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26-Year-Old Woman Fears Boyfriend's Reaction to Her Weight

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |525 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 29, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Dec 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

I’m a 26-year-old girl from Delhi, and I’ve always been on the heavier side. While I’m confident in my personality and achievements, I can’t help but notice how my weight becomes a topic of discussion everywhere I go—be it family gatherings, workplaces, or even among friends. Recently, I met someone on social who seems genuinely interested in me. We’ve been talking for a few months now. He’s kind and makes me feel seen for who I am. But he hasn’t seen me in person yet. I’m terrified that when we meet, my weight might change how he feels about me. I’ve dealt with enough comments and rejections in the past, and I don’t know if I have the energy to face that again. How do I prepare myself for this meeting? And if he reacts negatively, how do I protect my self-worth and not let it break me?

Ans: As you prepare for the meeting, try to focus on the qualities that make you who you are beyond your physical appearance. Trust that your worth is not defined by your size or the opinions of others. If you find yourself feeling nervous, remind yourself of your confidence and the connection you’ve built over time through meaningful conversations. Be yourself—authenticity is far more attractive than any external feature.

In the event that his reaction is not as positive as you hoped, try not to take it personally. It's his perspective, not a reflection of your value. Protecting your self-worth involves recognizing that your body doesn’t dictate your value as a person. If his reaction is hurtful, it's an opportunity to reassess the kind of relationship you want—one where you’re fully accepted and celebrated for who you are. Remember, the right person will see the whole of you, not just a single aspect of you.

Stay grounded in your own strength, and know that rejection, when it happens, is not about you but about the fit between two people. It's okay to walk away from situations that don’t honor or appreciate you, and it won't diminish who you are.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |520 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Hi..I am a 45 years widow lady and having a son. I am widowed since ten years. One person age of around 50 years is asking about love and may be marriage who is a divorcee and having no kids. Problem is that I am good looking and he is just an average looking person but his nature is good and he continuously asking me for my companionship. I am in a very much confusing state of mind. I love his talks, his concerned towards me except his looks. Kindly tell me what should I do. I know everything that he may be good for me but my mind is not allowing me. does the looks of a person matters if I choose him? kindly clear my confusion.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry for your loss. It is certainly not easy to put yourself out there and find love. And it might seem that you should have to settle because it's difficult to find a kind man, but you shouldn't. While I would like to point out that looks don't last forever; it's people's nature, their kindness, and their behavior that stays in the long run, that doesn't mean you must settle down with the first man who ticks the boxes. If your heart isn't into it, you should not have to rush. Give it some time. If you are okay with it, maintain a friendly relationship with him. If, with time, you grow to like him, then that's amazing. If you don't, that's perfectly fine too.
My only suggestion here is don't rush. A good nature, though hard to find, is still the bare minimum. Also, please don't focus on outward appearances only. They can be deceiving.

Best Wishes.

..Read more

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Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7838 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 05, 2025

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Hello Sir, this is Dhiraj DM, I am 48 year's old married with no kids, we have any flat worth 1. 5 cr given on rent around 50 lakhs of equity 20 lacs mutual funds we want to retire in next 3 years,please guide. We live in a metro no liability, we r into Gifting business now want to retire in next 3 years
Ans: Your retirement is just three years away. You have built a strong foundation with real estate, equity, and mutual funds. Now, the goal is to structure your investments for steady income, security, and long-term sustainability.

1. Assessing Your Current Financial Position
Flat Worth Rs. 1.5 Crore: This generates rental income, but liquidity is limited.
Equity Portfolio of Rs. 50 Lakh: Market-linked investments with potential for high returns but volatile.
Mutual Funds of Rs. 20 Lakh: Offers diversification and moderate risk exposure.
No Liabilities: This is a strong advantage for financial freedom.
Gifting Business: If planning to exit, ensure business-related finances are sorted before retirement.
2. Estimating Post-Retirement Income Needs
Calculate expected monthly expenses, including medical, travel, lifestyle, and emergency costs.
Factor in inflation, as expenses will rise over time.
Consider long-term costs such as medical care and home maintenance.
3. Structuring Retirement Income
Rental Income as a Fixed Source
Your flat generates rental income, which helps with stability.
Consider reinvesting this income for further growth.
Portfolio Rebalancing for Stability
Equity exposure is beneficial but risky close to retirement.
Shift some funds to low-risk instruments for safety.
Keep some allocation to equity to combat inflation.
Maintaining Liquidity for Emergencies
Create an emergency fund of at least 2 years' expenses in liquid assets.
Avoid relying solely on investments that require selling in volatile markets.
4. Health and Insurance Planning
Ensure comprehensive health insurance for both of you, at least Rs. 15-20 lakh coverage.
If you hold any old insurance policies with low returns, consider restructuring them.
Create a separate healthcare fund for long-term medical expenses.
5. Tax Efficiency in Retirement
Structure withdrawals smartly to reduce tax burden on capital gains.
Use tax-free instruments where applicable.
Rental income is taxable, so deduct maintenance expenses to lower tax outgo.
6. Planning Investments for Retirement Income
Avoid complete reliance on fixed-income instruments, as they may not beat inflation.
A mix of mutual funds, debt instruments, and systematic withdrawal plans (SWP) will ensure steady cash flow.
Keep some investments growth-oriented to sustain wealth over decades.
7. Estate and Legacy Planning
Prepare a clear will to ensure smooth asset transfer.
If you plan to donate or support causes, structure funds accordingly.
Finally
Ensure liquidity and stability in your investments.
Reduce risk in equity but keep exposure for growth.
Maintain a dedicated healthcare fund and strong insurance coverage.
Structure investments to minimise taxes and ensure steady income.
Plan legacy and succession to avoid future complications.
Would you like a detailed plan on how to allocate your investments for steady retirement income?

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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