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Kanchan Rai |496 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 25, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Question by prem on Jun 25, 2024Hindi

Relationship

my sister is not talking to me im in over dipression because of this i cant able consentrate on my busines . pls help me to talk with me .. important im heart patient she is doctor in gynocology .. she is very close to my heart ..

Ans: Start by gently reaching out to her. Since she’s close to your heart and knows your health condition, a sincere, heartfelt message might be the best way to open the door to communication. Write her a letter or a text where you honestly express how much you miss her and how deeply her absence is impacting you. Let her know how important she is in your life, not just as a sister but as a vital emotional support.

Explain that you’re feeling overwhelmed and that your current stress and sadness are affecting your health and your ability to concentrate on your business. She might not realize the full extent of how her not talking to you is affecting you. Sometimes, people need to hear directly how their actions (or inactions) are impacting others.

Make sure to approach her without assigning blame or bringing up past conflicts, if there are any. Focus on expressing your feelings and your need to reconnect. Emphasize your desire to understand any reasons behind her distance and your hope to work through them together.

It might also be helpful to give her some time and space to process your message. Doctors often have very busy and stressful lives, and she might be dealing with her own pressures.

Ultimately, the goal is to reopen lines of communication with kindness and understanding. Reaching out with a genuine, open heart can often be the first step in healing a strained relationship. If things don’t resolve quickly, consider seeking the help of a counselor or mediator to facilitate the conversation.

Take care of yourself, especially considering your heart condition. Surround yourself with supportive friends or family who can help you through this difficult time.

RelationshipReply

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 10, 2023

Question by . - Jun 05, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Dear Health Guru, Due to frequent uncalled for arguments and unnecessary pinching comments and not-likeable behaviour with myself,I started avoiding talking with elder sister on phone and visiting her place.I feel better without interaction and avoiding meeting her.This is not liked by my father to whom she complained about my not talking to her.As a result,he bullied me which really was upsetting.Recently,my sister visited us and she told me in a dictating voice that I am depressed that's why I don't talk to her.I felt so bad hearing her comment because I told her clearly many times that I don't like her way of treating me and her negative way of behaviour doesn't go well with me so I don't like to listen to her talks. My query--Should I please myself by avoiding interactions with her or should I please sister and father who label me depressed just because I dont like to involve in drama of sister? Please advise regarding my peculiar situation.Thanks for your response in advance.

Ans: Dear Anonymous.
Core relationships within the family are important and necessary for us to lead a happy life. We feel our sense of belonging within our core relationships.
Avoiding these relationships is not the way to cope with them as it will eat into your mind which is what is happening with you. Also understand that at times core relationships may not be very fulfilling and kind like the way you would want them to be.

So, expectations v/s reality...In reality, you do not share a very cordial connection with your sister and your father disapproves of it which makes you feel unloved. But that is the reality for now; what you can do is ignore the drama your sister is pulling you into...sometimes ignoring (not avoiding) teaches the other person how to behave with you in future. And if your father acts immature about it, politely tell him to stay out of it and that it is between you and your sister. Reclaim you place by increasing your worth in your eyes; that will help you navigate through difficulties in relationships. Things will begin to change either for the better or it will be at a neutral place where there is not much affection but there will be no anger between you and your sister.
Accept what it leads you to and be graceful about it. Difficult to do, but that's the only way you will be peaceful. Do remember, you always have a choice in whether you want to be in the drama created by someone else. Make that wise choice.

All the best!

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 09, 2023

Question by Raghav - Oct 06, 2023Hindi

Relationship

Hi Anu...I dont want to be named but want to share my issues here with you to guidance. Im married and live with my wife and 2 year old son in Noida and my parents lives in some village in UP approx 500 Kms afar. My initial upbriging was done by my Grandparants at separate place till age of 10 so never got any chance to get along with my poarants very well as lived with them for only 4 years then shifted Noida. now the issue issus is my sister who is 5-6 years younger than me has been living with paranets since birth and became very arrogant and irresponsible in life as my parants never tried to correct her instead they always push me to get along citing Im older..she never even accepted my wife and even tried to conspire against my baby boy by filing my mothers mind for years. my parents married her 4 years ago but she dont spend even a month continuously at her inlawa and dont get along with them...she want to sta with my paranets as nobody bothers her in what she wants to do... when anybody try to make her realise that she is wrong she start threating them by saying that she will harm herself...actually she never does. My parents are getting older and dont want to see them suffer mentally and financially anymore but them cant come with me as they have take care of my Great Grandparents..she is too proud to say sorry to me for things she has done but my parents emotionally blackmailing to to talk to her....what should I do...

Ans: Dear R,
Obviously your parents have no clue that their over indulgence in your sister and her life is causing her misery. Their relationship is unhealthy and they are unaware of it...things are sure to go downhill until one of them pulls back...in this case, the ideal thing would be for your parents to pull back and cut financial and emotional support till she starts behaving like an adult and become accountable for herself and her life.
Some people just don't want to grow up...and that is because they have parents or parent figures who fill in their every need and fulfil their every want.
This becomes a habit and when they don't get what they want, they will threaten just like your sister does...she basically likes playing the 'child' and hence your parents are never out of their responsibility of parenting...make them aware that it is enough and a tough stance will set her right and help her build her life.
A grown up must be one and just keep the child alive in them...but here your sister just wants to be the child and keep happily playing thar role as the parents are allowing it...kindly intervene and help your parents understand and do the right thing for their daughter...

All the best!

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 25, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 22, 2024Hindi

Relationship

I am 50 years old lady. I have youger sister about 40+ age. she is very negative thinker from younger age. I dont have mother and father. i have younger brother. my younger sister was in depression at time lock down then after treatment she become nornal therefore we decided to do marriage as she is along and nobody is there to take care of her as I am also having family. I and my family did marriage of her without inform her depression condition to groom. now her husband telling we are cheated to him. toubling us what to do...

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Is your sister in a depressive phase yet again that her husband feels like he has been cheated? If she had fever after marriage, would he still have felt cheated by the fact that you didn't tell him about any fever before marriage?
Mental health issues are still not freely accepted in our part of the world as yet...given this, I am not surprised at the way your sister's husband and his family are behaving this way. The only way is to pacify them about it by giving them the facts as they are now.
Appeal to their wise side that it is possible to manage depressive phases and that the support of family is of utmost importance. Now winning this argument will depend on how forward thinking they are and whether they will be able to brush of the social stigma of depression. It's a nasty game but one that you all are already in...give it your best shot and talk about it openly at least now for your sister's sake. Hiding this has caused an unnecessary drama, so being frank is your only best option now...

All the best!

Kanchan Rai |496 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2024Hindi

Relationship

Hi, Briefly, I am having problem with my sister. Actually She will supposed to be my sister-in-law but I consider her as my own sister. The problem is that, I and her elder sister, both don't like my sister's boyfriend. We have told her several times but she didn't listen to us or didn't answer to our questions. One day, I was trying to make her understand the problem about her boyfriend, before her elder sister on a video call. And like the other day, she didn't reply. After the call ended, She texted me, asking or more specifically chasing me about my faults in life. She is said that, "you always choose good surroundings but why don't you have any friend?" and "Where was your observation when your friends cheated on you!" I told her that we learn only by doing things and I have learnt that the boy is not suitable for you and that's why you should leave her. but she was going on with her argument and was hurting me a lot over chat. At last, I said to her, It was my fault to warn her, And told her not to call me 'DADA' again until she grows respects for me. After that day, she was gradually distancing from me! and 2 or 3 days after, her elder sister finds some bad things in her phone and repeatedly warn her to leave the boy otherwise he'll destroy her. and on that day, she broke up. but, she is still not talking with me! I have written poem for her and even told her SORRY and requested her to come back to me, I really love her as my sister. But, she is still not talking with me or angry with me! I don't know what to do!!!!!!!!!! I have loosen many in my life and It's like going to loose once again. I can do anything to make her happy or to accept me as his own elder brother again.....I really want to sort things out....

Ans: It sounds like you care deeply for your sister and want to protect her, which is understandable and comes from a place of love. But relationships, especially ones where emotions are involved, can be complex and sometimes require a delicate touch.

Right now, your sister might be feeling hurt and defensive. Even though your intentions were good, the way you and her elder sister approached the situation may have felt overwhelming or critical to her. When she lashed out, it was likely out of pain and feeling cornered.

Sometimes, people need time to process their feelings. Respect her need for space and give her some time to cool off and reflect. When you do reach out, acknowledge her feelings without defending your actions. Let her know that you understand why she felt hurt and that you’re sorry for the way things were handled. Make it clear that your concern came from a place of love and that you still see her as your sister. Assure her that your relationship with her is more important than any disagreement about her choices. Healing takes time. Keep the door open for her to come back to you when she’s ready. Sometimes, a little patience can do wonders.

Remember, what’s important now is rebuilding trust and showing her that you care for her unconditionally.

Latest Questions

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi

Relationship

My wife died in 2017 cause of death was unknown but I had doubt that she ingested something and it was because of me as I was always keeping distance between her. This thought never let me sleeps peacefully I always think if she ingested something what amount of trouble she was experienced.I feel so guilty that this thought gives me panic attack.I am an able to breath. Is this what we call karma which return it way of this deadliest thought. Kindly help me how I can surpass this thought and live healthy life.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I strongly suggest that you see an expert who can help you with this entire journey. It's not simple yet it can have a solution for you. Approach a professional and let them work with you guiding you step by step on not only releasing guilt BUT also work on your past relationship with your late wife which needs closure.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi

Relationship

Hello..I met him on Jan 4 th of 2024.. this year he is not with me. We were in a relationship for almost 8 months. Everything was fine and blissful. Last December he told me he needs some time to decide about our relationship. First of all it was a blow to my confidence..I thought he will stay by my side no matter what it is. After a few days he told me he wants to move on. I was in no contact for 10 days. After I went back and called him..he told me he is talking with another girl and he likes her and going to marry her. My world was broken. The reason for this? Our horoscopes doesn't match also he brings up caste differences even though there is not much difference. We were each other's best friends cared and loved each other so much. Stood by eachother's tough times..I begged him I cried d...I lost all my self respect..I somehow wanted to keep him with me...but he threw me away. It pains a lot. I haven't recovered yet..but he is going to marry her very soon...the toughest part here is I have to see him everyday atleast for the next 6 months. How will I handle if he gets engaged? How will I handle when he gives out his wedding cards? I have big goals in life I want to achieve them. But I am terrified what if it all crumbles because of my inability to handle this pain and suffering? What should I do? Your suggestion is very much needed.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You did invest too much of yourself in him; but who can stop the way feelings move, right?
As hard as it maybe to accept this reality, move on...initially, it will be painful, but it's not worth losing yourself to anyone. Protect your identity and know that it does not stem from anyone or anything BUT it's YOU who defines it.
Maybe the past year that you lost time and could not focus on your goals, this year can be your year. Let him do what he needs to; why focus on someone who did not have the decency or courage to tell you things on your face. What will you gain by actually being with a person like that? I am sure you deserve much more...
Your goals and aspirations need you; go for it!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 13, 2025Hindi

Relationship

My wife has started following Premanand ji maharaj and has stopped any intimacy between us since last one year. This has resulted v badly on me as my address level has increased, my blood pressure has increased and I have started feeling lonely. Have spoken to her several times, but no change.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
At times, spiritual paths can temporarily derail people from what they are used to; it can just be a new way of living life...But since this is over a year and it has begun to bother you, don't you think you must talk to your wife and tell her how you feel. If you are quiet about it, obviously she's going to go with her changes and not think much about how things are getting affected back home; which she in fact should.
It is easy for people to get swayed by influential people and forget who they are and what they must be doing. I only hope this change is a temporary one and that your wife comes back to where she belongs and adopts the changes into her life positively,

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Question by arun - Jan 12, 2025Hindi

Relationship

How can I convince anyone for having trust over me ?

Ans: Dear Arun,
You cannot convince anyone of anything. Especially when it comes to TRUST, it's not a mere word. Display this in action where you do what you say/promise and be consistent with it. Trust then builds over time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Anu Krishna |1442 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Question by Work - Jan 11, 2025Hindi

Relationship

The seconds of time during taking action..I get into the overthinking/over-analysing thoughts... 1. Imaginative: Where I becom's the character & live life(see images, speak..) in those..like being rich,powerfull,disciplined,wife,kids....things which I want/perceive from social media...+ memos of past also.. 2. Stuck: Where I becom's a "OBJECT" & voices + images of brain guides me to quit task's when doing things/challenging...by saying.. *What this thing(task/book..) gonna benefit you? *Don't do it, you will do worse/fail..people gonna judge/laugh to you...look yourself!!..no good face, no good dress, u don't hv courage/skill to do that thing. 3. Coping: "Quit it" & use Mobile(songs,reels,yt videos..) to stop/distract myself from those dark clouds. i) What/How [solution] to don't get stuck in those next time. ii) How to use that overthinking for my advantage.. with hving control. iii) I tried to fill the possible voids by dress/looks but things were same..so it's internal.. What to do for that?

Ans: Dear Work,
Overthinking and over processing never helped anyone. Focus on your self-talk and change that.
- Journaling
- Sports
- Art work
- Meditation
- Breathwork
These are a few ways in which you can attempt to slow down the mind from racing thoughts. Once that happens, work on your self-talk to make it more useful where you start to direct yourself towards what you want to do.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Mayank Chandel |1965 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Question by SS - Jan 12, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir 1 have 6 year gap between class 10 and 12 and now I cleared jee exam so I am able to get any nit if I have 6 year gap between 10 and 12

Ans: Hi SS
For appearing in the JEE Main 2025, there is no age limit for the candidates. Candidates who have passed the class 12 or are in equivalent examination in 2023, 2024 or appearing in 2025 irrespective of their age can appear in the JEE Main - 2025

Mayank Chandel |1965 Answers |Ask -Follow

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Question by Vaishnavi - Jan 16, 2025Hindi

Career

I had given improvement exam but scored less than original exam during form filling of neet what marksheet's roll no. Should i fill in neet form

Ans: Hi Vaishnavi
you should fill only the roll no of that marksheet with more marks.

Nayagam P P |4059 Answers |Ask -Follow

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi

Career

Sir, my daughter has got 22nd morning shift for her jee mains, being first anything to be prepared or to be careful? Pls guide

Ans: All the BEST for your Daughter's JEE January Session. All instructions clearly explained just 1-week back in EduJob360 YouTube Channel. Please advise your daughter to watch the same when time permits. MOST IMPORTANT: Please take her to the Exam Centre (even if it is nearby) tomorrow morning to know the time taken to reach the centre, spend around 30 minutes there and come back (to remove her exam fear). SECOND IMPORTANT: To have very light food on 22nd morning and carry a transparent small water bottle (if allowed inside the hall). For the rest, please wath the video which is in detail. Once again, All The BEST for your Daughter's JEE & other Entrance Exams. Please follow RediffGURUS to know more on 'Careers | Jobs | Education'.

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7550 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Question by Prajwal - Jan 19, 2025Hindi

Money

Hello Sir. I have Rs1,00,000 that I want to invest as a lump sum in SBI Mutual Funds for the long term (15+ years). Considering that SBI has one of the largest Asset Management Companies (AMCs), could you please recommend which SBI Mutual Funds would be suitable for such an investment and have the potential to deliver good returns over this period? I am doing this investment for my daughter's education.

Ans: Your decision to invest Rs 1,00,000 for your daughter's education is commendable. A long-term horizon of 15+ years offers significant growth potential through mutual funds. Below are insights and recommendations to guide your investment.

Why SBI Mutual Funds?

SBI is one of India’s largest and most trusted AMCs.

They offer a wide range of funds suitable for different goals and risk levels.

Their consistent performance track record reflects sound fund management.

Key Factors to Consider for Long-Term Investments

Investment Objective:

Education is a critical financial goal.

Focus on wealth accumulation through equity-oriented funds.

Risk Appetite:

Equity funds involve volatility but offer high growth.

Ensure alignment with your risk tolerance.

Fund Type Selection:

Choose funds based on asset allocation and diversification.

Evaluate the performance of large-cap, mid-cap, and hybrid funds.

Tax Implications:

LTCG over Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

Understand taxation for equity and debt funds.

Suggested Fund Categories for Your Investment

1. Large-Cap Funds

Invest in funds focusing on well-established companies.

They offer stability and moderate risk.

Suitable for conservative investors.

2. Mid-Cap Funds

These funds focus on medium-sized companies with high growth potential.

They are riskier than large-cap funds but offer higher returns.

Suitable for investors willing to take calculated risks.

3. Flexi-Cap Funds

Invest across large, mid, and small-cap companies.

They offer diversification and the flexibility to adapt to market conditions.

Ideal for investors seeking balanced growth.

4. Equity-Linked Savings Schemes (ELSS)

ELSS funds offer tax benefits under Section 80C.

They have a lock-in period of three years.

Suitable for investors aiming for tax-efficient long-term growth.

5. Hybrid Funds

Invest in a mix of equity and debt instruments.

They offer stability through debt and growth through equity.

Suitable for moderate-risk investors.

Benefits of Investing Through a Certified Financial Planner (CFP)

CFPs offer expert guidance tailored to your goals.

They help monitor fund performance regularly.

They ensure optimal fund selection and rebalancing.

Regular plans through CFPs provide dedicated service and support.

Why Choose Actively Managed Funds?

Active funds aim to outperform benchmarks through expert fund management.

They offer higher potential returns compared to index funds.

Fund managers actively adjust portfolios based on market trends.

Ideal for long-term investors seeking growth.

Key Steps to Start Your Investment

Define your financial goal clearly.

Consult with a CFP for fund selection.

Review the chosen fund’s historical performance and portfolio composition.

Use SIPs for additional investments to benefit from rupee cost averaging.

Monitor your portfolio periodically to ensure alignment with your goals.

Final Insights

Investing in SBI Mutual Funds is a smart choice for your daughter’s education. Selecting the right fund category ensures growth and stability over 15+ years. Partnering with a Certified Financial Planner ensures professional guidance and optimal returns. Stay committed to your goal, review your investments regularly, and focus on long-term growth.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

Ramalingam Kalirajan |7550 Answers |Ask -Follow

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jan 19, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 19, 2025Hindi

Money

I am an NRI with an NRO trading account through Zerodha, but I cannot trade in F&O and Intraday. I have been filing my returns consistently though I have had no income in India in the last 10 years. But I have investments in MF, PPF, NPS, Medical and Life Insurances, ULIPs which were initiated while working in India and had tax saving options and it is being continued. I would like to trade in F&O and Intraday. My wife is not employed till date and has a regular savings account with the Bank which is Resident Indian normal account. She has never filed any IT returns since as there was no income and transactions from my side were only for family maintenance. My question is, can I open a regular trading account in her name so that we can do trading in F&O and Intraday? What are the necessary things which I need to follow for filing IT returns and how my investments can be helpful to file returns through her account. She doesn't have any investments except LIC & Health Insurance policies in her name for which I pay from myside.

Ans: Yes, you can open a trading account in your wife's name to trade in F&O and intraday; however, there are a few important considerations:

Steps to Open a Trading Account:
Convert Savings Account to a Trading-Compatible Account: Ensure her existing bank account supports trading transactions. If not, convert it to a trading-compatible savings account.
KYC Compliance: Complete her KYC process with updated details, including PAN, Aadhaar, and a valid address proof.
Link Demat and Trading Account: Open a Demat and trading account in her name with a broker that supports F&O and intraday trading for resident individuals.
Nominate a Separate Source of Funds: Ensure the funds transferred to her account are not directly linked to your NRI account to avoid legal and taxation issues.
Tax Implications:
Income from Trading: Any income generated from trading in her account will be considered her income. Since she has no other sources of income, her income from trading may be taxed as per the slab rate applicable to her.
Gift Declarations: Funds transferred to her account can be considered a gift. Gifts from a spouse are exempt from tax, but the income generated (through trading) will be clubbed with your income under Section 64 of the Income Tax Act.
Filing IT Returns:
She will need to file her own ITR if her total income (including trading profits) exceeds the taxable limit (Rs. 2.5 lakhs for individuals below 60).
Any clubbed income will still require an ITR to declare the source and details.
Investments for IT Filing:
Investments in her name (e.g., LIC and health insurance) can help:

Claim deductions under Section 80C for LIC premiums.
Claim deductions under Section 80D for health insurance premiums.
Alternative Suggestions:
Joint Investments: Instead of opening an account in her name, consider using investments in her name (LIC, insurance, etc.) to improve her financial standing without additional compliance.
Professional Advice: Engage a CA familiar with NRI taxation and clubbing provisions to ensure full compliance and proper structuring.
If you'd like detailed help with tax planning, compliance, or investment strategies, let me know!

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment.

See more questions »

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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