me.he never talk rudely.but i said to him,I'm already in relationship since 3months with one guy.but,his said don't tell any thing to me.im loving you since last 4years.why did not accept my praposal.why you accept to him.he just you know from since 3months.but,im loving and caring from last 4 years.why you not accept me and why you accept his... I already spoke with him I'm in relationship with the guy who is of my college senior.but,he is not understanding.he said i love you and i want you only.i dont want any one.i need only you,he told me like that... Please tell me what will i do....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Please get away from this guy who says he has been in love with you for 4 years. He seems obsessed with you and you can be in a relationship with anyone that you wish to...
But also, you don't seem to be sire as to what you want to do...at 18, relationships can be confusing...why don't you focus on having more friends at college rather than getting into a serious relationship? There's always time for that seriousness later in life...build a good friend circle and put your energies into studying well and in a year or two when you display that maturity, you will be able to have better relationships...

All the best!
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Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |797 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu I am a 36 year old IT pro with a beautiful family (wife and 2 kids) 1 year back, i had a coworker (shes married but widowed with 1 kid) with whom i had to work on a project..we shared a good friendship and unfortunately on one occasion, under the influence of alcohol, i went overboard and had a deep sexual chat with her..it was mutual and the next day i really felt bad and apologized to her.she also said it was ok.. After that i avoided her but she kept on giving singals to continue the relationship, i sternly avoided her and pleaded with her in message and call to leave me..during the time of sexual chat, i never knew she was a widow else i wud not have done that..shes now harassing me and stalking me on social media..i really feel bad for what i did to her and am over ridden with guilt..she says lets be friends as she has no one to turn on to.. but i pretend to be as she still has that chat messages and if she raises an ombuds i will be out of the job..but worse of all, i do not want this to destroy my family life. I love my wife and kids and she wont take this easily if i disclose this to her .pls suggest a way out of this..i am really desperate..it was jus a chat and i am a train wreck now..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This is a bit messy...It could land you into a lot of trouble and obviously you didn't know that when you were chatting with her, right?
Avoiding her hasn't worked and the best thing possibly now would be to just be polite yet firm where she feels that she is not being snubbed. Also consider taking your wife into confidence as this will eliminate the chance of ruining your peace at home. Come clean and confess to your wife and request her to support you; of course she might give you a earful, listen to all of it.
You have a price to pay for the fun that you had that one time; so take it in your stride and tread carefully...be kind to the woman and be honest with your wife. You can only pray that this can keep you out of trouble.
And the next time you drink, kindly keep your phone away...

All the best!
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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |56 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 19, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello mam , we are in relationship of total 3 yrs in which long distance is for 2 years we both have their colleges in different state now question arises to our mind about future that we both no we will do job in same location where we study we we both can't compromise to go to any other states as there is less opportunity as we both are in different field this is one of the problem and other is his parents are so strict and belongs to bhramin family they don't accept intercaste marriage even he don't want to step out from his home as he want to take care of his parents .and we are very sure that we don't want to compromise our careers . So how our marriage is possible ? Should we have to leave each other prior to the day comes or is there any solution to it which we both can compromise ??
Ans: Hmmm lets simplify this, what would you tell your friend if she comes and tells you that she has met someone wonderful BUT his parents will not accept her and he will make no efforts to make it work...I am assuming you will tell her to put this relationship on hold for sometime...which means putting it on hold with no interaction, stopping all interactions - giving him space and time to think about it...do this for 6 months to 12 months, this does not mean dating someone else. Here he needs to find a solution, if he does its a win-win, if he does not then he may not be someone she may wish to be in a relationship with...and in the meantime you are likely to ask her to focus on her career. My response to your query will be on the same lines.
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Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |60 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

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Hi Sir, My wife as sever pain in left foot at point where finger starts from foot. pain is like that some wound is there, but from outside its ok. could you please guide what can be cause for this and how to cure this. Thanks Sunil
Ans: Hello,

I'm sorry to hear about your wife's pain. The location you described, where the pain is at the point where the finger starts from the foot, could indeed be caused by various conditions such as corns or plantar fasciitis, as you mentioned.Corns are small areas of thickened skin that develop as a result of pressure or friction. They can cause pain and discomfort, especially when walking or wearing tight shoes. Plantar fasciitis, on the other hand, is inflammation of the thick band of tissue (plantar fascia) that runs across the bottom of the foot. It commonly causes stabbing pain near the heel or along the arch of the foot, but it can sometimes affect other areas of the foot as well.To determine the exact cause of your wife's pain and the best course of treatment, it would be advisable for her to visit a physiotherapist or a healthcare professional specializing in foot conditions. They can conduct a thorough examination, possibly including imaging tests if necessary, to make an accurate diagnosis and recommend appropriate treatment options. In the meantime, she can try some self-care measures to alleviate the pain, such as resting the foot, applying ice packs, wearing comfortable and supportive footwear, using over-the-counter pain relievers, and possibly using orthotic inserts or pads to reduce pressure on the affected area.I hope your wife finds relief soon.
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Vivek

Vivek Shah  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 18, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 25 years old and investing 2k in quant small cap, 2k in Nippon small cap, 1k in parag Parikh flexi, 1k in Motilal Oswal midcap, 1k in HDFC mid cap. Is it good for long term like 30 years. Plz advice me
Ans: Hello,

Your portfolio seems to be well-diversified across different sectors and market caps, which is generally a good approach for long-term investing. Here are a few things to consider:

Performance History: Look at the historical performance of each mutual fund scheme over various time frames (1 year, 3 years, 5 years, and since inception). Compare it with relevant benchmarks and peer group averages to assess how well the fund has performed.

Fund Manager Experience: Evaluate the experience and track record of the fund manager. A skilled and experienced fund manager can significantly impact the performance of the fund.

Expense Ratio: Consider the expense ratio of each mutual fund scheme. Lower expense ratios mean more of your investment returns stay with you rather than being eaten up by fees.

Investment Strategy: Understand the investment strategy of each mutual fund scheme. Make sure it aligns with your risk tolerance, investment goals, and time horizon. For example, small-cap funds tend to be riskier but offer higher growth potential, while flexi-cap funds offer more flexibility in asset allocation.

Asset Allocation: Ensure that your overall portfolio is well-diversified across different asset classes, sectors, and market caps. Avoid overconcentration in any single fund or sector.

Risk Management: Assess the risk management practices of each mutual fund scheme. Look for funds with a disciplined approach to risk management and a focus on preserving capital during market downturns.
Fund House Reputation: Consider the reputation and credibility of the mutual fund house managing the scheme. A well-established and reputable fund house is more likely to have robust investment processes and governance standards.

Regular Review: Regularly review the performance and portfolio composition of each mutual fund scheme. Make adjustments to your portfolio as needed based on changes in your investment objectives, market conditions, and fund performance.
It's also a good idea to consult with a SEBI registered investment advisor who can provide personalized advice based on your financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance. They can help you build a well-structured investment portfolio tailored to your needs.

It's also a good idea to consult with a SEBI registeredinvestment advisor who can provide personalized advice based on your financial situation, goals, and risk tolerance. They can help you build a well-structured investment portfolio tailored to your needs.
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Vivek

Vivek Shah  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner - Answered on Apr 19, 2024

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Money
Why continue investing through SIPs in a volatile market?
Ans: Hello,

Continuing to invest through SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans) in a volatile market can be a prudent strategy for several reasons, especially in the context of the Indian stock market:

Rupee Cost Averaging: SIPs allow investors to buy more units when prices are low and fewer units when prices are high. This averaging effect can potentially reduce the overall cost of investment over time, mitigating the impact of market volatility.
Disciplined Approach: SIPs encourage a disciplined approach to investing by automating the investment process. Investors commit to investing a fixed amount regularly, regardless of market conditions, which can help avoid emotional decision-making during periods of volatility.
Long-Term Focus: Investing through SIPs is ideal for investors with a long-term investment horizon. While short-term market fluctuations can be unsettling, they are often smoothed out over the long term. By staying invested through SIPs, investors can benefit from the compounding effect and the potential for higher returns over time.
Opportunity to Buy Low: Volatility in the market presents opportunities to buy quality stocks at discounted prices. SIP investors can take advantage of these market dips by continuing to invest regularly, potentially enhancing their portfolio's overall returns when the market rebounds.
Diversification Benefits: SIPs allow investors to spread their investments across different market segments and asset classes over time. This diversification can help reduce overall portfolio risk and enhance long-term returns, even in a volatile market environment.
However, it's essential for investors to review their investment objectives, risk tolerance, and financial goals periodically, and consult with a qualified financial advisor to ensure that SIPs align with their overall financial plan. Additionally, investors should be prepared for short-term fluctuations and exercise patience during periods of market volatility.
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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