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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1251 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 07, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
V Question by V on Aug 05, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Thanks Madam, for ur prompt advice. I would like to further ask a question on my subject. I understood that the female with whom I am having an affair has been hiding some of her banking transactions with me I asked her about the same but she said that there is nothing as such. . So i took her bank statement of last six months and came to know that she was playing some online games and had almost lost around 10k, So I asked her on this issue. She has got wild on me as to how could I take the bank statement without her knowledge and has stopped talking to me and has blocked my number. I dont think it was a mistake on my part of checking her account as I had a doubt and that proved true. Even then I pleaded to her and accepted that it was my mistake for tracking her account without informing her and also assured that it wont be repeated. But still she is very adamant and not ready to talk to me. So madam how do i convince her and get her back.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Surely you have the right to know where your money is being spent.
In fact, you could have told her upfront that you want to know what is happening with the money that you give her. Is it being used for household expenses? But it seems the lady has caught fancy with some online games.
Obviously, you don't trust her and that is the reason that you went behind her back to check on the money. And then you go ahead and apologize.
You have only given her a message that whatever she does with you or your money is fine. Do you need any more proof? Focus on your life better rather than jumping into relationships. Convince to get a lady back who has been hiding things from you? Do you not see how this is slowly turning against you? Hopefully, someday you will realize...
Stop and think and make the right decision...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1251 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2022

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Relationship
Hello Anu,Pls help. I am in a lot of mental trauma right now. I wrote to you earlier but my article was not published. I am a 36 years male married for the last 7 years with 2 kids. Last year when I was alone and my family was at my native place, I got close to one of my female school friends who is single. We came close and talked a lot. Gradually I fell in love and gifted her close to Rs 2 lakhs rupees to fulfil her shopping and household expenses. On realising that I am being trapped with no future in sight, I asked to return my money. This infuriated the girl and she abused me citing that I am making fun of her poverty and all. I understood the situation and told her to just return Rs 25k and stop. Thereafter we started talking again but obviously the intensity reduced. Over the last 8 months, my family is back and I cannot get over her. I constantly try to ping or call her but 90% of the time she doesn’t respond. I recently sent her Rs 15k for her birthday which she accepted after initial refusal. Now when I messaged her to know how her day was, she really got angry and blocked me on all social media platforms. I reached out to her sister to assuage her and apologize. She called and really abused me citing the constant family surveillance she is under. I promised I won’t text or call her for the next 2 months. Now I don’t know what to do. Should I ask her or her sister for the money to be returned if this escalates? Because she warned me that she would report to the police if I don’t stop messaging. She fears that family members know about me. She doesn’t have parents but is under constant family surveillance. Pls suggest the next course of action. Should I cut her off completely and risk losing the 2 lakhs and gain my mental peace or try to communicate intermittently? The day she abused me I really lost my mental peace. Pls advice.
Ans:

Dear MK,

What advice can I give you when the solution is right in front of you?

She wants to get your attention and fulfil her monetary needs; that’s all, Doesn’t that tell you anything? And when you try and contact her, she says that she is under surveillance.

How much of this has affected your marriage? What exactly was the need to step out of marriage for this attention?

Sometimes, we fancy things that are prohibited and this happens when we do not feel grateful with what we have and constantly chase what we don’t have. Time to work on your marriage?

Start first by loving yourself as this will tell you how much ignoring oneself can cause havoc in core relationships. Why should your wife bear the brunt of what’s going on? Your full commitment

is what she seeks and here you are mulling over a relationship that is based on selfishness and need-basis.

Can you please re-evaluate what your priorities are and put your life back in order?

Do this for yourself and your family…Your work, health and state of mind will start to improve. It’s time you took charge and I am sure you know how to do this.

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1251 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 04, 2024

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Relationship
Hi Anu Kindly refer to my earlier question and your answer. In july 2023, she came to my office and literally touched my feet and apologized to me for her wrongdoings, like talking to my wife and further character assassination. She told me that all people are lying to me. I forgave to her and thought that she is possessive and in her possessiveness, she took that step. From july 2023 till June, 2024, she continued to put various allegations on me that I have a affair with my office staff etc. I blocked her so many times in past one year, but she used to come to me through various persons. I told her many times that if she has any proof of my affair, show to me and i would explain to you. But she used to say sorry and reunite. In june, 2024, she again levelled allegation on me that I am having affair with my friends wife and again, she informed this to my wife that I am having affair with various women and she used to give me money and gave various household items to me. She also informed my wife about our personal things to my wife. In short, she tried to ruin my respect, my family. In wife became quite depressive on hearing these things. I totally blocked her from my phone and she is continuing to call my friends and assassinating my character. My friends know me quite well. When my wife tried to backfire on her, like contacting her relative on facebook, inquiring about her whereabouts, she suddenly took a U turn and said to my friend that I should stop my wife, else she would be thrown out of her house (she is a widow). I would never forgive her nor would return to her. I invested around 7 lakhs on building a house on collaboration with her and in her distress time, i used to take care of her and her house, like providing ration to her, giving her money to run household chores, paying her electricity bill etc. But i came to conclusion that she was just using me. If she would have really loved me, she couldt try to destroy me reputation and my family. But even after this, I never contacted her and tried to ruin her.
Ans: Dear Harish,
When you asked for help in your first question, it only meant you wanted to get out of this sticky situation. Now, I am happy that you were able to realize that she was using you. Hope you have decided to keep her at a distance from you and the family. When you started to dream of a parallel life with her and spend money to construct a home etc, you were again running away from your marriage and trying you luck elsewhere. Do try and give your marriage a fair chance and now that your wife knows most of it, do start on a clean state if that's what she wishes to as well. Thank you for sharing...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |383 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir/mam I am in trouble and anxiety bcz of the problem. Problem is, last year I met a girl in Instagram, we have chatted and got closed, sometimes I help her with money as she was telling she is preparing for government job and need some money for personal reasons. Once she needed mobile phone I ordered online for her to given address. The UPI that I used to send money does not belongs to her when I was asking she was telling she is her junior studying in same coaching centre. Later after 2-3 months our conversation went sexual and 2-3 times we had sexual conversation. But in every 3-4 days she was demanding money. And I send her frequently. When later I realised she is talking to me only for money then I tried to avoid her. Now the Junior whom I used to send money was calling me and telling me that the girl always saying you are family member and sending money. That's why I called you. She has taken some money and she supposed to return me in 2-3 days but not picking my call pls give me 2k it's urgent. When I denied he told I will give you back once she will return so I gave him 2k. Later again he called me that he called her father and his father is asking your contact number then only her father will return money. And ask me if I can give him 2k more he will not share my number to her father, so I given him again 2k. Now a man blackmailing me with girl's contact number saying he is her brother. She used to talk to me what is my relationship with her ? How do I know her? Bcz she has run away with someone and missing since 3-4 days and she left her phone in home. What should I do?
Ans: You're in a difficult and potentially dangerous situation. It appears you've been targeted in a scam, where emotional manipulation and blackmail are at play. The best course of action is to stop all communication with these individuals immediately and avoid sending any more money. Document everything you've experienced so far, including messages and transactions, as this could be important if you need to seek legal advice. It's also advisable to contact local authorities to report the scam and seek their guidance on how to protect yourself from further harassment. Prioritize your safety and well-being by distancing yourself from this situation as much as possible.

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |383 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hello sir/mam I am in trouble and anxiety bcz of the problem. Problem is, last year I met a girl in Instagram, we have chatted and got closed, sometimes I help her with money as she was telling she is preparing for government job and need some money for personal reasons. Once she needed mobile phone I ordered online for her to given address. The UPI that I used to send money does not belongs to her when I was asking she was telling she is her junior studying in same coaching centre. Later after 2-3 months our conversation went sexual and 2-3 times we had sexual conversation. But in every 3-4 days she was demanding money. And I send her frequently. When later I realised she is talking to me only for money then I tried to avoid her. Now the Junior whom I used to send money was calling me and telling me that the girl always saying you are family member and sending money. That's why I called you. She has taken some money and she supposed to return me in 2-3 days but not picking my call pls give me 2k it's urgent. When I denied he told I will give you back once she will return so I gave him 2k. Later again he called me that he called her father and his father is asking your contact number then only her father will return money. And ask me if I can give him 2k more he will not share my number to her father, so I given him again 2k. Now a man blackmailing me with girl's contact number saying he is her brother. She used to talk to me what is my relationship with her ? How do I know her? Bcz she has run away with someone and missing since 3-4 days and she left her phone in home. Again after 2 days He msged me that he is her brother's friend and he has this phone, if I pay some money he will destroy everything like all the chat that he recovered by the help of a data recovery guy. What should I do? I think it's a scam or will there be any legal issues in future?
Ans: You're in a difficult and potentially dangerous situation. It appears you've been targeted in a scam, where emotional manipulation and blackmail are at play. The best course of action is to stop all communication with these individuals immediately and avoid sending any more money. Document everything you've experienced so far, including messages and transactions, as this could be important if you need to seek legal advice. It's also advisable to contact local authorities to report the scam and seek their guidance on how to protect yourself from further harassment. Prioritize your safety and well-being by distancing yourself from this situation as much as possible.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1251 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 28, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi. I am a 33 year old woman and my relationship wth my husband was not so good from the beginning. He used to love me but he put his mom and dad first. He used to get angry if my inlaws complaint about me. He had gfs in his past and he did not care to talk to me to build a trust worthy relationship after our wedding. I barely know anything . I had to ask him to know things about him . So I feel a but lonely and depressed. Meanwhile, I had a baby and while spending time with the baby in the park. I met a guy. He had a son and he was also playing with his son like me. He kicked football and it started coming towards my baby. I kicked the ball back in order to protect my baby. Then he came towards us to make us feel safe n he would not let the ball come to us. I was okay with all that. He left after sometime. I also went home. Afterwards, i noticed that he used to look into my eyes for a long time whenever he is around. He would check whetehr im there or not. He plays with his son on regular basis. His wife too come to park with her son. Whenver his wife is there , he would just keave the place and go somewhere else. Lastly, one day he was interacting with me , giving me advice that i should take my baby to doc also. I also replied amd we chatted a bit then he got busy in playing football. I dont know whether im overthinking or he is just being friendly. I just dont know why he is staring and looking profoundly intonmy eyes. He makes eye contact with me quite often. I know nothing about him. I just see him in the park thats all. Pls I need help as im feeling nervous about this whole thing because of lack of clearity and also want advice how to deal with such things .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It is easy to feel a sense of connection with someone who shows you a little attention especially since you don't get any attention at home. But is this worth your time and energy? NO!
The other guy at the park is most likely just being a casual friendly stranger and you are taking a meaning out of it which will fill your vacuum at this moment. Trust me, you don't want to enter this unfamiliar territory which you will start getting used to and slowly outside attention is what you will begin to crave for at any cost.
No point messing up things further. See, if it's possible to rebuild your relationship with your husband. Initially, it may seem too much BUT hey, it takes two people to make a marriage...start first and see what happens even if your in-laws keep interfering, it's about being persistent...Make that attempt...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6856 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Money
Im investing 5k Monthly in LiC jeevan anandg for past 7 years. Policy plan matures on 21 year. Return around 22 lkh on maturity. Hearing about sip, same amount invetested in sip maturiy amount looks higher. Should i really stop my lic investment and redirect the funds to sip for 15 r 20 years, pls advice
Ans: LIC Jeevan Anand offers both insurance and savings. However, such plans usually provide modest returns. You mentioned your plan will give Rs. 22 lakh on maturity after 21 years. While it offers life cover, the returns from these traditional plans are generally lower than market-linked investments like mutual funds.

Insurance-cum-investment plans bundle insurance with savings, but each may underperform compared to separate insurance and investment solutions. You may want to assess if holding the policy further aligns with your financial growth goals.

Impact of Redirecting to SIPs
SIP investments in mutual funds have the potential for higher returns over the long term. With regular contributions, equity funds can benefit from market growth and compounding.

By stopping your LIC premiums and redirecting to SIPs, you could explore higher returns, particularly over 15 to 20 years. The flexibility of SIPs allows adjustments based on changing financial conditions, unlike fixed traditional plans.

Taxation Benefits and Drawbacks
LIC maturity proceeds are usually tax-exempt under Section 10(10D) of the Income Tax Act. On the other hand, equity mutual funds have new capital gains taxation rules.

For SIPs, long-term capital gains (LTCG) above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%. This taxation needs to be considered, but even with taxes, the growth potential could exceed traditional insurance plans.

Insurance and Investments: A Better Approach
Instead of combining insurance and investment in one product, a Certified Financial Planner would suggest separating them. You can retain life cover with a term insurance policy, which offers higher coverage at a lower cost. This ensures your family’s financial security.

Meanwhile, investments through mutual fund SIPs offer targeted financial growth, like child education or retirement planning. Regularly tracking and rebalancing these investments also ensures they stay aligned with your long-term goals.

Should You Surrender LIC? A Careful Evaluation
Surrendering an insurance policy midway can result in a reduced payout. You need to check the surrender value and compare it with your financial situation. If the surrender value is significantly lower, you may decide to continue.

However, future premiums can be redirected toward SIPs to optimise returns. It is a gradual shift rather than an immediate stop. Also, since you have already completed seven years, evaluate if staying invested till maturity aligns with your expectations.

Why Mutual Funds Are a Strong Option
Higher Returns: Equity mutual funds have historically outperformed traditional insurance plans over the long term.

Liquidity: Mutual funds offer liquidity, allowing withdrawals in case of emergencies without penalties.

Professional Management: Mutual fund managers actively manage your investments, aiming for higher growth. This gives you an advantage compared to passive, fixed insurance returns.

Goal-Based Planning: With SIPs, you can create a corpus for retirement, children’s education, or wealth creation.

Avoiding the Pitfalls of Direct Funds
Many individuals are attracted to direct funds because of lower expenses. However, managing your portfolio alone may become overwhelming. Direct plans require constant monitoring and a deep understanding of markets.

Investing through a Mutual Fund Distributor (MFD) with a Certified Financial Planner can provide expert advice. A professional helps with portfolio rebalancing, tax-saving strategies, and timely switches between funds. This structured support can optimise your wealth-building journey.

Active Funds vs. Index Funds
Index funds passively follow the market, but they may not provide the best results during market volatility. Actively managed funds, on the other hand, aim to outperform the market through the expertise of fund managers.

In volatile times, active funds have the flexibility to adjust holdings. This ensures your investment portfolio remains aligned with market trends. Active management adds value, especially for long-term goals like retirement or wealth accumulation.

Long-Term SIPs and Financial Freedom
Shifting your LIC premium to SIPs for 15 to 20 years can help build substantial wealth. Even with market fluctuations, staying invested ensures you benefit from compounding and market recoveries.

SIPs also offer the flexibility to increase contributions over time as your income grows. This ensures your wealth-building efforts remain in sync with your financial aspirations.

Final Insights
Redirecting your LIC premium to SIPs can enhance your financial growth. However, surrendering the policy needs careful evaluation of costs and benefits. If the surrender value is low, continuing the policy till maturity could be wiser.

Separating insurance and investment ensures better coverage and optimised returns. Mutual funds, through SIPs, offer a versatile approach to building wealth, providing liquidity, flexibility, and professional management.

A balanced approach, where you retain essential life cover and invest systematically, will secure both your financial future and your family's needs.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |6856 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 29, 2024Hindi
Money
Dear team, Hi I’m 46 years would like to start my investment in MF for 5 to 10 years . Till now I have not invested in any share market or MF. I have selected the following funds: 1. Nippon India large cap funds-Rs 10000. 2. Nippon India Small cap fund- Rs 10000. 3. Nippon India Multi cap fund -Rs 7500. 4. Motilal oswal Mid cap fund- Rs 10000. 5. Quant small cap fund- Rs 5000. 6. HDFC Focused 30 fund- Rs. 7500 Also I am NRI I working in Gulf there the above mentioned plan are regular plan thru ICICI direct as I am unable to update my KYC online. Please suggest me that the above mentioned funds are good to invest for 5 to 10 years
Ans: Firstly, your selection to start investing in mutual funds is commendable. As you’re new to mutual funds and looking for a 5 to 10-year investment horizon, a balanced approach across different fund types is a sound choice. This portfolio aligns well with a diversified strategy, as it includes large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, multi-cap, and focused funds. Now, let’s look at each aspect in detail for better clarity.

Diversification: A Strategic Mix of Funds

Large-Cap Funds: Large-cap funds typically invest in established, stable companies. They bring stability to a portfolio and help balance the potential risk associated with mid-cap and small-cap funds. Large-cap funds are especially beneficial if you want consistent growth with lower risk than small- and mid-cap segments. They are known for their ability to protect capital during market downturns, offering smoother returns over the long term.

Small-Cap Funds: Small-cap funds tend to offer high growth potential but with a higher risk factor. They invest in emerging companies, which may experience considerable price fluctuations. However, for a 5- to 10-year horizon, small-cap funds can yield substantial returns as these smaller companies mature and grow in market valuation. Your allocation to small-cap funds can be a growth driver but requires monitoring.

Multi-Cap Funds: Multi-cap funds provide exposure to large-, mid-, and small-cap companies in a single fund. This gives them the flexibility to adapt to market conditions. Multi-cap funds are beneficial because they can shift their asset allocation to match market dynamics, offering growth potential with moderate risk.

Mid-Cap Funds: Mid-cap funds invest in companies that are in the growth phase and have the potential to become large-cap companies over time. They offer a blend of stability and growth. Including a mid-cap fund in your portfolio is advantageous as it balances the risk and return profile between large-cap and small-cap funds.

Focused Funds: These funds concentrate on a limited number of stocks. This focused approach can yield higher returns if the fund manager's choices perform well. However, it carries higher risk due to limited diversification. For a 5 to 10-year horizon, a focused fund can add significant value to your portfolio but should remain only a part of it.

Evaluation of Regular vs Direct Plans

Since you are investing through ICICI Direct and using regular plans, let’s examine the benefits of regular funds, especially for NRIs. Regular funds offer access to certified financial planners (CFPs) who can provide guidance on market trends, rebalancing strategies, and portfolio reviews. This is advantageous as managing a portfolio from abroad can be challenging. With a regular plan, the extra expense ratio cost is justified by the value-added services provided by ICICI Direct and their advisory services.

Benefits of Actively Managed Funds Over Index Funds

Actively managed funds aim to outperform the market through expert stock selection, which is valuable for short- to medium-term horizons like 5 to 10 years. Actively managed funds can react to market changes, unlike index funds, which simply track an index without considering market fluctuations. Moreover, index funds might not offer the same level of diversification in emerging markets, potentially limiting returns.

Tax Considerations for NRIs

Mutual fund investments for NRIs in India are subject to tax implications that can affect your returns. The new capital gains tax rules specify that:

Long-Term Capital Gains (LTCG): For equity mutual funds, gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Holding funds longer than one year generally qualifies as long-term for equity investments.

Short-Term Capital Gains (STCG): Gains realized within a year are taxed at 20%.

Having a clear tax strategy is important to manage the impact of these taxes on your returns. You may consult your financial planner or tax advisor to structure withdrawals efficiently and keep tax liabilities manageable.

Investment Horizon and Risk Management

With a 5- to 10-year investment horizon, a balanced risk profile is critical. Here’s a recommended strategy to ensure a well-rounded portfolio:

Allocate according to time frame: Given your timeframe, it may be wise to invest more in large-cap and multi-cap funds initially for stability, then gradually increase exposure to mid-cap and small-cap funds if your risk tolerance grows.

Systematic Withdrawals: Nearing the 5-year mark, consider a systematic withdrawal plan (SWP) to start securing profits. SWPs allow you to take out funds in a structured way, protecting gains while minimizing tax impacts and potential market volatility.

Market Timing and Rebalancing

Market volatility can affect returns, especially in mid- and small-cap funds. Regularly reviewing and rebalancing your portfolio can help you adjust exposure to each category as needed. Your ICICI Direct advisory service can help assess when market conditions favor reallocating funds, ensuring you stay aligned with your goals.

Final Insights

Your portfolio selection indicates a thoughtful approach, diversified across market segments. With regular plans through ICICI Direct, you’re well-positioned to receive professional support, critical for managing your investments as an NRI. Staying focused on your financial goals, rebalancing as needed, and maintaining a tax-efficient strategy will help you make the most of your investments.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |379 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Oct 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 16, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi, my girlfriend stocks my ex social accounts due to some trust issues given by me ,after many attempts of saying that please stop stocking her because at the end it came to a fight so I decided to take a step and I contacted my ex with one of my friends help and ask her to please block my girlfriend account from you social platforms so that we can live a happy life together. But this thing was out from my mouth that I have done this to protect our relationship later few days when she comes to know that she is blocked and now she has broken up with me for making her disrespect and low confidence. What should I do to save my relationship as I have take this step to just work the things btw us.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand you have given her reasons to distrust you but do you think a relationship can work without trust? Whatever you have done to cause this, if the both of you have decided to set it aside and move forward, then this constant stalking isn't right on her part. A healthy relationship focuses on the present and future, not the past. Give her a moment to cool down and once the time is right, you can contact her again and have a clear discussion with her about the same. But more importantly, I'd suggest you think long and hard before you put in effort to make things right.

Reconsidering the relationship might be good for both your mental health. Even if you two decide to patch things up, there is only one right approach to any relationship- she will trust you, and you will never break it again. That's the only way this relationship can work. This is merely a suggestion. Please reflect on it before you rush to any decision.

Best Wishes.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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