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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |165 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2023

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
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Asked by Anonymous - Aug 11, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Shalini, Am in touch with a girl who is a doctor in Old Mumbai, Versova. She is practicing from 15 yrs and born and brought up from Mumbai only. She is around 40 yrs and am 43 yrs. She accepted via matrimony and now numbers are exchanged. She never does a VC nor comes to meet at mid way between Khargar to Versova. I stay in Khargar. I am requesting her many ways to meet, but she never responds when I say call VC or lets meet. She just talks via phone and reads whatsapp messages. Its almost from 2 months happening. Even at week ends she says she is busy but she attends all my calls at week days. But she never comes to meet nor to wish do VC also. Now whats your advice. Note; She is divorced without any child and it happened 10 years back. And I am purely unmarried and first marriage. Both of us horoscopes are matching with around 25 Gunas as per astrological reports. Pls advice further how to take it forward. Thanks,

Ans: How did you get the horoscope matched without meeting? And do you want to meet her because the horoscope says so? Its interesting that you think this way - while matching of horoscope may be important - its important to see if your values are aligned. But that would happen if you get to meet - the only interaction you have had is a few phone calls and few DM's, its been 2 months, she has not been able to take time out to meet. If I were you, I would not pursue this person any more. Wishing you the best.

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Love Guru

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Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 30, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2023Hindi
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I am 49 years male, married and having two kids aged 16 years and 13 years. My relations with my spouse are not smooth since many years and we don't have physical intimacy and don't have sex with more than five-six years. I am attracted towards a girl aged about 30 plus years working in my office. We used to go around after office hours, had some coffee and chat and then I dropped her at her residence. I have expressed my love to her and she has responded that she will be my friend forever and don't want to disturb and ruin my family. I was okay with this as I was mentally happy to have her as my friend. But from few days, she has started ignoring me and giving late replies to my messages. I asked her to meet after office hours but she refused on one pretext or other. For few days, we don't have any communications. I was very disturbed and depressed about her behaviour. I even asked the reasons why she has changed, but she replied that she has not... Now, we are exchanging only rare few official messages...... I am so much shocked that I am not even finding courage to ask her to meet.... I fear I might lost her......Kindly advise me
Ans: Look, at some point this girl is going to meet another man and start dating or get married. This change in her behaviour may be indicative of the fact that she has already met someone. And she is aware of your feelings for her, so is probably keeping her distance. My advice is to focus on your own marriage and family, please visit a counsellor and try getting your relationship with your wife back on track. This may be a blessing in disguise for you.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 29, 2024
Relationship
Hello Dr.Ashish, I'm married, 45 years self employed man. There was batch mate in my college, whom i was in love with. Due to some misunderstanding, we stopped talking for some time and I moved to other city for my job, but kept meeting her during my visits. I told everything i felt about her but she never accepted or refused. In general she used to tell everyone that she will never get married and she is aversive to physical relationship. Later on every 5 years or so we used to get in touch with each other and continue talking to each other and reach to a level where my feelings were at peak and then she will refuse or fight to move away.This was till I got married. After, 6 years of my marriage once we met in a shopping mall, in some other country, and exchanged pleasantries as well as contact; then started talking again. My marriage was/is a hell, so i had more to share with her, and she showed genuine interest in listening and advising. During this conversation our future also came in to discussion, due to extensive flashback discussion about our old times. She remembered every small big things except any event, where she has shown interest in our future together at personal level, but discussion of professional level association was intact. Eventually, one day she confirmed on we to be together, but not to over celebrate it and let it grow and work on execution ...means divorce part. There was an extreme sad event in my family, besides my daughter of 5 years, hence i had to postpone my divorce for sometime so that, family doesn't get two shocks at same time. In the mean time, we continued talking with each other and after 5-6 months, her statements started changing about future, and eventually she said there is no future and i cant talk to you since, you always bring romance in our conversation and I'm aversive to sex/love/romance type discussions. Then we again drifted apart for an year; and, this coming close to move away, happened 3 times in last two years. Recently we started again speaking and got in to business assignment together, and i decided not to bring personal discussions in between and maintained for a while, but then she was more caring and inquisitive about my personal things; and, when I slightly changed the tone then she becomes distant. I love her like anything ...have been in this relationship selflessly and never misbehaved except one time, i.e. college time our first fight. She takes her liberty to get angry at me, if the conversation is little disturbing for her. She is very strong in controlling her emotions and blocking herself from calling anyone she is angry with. She always more male friends with whom she will be very close and then starts talking negative about closest one. As per her she has not been in any romantic relationship ever, but when I look back we had our share of emotional moments though not physical ones. Every time patch up is done by me. During discussions it will come out that she was thinking of me but knew that i will come around. So far emothional part was always brought from my side and her side was little in more out types. I had this wish to be with her and take care of her since she is still unmarried and has health issues , ailing parents and one divorced brother. She is an enterprenure and I'm helping her with her business and she happily takes support from as its her right over me. I would like to take your opinion over the situation.
Ans: Thank you for sharing your deeply personal and intricate story. It's clear you’ve been carrying a significant emotional burden for many years. Your feelings of love, loyalty, and care for this woman are evident, but so too is the confusion and pain that this dynamic has caused. Let’s unravel this situation and explore possible paths forward.

Key Dynamics in Your Relationship
Patterns of Push and Pull:
This relationship seems to follow a cycle—closeness, emotional highs, and eventual withdrawal on her part. This push-and-pull dynamic can leave you feeling emotionally drained, constantly seeking validation and clarity from her while she retains control over the connection.

Her Stance on Romance:
She has repeatedly expressed aversion to romance, physical intimacy, or traditional ideas of love. Her actions may sometimes seem contradictory, but they align with her overall stance of maintaining control and boundaries that she’s comfortable with, even if it leaves you confused or hurt.

Your Role in the Dynamic:
You’ve shown immense patience, persistence, and care. However, it appears that you are consistently the one initiating reconnection, expressing emotions, and hoping for a future together. This imbalance may leave you feeling unfulfilled and questioning your self-worth.

Her Emotional Independence:
While she allows you into her professional life and accepts your support, she seems emotionally guarded, preferring to dictate the terms of the relationship. This indicates her desire to maintain independence, possibly due to personal values or past experiences.

Impact on You:
Being caught in this cycle for years has likely affected your emotional health, relationships, and sense of clarity. While you care deeply for her, the relationship seems to take more from you than it gives in return.

Questions to Reflect On
What Do You Truly Want?
Beyond your love for her, consider what you genuinely want and need in a relationship. Is it emotional reciprocity, stability, or clarity? Does this relationship align with those needs?

How Does This Dynamic Affect You?
Reflect on how the constant back-and-forth impacts your mental and emotional well-being. Are you truly happy, or are you clinging to the idea of what this relationship could be, rather than what it is?

What Role Do You Play in This Cycle?
Consider if your persistence is enabling this pattern. While your love and patience are admirable, they may also allow the dynamic to continue without resolution.

Recommendations
Establish Emotional Boundaries:
Protect your emotional energy by defining clear boundaries. For example, limit how much you give—emotionally or professionally—without receiving anything meaningful in return.

Communicate Differently:
The next time you speak with her, try expressing your feelings calmly and clearly, focusing on your needs. For example:

“I care deeply for you, but I feel our dynamic leaves me confused and emotionally drained. I need clarity about our relationship and whether we can truly have a future together.”
Detach with Care:
If her actions consistently indicate she cannot meet your emotional needs, it may be time to step back. Detachment doesn’t mean you stop caring; it means prioritizing your well-being and allowing space for clarity.

Focus on Yourself:
Your marriage, business, and emotional health are significant aspects of your life that need your attention. Consider working on your own happiness and independence outside this relationship. Seek counseling if needed to process the complexities of your feelings.

Recognize Patterns:
Notice the recurring themes in her behavior—shifting her stance, maintaining emotional distance, and expecting you to initiate reconciliation. Understanding these patterns can help you decide how much more you’re willing to invest emotionally.

A Gentle Reminder
Love and care are valuable gifts, but they must be balanced with mutual respect, clarity, and emotional safety. If a relationship consistently leaves you feeling unfulfilled or uncertain, it’s worth considering whether it’s meeting your deeper needs.

You deserve a relationship where your love and efforts are reciprocated. Take time to reflect and prioritize your well-being. If you need more guidance or a sounding board, I am here to support you.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1633 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 28, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 25, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, Im a returning NRI post 20 years having lived abroad. Wasnt sure if I would ever have come on this platform but yes I have . I have been involved with a girl in India for the past 6 years , we both are in our end 40's shes 47 and i will be turning 50 next year. On my bi annual visits we have been meeting, getting physical and share almost everything. There was nothing hidden between us, frank discussions about life, menopause, family issues, support for each other and a lot of love flowing, gifts exhanged both ways , always there for each other and so on. For the past 5 years she was out of a job but now has started working again since the past 7 months or so. Happy for her. I made a decision to take early retirement and head back home , a purely personal choice and spend more time with her. Its just that now when im back and expressed my desire to visit her , i feel shes a bit hesitant, we stay in different cities. I was pretty stunned when I initially planned to see her around the christmas week but she cited follow up prayers for a close family member who had passed away a couple of years back and her unavailabilty. Moreso the dates I had proposed she was unsure of committing time during that period and I let it pass. I was pleasantly surprised and also hurt that during those specific days , shes taking off for a short vacation citing she needs to recharge. Not sure what I should make out of this. Our conversations since my return have been short, messaging not that frequent but overall i feel the thrill that used to be there earlier is missing from her end. I cant understand -:), all was good till a month back. Simply put I dont wanna confront her, its her life after all but just need some advise : is this normal hormonal changes or do u feel its something more and I shud let go. Yeah I know its gonna be difficult for me but some closure I need.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Your partner/lady seems to be one of those who is happy with a virtual relationship and all the perks in it. It gets easy as there is no commitment within that relationship; at least that's how it reads to me from your post.
It's possible that in her mind she must have thought that the long distance thing works better. Now that you are back, it's possible that you might ask her that the two of you move things further as in a COMMITMENT.
So, maybe you must initiate a conversation with her and be very clear as to what you want from her and the relationship. And also listen patiently to what she has to say. She may not want to pursue a commitment and this is something that you must prepare yourself to hear!
Is this all stemming from a hormonal change? Well, it's strange because a month back things were all good; so where were these hormonal changes back then? So, no...Do have that honest conversation and see where it goes...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Adarsh

Adarsh Rai  |12 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Leadership coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 11, 2025Hindi
Career
Hi. I am currently 29. Married with no kids. Wife not earning. Planning for a kid this year. Monthly earning 60k post tax. Have savings of 2 lakhs. Have personal loan of 9 lakhs. Monthly expenses 40k including emi's. I have lost interest in job and I don't want to work anymore. I want to do business which can give monthly 50 to 60k income. Max I can invest 2lakhs. Is there any business which I can start with 2 lakhs and generate monthly income of 60k ? I am frustrated with working under an employer. I want to start my own venture. Please suggest.
Ans: Spandan, pause before you mail the resignation.

Your maths
60 k take-home
40 k spends (15 k of that is EMI on a 9 L loan)
→ 20 k buffer

A newborn will nudge monthly costs up by 8-10 k. Cash cushion shrinks fast.

So the plan must earn while you learn, not leap blind.

Keep the paycheck six more months.
Use evenings to test micro-ideas. Risk stays capped at ?0 for now.

Choose a “cash-this-month” niche, not a moon-shot.
Pick work that turns inventory ≤ ?50 k into sales inside 30 days.

Tiffin + office snacks (two dishes, 40 boxes) - ?25 k utensils, ?10 k FSSAI, ?5 k flyers - ?120 per box × 40 = ?4.8 k /day

Amazon / Flipkart reselling (phone cases, cables) ?40 k stock, ?15 k ads 25 % net margin on ?2 L monthly sales = ?50 k

Weekend print-on-demand & personalised gifting kiosk ?45 k heat-press kit (other options are there too) ?300 profit per mug × 200 pcs → ?60 k Bring Your Mug - Take Away Memories.

Local social-media management for clinics & salons ?0 gear, ?3 k Canva Pro ?8 k-?12 k per client; 6 clients hit target

None need heavy staff or rent. All can run beside your day job.

Set one simple goal: ?15 k profit by Day-30.
Hit it twice, raise target to ?35 k. Only when side income beats salary three months straight do you quit.

This is critical - Plug leaks early. Refinance personal loan to longer tenor; shave EMI to ~?10 k.

Park 1 L of savings in an emergency account—no touch.Skill up tiny, daily.
Watch a YouTube on ad copy, take a WhatsApp course on GST filings. Low cost, immediate payback.

Start small, sell fast, reinvest every rupee. Freedom comes, but by steps, not by one loud jump.

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Adarsh

Adarsh Rai  |12 Answers  |Ask -

HR, Leadership coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Career
Hello Sir ,spandan here can you please tell me which fields will be good path for me, i want to join indian army after getting a bachelors degree but i also want to get a good course in engineering. And to improve my skills i wanted to choose a niche to select like Data science,cyber security,block chain and UX/UI. Can you tell me which is a better option
Ans: Spandhan - the Indian Army of 2030: satellites humming, networks under attack, swarms of sensors feeding dashboards in a forward command post. Officers who understand code, data flows, and signal security steer that fight.

Two decisions shape your path
The bachelor’s branch you choose (for campus learning and placements).

The Army entry gate you target after graduation.

Pick a branch that helps both goals: B.Tech CSE with a Cyber-Security or AI/Data-Science minor

Specialised B.Tech Cyber Security | Blockchain / UX-UI tracks| B.Tech ECE (electronics) with electives in embedded & comms

Go CSE (or ECE) and stack cyber-security / data-science electives. That mix lines up with Army tech entries and the private market.

Know your post-degree entry doors

TGC / SSC-Tech 20-27 Age B.E./B.Tech in listed branches inc. CSE, IT, ECE Signals, EME, Engineers

CDS – IMA/OTA 19-25 Any bachelor’s, tougher written + SSB All arms; tech grads often posted Signals

Agniveer (Technical) 17.5-21 10+2/ITI, but engineering diploma grads gain edgeKeep your CGPA ≥ 7, build fitness early, aim for NCC ‘C’ (bonus marks at SSB).Pick cyber-security as primary, add AI/data electives. You’ll be useful whether you wear olive greens or a hoodie.

Keep the plan simple: CSE + Cyber/AI → TGC/SSC-Tech → Corps of Signals.
Even if you later choose the corporate highway, those same skills pay handsomely.

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