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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 30, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Anu, My husband always takes sides of his younger brother even when he is wrong. He lives in village and I go there occasionally. Once I had a fight with his brother and he sided him, leaving me in tears. After that I stopped talking to his brother and would only communicate with him when necessary. His behaviour towards me is very disrespectful. He stopped saying hello etc. I did not react. Though he did not say anything, but his behaviour towards me is very rude and disrespctful. When I told this to my husband he said that I say so many things against his brother to him so I did not deserve his brother's respect. His brother's behaviour did not hurt me as he does not matter to me. However, my husband's taking his brother's side hurt me a lot. This has always been the case. I am unable to forgive my husband for taking his brother's side and disrespecting me. Please advise me how I can tolerate my husband and avoid the hatred thoughts from my mind.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At times, i do ponder over whether Blood is indeed thicker than water!
Since the brother lives in the village and possibly doesn't visit your home often, the best thing is to think of him as that visitor who comes once in every while when there is an occasion at home.
How do we deal with these visitors?
Do we think of them everyday and every moment?
Are we obsessed as to how each member of the family interact with them?

So, the key for you is to treat him in your mind as that visitor and bother about him only when that occasional village trip happens or when he visits. As for what your husband does with that visitor (his brother) is solely his business and not for you to dictate or plan. Because the more you are going to demand that your husband only supports you, the more he is going to fight it and become soft with his brother.
So, now are you still going to be bothered about that visitor having hurt you in the past and rob yourself of a better time now? Think about it!

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Mam, I am 30 year old working IT. I got married 3 years ago. We do not have kids.We loved each other and got married. He is 12 years elder to me. He has been earning and is responsible. He takes good care of me and he helps me in household work. There are good things about him. But, he has lied a lot in financial matters. He and his family had potrayed that they are settled. In fact, they are in lot of handloans and debts. My husband has taken huge amount of home loan without discussing it with me. Also , his parents are financially dependent on him(This was also discussed earlier but he had not told about this. He had hidden this also saying they are getting another source of income) He has a brother who is arrogant and is not working. Brother is 33 years old. (This was also not disclosed. My husband had just told that his brother is not earning as of now but he will earn in future) My inlaws say that brother will work in near future and he will also contribute to the house. But, i have no hopes in it. We have been quarelling over every single thing because of his brother. Our normal converstaion does not last for more than 5 min. It will turn into a huge fight. Fight has gone to such extent that it has got abusive, no respect for each other and family and violent. This is just not alone from his side. I have my anger issues too. We are aggressive too in nature. My husband is burderned because of this. My husband has two families (ours and his) to take care. I am not able to plan for a kid because i have lost the trust in my husband and feel insecure financially. Also, he is aging. Please suggest what do i do with him. I am not able forgive him for what he is done. He has accepted his mistake. He agrees to whatver i argue because fault is at his end. But, I fear where we will not be afford for a baby. I dont know what he will do if i quit my job and extend my maternity leave. I dont trust my husband. I fear where again he will take loan, i fear where he would lie again. We are struggling here and his brother has no idea that our relationship has strained because of him!! I want to talk it out to my husband's brother in front of my in laws and explain him. Other wise, should i stay with my husband?? Should i leave my husband??? We do have feelings for each other but I dont have peace of mind. Please suggest mam. I need a direction. My health is getting spoilt and i am in stress all the time because we shout and fight each and everyday..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Out with all the lies and start afresh and your husband needs to be with you on this one...
This past baggage that is looming over your head has to go...If you need to trust him again, this requires the two of you to set aside your differences and start on a new slate!
No more hiding or lies or doing things that prevent you and your husband from starting a family or actually managing one. Is he prepared for that conversation? Are you prepared for that conversation?
Face your problems and that will give you an indication and clarity as to what you want in your marriage, what you expect from your spouse and what is that you want out of the marriage.
So, instead of thinking about leaving your husband, would you not rather try and work on the marriage first?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |657 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 09, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
My age is 41 years. I have two kids. Nurturing n looking after them n whole home single handedly. I am a visiting faculty in a institute . Earns very nominal earning. My husband hits me, taunts me and use very arrogant words to me like tumhe belt se maarunga n similar many worst words. His family has been always unsupportive to me . Now after 16 years of marriage, he still wants me to please his mother n other family. Which I completely avoid as they have never supported me and always boycotted me. His real brother is in politics and all family members including his cousins do follow him and boycotted me n husband. Now for everything my husband blames me and says if you gave pleased them, all might have good. But inspite of pleasing them a lot , they are like treating me like I am a stranger. I handle n manage everything still by the end of the day.... everything is in vain. Husband says...What you did for home? I will never ever give my money to you and so on. I am literally in trouble thoughts, what to do ? I even many times thought to end my life but my kids are the reason I continuously bears everything. Please suggest what shall I do.
Ans: it's important to acknowledge that no one deserves to be treated with such disrespect and abuse. Your feelings of isolation and frustration are valid. It can feel overwhelming when the people who should support you instead make you feel like an outsider.

In situations like this, it’s crucial to find support outside the immediate family. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can offer you emotional strength and practical advice. Consider speaking with a counselor or therapist who can help you navigate these complex emotions and provide strategies for dealing with the abuse and stress.

You’ve shown immense resilience, especially for your children. They need you to be strong, and seeking help is a vital step in preserving your mental and emotional well-being. Remember, prioritizing your health is not selfish; it’s necessary for you and your children’s future.

Also, explore any legal avenues or resources available for individuals in abusive relationships. Local support organizations, legal aid, or women’s shelters can provide advice and assistance if you decide that leaving the relationship is the best option for your safety and well-being.

You have already shown great courage by managing so much on your own. Continue to seek out support and know that you are not alone in this journey. There are people and resources willing to help you find a path to a healthier and more secure life.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1794 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi mam,im 38 years old and my husband 41 years old.we are joint family.My husband is in NRI and he comes to india yearly once.He have spend 45 days in a year only.we have two kids one kid is 5 years old and another kid is 8 years old.im staying with my mother in law.we got married since 2014.my husband not giving importance except financial advice.He is always supporting for his mother and his elder sister.Sometimes some conflicts between his mother and me.Many times i accept and give response for her age but sometimes she is speaking rudely.i cant control my anger and shows my anger to her its just 5 percent but 95 percentagd she is doing.whenever i told to my husband he told me that u are the reason for fight and u have to adjust all things.He give first preference for his mother and sister only.All parents are struggling to raise them but he talk that his mother only struggling and give this much life.His parents nothing do special .they are not do any specific or any special things.if i take and talk same like that what will happened.Some arguments and fight will come between us.he didnt accept his mothers mistake.He is good amma payan.And wherever we go he comes along with his mother.Im living with his mother for whole year even in his vacation time also he is not ready to spend some time with me and he didnt respect my feelings.Even lost year kerala trip also he comes along with his mother only.i told him wherever we goto temple we along with your mother but i need to spent time with you alone but he never listen my words and told that his mother never seen before this place.As a son can satisfying her expection.And my side all things doing with my parents is a certain limit.He is going toomuch for his mother and i want to tell one thing for 10 years of marriage life we didnt go any honeymoon trip also.wherever we go just nearby cinima shopping and nearby park we go alone and return back only.i want to spend with him what i have to do but he is not.i need some relief for my routine life.he never understood me.Kindly give some advice to rectify my problem.And in fronf of his son his mother spoke very polite and calm but with me very rude sometimes.I shows my anger with him and he gave me advice to his mother is oldage she is good and something.i got too much anger and fight with him.He always blaming me.What i have to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have married a man who is stuck in an unhealthy relationship. Many homes have a case of the mother and son stuck together and this impacts the marriage. The son never wants to grow up and the mother does not allow the son to grow up. That way she can still have control over him and he enjoys all that attention.
Honestly the two of you need to go through Marriage Therapy with the spotlight on how to build a marriage that your husband has to learn. I don't know if your husband will agree to allow a third person to tell him that he's stuck in something and needs to move from there by growing up.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11151 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 22, 2026

Money
If I want to withdraw 1.5 lac per month, which SWP is better and how much should I invest in it?
Ans: It is very good that you are planning SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) in advance. Planning monthly income properly helps protect your capital and gives stable cash flow.

To withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh per month, the correct SWP structure depends mainly on:

– your age
– investment horizon
– whether income is required lifelong or for limited years
– existing retirement corpus
– risk tolerance

Still, I will guide you with a practical structure that suits most long-term SWP income needs.

» How much investment is required to withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh per month

Normally, safe SWP withdrawal rate should be around:

– 6% yearly for very safe structure
– 7% yearly for balanced structure
– 8% yearly for growth-oriented structure

Based on this:

Approximate investment required:

– Conservative structure: around Rs 3 crore
– Balanced structure: around Rs 2.5 crore
– Growth-oriented structure: around Rs 2.25 crore

This allows income sustainability without early capital depletion.

If withdrawal period is limited (example 15 years), required corpus may be lower.

If income required lifelong, higher corpus is safer.

» Which mutual fund categories are best for SWP income

Best SWP income normally comes from a combination approach.

Ideal structure:

– 40% Multi asset allocation category fund
– 30% Balanced advantage category fund
– 20% Flexi cap category fund
– 10% Short duration debt category fund

This structure provides:

– income stability
– inflation protection
– market downside control
– long-term capital sustainability

Avoid using only pure equity category funds for SWP.

Avoid using only debt category funds also because inflation reduces value.

Combination approach works best.

» Why multi asset allocation category fund works well for SWP

This category invests across:

– equity
– debt
– gold

It adjusts allocation automatically and supports stable withdrawal planning.

Very suitable for retirement-style monthly income planning.

» Tax efficiency advantage of SWP

SWP is more tax-efficient compared to interest income.

Because:

– only capital gain portion is taxed
– equity mutual fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– debt fund gains taxed as per income slab

So proper category selection improves post-tax income.

» How to structure SWP correctly

Better approach:

– keep 2 years withdrawal amount in short duration debt category fund
– keep remaining corpus in multi asset + balanced advantage category funds
– review once per year
– increase withdrawal gradually based on inflation

This protects income continuity during market corrections.

» Important preparation before starting SWP

Before starting SWP ensure:

– emergency fund available separately
– health insurance active
– no high-interest loans pending
– nominee details updated

These steps protect retirement income stability.

» Finally

To withdraw Rs 1.5 lakh monthly comfortably, target corpus should ideally be between Rs 2.25 crore and Rs 3 crore depending on risk level.

Use combination of multi asset, balanced advantage, flexi cap and short duration debt category funds instead of relying on a single category. This improves income stability and protects capital for long-term sustainability.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.linkedin.com/in/ramalingamcfp/

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |11050 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Apr 22, 2026

Career
Namaskar, My son has got 93.60 percentile in JEE mains 2026 with General rank 100144 and OBC NCL rank 32618. I request you to kindly guide me can he get admission in SGSITS, Indore in CSE / IT / ETC branch having MP domicile or any other better option as per your recommendation.
Ans: Govind Sir, With 93.60 percentile, CRL 1,00,144 and OBC-NCL rank 32,618 (MP domicile), your son should try both MP BE counselling and JoSAA. For SGSITS Indore, recent MP-counselling data show General home-state closing ranks around CSE 18,410, IT 37,589, ETC 48,484 in 2025, so CSE looks difficult, IT is borderline, and ETC appears the most realistic; OBC-MP quota may improve chances somewhat. For JoSAA, at OBC 32,618, expect mainly lower-demand branches in mid/lower NITs, IIITs and GFTIs, not CSE/IT in top institutes. My recommendation: SGSITS ETC/IT first, then good MP colleges like IET-DAVV/JEC, while keeping JoSAA + CSAB as backup. (I suggest you also cross-check the JoSAA opening and closing ranks data from the last 2–3 years before filling in the maximum number of your son’s preferred institutions and branches during counselling). ALL the BEST for Your Son's Prosperous Future!

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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