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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Shreya Question by Shreya on Apr 11, 2023Hindi
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Today my bf hit me vary badly He never respect me and also hit me maney a times

Ans: Dear Shreya,
And what exactly are you waiting for in the relationship?
For him to take his hitting to a new level?
When a person does not respect his/her partner in a relationship and they have become physically abusive, it must end.
The reason he continues to hit you is because, you have never said NO! When will you stand up for yourself? After he has hurt you even more than now?
Safeguard yourself and your self-respect and do the right and safe thing for yourself. When in doubt, ask yourself: If I had a younger sister whose bf hits her, what would I advise her to do? To bear it all or walk away and build a new life? You got your answer?

All the best and be your own champion...Take care of yourself!

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He always fight with me how I handle this situation
Ans: Fighting with your partner can be a difficult and stressful experience. If you're finding that you and your partner are constantly fighting, it may be helpful to take a step back and reflect on what may be causing the conflict.

First, try to identify the triggers that lead to arguments between you and your partner. Are there certain topics or situations that tend to set off disagreements? Understanding what causes conflicts can help you and your partner avoid these situations or approach them in a more productive way.

It's also important to work on communication skills. When you and your partner are in the midst of an argument, try to remain calm and listen actively to what they have to say. Avoid interrupting or talking over them, and take the time to reflect on your own feelings before responding. If the conversation becomes too heated, take a break and come back to it when both of you have had a chance to cool down.

If you find that you're unable to resolve conflicts on your own, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a professional relationship counselor. A trained counselor can provide you and your partner with tools and strategies for improving communication, managing conflicts, and strengthening your relationship.

Remember, building a strong and healthy relationship takes effort and commitment from both partners. By working together and focusing on effective communication, you and your partner can overcome conflicts and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

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Kanchan

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Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
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Is it okay to live with a person who abuses me daily verbally but gives care also. Eventhough after i told repeatedly not to use bad words he is using it. Doing fight at night and morning coming for patch up as if nothing happend. What should i do now pls tell me.
Ans: No one deserves to be verbally abused, no matter what other positive things might be present in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being above all else.
Reach out to friends, family members, or a trusted individual who can offer support and guidance. It's essential to have someone to confide in during challenging times.Speaking to a therapist or counselor can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings and options. They can offer valuable insight and help you develop coping strategiesClearly communicate to the person that their behavior is unacceptable and that you will not tolerate verbal abuse. Set boundaries and stick to them. If they continue to disrespect your boundaries, it may be necessary to take further action.Evaluate whether it's feasible to remove yourself from the situation, whether temporarily or permanently. This could involve seeking alternative living arrangements, such as staying with a friend or family member, or exploring other housing options.If you're concerned about your safety, develop a safety plan in case the situation escalates. This could include having a bag packed with essentials, knowing where to go in an emergency, and having a support network in place. Depending on your circumstances, you may want to consult with a lawyer to understand your rights and options, especially if you're considering leaving the living situation or seeking legal protection.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness in all your relationships. It's okay to prioritize your well-being and take steps to remove yourself from a toxic environment. If you're ever in immediate danger, don't hesitate to reach out to emergency services for help.

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Kanchan

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Hey mam I am just 23 I have a boyfriend and my family accepted him but I can't understand his behaviour sometimes he behaving like a no one can love me like him he supported me always by financial he is a soft heart person but ???? sometimes when he is in angry he can't understand anything sometimes I abused by him and behaving like I am nothing for him he shouted among people he can't think what I can feel what is this ma'am ????what can I do
Ans: Dear Priya,
It seems you're experiencing a relationship with mixed behaviors from your boyfriend. On one hand, he supports you financially and shows affection, but on the other, he becomes verbally abusive and dismissive when angry. This duality can be confusing and emotionally draining.

It's important to recognize that his abusive behavior, even if it's only during moments of anger, is a significant issue. Such behavior can erode your self-esteem and sense of safety over time. Abuse isn't just physical; verbal and emotional abuse can be just as damaging.

When someone shouts at you or dismisses your feelings, especially in public, it indicates a lack of respect and self-control. This kind of behavior is unacceptable and should not be excused or normalized, regardless of the moments of kindness and support he shows.

Consider discussing your concerns with him during a calm moment, emphasizing how his behavior affects you. If he's willing to listen and seek help, such as anger management or couples counseling, there might be a way to address these issues. However, if he dismisses your concerns or refuses to change, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship for your own well-being.

You deserve to be in a relationship where you're consistently treated with respect and love. Seeking support from friends, family, or a professional counselor can also help you navigate this situation and make the best decision for your future.

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Sir please tell me which B.Tech course will be good for my daughter's future, because at this time every child is doing CS and everyone wants admission in CS. Which option will be better instead of CS in future. Her JEE,MHT CET,COMEDK exam result marks are fine. Maybe she will get CS. But please tell me another course instead of CS. For her gud future.
Ans: Sarika Madam, For a strong future beyond Computer Science, several B.Tech branches are emerging as excellent alternatives, each with robust placement records and industry relevance. Electronics and Communication Engineering (ECE) is highly valued for its versatility, with placement rates at top institutes ranging from 70% to 92% over the last three years, and graduates working in sectors like IoT, chip design, and telecommunications. Artificial Intelligence and Data Science are rapidly growing fields, with 80–90% placement rates and high demand across industries such as healthcare, finance, and automation. Electrical Engineering remains evergreen, supporting careers in power systems, renewable energy, and smart grids, though recent placement rates have varied between 60% and 80% depending on the institute. Mechanical Engineering, while traditional, is evolving with automation and robotics, maintaining 65–90% placement rates at leading colleges. New interdisciplinary programs like Computational Engineering, Biomedical Engineering, and Cybersecurity are also gaining traction, offering future-proof skills for Industry 5.0 and healthcare technology. For backup options beyond state entrance exams, consider national-level exams like BITSAT, VITEEE, and SRMJEEE, which provide access to top private universities with strong placement records and industry connections.

Recommendation: If your daughter is open to fields beyond CS, prioritize ECE, AI & Data Science, or interdisciplinary branches like Biomedical or Computational Engineering, as these offer high placement rates, diverse career paths, and future relevance. Additionally, keep BITSAT, VITEEE, and SRMJEEE as backup options to maximize her chances of admission to reputed institutions with excellent industry exposure and campus recruitment. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 27, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 27, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello, I am a 52-year-old man. I have never been married and I live with my mother. I recently lost my job and I am currently not working. I often feel lonely and do not have much to do. As I grow older and weaker, I worry that no one will be there to care for me. Do you have any advice for living alone and planning for the future? Should I think about booking a place in a care home in advance?
Ans: You Have Taken a Very Important First Step

You have shared your situation honestly.
That itself shows your clarity and courage.
Many people avoid facing these life questions.
But you are thinking about your future early.

That is not weakness. That is strength.
You want to plan better, live with dignity, and stay independent.

Let us now explore how you can move forward.

Emotional Health Is as Important as Financial Health

Feeling lonely is not a personal failure.
This happens to many people, especially in later stages.

But loneliness can affect your health, confidence and energy.
So emotional well-being must also be planned.

Here are some steps to take for emotional stability:

Join community-based senior citizen clubs or men’s support groups.

Volunteer in social or religious organisations nearby.

Spend more time in parks or public libraries.

Attend free local workshops, health camps, or senior hobby circles.

Join digital groups where people share similar life stories.

You can also try to reconnect with old friends or classmates.
If possible, talk to a professional therapist.
You may get clarity and courage to move forward with strength.

Mental peace is your foundation.
Every other area will build better if your mind is clear.

Income Loss Needs Calm Planning, Not Panic

Job loss can feel heavy.
It creates fear about future income and expenses.
But worry will not help. Proper planning will.

Let’s assess your situation with these key questions:

Do you have any emergency savings?

Do you have PF, gratuity, or old investments?

Is your mother financially dependent on you fully?

Are you receiving any rental or pension income?

Do you have any LIC or traditional policies?

If you hold LIC or ULIP or investment-insurance policies,
Those should be reviewed immediately.
Surrendering those and reinvesting in mutual funds may be wise.

A Certified Financial Planner can help analyse that for you.
You need a structure that gives monthly income and liquidity.

Don’t delay this review. You need clarity to act.

Your Mother’s Care Also Needs to Be Protected

You are staying with your mother.
She must be elderly now.
Her health and care will also need some preparation.

Here are some points to check:

Does she have health insurance now?

If not, you must protect her with basic medical fund.

Keep Rs. 1 lakh separately only for her emergencies.

If she is eligible for government schemes, do enrol her.

Also, try to simplify her banking and mobile usage.
Digital tools can help you track and manage her needs.

If possible, keep one trusted neighbour or cousin informed.
That one person can be a backup support if needed.

Don’t carry the whole burden silently.
Even a small circle can be helpful.

Start Thinking of Your Own Medical and Long-Term Needs

Age 52 is the right age to start preparing for old age.
You are not too late. But don’t wait more.

Think about your personal health and mobility:

Do you have any current medical issues?

Are you insured with a good health policy now?

Is your health insurance individual or employer-provided earlier?

If you had employer cover, that will now be inactive.
You need your own health policy as early as possible.

Start with a basic policy, then increase later.
Premiums rise with age. So earlier is better.

Also, start creating a medical emergency fund of Rs. 3 to 5 lakhs.
Keep this in a liquid mutual fund or sweep-in FD.

Health events can come anytime.
With insurance + fund, you are protected.

Thinking About Senior Care Homes and Assisted Living

Your concern about future care is valid.
Being alone during old age can be hard.

Booking a care home now is not necessary.
But understanding options early is smart.

Here’s how to approach it:

Visit senior homes in your city or nearby areas.

Understand their admission process, fees, services and reviews.

Make a short list of 2–3 places that feel reliable.

Keep a folder ready with documents and preferences.

Do not pre-book unless needed.
But do keep your research ready and saved.

Also keep your close relatives or executor informed about your wishes.
Keep a Will and a Letter of Instruction ready for the future.

That gives you peace of mind.
Your future care will be on your terms.

Investing for Monthly Income and Stability

Without a job, you need a reliable source of income.
This can come from mutual fund income plans.

These funds are actively managed and adjust based on market cycles.
They work better than bank FDs or index funds.

Index funds just follow the market blindly.
They don’t protect during down periods.

Actively managed mutual funds, under CFP guidance,
Give better returns with risk protection.

Also, avoid direct mutual fund plans.
Direct plans may seem low-cost.
But you lose expert guidance and timely reviews.

Investing through Certified Financial Planner under regular plan
Gives you goal-based strategies, rebalancing and personal support.

At this stage, regular plan is safer and more useful.
Peace of mind is more important than tiny cost savings.

Start a plan that provides a monthly payout from your capital.
You can choose SWP (systematic withdrawal plan) through mutual funds.
This provides income while your money keeps growing.

Your financial plan must be 360-degree:

Health planning

Emergency buffer

Monthly income

Retirement fund

Estate planning

Don’t look for just one solution.
A full system will keep you secure.

Other Important Steps to Take Now

Create a file of important documents: Aadhaar, PAN, passbook, insurance, medical reports.

Make a nomination for all accounts and investments.

Write a basic Will even if assets are small.

Avoid loans or liabilities unless for emergency.

Cut unnecessary expenses until income stabilises.

If possible, try part-time, freelance or online projects.

You can also teach tuitions, do typing work, or sell skills online.
Any small income brings energy and confidence.
Keep trying different options till something works.

Finally

Your future is still in your hands.
Age 52 is not the end. It is a beginning of the next phase.

You have taken the first step with courage.
Now move ahead step-by-step with planning.

Keep your mind strong, your routine simple and your support circle active.
Financial discipline, medical readiness and emotional peace – these three must be your focus.

Care homes are one part of planning. Not the only part.
Start building your self-care system today.

And get expert help through a Certified Financial Planner.
That will make your journey smoother, structured and peaceful.

You deserve a safe, strong and independent future.
That is 100% possible with proper planning.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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