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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |59 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Mar 25, 2023

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Mar 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Dear Coach, I know that communication is the best way to be and remain connected in marriage. My wife and me are married since 12 years, but we don't have a healthy communication between us. I tried to tell her many times (by words, writing, whatsapp messages, etc.) that she needs to hear me out and not cut my sentence in between. But she will always cut my sentence in between and not allow me to speak. Due to this, she derives wrong meaning from a half sentence. On the contrary, I am a good listener and will never stop her from speaking or expressing herself. Please help me, how should I convince my wife to listen to me.

Ans: communication is not only about talking - its about listening too and unfortunately many of us do not follow this form of communication. Explain to your wife that its important for your relationship that she works on this habit to listen....also pretend to cut her sentence, not allowing her to speak - it will annoy her - it is then calmly explain to her that you did this to make her realise what you expereince.

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Love Guru

Love Guru   |187 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert - Answered on Mar 13, 2023

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I am 45 and my wife 40. We are married since 10 years and have a child. We are middle class. I really care my wife and love her. I believe in women empowerment and want my wife to be good in computer knowledge, spoken english and be a smart lady . Smart not in terms of look but from mind. I am an event manager. I want my wife to take take care of house hold responsibilities and help me at work to certain extent in balanced manner. But she is unable to take care of any of my wishes, desires, ambitions. I have tried to talk several several time but every time it becomes one sided. If i speak 100 then she doesn't speak even 1. I want to keep her happy. I want to give her an identity. But i fail in all because she doesn't understand me. This nature of her is just crushing all my ambitions, desires and wishes. By nature she seems to be very simple but as we know too much of anything is bad. Several times i have told her to talk and let me know her point of view, but she doesn't. She is not mature enough to handle those responsibilities that come in our life at different times. FEEL JUST HELPLESS HOW TO TUNE MY HOUSE AND HOUSE HOLD AFFAIRS WITHOUT THE SUPPORT OF WIFE. PLEASE GUIDE.
Ans: You have made very clear what you want, but we have no clue what your wife wants. And communication — or rather the lack of it — is the problem. You obviously can’t facilitate it because she’s simply not responding and I find that highly unusual. It seems like she is unable to express herself at all, and that is certainly an issue. Please consult a professional therapist and explain yourself; I would suggest you attend the first session alone so you are able to articulate the exact nature of the problem.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |816 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am a married man from last 20 years. I am unable to understand the psychology of my wife. she always complains me that she doesn't feel any belongingness from my end and keep her on last priority. further, I always take care of my mother, sisters and friends. I always talk to her in a very rude and loud voice. whenever i approach her she starts blaming me and after sometime, I became irritated by her repetitive statements. whenever she approach me to patch up after few moments she said that I am talking loud and non sense. please guide me how to tackle this problem to rejuvenate the relation?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You yourself have identified that you talk rudely to your wife; so how do you expect her to relate to you.
If you have chosen to 'rejuvenate' the relation, then the way the two of you communicate with each other must be changed.
This is a suggestion for both of you to improve your communication:
1. Listen to the other patiently when they are talking
2. Ask: 'What can I do to make you feel better?'
3. Make sure that there are no accusations/complaints made during the communication
4. Practice compassion when the other person is talking
5. Don't interrupt them in between when they are talking

This is just the beginning and basic guidelines to begin communicating better. As the two of you see the benefits, you can then start to work on the challenges that you face from family. As much as you take care of your side of the family, make sure that you give enough attention to your wife as well and the same goes for her.
The two of you are simply crying out for each other's time and attention. Start with the basic suggestions and slowly take it on from there.

All the best!
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |816 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 31, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
MINE WIFE,AGE 41 YEARS HAS EDUCATIONAL QUALIFICATION OF B.ED,M.A AND M.ED.WE ARE MARRIED FOR 16 YEARS AND HAVE ADOPTED A SON WHO IS NOW STUDYING IN 1ST CLASS.INSPITE OF QUALIFICATION OF MY WIFE,SHE FAILS TO TEACH OUR SON PROPERLY.WHAT SHE DO IS CRAMMING EVEN IN MATHS.I TRY TO CONVINCE MINE WIFE TO READ BOOKS,NEWSPAPER BUT EVERYTIME I PUTUP THESE TOPICSSHE GETS HORRIBLE TOWARDS ME LIKE SHOUTING.SOMETIMES SHE CRIES LONELY.I ADVICE HER THAT WHATEVER WE LEARN WILL BENIFIT OUR SON BUT SHE REALLY GET UPSET WITH ANY OF MY ADVICE.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONVINCE HER TO CHANGE HER NEGATIVE ATTITUDE.HER HEALTH IS ALSO NOT GOOD WHICH SHE REALISES BUT WHEN I TELL HER TO HAVE PROPER DIET AND EXERCISE,SHE GETS ANNOYED WITH ME AND SCREAM WITH ME.ON THE CONTRARY,WHEN SHE FACE OUTSIDE WORLD ,SHE GETS SCARY AND DON'T COME OUT OF HOUSE.WHOEVER SUGGEST HER SOMETHING SHE AVOIDS THAT PERSON.I REALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO OVERCOME THIS ATTITUDE OF HER.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Children; whether biological or adopted require the attention of the entire family.
Individuals; whether qualified or not require not just to manage home but also follow their passion.

From what I can gather, your wife can (while your son is at school) can work part-time or from home. I am sure her qualifications can help her find the right thing for her. Yes, I do understand that when she does not care for her health, it can cause you great deal of worry; but try to convey the same thing as CARE rather than an INSTRUCTION. It might help you...If she has begun to avoid people who are trying to help her, then the problem is possibly deeper than what it might be. Do get a medical check up done to rule out any vitamin deficiencies first and then if this persists, I suggest speaking with a counselor who can address any unresolved challenges that she might be facing.

All the best!
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Asked by Anonymous - Apr 19, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am MSC microbiologist. I have applying many companies but no response from anywhere I am desperately searching but not found my wishes job opportunity from Maharashtra but not responding any consultant and companies
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about your challenges in finding job opportunities in Maharashtra. Consider searching for positions in neighboring cities or regions where there may be more demand for microbiologists. Make use of online job portals and professional networking platforms to search for job openings in your field. Tailor your resume to highlight your relevant skills and experiences, and actively apply to positions that match your qualifications. Attend industry-specific events, seminars, and conferences where you can network with professionals in your field and learn about job opportunities. Join relevant industry associations or online forums to stay updated on industry trends and job openings. Identify companies in Maharashtra that may require microbiologists for research, testing, or product development purposes. Visit their websites, review their career pages, and reach out directly to inquire about job opportunities or submit your resume. Job searching can be a challenging and time-consuming process, but it's important to stay persistent and maintain a positive attitude. Celebrate small victories, stay proactive in your job search efforts, and remain confident in your abilities and qualifications. Keep refining your job search strategies, and don't hesitate to seek support from former colleagues, classmates, professors, and industry contacts who may be aware of job openings or able to provide insights into the job market.
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Dr Karthiyayini

Dr Karthiyayini Mahadevan  |696 Answers  |Ask -

General Physician - Answered on Apr 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 11, 2024Hindi
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Health
My grandmother has Parkinson's and got a tube in her nose that extends to her stomach that so we can inject liquids easily as she completely avoids eating food and doesn't even swallow a sip of water. She snatched the tube out of her nose completely and now it cannot be used again. We cannot keep a check on her for full 24 hours but we try our best. Please suggest anything to avoid the snatching as once a tube has been taken out it cannot be re-inserted. And please one more thing that she keeps wetting the bed despite of using diapers. The diaper always leaks out and then my mom has to clean grandmother, her clothes, the bed sheets etc. She gets tired by doing this twice a day as it is a lot of work. Pls suggest something about the bed wetting to how to minimise it. She is around 70 kgs and cannot even get up herself so my mom has to pull her out of the bed which requires a lot of strength. My mom feels pain in her back and shoulder a lot. All of this happening around the house is too much. I will be grateful if you reply.
Ans: To avoid bed wetting you need to make her wear the correct size diaper. Undersheets can be used as an added protection.
Normally soaking happens if we do not change the diaper adequately.
Please ask your Mom to do some upper body work outs through a physios, help.
With respect to the Ryle's tube, it is an irritant that one gets used to. If your Grandmom does not like it and non cooperative not much can be done. But you could check up with her Physician if now and then Parenteral nutrition can be given by hospitalising her
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