Hi, I’m a 29 year old working woman. My husband who is 36, left his job 2 years ago just after my child was born. Since then he did not put much efforts to get another job and I’m only taking care of all the financial responsibilities. Whenever I ask him about job, he learns some courses online and then stops learning after few days giving some excuses. This has happened several times. He spends too much of my income even on small things saying he wants best quality products only. Almost everyday he asks me to buy some products or outside food and gets angry if I reject. Myself or my in-laws are not able to force him to get a job because he has anger issues and becomes verbally abusive very quickly. Even my parents are scared of his anger so not able to talk to him regarding his job. I feel very frustrated everyday since me or my family is not able to do anything about this, how do I deal with him?

I am a female 34 married to a 39 Male. I have a 4 year old daughter. Since the very beginning, i spent my savings for household expenses. I had expected him to spend money after my daughter's birth. Most of his income goes towards payment of EMI of 2 houses. I asked him to stop one emi so that we can live properly. He told me that he would always block money in some or the other investment and reduce his disposable income. So I changed my career path to a more lucrative one. I am currently studying to get employedvin such career. Its taking time as inspite of full time maid, i had to take care of her without his support but unnecessary criticism. I have made my own support system, take care of my daughter financially and even take care of her outings. When he is home he takes care of her but he is not consistent . Rather he will pick fights about how i am not a good mother. He has these anger issues where once he is angry he starts shouting, criticizing and sometimes swearing. I learnt to not listen to his words when angry but my daughter heard it twice. After every such fight he would apologize and placate me. But overtime i lost all love for him. He gets triggered by little things like a simple basket and then blow it up. Recently he came drunk and hit me. I asked him to stop and he slapped me twice and then stood near my bed taking about his feelings for 2 hours. The entire incident terrified me and i went back to my parents. I have asked him time and again to get therapy for his anger. I can't let my daughter grow in such environment. I am currently planning to live near my parents and live as a single mother. I am currently preparing for job interviews and the forthcoming exams. I keep hearing that if i am patient he will change. That he will suffer without his daughter. But he is not even considering therapy. Also he can visit her anytime. We live some 12 hours from his location but he can just come over weekends if he wants to. I am financially comfortable now and thus taking few months to set my career. Please advise if my plans are appropriate. I am

Hi Mam, I am 30 year old working IT. I got married 3 years ago. We do not have kids.We loved each other and got married. He is 12 years elder to me. He has been earning and is responsible. He takes good care of me and he helps me in household work. There are good things about him. But, he has lied a lot in financial matters. He and his family had potrayed that they are settled. In fact, they are in lot of handloans and debts. My husband has taken huge amount of home loan without discussing it with me. Also , his parents are financially dependent on him(This was also discussed earlier but he had not told about this. He had hidden this also saying they are getting another source of income) He has a brother who is arrogant and is not working. Brother is 33 years old. (This was also not disclosed. My husband had just told that his brother is not earning as of now but he will earn in future) My inlaws say that brother will work in near future and he will also contribute to the house. But, i have no hopes in it. We have been quarelling over every single thing because of his brother. Our normal converstaion does not last for more than 5 min. It will turn into a huge fight. Fight has gone to such extent that it has got abusive, no respect for each other and family and violent. This is just not alone from his side. I have my anger issues too. We are aggressive too in nature. My husband is burderned because of this. My husband has two families (ours and his) to take care. I am not able to plan for a kid because i have lost the trust in my husband and feel insecure financially. Also, he is aging. Please suggest what do i do with him. I am not able forgive him for what he is done. He has accepted his mistake. He agrees to whatver i argue because fault is at his end. But, I fear where we will not be afford for a baby. I dont know what he will do if i quit my job and extend my maternity leave. I dont trust my husband. I fear where again he will take loan, i fear where he would lie again. We are struggling here and his brother has no idea that our relationship has strained because of him!! I want to talk it out to my husband's brother in front of my in laws and explain him. Other wise, should i stay with my husband?? Should i leave my husband??? We do have feelings for each other but I dont have peace of mind. Please suggest mam. I need a direction. My health is getting spoilt and i am in stress all the time because we shout and fight each and everyday..