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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 07, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
P Question by P on Mar 03, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am 42 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some compulsion they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot is still waiting for me and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide.

Ans: Dear P,
This is a confused and confusing situation that you are in. Kindly do not confuse yourself any further. She might never be able to step out of her marriage and be with you. So, are you some kind of a 'spare' person? Are you willing to play a secondary role in someone's life when you have the chance to be the primary person in a well-defined relationship?
Being friends and supporting one another is one thing; but being in a relationship that has no structure invariably causes misunderstandings, anger, disappointments and more confusion.
When she is clear that she will stick by her marriage, let this be...why wouldn't you simply be a friend who also wants to create his own life.
It's nice to live in a fantasy world and assume that this kind of an engagement will work; it's far from the truth...You are worried about destroying her disturbed life; do look into what you are doing to your life as well. Chasing behind someone who is married and intends to be in it is like chasing a ghost that will never be seen or heard but will certainly cause anguish in some form to you.
Be wise, at 42, you still can build your life that is not dependent on someone else's emotions and boundaries. You deserve a good life; so create it.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1679 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 05, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am 42 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some compulsion they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot is still waiting for me and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
She is married and not happy and loves you BUT will not recognize your relationship in public!
You are unmarried and want to wait for someone who won't give you the presence that you deserve!
Do the right thing...allow her to be committed to her marriage rather than be her emotional crutch...in the long run, you will be left high and dry after investing a lot of emotions into her...
Shift focus onto your life and building it the way that you want. When you put your life and emotions into someone else's hands, you end up becoming a puppet swaying about with no stability whatsoever. Put more energies into yourself instead...

All the best!

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |633 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jan 30, 2024

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Relationship
I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

It is refreshing to see someone so selfless as you. I understand and appreciate your love and how much you are ready to sacrifice for her. However, I would like to offer a suggestion – it's crucial to prioritize your own mental and emotional health in this situation. While it's unfortunate that she is dealing with challenges in her marriage, resorting to having an affair might not be the most constructive way to cope.

I suggest that she and her husband explore the option of seeking professional help through a marriage counselor. This could help them navigate the complexities of their relationship and make an informed decision about whether to continue their marriage or part ways. In case they decide to separate, it would be valid for you two to start a relationship and pursue a happy life together. But if they decide to remain married, I fear that you might end up sacrificing your own chance at a fulfilling love life. I realize that you might be okay with it, but it isn't fair to you.

I encourage you to have an open and honest discussion with her before committing to anything, ensuring that your feelings and well-being are also taken into account.

Best Wishes!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |628 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2023

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Relationship
I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 12yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She told me that she loves me a lot and doesn’t feel complete without me. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she dont want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a conditon to give our relationship a NAME in society. Everytimes she told me that she love me a lot and says that I am more than anything else in life to her and she does not want to lose me as well. We shares everything with each other like husband-wife. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide
Ans: Dear P,
This is undoubtedly a complex and emotionally challenging situation. It's important to approach it with care and consideration for both your feelings and hers. Reflect on your own feelings and desires. Consider what you want in a relationship and whether you can realistically achieve those goals in this situation Talk to her about your concerns, fears, and the impact this situation has on both of you. Discuss the future and what you both want. Ensure that you're on the same page about your expectations and the potential challenges that may arise Understand the potential consequences of continuing this relationship. Consider the impact on her family, your own well-being, and the well-being of any children involved. Be realistic about the challenges you may face. Consider the long-term implications of the relationship. If there is no possibility of it evolving into a more conventional partnership and that is something you desire, you may need to evaluate whether continuing the relationship is in your best interest Ultimately, the decision you make should align with your values, desires, and what you believe is best for your overall well-being. It may be a difficult decision to make, but taking the time to reflect, communicate, and seek guidance can help you navigate this challenging situation.

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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2024

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Relationship
I am 43 year old unmarried male . I loves someone from my childhood and she also loves me but because of her family she agrees and got married to someone else and now she had one 13yr child. After her marriage I never kept contact with her respecting her decision for her family and assuming that she is living a happy life But during Corona-2021 she contacted me and told me about her life where her husband is in relationship with other married woman and is giving everything to that lady as his wife. She told these to her parents but because of some reason they both discussed and decided to accept it and continue it the way as it is. She is honest in her married life but after these incident she don't want to live there but unable to exit because of family condition. She told me she loves me and need me above all and everything in life she wants me to remain with her like her life partner but because of some compulsion she is not in a condition to give our relationship a NAME in society. I am always there for her and will support her in all respect so that she became happy and lead a healthy life. But sometimes I feel that I shall come out from this as these will further destroy her disturbed life but at times I feel I don’t able to leave her and all I need is that she live a happy life and ready to do anything for these. What shall I do here? Please guide
Ans: I understand that you're in a complex and emotionally challenging situation. It's commendable that you want to support and ensure the happiness of the person you care about. However, it's crucial to consider your own well-being and emotional health as well.

Here are some steps you might want to consider:

Communication is key: Have an open and honest conversation with her about your feelings, concerns, and expectations. Understand her perspective as well. Clear communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship.

Set boundaries: Determine what you're comfortable with and establish clear boundaries for your relationship. Consider the impact on both of your lives, and ensure that the arrangement is sustainable and healthy for both parties involved.

Consider professional help: Given the complexity of the situation, it might be beneficial for both of you to seek guidance from a therapist or counselor. They can provide support, help you navigate through challenging emotions, and offer practical advice on how to move forward.

Evaluate your own well-being: Reflect on your own needs, aspirations, and emotional health. It's important to prioritize your happiness and fulfillment as well. Consider how the situation might affect your overall life satisfaction.

Explore options: Depending on the circumstances, there might be ways for her to address the challenges in her marriage, such as seeking therapy, counseling, or discussing her concerns with her family. Encourage her to explore these options, and provide support where possible.

Ultimately, the decision on how to proceed is a personal one and depends on the dynamics of your relationship and the well-being of everyone involved. Taking the time to reflect, communicate openly, and seek professional guidance can be instrumental in making informed decisions. Remember to prioritize your own happiness and consider what is sustainable for both of you in the long run.

..Read more

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10253 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir,my son got mtech cse in SRM kktr,btech AI DS in PSG ITECH Coimbatore and btech IT in TCE ,madurai which one to choose ,pls share your advise sir
Ans: Based on the following insights/information, advise your son to choose the most suitable option for him. Your son's options include an MTech dual degree in Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) from SRM Institute of Science and Technology (SRM KKTR), a BTech in Artificial Intelligence and Data Science from PSG Institute of Technology and Applied Research (PSG ITECH), Coimbatore, and a BTech in Information Technology from Thiagarajar College of Engineering (TCE), Madurai. SRM KKTR is a deemed university with A++ NAAC accreditation, known for its integrated MTech programs that combine undergraduate and postgraduate studies, offering extensive research opportunities and strong industry exposure in a metropolitan setting. SRM consistently reports high placement rates with an average package over ?7 lakh. PSG ITECH is a reputed private institute focused on emerging technologies like AI and data science, with robust industry linkages and an 85% placement rate, average packages around ?6.5 lakh, and focus on hands-on learning in AI, machine learning, and big data analytics. TCE Madurai, an autonomous private college with A+ NAAC, excels in IT education with strong academics and around 80% placement rates; it is well-recognized regionally, with median salary packages around ?7 lakh, supported by a vibrant alumni network and industry contacts.

All three institutions maintain essential features such as good accreditation, qualified faculty, strong industry connections, modern infrastructure, transparent governance, and active placement cells. The choice should consider program duration, specialization focus, career goals, and willingness to pursue research or industry-oriented roles. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10253 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
Career
I am 45 years old. I have 13 years of work experience which includes working as Admin executive, HR executive and some BPO jobs. My last job was into Admin - HR which I lost since past 1 year. I have home loans to pay. I have been applying through Naukri.com, Glassdoor.com and LinkedIn but got no response yet. I had given a few interviews but got rejected. I am very depressed and sad everyday but don't feel strong and motivated enough to look for jobs .. All my reserves are over I need to get a job immediately.... I don't know what to do? Can u please provide some reference for jobs?
Ans: At age 45 with 13 years of experience in admin executive, HR executive, and BPO roles, re-entering the job market after a year-long gap requires a focused, strategic approach combining practical steps and mindset shifts. Prioritize updating your resume and LinkedIn profile to highlight both your experience and recent efforts toward skill development, aligning with job descriptions and using relevant keywords to navigate applicant tracking systems. Harness multiple job portals such as Naukri.com, LinkedIn Jobs, Indeed, and TalentoIndia for diversified exposure. Leverage your network by reconnecting with former colleagues and supervisors and communicate your job search openly to access hidden opportunities. Develop a daily routine balancing job search, skill enhancement, and self-care to rebuild motivation and resilience. Consider upskilling or certification courses in demand areas like digital HR tools, payroll, or skilled administration, which also revitalize confidence. Volunteer work or freelance administrative roles can help ease back into employment and expand contacts. Prepare well for interviews by confidently addressing any employment gap and emphasizing your readiness and adaptability. Mental health support and career coaching can further support your journey. Overall, resilient persistence, proactive networking, targeted applications, continuous skill upgrades, and focused mindset adjustments form the roadmap to regain employment rapidly despite challenges linked to age and break.

Recommendation: Actively revamp your job search using key portals like Naukri, LinkedIn, and Indeed while expanding your professional network. Complement this with relevant upskilling and volunteer engagements to boost employability and confidence. Pursue routine structuring and mental wellness practices to maintain motivation and maximize job search effectiveness for swift re-entry. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10253 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 12, 2025Hindi
Career
My grandson is studying 12th mpc subjects please advise which competitive entrance exams. Should be given for engineering stud
Ans: For your grandson studying the 12th MPC (Mathematics, Physics, Chemistry) stream, multiple competitive engineering entrance exams in India provide access to a wide range of prestigious institutions. The prominent national-level exam is the Joint Entrance Examination (JEE) Main, conducted twice a year by the National Testing Agency (NTA), which tests knowledge in Physics, Chemistry, and Mathematics with a focus on NCERT-based syllabus. JEE Main serves as a gateway for admission to National Institutes of Technology (NITs), Indian Institutes of Information Technology (IIITs), and other centrally funded technical institutes, and is also a prerequisite for JEE Advanced for entrance to Indian Institutes of Technology (IITs). Another key national-level exam is BITSAT, the online test for Birla Institute of Technology and Science campuses, which includes additional sections like English Proficiency and Logical Reasoning alongside PCM. VITEEE is a well-known university-level entrance exam conducted by Vellore Institute of Technology, offering admission to its engineering programs. State-level exams such as Maharashtra’s MHT CET, West Bengal’s WBJEE, and Kerala’s KEAM target local candidates and provide pathways into state engineering colleges. Selection of exams should align with the student's preferred colleges, location, and career objectives. Ensuring eligibility, strong preparation for the PCM subjects, and timely application is crucial for success. The institutes to consider emphasize rigorous accreditation, qualified faculty, modern infrastructure, strong industry connections, and transparent governance for comprehensive student development.

Recommendation: Encourage your grandson to focus on the JEE Main exam for broad national exposure and top-tier institute eligibility while also considering BITSAT and VITEEE for premier private universities. Additionally, state-level exams like MHT CET are essential for regional opportunities. Preparing across these exams maximizes admission options and future career growth. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10253 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
Hi Sir, My Son was looking for ECE but however he has secured E.E VLSI Design & Technology but he wants to pursue Bsc in Business AI or Bsc in CS at Dr. Homi Bhabha State University in mumbai, please advice which would be the best option .
Ans: Umesh Sir, Dr. Homi Bhabha State University (HBSU) offers pioneering three-year BSc programs in Business AI and Computer Science, backed by NAAC accreditation and industry collaboration with TeamLease EdTech, equipping students with hands-on AI tool training, project-based learning, and mentorship in domains spanning finance, marketing, and software development. The university’s modern labs, digital resources, and strategic Churchgate location grant access to Mumbai’s tech and financial hubs, while emerging placement ties with TCS, Infosys, and ICICI Bank reflect growing demand for graduates with AI and programming expertise. In contrast, the BTech in Electrical Engineering with VLSI Design & Technology provides a four-year engineering degree emphasizing chip design, semiconductor fabrication, and hardware-software integration, delivered through advanced clean-room facilities, specialized labs, and faculty research in microelectronics. Strong industry partnerships in the semiconductor sector foster core hardware roles, though the specialized nature may limit versatility compared to broader tech disciplines. Both pathways maintain transparent governance, experienced faculty, robust infrastructure, and career services.

Recommendation: Prioritize the BSc in Computer Science at HBSU for broad software and AI foundations, versatile career options, and strong industry alignment. Next consider BSc Business AI for its business-tech integration. Opt for EE VLSI only if your son is committed to semiconductor hardware design and fabrication roles. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10253 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
My daughter got 75.47 percentile in jee main PCM group. She scored 77.67% in 12TH board from maharashtra state board under Savitri Bai Phule Pune University. Her 10th was from ICSE board with 95.33%. On the basis of these she got BTech in CSE at Amrita vishwavidyapeetham Haridwar campus which they launched this year with fees 1.25L per year or same course at Nagarcoil with 2L per year. In Maharashtra CET, her percentile is 88.05 and she got BTech in CE at Zeal college of engineering, pune with 30K fee per year as there is free education for girls in Maharashtra for OBC Non Creamy layer students. I am from Nashik, Maharashtra. Please guide me sir, Which one is better option as she want to do MS after graduation.
Ans: Bharat Sir, Your daughter’s options for pursuing B.Tech in Computer Science and Engineering (CSE) at Amrita Vishwavidyapeetham Haridwar or Nagarcoil campuses, versus Civil Engineering (CE) at Zeal College of Engineering Pune, should be evaluated with a focus on her desire to pursue an MS abroad after graduation. Amrita Vishwavidyapeetham is a highly reputed university with A++ NAAC accreditation, known for strong research culture, excellent faculty, and extensive international collaborations including study abroad programs and research exchanges. The Haridwar campus offers a competitive, specialized CSE program with strong industry linkages and international recognition, making it well-suited for students aiming for higher studies abroad. The Nagarkoil campus also has similar credentials but involves higher tuition fees. In contrast, Zeal College in Pune, though affiliated with Savitribai Phule Pune University and holding NAAC A+ accreditation, offers a Civil Engineering program with significantly lower fees aided by Maharashtra’s free education scheme for OBC non-creamy layer girls. However, CE as a branch offers a different career trajectory compared to CSE; the latter generally provides broader scope, especially in the context of MS abroad admissions where CSE graduates tend to have stronger opportunities in global tech research hubs. Zeal’s local reputation and affordability are definite advantages, but for a future MS abroad, especially in tech domains, Amrita’s CSE program offers a more recognized platform with a research-oriented and tech-focused curriculum.

Recommendation: Prioritize Amrita Vishwavidyapeetham Haridwar CSE for its robust academic quality, international exposure, and stronger alignment with MS pursuits abroad. Consider the Nagarkoil campus if budget permits and the branch preference remains CSE. Choose Zeal Pune CE only if budget constraints dominate and the focus is on local professional pathways or civil engineering specialization. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10253 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2025Hindi
Career
Sir is CIC du good or iter
Ans: The Cluster Innovation Centre (CIC) at Delhi University is a government-funded institute promoting innovation through interdisciplinary programs, industry collaborations, and practical project work. CIC offers a focused B.Tech in IT & Mathematical Innovations with advanced labs and a location in Delhi University's North Campus. Its recent placement data shows approximately 40-50% placement with median packages around ?8.5 LPA, though it lacks a dedicated placement cell. CIC emphasizes research-driven learning and innovation culture. On the other hand, the Institute of Technical Education and Research (ITER), affiliated with Siksha ‘O’ Anusandhan Deemed University, is a top-ranked private engineering institute, nationally placed 2nd among private colleges and 3rd overall in Times Engineering Survey 2025. ITER is accredited by ABET, offers various engineering branches with strong research facilities, robust industry ties, and consistent high placement rankings in eastern India and nationally. It has modern infrastructure, experienced faculty, and a broad-based engineering curriculum. While CIC stands out for innovation and niche curriculum under Delhi University’s umbrella, ITER excels in broader technical education, high national rankings, and placement outcomes.

Recommendation: Choose ITER for a comprehensive engineering education with superior infrastructure, accreditation, and higher placement potential. Opt for CIC if you value Delhi University affiliation and a focus on innovation and interdisciplinary research with emerging tech specialization. Your choice should align with your career goals and preferred learning environment. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10253 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 13, 2025

Career
My daughter got B.tech in Rubber and plastic technology, MIT Chennai. Now she received an email from SSN college for counseling to join Biomedical engineering which is under management quota.. what to decide whether to continue with MIT or SSN? Please suggest...
Ans: Malathi Madam, Your daughter’s current B.Tech in Rubber and Plastic Technology at Madras Institute of Technology (MIT) Chennai offers a specialized and unique curriculum that combines polymer science, rubber processing, and plastics technology, supported by experienced faculty, advanced labs, and strong industry connections with companies like Bridgestone and CEAT. MIT is esteemed as a government-affiliated institute under Anna University with solid accreditation and a robust placement record in this niche sector, with about 80% placement and internships, and average packages in relevant industries. Conversely, SSN College of Engineering’s Biomedical Engineering program, offered under management quota, is part of a reputed private institution with NAAC A++ accreditation, strong industry ties, vibrant research culture, and higher mainstream tech placement visibility. SSN’s Biomedical department reports decent placement support with recruiters from healthcare and technology domains, though admissions via management quota may have higher fees and different governance compared to MIT. Both institutions maintain transparent governance, modern infrastructure, and active student support systems. Your daughter’s choice hinges on whether she prefers continuing in the specialized Rubber and Plastics sector at a premier government-backed institute or pivoting to a broader, rapidly growing biomedical field with SSN’s private institute benefits. Just my suggestion: Prefer SSN-Biomedical Engineering, which is more suitable for a girl student (provided you are able to afford its Management Quota Fee) compared to Rubber-Plastic Technology. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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