Mam, I am retired father in law and financial well off. My son got married five years back. It is arranged marriage through matrimony. My son and daughter in law are both post degree qualified and well placed and staying with us. We tried asking for some money from both of them for monthly family expenses after two years of marriage which daughter in law refused and said you want dowry in this form, she record conversations, threat us of stree mukti, of police complaint , object our daughter visiting our place, blames us etc. Very often, she fight with her husband as well. We are only in reactive mode every time and accommodate her. Nowadays, she has started demanding the money spent by her mother in marriage and frequently leave our house and stay with her mother. We are afraid that she does not fake complain and harrasss us. Does not have any respect to relation, relatives, isolated /self centric, high ego and make other irritate type of personality, thinks of herself, does not believe that there is world outside. Please advise.

Hi Anu, I'm a 50 year old male married for 10 years. This is our second marriage for both of us. We live abroad. Since Day One my spouse was suspicious of me linking me with anyone on the street. She says I'm sighting girls. She suspected that I am interested in my elder sister-in-law since marriage. She never told me this for three years. Due to this we never had any relationship (and no child). Because of this constant fighting I lost my mother (I apologised to mother since I was not able to take care of her and I was unhappy. She died within a month of my apology.) I never told anyone either of our relatives about our problems. My father is 90 and alive. I don't want to cause any problem to him. During these 10 years her father never bothered to check if any problems. I hardly slept 1-2 days a week during these years.My spouse never changed a bit during these 10 years. Her position reached a stage where I had to admit her to hospital for psychosis. She got discharged in 2 months because her parents were adamant on discharge on the condition that she will travel to India. But once discharged, she refused to travel for nearly 10 months. Her father supported her. When her mother passed away in December 2020, due to Covid her return tickets got cancelled. In December 2021 she was again in hospital for 20 days in India for similar psychological issues. In April 2022 I visited her house in India and gave her father a 4-page document detailing her behaviour during these 10 years. He simply said she has done unknowingly. He is adamant on trying to send her back to me. While I am struggling to live, her father lives a happy life with his pension. As a father he never corrects his daughter and instead tries to push the problems to me.I have asked for a divorce but she is not willing to give and starts shouting hysterically. Please let me know how to proceed.

Hello Pooja madam, my wife began hating her mother in law since last 15 years . They dont speak and dont see eye to eye. The issue was ancestor property division... Now my daughter has grown up. She will get married next year, my wife does not want to invite mother in law or even talk about them.. My wife earns more than me ... my mother in law is a widow .. how can I solve this marraige inviting problem , kindly suggest a remedy..

I am 64, retired living in own house together with wife, son and daughter -in law for last five years. Both, son and daughter are professionally qualified, well placed and earn good. The daughter - in law out of last five years stayed away for half the time for one reason or the other at her mother place. She is very egoistic and arrogant and fight with everyone in family for no great reason including, son and my married daughter whenever she comes to our place to meet us. She has an objection her coming to our place. She has ones threatened us of complaining to police and women organization, Stree Mukti Sanghatana. She makes mountain out of anthill every time so we have stopped talking to her. The couple is staying with us, we bear all family expenses and don't expect even a penny from both son and Daughter in - law as ,when ones money of Rs. 15 K was asked to, she refused and made an allegation that we want dowry in this form . Son help us with some monthly expenses every month. She is staying alone away from us for more than 6 months now. My son is also tired of her behavior. We even have approached her mother, she also keep hand on deaf ears as she also does not listen to her and one brother. Please advice, what do we do in the circumstances?

I am 64, retired living in own house together with wife, son and daughter -in law for last five years. Both, son and daughter are professionally qualified, well placed and earn good. The daughter - in law out of last five years stayed away for half the time for one reason or the other at her mother place. She is very egoistic and arrogant and fight with everyone in family for no great reason including, son and my married daughter whenever she comes to our place to meet us. She has an objection her coming to our place. She has ones threatened us of complaining to police and women organization, Stree Mukti Sanghatana. She makes mountain out of anthill every time so we have stopped talking to her. The couple is staying with us, we bear all family expenses and don't expect even a penny from both son and Daughter in - law as ,when ones money of Rs. 15 K was asked to, she refused and made an allegation that we want dowry in this form . Son help us with some monthly expenses every month. She is staying alone away from us for more than 6 months now. My son is also tired of her behavior. We even have approached her mother, she also keep hand on deaf ears as she also does not listen to her and one brother. Please advice, what do we do in the circumstances?

Hi Anu...i hv been reading ur expertise to solve the issues of people and am really impressed. We have been married for 19years now and have a son and daughter .From the start of the marriage my wife have been inclined towards her mother and her family paying less or no heed to us. Circumstances were also favorable to her and she always got the opportunity to stay close and visit her parents often which i did not mind.We lived in Mumbai and she is from Chennai.After marriage my mom-in-law used to continuosly interfere into our lives by calling her and she used to act as per her suggestions only which led to problems as she was a puppet in the hands of my Mom-in-law. Moreover since my mom-in-law was not in good health my wife tried not to over rule as she did not want her mom to feel sick as she doesnt like to be over ruled or by pass failing which she goes on hunger strike and stop taking tablets spoiling her own health. Due to this reason everybody has been appeasing her.Initially i thought to ignore but slowly it started to affect my family as well as my wife started to see things thru my mom-in-laws perspective and find faults in everything. We shifted to overseas to stay away from all these and we really had a good life for 10 years there but since i lost job during covid i had to shift base to India for my son's education but she chose to stay back there with my daughter as she is working there.I too felt that let her spend some time so that i could settle things in India and call her but it is more than 2 years now and she refuses to come back and dont even care for us and neither call us as family. I tried to involve my in-laws to convince her but they are also playing a diplomatic game and doesnt want to go against their daughter's wish.Due to this attitude of my mom-in-law their own daughter-in-laws have been staying away and since my in-laws stay alone my wife feels that she is the only support system for her parents but it has come on my life's sacrifice. She has been ignoring us and even i kept moving for the sake of my family and children instead of respecting my feelings she has become more adamant now.Her brother is also seperated from her wife and he also looks forward for a support system from my daughter and my wife and they seem close ignoring myself and my son.We have been trying to convince her thru all means but she is caring. Even i feel that it is futile to force someone into relationship but she unknowingly spoiling my family and deprieve my son the mother;s love and also depreive my daughter from affection and love.Due to this my son has also stopped expecting from her and my daughter treats me as a stranger due to long distance. Pls suggest the way forward. Shud i wait for things to improve or leave as it is.I am 47 now and she is 45..told her that let us enjoy the best things in life rather than regretting later but she does not understand.

My marriage was arranged in our comminity about 20 years ago. However i found that my wife was too lazy and lacked common sense and basic IQ probably due to the upbringing by her parents. She required a lot of push to go to even a partime school to keep herself busy. She couldnt get along well with my parents either . I still adjusted with her although she knew nothing about bonding and it appeared a clearcut onesided relationship with me putting in all efforts to bond However in 2007 after we had a child, she ubknowingly started neglecting me all the more and it was evident that i was just married to b a breadwinner although i went out of my way to provide them all the comforts. I has expressed this to my inlaws and they appeared apologetic initially She neglected the daughter as well and i found that my daughter had been faring v poorly in exams and failing while my wife gav her access to mobile at age of 11 and she started encouraging her to build relationship with guys Now that she has moved with her parents along with the child in her custody, she and my inlaws are demanding money from me although i have paid her far more than she earned. They assume that i have to keep paying them money Need your advice to handle this