My wife is having illegit sexual relationship with another guy. I am in different town and she is in different city. I came to know she is having sexual relationship with another person. As a man what shall i do. Please guide

Ans: Dear AK, time to sit down, talk and figure out if she and you want to be in this marriage.

Also, do you want to work on this marriage, do you want to continue?

Couples drift apart for various reasons and some may lead to finding a new sense of identity and thrill outside of marriage.

I guess it’s time for some reality check questions and truthfully answering them.

I am not going to pin your wife down or ask you what went wrong as this is for the two of you to talk and iron out.

Kindly take the help of a professional who can guide you both in an impartial manner, throw deep reflective questions to both of you so that it helps you reach some sort of decision.

In the meantime, understand that any connection outside of marriage happened for a reason and 11 years is a long time. To imagine that it can be broken off just like that is a good hopeful imagination.

So, it takes time and for her to understand that her marriage to you is important and that she can tactfully move away from the other connection requires some reflection on her part too.

Do support one another and it’s possible to rebuild the marriage if both of you choose to.

Create a good life!

Ans: Dear Saurav,

I understand that facing infidelity in a relationship is incredibly tough, and I'm sorry you're going through this. To make it through this challenging time, open communication and commitment from both partners are crucial. Starting with acknowledging the infidelity is a positive step, honest conversation about the issue and working together to move forward. Let's face it, it happened and I assume you decided to keep working on your marriage, so you will have to take it one step at a time. Acceptance is the first.

While friends and family can provide support, consider seeking couples therapy to address underlying problems. Guidance from a professional is invaluable in rebuilding trust and understanding. They can offer you a more structured approach. And don't forget to take care of yourself. You might even consider seeking individual counseling to sort out the emotional turmoil caused by this.

Rebuilding trust takes time, and both parties need to be dedicated. Manage your expectations and remember that recovery is a gradual process.

Best Wishes!

Ans: It's understandable that your wife's revelation is bothering you, even though the relationship ended before you got married. The key here is that she trusted you enough to share this with you, which shows her commitment to being honest and open in your marriage.

It's important to remember that everyone has a past, and what matters most is the relationship you both have now. Focus on the trust and bond you share today. If you find that these feelings continue to bother you, it might help to have a calm, honest conversation with her about how you're feeling. Express your emotions without blaming or judging, and work together to reassure each other.

If these feelings persist and affect your relationship, seeking guidance from a counselor or therapist could be beneficial. They can help you navigate these emotions and strengthen your bond.