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Widow of 37 devastated after sudden loss of husband, contemplates suicide with children: How to cope?

Anu Krishna |1186 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 20, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 11, 2024Hindi

Iam a widow of 37 years who recently lost my hus of 37 years due to silent heart attack. It was all of a sudden incident and he was a military person having no health issues.This really shocked our entire family. He expired on June 1st 2024 and I am in a deep trauma. I dont know wat to do and always thinking of committing suicide with my children. I cant live without my hus, he is such a caring , loving hus and an amazing father for my children. I dont want to live anymore.I want to go ..I dont want anything from this life. I have two children one daughter of 7 years and son of 1 year. I cant lead a peaceful life hereafter.I want to go and have to join back with my husband.I dont know what to do?Ourself is love marriage and I cant came out from this trauma.. I am in a deep deep depression. I thought it would be Ok as days pass by....but its vetting more worse as each day passes by... please help me out from this...

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I am truly sorry for your loss...this is a very challenging period in your life and I can't even imagine how you must feel...
I can only request you to pull yourself together for the sake of your children and YES, they need you now more than ever. And you need someone who can help you through this.
My suggestion is: To work with someone who can will guide you through this Grief. Does this mean that you will get over this? NO, you are always going to feel the void of your husband BUT the way you channel the sadness, the grief is what this expert will help you do...it is necessary and I wish I could hold your hand at this very moment and tell you to take this one day at a time and NEVER GIVE UP. Your loving husband would never want you to do that.
Live one day, one moment at a time. Each moment will bring in different colors of emotions; flow with it...and this gets a bit better with someone guiding you through it...
Please Please, seek HELP...Ask a family member who can emotionally be your strength to live with you and help you with the children as well.
Life has its mysterious ways of working and sometimes it can get very unfair. But, how you negotiate it, be there for the children and allow them to be there for you with their love and smiles. Seek HELP and NOW...
I am not going to say get better OR you that you will get over it...But I will say: You are going to pull through this; give yourself that chance, please...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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I am unable to overcome the guilt and grief of losing my father due to Covid since a year now. My guilt and grief is only increasing daily. I feel suicidal everyday almost most of the time. I have a younger brother, younger sister and mom. I am only alive, but I am ready to die any moment. Just holding on somehow because I am worried about my family. What should I do as I only feel deep sadness and guilt and I am unable to work and support my family.

Ans: Dear S, your grief is personal to you and I can only imagine what you must be going through.

Loved ones leave us to grieve after them and we only go deeper into that well of grief.

But I want you ask yourself this: Will my father be happy to see me this way?

Is this why he raised me to see me in grief?

Is my family happy seeing me like this?

Can I do anything to get myself to a better state of mind?

Suicide is never ever an option.

Every life must be celebrated just like you celebrated your father’s life when he was with you.

Continue in that; celebrate him, relive memories with him and talk to people about what a wonderful human he was.

Pass on his values that rest in you and your siblings to whoever you meet and that will help you remember him for all the beautiful things that he brought into your lives.

Call for a family gathering and each of you talk about him fondly and how he added value in your lives.

Celebrate people when they live and celebrate their memories when they leave you.

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