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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 28, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Seetha Question by Seetha on Mar 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha , Iam in Inter 2 ne year now and yes it is yet to complete in two days and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk big longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Iam a person whiny understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 5 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but yesterday I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have Naeem friends ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me only I was ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away for one year or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕

Ans: Dear Seetha,
Yes, please stay away from this boy.
He has no clarity about what he wants or what he is doing. He wants you around and then doesn't and then again on his terms. Both of you need to become emotionally mature to handle a relationship.

Like he said: Give yourselves that time and space to focus on studies first. If you add all these confusions, your studies will suffer and you will end up feeling frustrated.
Put down a goal list with a timeline for your forthcoming exams and keep a check at the end of the day as to how much you have accomplished. This is the age for focusing on academics as well besides relationships. Right now, what seems most useful for you is your focus on academics and having a strong friends circle. This will not only distract you but also allow you to see that there is a lot of life outside of this boy that you are stuck on...So, move on, take a break and enjoy life and study hard!

Best wishes for a bright future!

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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

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Relationship
Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Its important you focus on 2 things for now - (1) your self esteem and your confidence & (2) your education and career. Once you are financially independent is when you can think of a serious relationship - all the best.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 04, 2023

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Relationship
Hello Mam ! Mam I don’t know if I have right to ask you this cause Iam still 17 ! Mam Iam Seetha ..I have completed my inter 2nd year and I am preparing for Neet 2023 and Yes I am least confident about my first attempt so I’ll be preparing for Neet 2024 to ! There is a boy whom I know him since 5th class but we were close to each other from 9th class ….. but like a good friend and 4 months ago he proposed me and I slowly fell in love with him !!! He is a good guy he respects me a lot and he respects everyone …from past one month we were very close and we met several times and mam Highlighting this point —-mam we had passionate romance twice but not that intensely and now I feel regret of doing so if he leaves me ….. He is a guy who respects my time and his time he don’t have obsession like I have for him ….I always force him to stay or talk bit longer and he felt like I won’t respect his time and Said Iam a person who won’t understand his efforts he puts for us and he said 10 days ago that we should be away for a year so that concentrate on ourself and he said to that I should change to a mature person …and he blocked me everywhere but I refused but I done it I mean neither we talked or chatted with each other for 5 days but after few days I called him from other number and he know that and unblocked me so we spoke to each other ! He said that we should be apart for our self but then again he said we should have been friends only but whatever happened is happened now we can’t do anything he said ! I asked him that be true and if you want to ask for a break up you can buy he said no I want you and I don’t want to leave you … and yeah mam he never tried to be physical with me …only I was and for this he sayid that I never understand him and etc etc and said that I just loved him physically not truely and that broke my heart ! But I don’t know what I should do now ? He said this is test for us that will our love be the same for one year ? But then again few days ago We talked to each other and that to I started first …yesterday as a friend we were talking and he said he wrote a poem and I asked for whom u wrote this he said For my ex …he said that if she comes again then he will accept and I was really confused 😐…And we had a huge fight he felt bad and I too but lastly I said sorry and today he asked for a break up and I said I won’t repeat my behaviour gain and I asked for last chance so that I could change from childish behaviour to a mature girl as he likes … Now you please say me mam that what should be done ? Should I have to stay away from him temporarily until I get changed to a better person as he wants or should I break up with him since he said we should have been frnds only ! What should I do mam ? Kindly please reply me as fast as you could mam !!! 😕
Ans: Seetha, he proposed to you. Then you got physical with him, then he conveniently said you’re better off as friends and blocked you! And then came up with this one year test nonsense! He’s taking you for a ride, and you’re falling for it; don’t be so stupid. I understand that you’re young, but you haven’t done anything wrong and there is no need to feel guilty about anything that has happened. What is important, however, is that you understand this boy is not quite as wonderful as you think he is! He’s taken advantage of you and now he’s trying to worm his way out of it. Cut him off completely, he’s no good. Focus on your studies and if you meet someone else, no harm in exploring a relationship. But this worm doesn’t deserve a minute of your time or attention.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, I'm 18years old girl.from last 4years one guy is loving me.he is 23years old right now.we didn't met but we are chatting in online and we are talking in mobiles also.he is behind of my house.we exchange our numbers also. but,actually i like him like a friend.but,he is loving so much to me.after that i got a praposal from our college senior.but,i didn't accept his praposal. we are changing our numbers and chatting and talking in mobiles.but,one day i accept him.actually i have an friend before i said who loves me from last 4years.now my friend is saying i want to marry you from last 2years.but,i didn't love him.he is caring like my mother from last 4years.he never misbehaving with me.he never talk rudely.but i said to him,I'm already in relationship since 3months with one guy.but,his said don't tell any thing to me.im loving you since last 4years.why did not accept my praposal.why you accept to him.he just you know from since 3months.but,im loving and caring from last 4 years.why you not accept me and why you accept his... I already spoke with him I'm in relationship with the guy who is of my college senior.but,he is not understanding.he said i love you and i want you only.i dont want any one.i need only you,he told me like that... Please tell me what will i do....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Please get away from this guy who says he has been in love with you for 4 years. He seems obsessed with you and you can be in a relationship with anyone that you wish to...
But also, you don't seem to be sire as to what you want to do...at 18, relationships can be confusing...why don't you focus on having more friends at college rather than getting into a serious relationship? There's always time for that seriousness later in life...build a good friend circle and put your energies into studying well and in a year or two when you display that maturity, you will be able to have better relationships...

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9785 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 19, 2025Hindi
Money
Am 32 years old with salary of 1 lakh per month and monthly expenses of around 60-70k as am single earning member of my family of 5, recently married, no kids and all my savings have been depleted in marriage and I don't have any savings or investment. I only have one term insurance of 1 crore and medical coverage for myself of 10 lakh and PF of around 1lakh. I would like to start savings & investment journey to retire by 50 but I also have to buy a house(cost around 40 lakh) in next 10 years & car in next 4 years. Please guide me what should be my savings and investment strategy
Ans: You are 32 years old. You have just started your married life.
You have no savings currently but have a steady income. You are also supporting your family.
You want to buy a car in 4 years, a house in 10 years, and retire by 50.
These are clear and realistic goals. Starting now with the right plan is very important.

Let’s look at your profile in a 360-degree view and build a complete strategy for your savings and investments.

? Family and Financial Responsibilities

– You are newly married and supporting a family of 5.
– You are the only earning member at present.
– You have no kids now, but this may change in a few years.

Right now, your family depends fully on your income. So, stability and discipline are very important.

? Income and Expense Overview

– You earn Rs. 1 lakh per month.
– Monthly expenses are Rs. 60K–70K.

This leaves you with Rs. 30K–40K surplus per month.
This is a strong base to begin your financial journey.

It is very important to save at least Rs. 25K from this every month.

? Current Assets and Insurance Cover

– Term insurance of Rs. 1 Cr is active.
– You have health cover of Rs. 10L for yourself.
– EPF balance is around Rs. 1L.
– No other savings or assets currently.

You have taken the first correct steps by starting term and health cover.
Make sure health cover includes family members as they are dependent on you.
As you grow older, adding family floater will be a wise move.

? Emergency Fund Is Your Next Priority

– You don’t have any emergency fund now.
– This is your first and most urgent step.

Start building a minimum of Rs. 1.5L–2L over the next 6 months.
This should be parked in a safe liquid or ultra-short debt fund.
Do not invest this in equity. Keep it easily accessible.

This is your buffer for job loss, hospital expenses, or urgent needs.

? Set Your Financial Goals Clearly

You have shared three goals. Let's plan them in detail:

– Car purchase (Rs. 8–10L in 4 years)
– House purchase (Rs. 40L in 10 years)
– Retirement (at age 50, in next 18 years)

All these goals have different timelines. So, different strategies are needed.

? Goal 1: Car Purchase in 4 Years

– Budget is around Rs. 8–10L.
– Don’t take a car loan. Start saving monthly instead.

Invest Rs. 10K–12K/month in ultra-short or short-term debt funds.
These are safer for short-term goals. They give better returns than FDs.

Avoid equity mutual funds for this goal. You don’t have enough time to recover losses if the market falls.

When goal is 12 months away, move all funds to liquid fund.

Car is a depreciating asset. So, buy within your means. Avoid emotional spending here.

? Goal 2: House Purchase in 10 Years

– Estimated cost: Rs. 40L.
– You may need Rs. 8L–10L as down payment.

For this goal, equity mutual funds can be used in the beginning.
But slowly reduce risk as you approach the goal year.

Invest Rs. 10K–12K/month into actively managed mutual funds.
Avoid index funds. They are average performers and don’t protect you during market falls.

Actively managed funds, when reviewed regularly, give better outcomes.
Start with a mix of large-cap and flexi-cap mutual funds.

Do not choose direct plans without advisor help.
– Direct plans have no guidance, no reviews, and lead to poor fund choice.
– Regular plans with MFDs who are CFPs provide goal-based planning and corrections.

When you are 3 years away from the house goal, shift from equity to debt funds.
This protects you from market risk. Don’t let a market crash affect your house plan.

? Goal 3: Retirement by Age 50

– You have 18 years to build retirement wealth.
– Since you have no savings now, this needs focus.

Start with Rs. 8K–10K/month into actively managed mutual funds.
You can increase this as your income grows.

Choose a mix of large-cap, flexi-cap, and balanced advantage funds.
Don't invest all in aggressive funds. Balance is key.

EPF and retirement corpus must grow side by side.
Don’t withdraw EPF early. Let it compound.

Also, consider opening NPS to get tax benefit and build retirement asset.
Limit NPS to 10–15% of total retirement plan. Too much NPS can reduce post-retirement liquidity.

Do not depend on real estate for retirement. It is illiquid.
Also, rental income is uncertain and property sales take time.

Keep equity mutual funds as your main retirement engine.

Review the plan every 2 years with a Certified Financial Planner.

? Systematic Investment Plan (SIP) Allocation

With Rs. 30K–35K surplus, you can follow this SIP plan:

– Rs. 10K/month → Car purchase (in debt funds)
– Rs. 12K/month → House down payment (in equity funds)
– Rs. 10K/month → Retirement goal (in diversified mutual funds)
– Rs. 2K–3K/month → Emergency fund (in liquid fund)

As your income increases, raise SIPs each year by 10–15%.

Stick to this discipline for the next 5 years and your financial position will be strong.

? Don’t Take Investment Advice from Banks or Unqualified Sources

Avoid random product selling by banks.
They push what earns them the most, not what suits you.

Avoid endowment, ULIP, or investment-insurance policies.
These give poor returns, long lock-ins, and very little flexibility.

Also, avoid annuities in future. They give fixed income, but poor inflation adjustment.

You need flexible, growing income after retirement. Mutual funds offer that.

? Avoid Index Funds and Direct Plans

Index funds look cheap but come with big disadvantages:
– No downside protection during market crash
– Poor performance during sideways markets
– Cannot outperform benchmarks
– Passive strategy may not meet your goal timelines

Direct mutual funds are low-cost, but come with high risk for new investors:
– No guidance
– No goal tracking
– High chances of wrong fund selection
– No portfolio review or corrections

Regular funds via a Mutual Fund Distributor with CFP help offer better goal-based investing.
The advisory support helps you avoid mistakes and stay on course.

? Tax and Investment Planning

Use EPF and NPS for tax savings under Section 80C and 80CCD(1B).
Start SIPs in ELSS only if you haven’t reached the 80C limit.

Plan MF redemptions smartly to avoid capital gains tax.
As per new rules:

– LTCG above Rs. 1.25L/year on equity MFs is taxed at 12.5%
– STCG is taxed at 20%
– Debt fund gains are taxed as per your slab

So always avoid churning funds without need. Review redemptions carefully.

? Next 6 Months Plan of Action

– Build Rs. 2L emergency fund in liquid funds
– Start SIP of Rs. 10K/month in debt funds for car goal
– Start Rs. 12K/month SIP in equity funds for house goal
– Start Rs. 10K/month SIP for retirement
– Avoid new liabilities or emotional spends

Track each SIP goal separately. Don’t mix funds.
Label your folios for clear tracking (car, house, retirement, etc.)

? Final Insights

You are starting at zero. But you have time on your side.
A disciplined start today will build a safe future.

Start slow, but stay consistent. Avoid reacting to short-term events.

Invest with a Certified Financial Planner who offers regular tracking.
You will avoid mistakes and reach your financial goals in time.

Your future is in your hands. Plan it with patience and proper direction.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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