hello Mohit, I'm scared every time I try and communicate with my boyfriend about relationship issues in the past, what can I do to ease my mind when opening up?

Ans: if the relationship is important to you - then both need to give it priority for now - which means focus on the relationship - even if it requires to take off from work. Do keep in mind, to keep your cool, atleast one has to be calm... Do also be prepared for angst too - having said this, if you decide to get back - then it is important that you will need to forget and forgive and look forward to building your life again. ps: just know you are not unique - 90% of best relationships face challenges as you are facing and overcome them because they wish to. All the best.

Ans: It's understandable to feel hesitant about sharing your past given your previous experience. Trust and transparency are important in a relationship, but timing and context matter as well. Since your fiancé has already shared some of his past with you, this indicates he values openness. However, your past experiences have taught you to be cautious. It might be helpful to observe and build trust in your current relationship before disclosing your past. If your fiancé continues to show understanding and kindness, it could create a safe space for you to share more about yourself. When you do decide to share, frame it as a way to build deeper trust and intimacy, emphasizing that past experiences have shaped who you are today. If he truly respects and cares for you, he will appreciate your honesty and the strength it took to share your story. Remember, the right partner will support and accept all parts of your journey.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
How will it matter if your boyfriend knows about your mother being in the know about your past relationship?
Why will he be bothered by it? I just don't understand why this is an issue of you or anyone?

Your words:
i have told about this to my boyfriend but should I tell him that she knows about my past also.
My thoughts:
What will this do if you tell him that she knows about your past?

Your words:
Would he be okay with it or he will get upset about it that i haven't told him about this prior?
My thoughts:
Maybe you should tell him about your past and not worry that he should know that your mother knows about your past

I still feel what you actually want to ask me is not very clear to you; be honest with yourself so that when you ask your question you will be able to get better guidance from me...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: The first thing to consider is that trust is something that takes time to build, and it is not something you can simply “prove” by answering his questions or explaining yourself over and over again. Trust is a process that requires consistent actions over time, and both partners need to contribute to that process. While you’re being open and transparent, it’s also important that your husband acknowledges that trust is a two-way street. He may have unresolved issues or past experiences that make it difficult for him to feel secure, and these need to be addressed if you want to move forward in a healthy way.

One of the challenges you face is the need for patience—both with him and with yourself. Reassuring your husband is important, but it’s equally important to create a space for deeper conversations about the root of his insecurities. Have you been able to sit down with him and gently ask what specifically triggers his doubts? You may want to approach this from a place of curiosity and care, without getting defensive. Understanding the underlying causes of his fears can give you both a clearer sense of how to work together to address them.

At the same time, it’s important to set emotional boundaries for yourself. While you want to support your husband, you shouldn’t feel like you need to constantly prove your loyalty or justify your actions. If you find yourself repeating the same explanations or feeling pressured to give constant reassurances, it can be emotionally draining. It’s okay to acknowledge his fears, but also to let him know that trust is something that needs to be built over time, and you need space to nurture the relationship without feeling constantly questioned.

In cases where trust issues persist despite your best efforts, it can sometimes be helpful to involve a third party, like a therapist or counselor. It may feel intimidating or unnecessary at first, but professional help can provide a neutral space for both of you to explore deeper issues—whether they are related to past experiences, emotional insecurities, or patterns of behavior. A counselor can also guide you in having more productive conversations and finding healthier ways to cope with these challenges as a couple.

Finally, remember that this process is not just about reassuring your husband, but also about protecting your own emotional wellbeing. You are not responsible for his insecurities, and while you can support him, you also deserve a relationship where you feel seen, heard, and trusted. It’s important to take care of your emotional health, too, and to know that you deserve a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. Healing takes time, and while the journey may not be easy, with the right support and communication, it is possible for both of you to work through this.