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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1563 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 01, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I am a single working mother 52 years of age.My son is 27 years has completed his MBA but currently sitting idle at home.He is having a relationship with the maid and when I objected to it he beat me mercilessly.How do I handle the situation as he wants to marry her.He is living off my money.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Would you think it will be cruel if I suggested that you throw him out?.
He has to be taught a lesson and the one who resorts to physical abuse for being corrected by his own mother needs a bit of harsh treatment. It's sad that this is your son treating you this way but since he is dependent on you for money, the day you stop giving him money and ask him to leave, you will be doing not just yourself but your son a huge favor.
Parents from the bird and animal kingdom do just that to enable their young ones to fend for themselves as they will not be around them forever.
Instead of giving your son the message that you will take care of his needs, kindly enable him to take care of himself and then he can do what he wishes to...Remember, that you still have the upper hand as you are making the money!

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1563 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 14, 2021

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Relationship
Hi...I feel totally stuck in life...not only me my husband too feel helpless. We both don’t know what to do in such situation. The problem is we have a son who is 22 yrs old, doesn’t want to work; wants to stay at home on pretext of preparing for any exam. He is not even studying at home. We can clearly see that but he refuses to go out for work whether at his own shop or for a job. We have given him enough time to stay at home for studies but every year there is different exam for which he wants to prepare. He doesn’t study sincerely at home. At least 5-6 years have passed. He’s not even attending his regular college for studies. All he wants is to stay at home. He refuses to step out from his comfort zone and has become too aggressive and abusive. Please guide us what we can do to motivate him to work. Thank you.
Ans: Dear KG, why would you keep indulging his whims?

The message to him from you as parents is loud and clear: Keep procrastinating by enrolling for new courses and then be in the comfort of home while you do this, and we will be absolutely okay with it.

When nothing else works, at times you need to take some drastic steps. Rewind to the time that you were raised by your parents… how much of leeway did you have? Did you get the long rope everytime?

There were rules, there were expectations to be fulfilled, there were needs to be met by you and the consequences of not adhering was not very pleasing.

Parents in this day raise entitled children who simply think that ‘anything goes’ with their parents.

It’s time you took the reins back from him; be stern and loving at the same time. He better realize that this time you mean business! No more entitlements…

You are helpless today because of what you were afraid to set down as rules…

Nothing is lost; so lean in and be the parents that he needs the most now to set his mind rolling in the right direction for him. Enable him to be responsible for his own actions and also evolve his own set of goals and achieve them.

A good Peak Performance Coach can absolutely do wonders for your son in terms of direction, goal setting and stepping up. Kindly look this up soon.

And as far as what you can do as parents is, help him build himself and if he falls, let him…pick him up lovingly BUT never step in to solve issues for him. Enable him…

Best wishes as always!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1563 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 31, 2025
Relationship
I am 52, mother of a daughter and son. Daughter is married and has two kids. My son is only 23. He is in love with a Bengali woman who is 12 years elder to him. I have met her briefly when my son invited her to a family event. He was laughing and cuddling up to her in front of all our guests much to our embarassment. I am a modern woman who has no qualms about anyone expressing his/her emotions. However, my concern is that this woman has begun to influence my son in a bad way. He has been partying away, splurging his savings and is now seeking my help to buy a flat in his girlfriend's name. I put my foot down and since then he has stopped talking to me. My daughter tells me that he has blocked me on his phone and social media. He has quit his job and I am worried he is not taking good care of himself. Meanwhile, the girl looks happy and has been spotted with other young guys at various places. I have not disclosed any of this to my son but I want him to know that he is being cheated on before it is too late. He is love sick and all our attempts to talk to him about this have failed. I feel helpless. What can I do to help my son recover from this mess?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
As a mother you are only trying to protect your son. So, find what you can on this woman and yes, your son needs to be shown that he is just being played and is another one of her 'boys'. Maybe then he will come to his senses. In the meantime, as a family try to surround him with love and a lot of care. He is only experimenting outside by rebelling at home OR he could very well be searching for some validation and attention outside. Give that attention to him at home and that will help him circle right back.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4367 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 21, 2025

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Career
My son got 91 percentile in jee mains session 1, category- GEN EWS Is he eligible for jee advanced and which colleges can he get with this percentile
Ans: Aaditya Sir, He will be eligible for JEE Advanced. As far as the Colleges he will be eligible to get, here is, How to Predict Your Son's Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Once the January JEE Main session results was declared, many students and JEE applicants started asking common questions about eligibility for specific institutes (NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, etc.) based on their percentile, category, preferred branch, and home state.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your son's admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Son's Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Your JEE Main percentile (Convert your percentile into All India Rank with the help of a formula available in Google).
Your son's category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If he is open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Your Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches your son is interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates Option also and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your son's expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your Son's admissions!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8124 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 21, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 28, 2025Hindi
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Money
I have invested in NPS (60000 per year) & PPF (125000 per year) UTI Index funds (50000 per year) emergency funds (75000 per year) after excluding all my expenses i can save 10k more. Which mutual funds i should invest?
Ans: Your existing investments are well-structured across different asset classes.

You are contributing Rs. 60,000 annually to NPS, ensuring retirement security.

Your PPF contribution of Rs. 1,25,000 provides tax-free growth and stability.

Your emergency fund of Rs. 75,000 annually ensures financial security.

However, index fund investment needs reconsideration for better growth potential.

Limitations of Index Funds
Index funds only replicate market performance and do not offer active management benefits.

Actively managed funds have a chance to outperform benchmarks over time.

Professional fund managers adjust portfolios based on market trends.

Index funds provide no flexibility during market downturns.

Market-cap-weighted indices allocate more to overvalued stocks, increasing risk.

Maximizing the Additional Rs. 10,000 Savings
Your Rs. 10,000 monthly surplus can enhance long-term wealth creation.

Investing in actively managed funds can provide higher potential returns.

Diversifying into growth-oriented equity mutual funds can be beneficial.

Sectoral and thematic funds can be explored for strategic allocation.

Avoiding overlapping funds ensures better risk-adjusted returns.

Choosing the Right Mutual Funds
Flexi-Cap Funds
Suitable for long-term growth and diversification.

Fund managers allocate across large, mid, and small-cap stocks.

Adaptability to market conditions enhances return potential.

Mid-Cap and Small-Cap Funds
Higher risk but potential for superior returns over 10-15 years.

Ideal for investors with long investment horizons.

Helps in wealth accumulation with disciplined SIPs.

Focused Funds
Invest in a limited number of high-potential stocks.

Better risk-adjusted returns with concentrated allocation.

Suitable for investors who can handle market fluctuations.

Sectoral and Thematic Funds
Focus on industries like manufacturing, technology, or consumption.

Good for long-term investment based on economic trends.

Requires careful selection to align with market cycles.

Ensuring Tax Efficiency
Long-term capital gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

Selecting funds with a long-term view minimizes tax impact.

Avoid frequent withdrawals to preserve compounding benefits.

Final Insights
Your financial planning is strong with disciplined investments.

Redirecting index fund investments to actively managed funds can improve growth.

Your additional Rs. 10,000 savings should be allocated strategically.

A mix of flexi-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, and focused funds ensures diversification.

Reviewing your portfolio periodically ensures alignment with financial goals.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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