My wife expired on july 2022. Now I am living with my son who is 25 yrs of age still unmarried & unemployed .I am 60 years old and retiring from the service of PSU in July 2023.I always feel the devastation. what to do now

Ans: Dear Praveen,
It is unfortunate the way things have turned out in your life; but it does not mean that it has to be that way even now and in the future.
Brooding over what you don't have will only make you feel miserable. Rather than tell yourself that you don't want to be lonely, why don't you tell yourself that you want a life filled with people and interesting experiences. The brain then starts to search for ways to keep you with people and surround you with experiences.
Now all you have done is fill it with miserable thoughts of loneliness.
SNAP!
You are only as lonely as you think you are! This is a Digital age and you know this that you are connected with people from across the world in a moment's time.
What you have not chosen to see is: How can I make an effort to connect with people so that I feel a sense a belonging?
So, see this clearly and move to answer this question.
Hobbies within a circle, Trekking groups, Music groups, Social movement groups? Name it, it's there!
Pick what you can identify with the most and know that you can find like-minded people...
If there is a hobby that you had to leave mid-way, pursue that NOW!

So instead of anticipating the future and living there, come back to the NOW and focus on what you can do to feel happier with a sense of belonging.
Making sense?

All the best!

Ans: I think your should continue as long as you are healthy and like your job. You can possibly slow down and not take additional projects so that you spend more time for self and family

Ans: Dear Ashok,
I am truly sorry for your loss...
What you are looking for is something people used to put out as an ad in the newspaper...well, you might try your luck through the old route as well.
Another place that I see 60+ individuals find like-minded people is exclusive trips organized for senior citizens. You can go onto the internet to get more information on this. This will enable you to travel and see places and also connect with similar people with similar interests.
You can also join organizations like Rotary where people meet and who knows you might come across someone who shares your thoughts and views.
There are also Dating apps for the older population which again you can try and figure out if that is the place that you want to explore.
What you are looking at is perhaps driving away your loneliness and what I am suggesting is ways in which you can connect with different people which may lead to you finding a companion for yourself.

All the best!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry for your loss...this is a very challenging period in your life and I can't even imagine how you must feel...
I can only request you to pull yourself together for the sake of your children and YES, they need you now more than ever. And you need someone who can help you through this.
My suggestion is: To work with someone who can will guide you through this Grief. Does this mean that you will get over this? NO, you are always going to feel the void of your husband BUT the way you channel the sadness, the grief is what this expert will help you do...it is necessary and I wish I could hold your hand at this very moment and tell you to take this one day at a time and NEVER GIVE UP. Your loving husband would never want you to do that.
Live one day, one moment at a time. Each moment will bring in different colors of emotions; flow with it...and this gets a bit better with someone guiding you through it...
Please Please, seek HELP...Ask a family member who can emotionally be your strength to live with you and help you with the children as well.
Life has its mysterious ways of working and sometimes it can get very unfair. But, how you negotiate it, be there for the children and allow them to be there for you with their love and smiles. Seek HELP and NOW...
I am not going to say get better OR you that you will get over it...But I will say: You are going to pull through this; give yourself that chance, please...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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