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Anu Krishna  |1320 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 17, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 16, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My wife is having illegit sexual relationship with another guy. I am in different town and she is in different city. I came to know she is having sexual relationship with another person. As a man what shall i do. Please guide

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Have a frank chat about this with your wife.
As much as you hear her side of the story, you need have the space to state yours and how this situation is making you feel. Hear her out too...
Decide for yourself what you want in your marriage now. If you are unprepared to accept this, state it to her clearly and ask her if she is willing to let the other relationship go and come back into the marriage; of course depends on whether you want that or not.
That is why before knowing what to do, you need to ask yourself: What is it that I want? What to do will follow once you know what you want.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1320 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 15, 2021

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Relationship
 Dear Madam, I have been married for 26 years having two sons.Recently I discovered that my wife was in a relationship for last 11 years.I was devastated after this new discovery.After this my wife says sorry and she will move on and break off the relationship. But to my utter dismay the same is going on.What step do I need to take in this matter?
Ans: Dear AK, time to sit down, talk and figure out if she and you want to be in this marriage.

Also, do you want to work on this marriage, do you want to continue?

Couples drift apart for various reasons and some may lead to finding a new sense of identity and thrill outside of marriage.

I guess it’s time for some reality check questions and truthfully answering them.

I am not going to pin your wife down or ask you what went wrong as this is for the two of you to talk and iron out.

Kindly take the help of a professional who can guide you both in an impartial manner, throw deep reflective questions to both of you so that it helps you reach some sort of decision.

In the meantime, understand that any connection outside of marriage happened for a reason and 11 years is a long time. To imagine that it can be broken off just like that is a good hopeful imagination.

So, it takes time and for her to understand that her marriage to you is important and that she can tactfully move away from the other connection requires some reflection on her part too.

Do support one another and it’s possible to rebuild the marriage if both of you choose to.

Create a good life!

..Read more

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1320 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi , I am a professor mech engineer , after death of my wife and due to having 5 year girl baby I planned for 2 nd marriage as I live alone away from home town because my of job with my little baby . I accepted a widow having 2 child ,she was working in a govt job 250 km away , after ensuring and agreeing her possibility of transfer and job vacancy @govt office near my house and ensuring she agreed that she will come to live with me along with her 2 kids and my little baby as her trasfer was due in comming few months . We lived apart during her job at 250 km away.,while meeting on weekly offs 6 /7 time in 6 months , then she take 360 degree u turn and said she will not get job transfer to my place and get her trasfer in other dept. in same previous office. And started telling many reasons like she will loose her children's inheritance in her in-laws property ,she will loose promotion , kids Don't want trasfer , and said we will live apart forever . This was contradictory to earlier agreed things .and my my purpose to live in family with my baby not fulfilled , so after long ruckus ,I mutually got divorce from her , Then After divorce I decided to marry non working women having no child and don't expect child as I am @48 year old and tired of living alone and managing job ,girl , house chores . I married to a divorcee girl from Pune ,she was BA first year college drop out girl of 44 yr age after 6 months of long dating on week ends . During 6 months I tried to know her indepth but was don't used to talk much as I was trying to know her true nature, we visited many places ,movies . She seemed perfect as per my requirement of girl wanting no child , and she is house wife . after marriage she behave well for 1 st week ,then she started trouble to hate my baby ( became kaikai )on pety things , she want my baby to house chores at the cost of her important year of 10th std study . She don't liked me taking tution of girl , she didn't like if I help my girl any way . She don't like if I spent some money on my girl . She used to fight all night and don't let me sleep . Now she stated demanding that she want baby , though I was against and b4 marriage agreed to not have any more child due to old age ,cost ,and no personal time for self , then I agreed to have child but b4 that I got her and my fertility tested ,she had weak eggs and syst on her reproductive organs and doc warned to not go for pregnancy due to risk and probability of unhealthy baby birth , but she kept repeating That she want child we consulted 4 Drs. She used to fight and go to her mother's home for 2/4 months after living with me for 2/3 days only . Now she wants divorce , and asks me to keep my girl in hostel if I want her in my life . This Ramayan has left me baffled , What should I do ??? .....
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The reason to marry for you mainly has been companionship, a mother for your daughter...
And marriage is not a transaction BUT a meeting of minds...when there is no compatibility, there is no space for agreeing on the same things or wanting to make things work which is possibly what has happened with your 2nd and 3rd marriage.
If you want this marriage to work, there has to be an equal commitment by both of you, so, start by emotionally bonding first. Slowly build on this by making goals for the marriage and the future...your only goal can't be mother for your child...not all women are going to readily accept this and some may even falter along the way. Allow the lady and your daughter to bond together for sometime so they develop a unique relationship...
Understand that transactional relationships do not last; so, invest enough time in building trust in that companionship for it to become something meaningful

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1320 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 22, 2024

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