Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 13, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Shreya Question by Shreya on Apr 11, 2023Hindi
Listen

Today my bf hit me vary badly He never respect me and also hit me maney a times

Ans: Dear Shreya,
And what exactly are you waiting for in the relationship?
For him to take his hitting to a new level?
When a person does not respect his/her partner in a relationship and they have become physically abusive, it must end.
The reason he continues to hit you is because, you have never said NO! When will you stand up for yourself? After he has hurt you even more than now?
Safeguard yourself and your self-respect and do the right and safe thing for yourself. When in doubt, ask yourself: If I had a younger sister whose bf hits her, what would I advise her to do? To bear it all or walk away and build a new life? You got your answer?

All the best and be your own champion...Take care of yourself!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 11, 2023

Listen
Relationship
He always fight with me how I handle this situation
Ans: Fighting with your partner can be a difficult and stressful experience. If you're finding that you and your partner are constantly fighting, it may be helpful to take a step back and reflect on what may be causing the conflict.

First, try to identify the triggers that lead to arguments between you and your partner. Are there certain topics or situations that tend to set off disagreements? Understanding what causes conflicts can help you and your partner avoid these situations or approach them in a more productive way.

It's also important to work on communication skills. When you and your partner are in the midst of an argument, try to remain calm and listen actively to what they have to say. Avoid interrupting or talking over them, and take the time to reflect on your own feelings before responding. If the conversation becomes too heated, take a break and come back to it when both of you have had a chance to cool down.

If you find that you're unable to resolve conflicts on your own, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a professional relationship counselor. A trained counselor can provide you and your partner with tools and strategies for improving communication, managing conflicts, and strengthening your relationship.

Remember, building a strong and healthy relationship takes effort and commitment from both partners. By working together and focusing on effective communication, you and your partner can overcome conflicts and build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 13, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Is it okay to live with a person who abuses me daily verbally but gives care also. Eventhough after i told repeatedly not to use bad words he is using it. Doing fight at night and morning coming for patch up as if nothing happend. What should i do now pls tell me.
Ans: No one deserves to be verbally abused, no matter what other positive things might be present in the relationship. It's crucial to prioritize your safety and well-being above all else.
Reach out to friends, family members, or a trusted individual who can offer support and guidance. It's essential to have someone to confide in during challenging times.Speaking to a therapist or counselor can provide you with a safe space to explore your feelings and options. They can offer valuable insight and help you develop coping strategiesClearly communicate to the person that their behavior is unacceptable and that you will not tolerate verbal abuse. Set boundaries and stick to them. If they continue to disrespect your boundaries, it may be necessary to take further action.Evaluate whether it's feasible to remove yourself from the situation, whether temporarily or permanently. This could involve seeking alternative living arrangements, such as staying with a friend or family member, or exploring other housing options.If you're concerned about your safety, develop a safety plan in case the situation escalates. This could include having a bag packed with essentials, knowing where to go in an emergency, and having a support network in place. Depending on your circumstances, you may want to consult with a lawyer to understand your rights and options, especially if you're considering leaving the living situation or seeking legal protection.

Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness in all your relationships. It's okay to prioritize your well-being and take steps to remove yourself from a toxic environment. If you're ever in immediate danger, don't hesitate to reach out to emergency services for help.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 28, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Hey mam I am just 23 I have a boyfriend and my family accepted him but I can't understand his behaviour sometimes he behaving like a no one can love me like him he supported me always by financial he is a soft heart person but ???? sometimes when he is in angry he can't understand anything sometimes I abused by him and behaving like I am nothing for him he shouted among people he can't think what I can feel what is this ma'am ????what can I do
Ans: Dear Priya,
It seems you're experiencing a relationship with mixed behaviors from your boyfriend. On one hand, he supports you financially and shows affection, but on the other, he becomes verbally abusive and dismissive when angry. This duality can be confusing and emotionally draining.

It's important to recognize that his abusive behavior, even if it's only during moments of anger, is a significant issue. Such behavior can erode your self-esteem and sense of safety over time. Abuse isn't just physical; verbal and emotional abuse can be just as damaging.

When someone shouts at you or dismisses your feelings, especially in public, it indicates a lack of respect and self-control. This kind of behavior is unacceptable and should not be excused or normalized, regardless of the moments of kindness and support he shows.

Consider discussing your concerns with him during a calm moment, emphasizing how his behavior affects you. If he's willing to listen and seek help, such as anger management or couples counseling, there might be a way to address these issues. However, if he dismisses your concerns or refuses to change, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship for your own well-being.

You deserve to be in a relationship where you're consistently treated with respect and love. Seeking support from friends, family, or a professional counselor can also help you navigate this situation and make the best decision for your future.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8333 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 12, 2025

Money
i wish to purchase new car i10, should i purchase the same through own money or should i take a vehicle loan from bank and the money own by my to be kept as FDR or liquid mutual fund
Ans: It’s a good sign that you’re thinking before buying a car. You’re not rushing into it. That shows maturity and smart thinking.

We will now evaluate own money vs vehicle loan — from every angle.

 

Understanding the Nature of a Car Purchase
A car is not an investment.

 

It is a consumption asset, not a growth asset.

 

It depreciates every year. Its value goes down, not up.

 

So the cheaper the total cost, the better for your wealth.

 

Option 1: Use Own Money Fully
Pros

No interest cost. You save on total expenses.

 

You are free from monthly EMI pressure.

 

Car becomes fully yours from day one.

 

No need to deal with bank, forms, hypothecation etc.

 

Cons

Your liquid money reduces.

 

You may not have enough cash for emergencies.

 

Opportunity loss if you had invested that money.

 

Option 2: Take Vehicle Loan & Keep Own Money in FDR or Liquid Mutual Fund
Let’s evaluate this with care.

Vehicle Loan Pros

You can preserve your savings for emergencies.

 

EMI can be budgeted monthly, if income is stable.

 

Some banks offer competitive interest rates.

 

Vehicle Loan Cons

You will pay interest on a depreciating item.

 

Loan adds to your monthly obligations.

 

You must pay insurance, EMI, fuel, and service together.

 

FDR and Liquid Mutual Funds give lower returns than loan cost.

 

So you will likely lose more in interest than you gain.

 

Let's Compare: Interest Rate vs Investment Return
Vehicle loan interest is usually 9% to 11% per year.

 

FDR gives around 6% to 7% before tax.

 

Liquid mutual funds give 6% to 7.5% on average.

 

So you pay more to the bank than you earn from investment.

 

Tax on interest or gains reduces actual return further.

 

This means taking a car loan and investing your own money leads to net loss.

 

Best Option for You: Smart Compromise Approach
Let me share a wise solution.

 

Don’t use full own money. Don’t take full loan either.

 

Instead, pay 70–80% from own funds.

 

Take a small car loan for the remaining 20–30% only.

 

This keeps EMI low and retains some liquidity.

 

You reduce interest cost and also keep Rs.50,000–Rs.1 lakh aside.

 

Park that in liquid fund for any urgent need.

 

Repay this small loan fast in 1–2 years.

 

Only Take a Car Loan If:
Your job income is stable.

 

You already have 3–6 months emergency fund ready.

 

You don’t have big loans running now.

 

You can pay EMI without affecting savings.

 

You commit to close the loan early.

 

Avoid This Mistake:
Never buy a more expensive car because loan makes it “feel affordable.”

 

Loan should not expand your car budget.

 

Whether you buy with loan or cash, pick a simple car within limits.

 

i10 is a wise, middle-ground choice. Good thought.

 

Tax Angle (If Business Use)
If you are using the car for business, vehicle loan interest may be tax-deductible.

 

But for personal use, there is no tax benefit.

 

So do not take loan just for imagined tax saving.

 

Final Insights
A car is a need, not an investment.

 

Using your own money fully keeps things simple and cheap.

 

Taking a full car loan and investing the money gives net negative return.

 

Best option is a split approach — pay major part from own funds.

 

Take small loan only if needed and close it early.

 

Always keep emergency money aside before buying.

 

Avoid emotional buying or overbudget cars.

 

Your financially balanced approach is very appreciable.

 

Best Regards,
 
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
 
Chief Financial Planner,
 
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2025

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 12, 2025

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x