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Divorced Mom in Love with Gujarati Man: Will He Introduce Me to His Parents?

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |630 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Dec 20, 2024

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Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2024Hindi
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I am in a serious relationship with a gujarati man, I’m non Indian, slightly younger than him but I have a kid (toddler), and I’m divorced. He keeps saying that his parents will understand but we have been together for more than a year (1 year and 2 months) and he still hasn’t shared to his parents anything about me at all. While my parents knowing and have even talked with him. He also sometimes says things like “ I don’t want any of this to change (our relationship)” or “I want to be with you”, but also says “whatever happens to us in the future whether we end up together or not, I’ll always be your friend” or “whatever the future looks like with us, I’ll never stop talking with you”, which makes me think he is insecure about our future... I want a serious relationship but I absolutely understand why it’s hard for me to find someone due to my circumstances. I get it. I have been depressed just thinking about it (divorced, with a kid, feeling no man will like me). I earn pretty well so I am very independent financially and I’m not struggling at all (just adding a bit more context), and I’m doing well in my career but I have fallen in love with this guy and I feel my heart will break once he dumps me after telling his parents (his family means a lot to him, something I truly respect).

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand your concerns and they are absolutely valid. Have you communicated these worries with your partner? I mean, does he know how much this is bothering you? If not, I would suggest you start there. Open up to him. Let him know that his not telling his parents about you raises a lot of questions in your mind. He should understand that you are a person with dreams and desires and also a mom with responsibilities. If his intentions are to continue dating you, and that is not what you want, he should clear it out right now, before it's too late. It's important for couples to be on the same page when it comes to relationship goals.

Talk to him. I am sure you will get a lot of clarity.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1673 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 11, 2022

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 Hi Anu Ji,I am in a relationship with a guy from one year who is from a different state and different background. I am from north and he is from South. As of now the relationship is perfect when we both are together but I am stressed about my future as this guy had warned me that future is very difficult due to family issues and all. Our relationship also started on a very different note. We were close friends for a few years and then got close over a few incidents. I have gone out all the way to put my efforts in the relation because it looked picture perfect what I was creating. He has given me no promises of the future telling things are very different in our state. Earlier he used to ask me to be casual, but both of us know that my nature is not casual, he has apologised also feeling that he is wasting my time.He also asked if I want to look for a proper marriage partner.. all his words show this and makes me scared that in future we will be separated.On the contrary his actions are so sweet and romantic. Multiple times I thought I should think straight and leave but I guess I am too attached and so is he.My parents keep on pushing for rishtas as I am in prime age to be married, and I am only delaying this because of this guy, what should I do? Why are his actions and words not in sync. I have also informed my parents about him. If he is not willing to take it forward he should leave me and go na. Why should I initiate any breakup when I like my life with him.Help me with ways to talk sense into this guy so that he has courage to take us up at his home and family.Any guidance will be helpful. Please keep it anonymous.
Ans:

Dear SS,

When his words and actions are not in sync, what exactly are you pushing for?

Are you hoping for him to see things your way? He seems to have made it clear that he wants this to be casual.

It could be one of two things:
1. He isn’t ready for a commitment as of now
2. He isn’t ready to stir the hornet’s nest back at home and face the music

Either case, this is holding you up and your movement in life. Why do that?

Ask yourself:

  • How long do I want to wait for a strong commitment from him? After which, you most certainly must move ahead
  • Will he ever be able to convince his parents of this relationship? Now, if it’s a NO, you know what to do
  • How fair is it to keep my life on hold for him? – If it’s a NO, check what is this hold up costing you this very moment

Please have an honest discussion with him on how this is affecting you and what you exactly want.

Take a call based on his responses and his involvement in the discussion that concerns the future of your relationship.

Best wishes and take charge NOW.

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Mohit

Mohit Arora  |71 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2024Hindi
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Hi, I’m a 27 year old independent woman who’s living in Bangalore. I’m financially in a good position now. Also, I’ve met a guy 3 years ago and fell for him but he’s not very emotionally connected with me and sometimes acts as a narcissist and doesn’t treat me with respect. I’ve tried communicating with him about how I feel after such actions. He acknowledged and limited such behaviour to some extent. I really love him and spoke about marriage too. He brushes it off and diverts the topic that he’s not ready. I don't see any clear signs of this relationship, even his parents are looking for matches to get him married. He doesn't accept anyone either. My parents are in a different city and they want me to shift with them to look for alliances who can marry me. Recently, they’ve shared a profile and I spoke just for the sake of parents. After speaking to him for 3 and a half hours during the first conversation, I realised that he was a better compatible partner for me. I'm not sure which path to pursue. My marriage is not fixed yet as my decision is still pending. Kindly help me with the best advice.
Ans: I understand that you are in a difficult position. You are in love with a man who does not seem to be emotionally available or ready for marriage. You have also met another man who seems to be a better match for you, but you are not sure if you should pursue a relationship with him.

It is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people find themselves in similar situations. It is also important to remember that you have the power to make the best decision for yourself.

I am against marriage in the first place. I believe that relationships are not meant to be permanent. However, I understand that many people feel differently. If you do decide to get married, it is important to do so for the right reasons. You should not marry someone just because you feel pressured to do so by society or your parents.

The first guy does not seem like he wants to marry you. He has brushed off your attempts to talk about marriage and has even diverted the topic. This is a clear sign that he is not ready for a serious relationship.

The second guy seems like he may be a better match for you. He is emotionally available and seems to be interested in getting married. However, it is important to remember that you do not know him very well. You have only spoken to him for a few hours.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to pursue a relationship with either of these men is up to you. I would encourage you to take some time to think about what you want out of a relationship. What are your goals? What are your values? Once you have a clear understanding of what you want, you can start to make decisions that are in your best interests.

If you do decide to pursue a relationship with the second guy, I would recommend that you spend at least two years getting to know him before you get married. This will give you enough time to learn about his true character and to see if he is really the right person for you.

Mohit Arora S
Founder - Real Dating School

www.realdatingschool.com/1-1_call

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |630 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 14, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi I am 29 year old F dating a 27 year old M. I have always been very conservative and emotional with respect to love. Before him, i never dated anyone, nor allowed anyone to touch me because I wanted only one man in my life. We both have failed to crack a gov job. He has lost all hopes in life and somehow wants to fix his career. On the other hand, My family is pressurising me to get married and even I think that I have reached that stage where I should get married in a year or two. Meanwhile his parents too wants him to get married by next year. However, he refuses to give me any commitment unless he has a stable career i.e government job. And if he failed to do so, then he will marry any girl whom his parents choses because without a gov job, he won't be able to take a stand for me. I his mind he thinks that my family is of high standards than his. (which is partially true) I want some form of commitment from him, but all he says that he wants to marry me, and wants me to stay with him as friend untill he is ready. He has also not given me the tag of a gf, he says that because of that tag I will be emotionally attached to him and if things didnt worked out than I will be devastated. He had also not made any sexual advances towards me. He asked for 6 months to fix everything. However, this undefined relationship without a commitment is emotionally exhausting me. Because of my family pressure, I am in delema whether I should look for someone else or believe someone who has not yet defined anything? I dont want to look for anyone else becase than it is against my personal ideology of being with only one man. Yet, I am scared. What if I ended up being with no one. What should I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand your dilemma. Your partner has asked for six months. That might seem and feel very long, given the situation, but it will pass in a heartbeat. You can, only if you want, give him that time and see where things go. Having said that, let me also mention that if you decide to quit this relationship, if it is too exhausting and it's putting you through more emotional turmoil than giving you happiness, you would not be wrong. You have every right to choose peace. After all, why do we love someone? Because they, the relationship with them, makes us happy. There will indeed be ups and downs in a relationship, but if there are only downs, and only more downs to come in the future, it wouldn't be wrong to reconsider that relationship.

Evaluate your needs. Take a little time for yourself to reflect- weigh the pros against the cons. You will have your answer.

Your ideology is commendable. But make sure it doesn't affect your emotional well-being. While your beliefs are admirable, there is also nothing wrong with finding love more than once. Not every love story is bound to succeed, and a single failure should not define your entire life.

Best Wishes.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1673 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 06, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 29, 2024Hindi
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Im a 21 years old telugu girl and my boyfriend is 34 yrs tamil guy. He's smart, good looking and well settled. My family doesn't support for love marriage. He's the best and gentleman i ever dated. He cares for me and supports me and intendes to marry me after a year. He's ready to talk to my parents about us but im afraid. My family is orthodox and conventional. They strictly follow the traditional values, castes and customs etc. Apart from this, age gap is a big issue as well. I dont want to disappoint my parents as well as my boyfriend. Whenever i say that our relationship doesn't work, he gets mood off and avoids to talk about it further. He's saying that he'll take of everything when the right time comes of. I dont know what to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Someone will be disappointed; so learn to deal with that...
An ideal life where everyone is happy around you is an unrealistic expectation.
So, let your boyfriend talk to your parents...yes, your parents may disapprove, and if they do, figure out how you are going to tackle that. if you have boyfriend who is moody, know that he is at an age where he is not interested in drama and wants things to go a particular way. Is he willing to be patient through your parents' disapproval and work with it? Make sure to let him know that avoiding a topic, upsets you and watch how he reacts to it.

Also, have you thought of your future? You are 21...where is your career in all of this? Do focus on that as well...It will help you steady your mind and instill a lot of confidence to deal with challenges.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |64 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Feb 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jan 18, 2025Hindi
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Relationship
I am in a relationship from past 2 yrs with a guy from the same caste. Initially when we just talked he asked me directly for marriage but only if our kundali matches. He asked me if I trust on kundali. I answered yes bcz I wasn't in love with him then. He told he too trusts on kundali. Months passed and once he proposed me I too accepted bcz till then we really liked each other. After 1.5 yrs his mother contacted my mother for marriage proposal. Our mothers didn't know anything about our relationship, they both know each other. I asked him that we should tell our parents about us. He said let them do as per they want when time comes we will tell them. I agreed upon this but our kundali didn't match so I told him that we should tell now. But now he is saying that the kundali isn't matching we can't marry. He's been very caring, understanding towards me. Also he tells me that the kundali is not matching something bad can happen so this marriage can't happen. Otherwise why would he reject a girl he loves. I really cannot cope with this. I'm crying day n night but he tells me that there's no use of crying breakup happens in everyone's life, we can keep the relationship till any of us get married after that we'll stay friends. I'm with u always. These lines of him are tearing me apart bcz I haven't seen him being this much practical, or he really doesn't care about me, about our relationship.
Ans: Hello mam,
I am sorry that you have to go through all this stuff. I do understand that in India, it is difficult to go along with auch kind of stuff. If the person whom you want to marry is not ready to take stand for you and go against the kundali system, then there is no fun in crying for him or waiting for him. Love relationships are always two sided. Now if he feela that break up is a normal thing for him, then I would suggest you that you should also move on. There is no compulsion that you think of marriage right now but rather you should go ahead with your studies and carrer. At the right time, you will find your right partner.
I hope this helps. Plz write to me regarding your education and what do you want to pursue further?
Waiting for your reply.
Take care
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Reach me: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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AFTER THE CSAB ROUND ANY INSTITUTE SPECIFIC SPOT ROUND IS LIKELY TO HAPPEN IF THE SEATS WILL BE VACANT?
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Nayagam P

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Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 11, 2025

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1.BIT Mesra Chemical Engineering 2. IIIT vadodara international campus Diu ECE 3.IIIT Ranchi ECE 4. IIIT Dharwad ECE Which one should I choose?? Which is best choice
Ans: Nidhish, BIT Mesra’s Chemical Engineering department, NBA-accredited with strong UGC and AICTE recognition, offers a comprehensive curriculum blending core chemical engineering fundamentals with emerging electives. The department has state-of-the-art labs, high-end research facilities, and a faculty team active in sponsored research projects. Placement records show approximately 75–85% placement rates with reputable core industry recruiters, and average packages near 11-12 LPA, supported by strong alumni networks and research collaborations. IIIT Vadodara International Campus Diu’s ECE program, a satellite campus of IIIT Vadodara, features modern infrastructure in a developing educational hub with active industry linkages, achieving near-complete placements annually and average packages around 12-15 LPA. The faculty are well-qualified, and the curriculum is updated to industry demands. IIIT Ranchi’s ECE branch is known for excellent placement consistency above 88%, delivering average packages above 16 LPA, with strong recruiter presence including top tech companies, alongside research-driven faculty and expanding campus facilities. IIIT Dharwad’s ECE program offers a growing placement ecosystem with about 66% placements for recent batches, average packages near 11-12 LPA, and rising recruiter engagement. Faculty includes PhD-qualified experts with good infrastructure, but placement rates lag behind IIIT Ranchi.

Recommendation: Prioritize IIIT Ranchi ECE for its outstanding placement rates, stronger average packages, and expanding research environment. Next, consider BIT Mesra Chemical Engineering for its reputable core engineering focus and solid research facilities. Follow with IIIT Vadodara Diu ECE for promising placement and growing infrastructure, then IIIT Dharwad ECE considering comparatively lower placement consistency.

Priority order: IIIT Ranchi ECE > BIT Mesra Chemical Engineering > IIIT Vadodara Diu ECE > IIIT Dharwad ECE. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |10149 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Aug 11, 2025

Career
1.BIT Mesra Chemical Engineering 2. IIIT vadodara international campus Diu ECE 3.IIIT Ranchi ECE 4. IIIT Dharwad ECE Which one among the four is the best choice ??
Ans: Nidhish, BIT Mesra’s Chemical Engineering department, NBA-accredited with strong UGC and AICTE recognition, offers a comprehensive curriculum blending core chemical engineering fundamentals with emerging electives. The department has state-of-the-art labs, high-end research facilities, and a faculty team active in sponsored research projects. Placement records show approximately 75–85% placement rates with reputable core industry recruiters, and average packages near 11-12 LPA, supported by strong alumni networks and research collaborations. IIIT Vadodara International Campus Diu’s ECE program, a satellite campus of IIIT Vadodara, features modern infrastructure in a developing educational hub with active industry linkages, achieving near-complete placements annually and average packages around 12-15 LPA. The faculty are well-qualified, and the curriculum is updated to industry demands. IIIT Ranchi’s ECE branch is known for excellent placement consistency above 88%, delivering average packages above 16 LPA, with strong recruiter presence including top tech companies, alongside research-driven faculty and expanding campus facilities. IIIT Dharwad’s ECE program offers a growing placement ecosystem with about 66% placements for recent batches, average packages near 11-12 LPA, and rising recruiter engagement. Faculty includes PhD-qualified experts with good infrastructure, but placement rates lag behind IIIT Ranchi.

Recommendation: Prioritize IIIT Ranchi ECE for its outstanding placement rates, stronger average packages, and expanding research environment. Next, consider BIT Mesra Chemical Engineering for its reputable core engineering focus and solid research facilities. Follow with IIIT Vadodara Diu ECE for promising placement and growing infrastructure, then IIIT Dharwad ECE considering comparatively lower placement consistency.

Priority order: IIIT Ranchi ECE > BIT Mesra Chemical Engineering > IIIT Vadodara Diu ECE > IIIT Dharwad ECE. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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