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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 29, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 28, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My younger brother says bad things about my wife and her family but only in front of me, not my wife. My parents also don't scold him. My wife is very good and takes care of everyone in house, she thinks of my brother as her own brother. What should I do

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly stand up for your wife; your younger brother may not get along well with your wife or not like certain aspects about her but he has no right to talk behind her back and especially to you. Put an end to it so that you draw a clear boundary on this, one that he does not cross. Why are you expecting your parents to do the deed? You must step in and call out this behavior of hers as it is disrespectful to your wife. So, kindly do the needful...
Family relationships however close must have boundaries around them as they help in keeping them healthy and clear.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 30, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband always takes sides of his younger brother even when he is wrong. He lives in village and I go there occasionally. Once I had a fight with his brother and he sided him, leaving me in tears. After that I stopped talking to his brother and would only communicate with him when necessary. His behaviour towards me is very disrespectful. He stopped saying hello etc. I did not react. Though he did not say anything, but his behaviour towards me is very rude and disrespctful. When I told this to my husband he said that I say so many things against his brother to him so I did not deserve his brother's respect. His brother's behaviour did not hurt me as he does not matter to me. However, my husband's taking his brother's side hurt me a lot. This has always been the case. I am unable to forgive my husband for taking his brother's side and disrespecting me. Please advise me how I can tolerate my husband and avoid the hatred thoughts from my mind.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At times, i do ponder over whether Blood is indeed thicker than water!
Since the brother lives in the village and possibly doesn't visit your home often, the best thing is to think of him as that visitor who comes once in every while when there is an occasion at home.
How do we deal with these visitors?
Do we think of them everyday and every moment?
Are we obsessed as to how each member of the family interact with them?

So, the key for you is to treat him in your mind as that visitor and bother about him only when that occasional village trip happens or when he visits. As for what your husband does with that visitor (his brother) is solely his business and not for you to dictate or plan. Because the more you are going to demand that your husband only supports you, the more he is going to fight it and become soft with his brother.
So, now are you still going to be bothered about that visitor having hurt you in the past and rob yourself of a better time now? Think about it!

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |552 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 02, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 01, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am asking regarding my younger brother who is 30 YO.I see him frequently complain about our one particular female neighbour and her family who are basically tenants in one of the rented apartment in front of our house.Due to close proximity to our house,its not difficult to overhear if they talk with others standing on their balcony or turn TV or music deck sound high in their home.Few years back, somehow my brother who lives upstairs witnessed that neighbour lady mimicking my mother by copying her dialogue of how my mom stopped my brother to go out to work during COVID 19 pandemic.He says he saw her mimicking my mom in front of another neighbour lady who lives adjacent to our home with whom we used to share very good terms when their kids were school going but many years back that neighbour lady stopped interactions with my mom.It was weird because that neighbour aunty's kids used to come to our home for studying from my mom and dad who were doing free tutitions just to help neighbours kids. The issue is my brother is so much affected by that front house neighbour lady that he keeps a tab on them most of the time and keeps telling my mother how that lady mimicked her which mom asks him to stop repeating.I feel he also overheard her comments regarding him which were something like "he lives alone upstairs" etc.My brother is always telling about that neighbour lady and how she is not good and how she keeps passing comments etc.We also suspect them to be throwing stuff in our balcony frequently which contains toffees wrappers,mobile wire etc junk. My main concern is my brother who is always showing anger and displeasure to have that neighbour lady.I saw him many times looking at her home from our balcony and then he shares with mother which she dont like to hear all the time.I feel my brother is not at peace ve ause of his dislike towards our front house neighbour lady. Can you suggest regarding this situation with my brother and how we can address it?
Ans: It's understandable that your brother's feelings and concerns about the neighbor have been affecting him negatively. It's important to address the situation in a way that promotes a healthier and more peaceful environment for him. Here are some suggestions on how to handle this situation:

Encourage Open Communication: Talk to your brother openly about his feelings and frustrations regarding the neighbor. Encourage him to express his emotions and concerns without judgment. Sometimes, just having someone listen to his feelings can be very helpful.
Suggest Avoiding Confrontation: Advise your brother not to confront the neighbor directly about his feelings or suspicions. Engaging in conflicts might escalate the situation and lead to further stress and tension.
Distract from Negative Thoughts: Help your brother find activities or hobbies that can distract him from dwelling on negative thoughts about the neighbor. Engaging in positive and enjoyable activities can help shift his focus away from the situation.
Encourage Positive Interactions: Encourage your brother to interact with other neighbors or friends who have a more positive impact on his life. This way, he can build positive relationships and not be solely fixated on the negative one.
Suggest Seeking Professional Help: If your brother's feelings and thoughts about the neighbor are significantly affecting his mental well-being and day-to-day life, it might be beneficial for him to talk to a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and support to help him cope with these feelings in a healthier way.
Set Boundaries with Your Brother: It's essential for your family to establish boundaries with your brother regarding how much he talks about the neighbor. If your mother is uncomfortable hearing about it constantly, kindly ask him to share his feelings with a close friend or a professional if needed.
Encourage Empathy: Try to foster empathy in your brother by encouraging him to see things from the neighbor's perspective. Perhaps the neighbor may have her own struggles or issues that could explain her behavior. While this doesn't excuse any negative actions, understanding can help reduce his anger and frustration.
Promote Self-Care: Encourage your brother to engage in self-care practices, such as exercise, mindfulness, or relaxation techniques. Taking care of his mental and emotional well-being is essential during challenging times.
Mediation: If tensions between your family and the neighbors continue to rise, consider involving a mediator or authority figure, like a community leader, to help address any conflicts and find a resolution.
Remember, it's essential to address your brother's concerns and emotions while promoting a peaceful and respectful resolution to the situation. Being proactive in finding positive ways to cope with his feelings can lead to a more harmonious living environment for everyone involved.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1545 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 04, 2025
Relationship
I have a cousin brother (21 years). He is 5 years elder than me. His father & my father are own brothers. His father is also 5 years elder than my father. I am concerned about something. My cousin brother always orders my mother (40 years old) for such things who nobody wants to do. She obeys him always quietly without any hesitation. Like if he ask her to bath twice or thrice in a day, then she will bath thrice in a day. If he ask her to dance, then she will dance also. If he ask her to press his legs, then she will press his legs. If he ask her to not to eat anything, then she will not eat anything. She is totally behaving like his slave. I told about it to my father. He ignored my words & called it rubbish. I asked my mother why she is behaving like this, but she doesn't answer. I asked my cousin brother why is he doing like this & why is my mother obeying his words, he said it's none of my business. Can you please help & tell what's going on ??
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is kind of strange to see your mother act like this around him. This is definitely not something usual or causal and there is something deeper than what you can see or understand.
Does you father and his brother also notice the same or are they pretending to not notice it? This could give you a good understanding of what is going on. If your father is ignoring it, then kindly ask him to take some time out and explain this to you. On your part, spend more time with your mother; take her out, shop together, show her some fun time...encourage her to pursue some hobby or educational learning classes outside of home. When she starts to feel good about herself and does things for herself, she might be able to stand up for herself and push this fellow away.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4275 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 06, 2025

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Career
My son is completing 12th. He is interested in Graphics design. What are the options in this field to study?
Ans: Pradeep Sir, Graphic design offers numerous career opportunities in advertising, branding, publishing, digital media, gaming, and animation. A Bachelor's Degree in Design (B.Des) in Graphic Design or Communication Design is a 4-year degree that provides in-depth knowledge of graphic design, typography, branding, and digital design. Top colleges offering B.Des include National Institute of Design (NID), MIT Institute of Design, Symbiosis Institute of Design, Srishti Institute of Art, Design and Technology, UPES School of Design, and Anant National University. A Bachelor's Degree in Fine Arts (BFA) in Applied Arts or Graphic Design is a 3-4 year course focusing on artistic skills along with graphic design. Diploma courses in Graphic Design are also available, such as MAAC, Arena Animation, Pearl Academy, and National Institute of Fashion Technology. Online graphic design courses can be a flexible option for flexibility. After completing studies, graphic designers can work in advertising agencies, branding and marketing firms, digital media and social media companies, e-commerce and IT companies, publishing and print media, gaming and animation (2D graphic designer), and freelance. IMPORTANT NOTE: As already March has started, it is advisable to apply for 3-4 entrance exams of concerned Colleges and also UCEED, NID-DAT, SEED, MIT-DAT, SEAT, NIFT, Pearl Academy etc. If your son wants to study in top government institutes, he should prepare for UCEED or NID DAT.
If he prefers top private design colleges, exams like SEED, MIT DAT, SEAT, UPES DAT, and Pearl Academy are good choices.
If he is open to fine arts-based programs, NIFT and BFA Applied Arts exams (like MH-AAC CET for J.J. Institute of Applied Art, Mumbai) are also good options. All the best for your Son's admissions, Pradeep Sir!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4275 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 06, 2025

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Career
My daughter is in 12th and she wants to pursue design as her career not the fashion and interior one but on the IT side. Does this career option have a good career prospects. What are the good colleges where she can do her bachelor degree from which has good placements.
Ans: Tarunima Madam, It's great that your daughter is interested in pursuing a design career in the IT field.

The IT field, also known as UI/UX Design, Interaction Design, or Digital Product Design, offers excellent career prospects due to the growing demand for user-friendly digital products. Companies are actively seeking skilled designers who can create intuitive and aesthetically pleasing digital interfaces. The demand for UX/UI designers, product designers, and interaction designers is growing globally, with diverse opportunities in tech companies, startups, e-commerce platforms, banking & fintech, healthcare, and gaming. Top UI/UX designers in India and abroad earn competitive salaries, with entry-level packages ranging between ?6-12 LPA in top companies. This field also allows for freelance work and global job opportunities.

The demand for innovative designers will continue to grow with the rise of AI, AR/VR, and Web3 technologies. Top institutes in India for UI/UX & Interaction Design include the National Institute of Design (NID), Indian Institute of Technology (IIT), IIT Guwahati, IIT Jabalpur, MIT Institute of Design, Sristi Institute of Art, Design and Technology, UPES, ISDI, Symbiosis Institute of Design, and Anant National University.

If you can afford and if your daughter is interested in studying abroad, globally renowned schools for UI/UX design include Carnegie Mellon University, Rhode Island School of Design, Parsons School of Design, Royal College of Art, University of Arts London, and TU Delft. Pursuing a career in IT-related design is a smart choice with excellent career growth. All the best for your daughter's admissions!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4275 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 06, 2025

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Career
My son secure 97.03 percentile in jee main session 1 in general category can he get CSE in any NIT
Ans: Shashi Sir,

How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Once the January JEE Main session results are declared, many students and JEE applicants start asking common questions about eligibility for specific institutes (NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, etc.) based on their percentile, category, preferred branch, and home state.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, and preparation strategies, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your Son's admissions!

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...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4275 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 05, 2025Hindi
Listen
Career
My son has got 99.6 percentile in JEE mains 2025 jan . What should be the possible options and priority of sequence ?
Ans: How to Predict Your Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Once the January JEE Main session results are declared, many students and JEE applicants start asking common questions about eligibility for specific institutes (NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, etc.) based on their percentile, category, preferred branch, and home state.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile
Your category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, and preparation strategies, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your son's admissions!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know more on 'Careers | Health | Money | Relationships'.

...Read more

Dr Dipankar

Dr Dipankar Dutta  |912 Answers  |Ask -

Tech Careers and Skill Development Expert - Answered on Mar 05, 2025

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