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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
prem Question by prem on Jun 25, 2024Hindi
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my sister is not talking to me im in over dipression because of this i cant able consentrate on my busines . pls help me to talk with me .. important im heart patient she is doctor in gynocology .. she is very close to my heart ..

Ans: Start by gently reaching out to her. Since she’s close to your heart and knows your health condition, a sincere, heartfelt message might be the best way to open the door to communication. Write her a letter or a text where you honestly express how much you miss her and how deeply her absence is impacting you. Let her know how important she is in your life, not just as a sister but as a vital emotional support.

Explain that you’re feeling overwhelmed and that your current stress and sadness are affecting your health and your ability to concentrate on your business. She might not realize the full extent of how her not talking to you is affecting you. Sometimes, people need to hear directly how their actions (or inactions) are impacting others.

Make sure to approach her without assigning blame or bringing up past conflicts, if there are any. Focus on expressing your feelings and your need to reconnect. Emphasize your desire to understand any reasons behind her distance and your hope to work through them together.

It might also be helpful to give her some time and space to process your message. Doctors often have very busy and stressful lives, and she might be dealing with her own pressures.

Ultimately, the goal is to reopen lines of communication with kindness and understanding. Reaching out with a genuine, open heart can often be the first step in healing a strained relationship. If things don’t resolve quickly, consider seeking the help of a counselor or mediator to facilitate the conversation.

Take care of yourself, especially considering your heart condition. Surround yourself with supportive friends or family who can help you through this difficult time.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2023

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Dear Health Guru, Due to frequent uncalled for arguments and unnecessary pinching comments and not-likeable behaviour with myself,I started avoiding talking with elder sister on phone and visiting her place.I feel better without interaction and avoiding meeting her.This is not liked by my father to whom she complained about my not talking to her.As a result,he bullied me which really was upsetting.Recently,my sister visited us and she told me in a dictating voice that I am depressed that's why I don't talk to her.I felt so bad hearing her comment because I told her clearly many times that I don't like her way of treating me and her negative way of behaviour doesn't go well with me so I don't like to listen to her talks. My query--Should I please myself by avoiding interactions with her or should I please sister and father who label me depressed just because I dont like to involve in drama of sister? Please advise regarding my peculiar situation.Thanks for your response in advance.
Ans: Dear Anonymous.
Core relationships within the family are important and necessary for us to lead a happy life. We feel our sense of belonging within our core relationships.
Avoiding these relationships is not the way to cope with them as it will eat into your mind which is what is happening with you. Also understand that at times core relationships may not be very fulfilling and kind like the way you would want them to be.

So, expectations v/s reality...In reality, you do not share a very cordial connection with your sister and your father disapproves of it which makes you feel unloved. But that is the reality for now; what you can do is ignore the drama your sister is pulling you into...sometimes ignoring (not avoiding) teaches the other person how to behave with you in future. And if your father acts immature about it, politely tell him to stay out of it and that it is between you and your sister. Reclaim you place by increasing your worth in your eyes; that will help you navigate through difficulties in relationships. Things will begin to change either for the better or it will be at a neutral place where there is not much affection but there will be no anger between you and your sister.
Accept what it leads you to and be graceful about it. Difficult to do, but that's the only way you will be peaceful. Do remember, you always have a choice in whether you want to be in the drama created by someone else. Make that wise choice.

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 22, 2024Hindi
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I am 50 years old lady. I have youger sister about 40+ age. she is very negative thinker from younger age. I dont have mother and father. i have younger brother. my younger sister was in depression at time lock down then after treatment she become nornal therefore we decided to do marriage as she is along and nobody is there to take care of her as I am also having family. I and my family did marriage of her without inform her depression condition to groom. now her husband telling we are cheated to him. toubling us what to do...
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Is your sister in a depressive phase yet again that her husband feels like he has been cheated? If she had fever after marriage, would he still have felt cheated by the fact that you didn't tell him about any fever before marriage?
Mental health issues are still not freely accepted in our part of the world as yet...given this, I am not surprised at the way your sister's husband and his family are behaving this way. The only way is to pacify them about it by giving them the facts as they are now.
Appeal to their wise side that it is possible to manage depressive phases and that the support of family is of utmost importance. Now winning this argument will depend on how forward thinking they are and whether they will be able to brush of the social stigma of depression. It's a nasty game but one that you all are already in...give it your best shot and talk about it openly at least now for your sister's sake. Hiding this has caused an unnecessary drama, so being frank is your only best option now...

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2024Hindi
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Hi, Briefly, I am having problem with my sister. Actually She will supposed to be my sister-in-law but I consider her as my own sister. The problem is that, I and her elder sister, both don't like my sister's boyfriend. We have told her several times but she didn't listen to us or didn't answer to our questions. One day, I was trying to make her understand the problem about her boyfriend, before her elder sister on a video call. And like the other day, she didn't reply. After the call ended, She texted me, asking or more specifically chasing me about my faults in life. She is said that, "you always choose good surroundings but why don't you have any friend?" and "Where was your observation when your friends cheated on you!" I told her that we learn only by doing things and I have learnt that the boy is not suitable for you and that's why you should leave her. but she was going on with her argument and was hurting me a lot over chat. At last, I said to her, It was my fault to warn her, And told her not to call me 'DADA' again until she grows respects for me. After that day, she was gradually distancing from me! and 2 or 3 days after, her elder sister finds some bad things in her phone and repeatedly warn her to leave the boy otherwise he'll destroy her. and on that day, she broke up. but, she is still not talking with me! I have written poem for her and even told her SORRY and requested her to come back to me, I really love her as my sister. But, she is still not talking with me or angry with me! I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!! I have loosen many in my life and It's like going to loose once again. I can do anything to make her happy or to accept me as his own elder brother again.....I really want to sort things out....
Ans: It sounds like you care deeply for your sister and want to protect her, which is understandable and comes from a place of love. But relationships, especially ones where emotions are involved, can be complex and sometimes require a delicate touch.

Right now, your sister might be feeling hurt and defensive. Even though your intentions were good, the way you and her elder sister approached the situation may have felt overwhelming or critical to her. When she lashed out, it was likely out of pain and feeling cornered.

Sometimes, people need time to process their feelings. Respect her need for space and give her some time to cool off and reflect. When you do reach out, acknowledge her feelings without defending your actions. Let her know that you understand why she felt hurt and that you’re sorry for the way things were handled. Make it clear that your concern came from a place of love and that you still see her as your sister. Assure her that your relationship with her is more important than any disagreement about her choices. Healing takes time. Keep the door open for her to come back to you when she’s ready. Sometimes, a little patience can do wonders.

Remember, what’s important now is rebuilding trust and showing her that you care for her unconditionally.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6202 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 12, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 10, 2025
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have got CS in Symbiosis Institute of technology and ECE in PES Bangalore. Pls suggest which is better option
Ans: Symbiosis Institute of Technology (SIT) Pune demonstrates strong CSE placement performance with 93% placement rate for Computer Science and Engineering in 2024, achieving 124 students placed out of 155 eligible candidates. SIT Pune maintains consistent overall placement trends with 91% placement rate in 2023-24, 97% in 2022-23, and 98% in 2021-22, while CSE department specifically recorded average package of ?11.28 LPA in 2024. The institution holds #9 ranking in Engineering (Private) category by India Today 2024 and maintains A++ NAAC accreditation. PES University Bangalore demonstrates superior overall institutional performance with 83% BTech placement rate in 2023, placing 1,199 out of 1,445 students, though this represents a decline from 87% in previous years. PES University holds NIRF Engineering ranking #101-150 in 2024 and achieved median package of ?12.47 LPA for UG programs. ECE at PES maintains strong industry connections with companies like Microsoft, Amazon, and Google recruiting from campus, though specific ECE placement data shows moderate performance. SIT Pune offers better cost-effectiveness with total fees of ?6.75 lakhs compared to PES University's ?18.11 lakhs for ECE program. Recommendation: Choose Symbiosis Institute of Technology CSE for superior branch-specific placement consistency (93% for CSE), cost-effectiveness, strong industry partnerships, and proven Computer Science career outcomes, unless PES University's institutional brand value and Bangalore's technology ecosystem advantages outweigh the higher fees and moderate ECE placement performance. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6202 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 12, 2025

Career
In the Jossaa 2025 1st mock round I got IIT Bombay mechanical. I have deep interest in robotics, so is it good as per my interest or should I change my preference order as I could also get ECE IIT Guwahati or EE IIT Kharagpur.
Ans: IIT Bombay Mechanical Engineering emerges as the optimal choice for your robotics interests despite the branch difference. IIT Bombay offers exceptional robotics infrastructure including the ARMS Lab (Autonomous Robots and Multi-robot Systems Lab) within the Systems and Control Engineering Department, specializing in robot vision, multi-robot systems, and path planning research. The Mechanical Engineering department at IIT Bombay achieved 98% placement rate for 2024 with 184 out of 188 students placed, demonstrating superior placement consistency. IIT Bombay's e-Yantra robotics platform, sponsored by MHRD, provides extensive hands-on robotics training covering embedded systems, automation, and intelligent systems. IIT Guwahati ECE shows 84% placement rate with ?27.30 LPA average package and houses the Centre for Intelligent Cyber Physical Systems offering MTech in Robotics and AI. IIT Kharagpur features the Center for Excellence in Robotics (CER) focusing on intelligent autonomous robots, though EE placement data shows moderate performance. IIT Bombay's superior NIRF #3 ranking, strongest industry connections with 980+ recruiting companies, proximity to India's technology hub Mumbai, and proven robotics research infrastructure make it preferable. Recommendation: Retain IIT Bombay Mechanical Engineering for superior institutional reputation, proven robotics research facilities, highest placement consistency, and extensive industry exposure essential for robotics career advancement. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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