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49-Year-Old Man Asks for Advice on Ending Affair with Married Woman

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1403 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 12, 2024Hindi
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Respected M'aam, I am a 49 year old male, divorced for the last 15 years. I had been in a relationship for a few years with marriage on the cards. However, for some reason, her uncle objected and got her parents who were initially happy and agreeable to withdraw their consent. Hence, this didnt work out and we parted ways amicably. About three years back, I was approached by the wife of a friend whose marriage was going through a rough patch, for some advice and help in getting her husband back on track. However, the husband refused to change ways and their marriage remains to be rocky. This lady and I got chatting often and we became friendly. Only a few short weeks since we first met, she started visiting my house regularly. I live alone and have no living relatives. Initially these visits would be to go over prospective jobs for her husband and later on, this topic was completely ignored and we started chatting on friendly basis. What started as small physical gestures soon developed into a major physical relationship. This physical relationship has been going on for almost three years now. Everytime, she has a fight at home, she visits me and we end up getting physical. This happens almost twice a week. In the meantime, I meet her husband almost daily and have to pretend as if everything is normal, all the time hiding this fact. She doesnt want to divorce him and marry me despite being asked many times even though this itself shall be the cause of me being socially boycotted by all my friends. She wants to continue having physical relations with me and wants our relationship to be simply for this reason. I tried ending it often, but she would turn up at my door and I would have to take her in and we would again end up being physical. I do not know what to do anymore even though I want to end this but she doesnt. Please advise. Thanks

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly get out of this mess before you not just your friends but also lose your peace of mind. You are right in wanting to end things as it has been clear to you for a while now that this 'thing' that you have gotten into is not going anywhere.
The lady is absolutely clear about wanting you for her physical needs, a bit of attention and a lot of emotional caring...where does that leave you with? Nothing!
So, be wise and do what you have been wanting to for a while...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1403 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
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Dear Mam. I like a girl precisely 23 years back through one of my relative. We met quite often.she was from different city. She confessed that she loves me and we were going good. The meetings used to happen only with the knowledge of my relative. One day I called her and requested for a meeting without the knowledge of my relative . There she confessed that she loves somebody else. It was shocking . I supported her and she went back to her boyfriend. I dont know what happened between them afterwards.As the time passed we married to different spouses. In 2016 she mailed me.( requesting for my number and for a meeting). We met and there she confessed that she does not love her husband. I asked about her boyfriend . She said that they are facebook friends. After that we talked quite often. We met also many times. Three years back I realised that she is still in touch with her boyfriend and they both are liking each other post and profile pics and used to talk long on whatsapp calls. When I confronted her she said that she still have feelings for each other.Lately she has started defending him and used to put status on whatsapp only where they both have good times. I can see that. I dont know how their spouses are reacting when they like each other post and pics. Myself and my wife had an arranged marriage . We are poles apart on many things. Somehow we both are managing our lives. She knew my past. What is bothering me Mam that she has only treated me as time pass. I gave her so much of my time. I Respect her. She has always used the word parallel ( for me and her boyfriend). Though she has hided me from her husband , but once I met him because she wanted that.Her boyfriend is in all her groups and social media apps like fb, insta. Kindly suggest me what should I do. Its an old feeling. Though we have moved on.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When you have realized that she is using you as a 'Time Pass', why exactly are you still mulling over the whole issue?
Do you still want to be her 'only available person' when she chooses to connect with you?
Going weak with feelings now from 23 years back doesn't really make sense, does it?

She hasn't quite figured out who she is with or who she wants to be with. (That's what I can gather from what you have shared in your email). So, why are you putting yourself in the equation as one the one men around her?
Take yourself out of it and focus on your life and its happenings. You and your wife maybe poles apart, but that need not be a reason to be someone's 'Time Pass.'

If you say that you have moved on, then truly move on. No point wasting your time on the past and someone from the past who has little respect for you, your feelings or your time.

All the best!

..Read more

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |444 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 08, 2024Hindi
Relationship
I have a friend for over 9 years. She is 38, married with a 13 yr old boy and I am single and 32. Ever since we have known each other we have been friends. I never had romantic feelings or intimate thoughts about her(I guess I am not that much into married women). Over the course of years since 2015, we have had a very close friendship and at a professional capacity I am tutor to her child.(The child has been hanging out with me since he was 4). Me and the lady went for vacations and have spent countless nights on the balcony with a drink and lots to talk about our lives. I am thoroughly aware of her troubled marriage including instances of DV and her complicated upper middle class family dynamics. She knows my childhood, how I lost my parents and has been close watcher of how I have transformed over the years. In 2020 in a moment of my weakness, loneliness, desperation I spoke to her extensively even breaking down and she somehow made the call the treatment me like a son and I have ever since addressed her as 'Maate'. (My mother passed away in childbirth so my knowledge of a mother's presence is next to 0) During the pandemic where we could barely meet during to distance and lockdown. Her husband also moved to UK for work. A new "friend" comes to the picture. I did not meet him at the beginning but after a few months, I notice my friend taking care of the finances, lifestyle choices of the"friend". He enjoys the involvement citing how difficult his life was where his parents could not provide such interactions when he was a kid. (The "friend" is 28 years old). The "friend" also a leukaemia survivor indulges in alcohol with us, tries other substances in her company and one night confesses his feelings to Maate. Maate tells him that she has a kid, a husband and a boyfriend so those spectrums there is no space for the "friend". So the "friend" officially friendzones himself but over the times has arranged him to stay in her place, sleep in her bed, cuddle with her everynight(can't sleep otherwise) has access to her emails, photos, phone password, and subtly starts taking control over her house to get things done his way. He even does not allow the 13 yr old child sleep with his mom because the child gets a pole in his sleep(like of teens and men) it creeps the "friend" out. Finally after a night of drinking I suddenly woke up to sounds of moaning early in the morning from her bathroom. So the "friend" finally had his long overdue sex at 6 am in the morning in her bathroom. I wake to listen to Maate moaning buty paranoia kicks in when I see her kid waking up and standing behind me and asking 'where is Mamma'. I have no words, I have no idea what to do. I take him away on the pretext of making some yummy breakfast. Now the problem for me is: 1. I have lived by a few codes and one of them is not to cross boundaries with female friends. I have stayed friends with them for over 2 decades. So someone doing it infront of me and calling it friendship and apologizing with the words 'heat of the moment','honest mistake', 'drunken daze', etc just makes me call it bullshit. The "friend" wanted it and took the first shot he got. 2. My Maate asking me to let it go, forgive and treat the "friend" like a younger brother. I have tried it a lot over the last year and I sincerely can't(because of reasons mentioned in Point 1) 3. Saying it to openly to Maate has starined my equation with her. I just want to stay away from such a "friend" but evidently voicing it out (albeit in a very loud manner) pushed away my closest confidant. The only thing I know is if things get better I can't pull of this pretentious stuff and it will make me burst again. I don't know what to do here.
Ans: You’ve built your life around certain principles—one being the importance of boundaries and respect in friendships. Seeing those boundaries crossed in a way that you perceive as disrespectful to the sanctity of your connection with Maate, as well as her responsibilities as a mother, strikes at the heart of your values. It’s no wonder that you feel uneasy and unable to simply accept her request to forgive and treat the “friend” as a younger brother.

What’s critical here is that your feelings of discomfort are not about being judgmental but about being protective—of your bond with Maate, her child’s well-being, and your own emotional integrity. This situation has left you in a moral and emotional bind. You value the relationship with Maate, but the dynamic involving the “friend” is deeply troubling for you.

To move forward, you need to find a way to honor your values while also preserving your emotional well-being. Open communication is key, but it’s also clear that the way this has been discussed so far has caused strain. You might need to reframe your approach. Instead of focusing on the specifics of what happened or pointing out the flaws in the “friend’s” behavior, you could focus on how the situation has affected you. Express your feelings honestly but gently—share how it has created a sense of distance and how much you miss the closeness and trust you once shared.

At the same time, it’s important to set boundaries for yourself. You don’t have to accept the “friend” into your life if it feels wrong to you. However, you can make it clear to Maate that this boundary is about your own peace of mind and not a judgment of her choices. Acknowledge her autonomy while asserting your need for space from situations that make you uncomfortable.

Ultimately, this might mean accepting that the relationship with Maate will change. Relationships evolve, and sometimes people we care about make choices that we can’t fully align with. It doesn’t mean you have to sever ties, but it does mean redefining the terms of your connection in a way that allows you to stay true to yourself.

Take time to reflect on what you need to feel whole and grounded. This situation has understandably shaken you, but it’s also an opportunity to reaffirm your values and protect your well-being. Seek support from others you trust, and remember that it’s okay to take a step back to process your feelings and recalibrate the relationship on your terms.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7290 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 21, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, I follow your articles regularly and your detailed assessment is really awesome.I am 47yrs Male with wife, 20&18 years kids, elder one is in B.Tech and younger one is 12th. My wife is a home maker. Coming to financials. I have 4 houses including the one residing worth 10cr(total) and getting rental income of 70k per month, invested in stocks and MFs worth 60L, have foreign stocks of worth 1.7cr, accumulated pf around 1.3cr. I have farm lands worth 5cr. Have 1.2cr loan and salary of ~4L (net). current sips in equity 70k/month, have 5Cr term plan, health insurance for family 50L. How do I plan my retirement at 52-53years assuming 80 years life expectancy. Don't want to depend on kids and need regular income ~3-4L per month.
Ans: Asset Evaluation
Real Estate:
You own four houses worth Rs 10 crore, generating Rs 70,000 monthly rental income. This is a solid base for passive income. However, real estate can have fluctuating maintenance costs, tenant issues, and varying rental yields over time.

Stocks and Mutual Funds:
Your Rs 60 lakh investment in stocks and mutual funds is a commendable step. Active mutual funds offer professional fund management and can outperform index funds over time.

Foreign Stocks:
Your Rs 1.7 crore portfolio in foreign stocks adds geographical diversification. Monitor currency exchange fluctuations and global market trends.

Provident Fund (PF):
With Rs 1.3 crore in PF, this is a reliable retirement corpus. The fund provides fixed returns and tax benefits, adding stability.

Farm Lands:
Farm lands worth Rs 5 crore are an illiquid but valuable asset. They might not generate consistent income unless leased or developed.

Loans:
A loan liability of Rs 1.2 crore needs prioritised repayment. Focus on loans with higher interest rates first.

Insurance Coverage:
A Rs 5 crore term plan is robust. Your Rs 50 lakh health insurance is sufficient for unexpected medical emergencies.

Retirement Goals
You need Rs 3–4 lakh monthly for 27–28 years post-retirement.
The portfolio must generate steady, inflation-adjusted returns.
Action Plan for Retirement
Debt Management
Prepay High-Interest Loans:
Use a portion of your surplus income to prepay loans. This reduces interest outflow and increases your cash flow.

Avoid New Loans:
Focus on reducing existing liabilities instead of taking on new ones.

Portfolio Restructuring
Real Estate:
Retain essential properties. Sell underperforming or non-essential properties to reduce concentration in real estate. Invest proceeds in mutual funds or debt instruments for diversification.

Mutual Funds (MFs):
Increase SIPs in actively managed funds. They outperform direct funds due to guidance from Certified Financial Planners and MFDs. Regular funds offer better tracking and professional assistance.

Stocks:
Monitor direct equity investments closely. Consider reallocating underperforming stocks to mutual funds for better management.

Debt Instruments:
Invest in high-quality debt funds or fixed-income securities for stability. These instruments balance equity volatility and ensure steady returns.

SIP Strategy
Increase SIPs from Rs 70,000 to Rs 1 lakh/month.
Allocate 70% to equity funds for long-term growth.
Invest 30% in debt funds for stability and liquidity.
Emergency Fund
Maintain a 12-month expense reserve in liquid funds or fixed deposits.
This covers unexpected expenses without disturbing investments.
Income During Retirement
Systematic Withdrawal Plan (SWP)
Use SWPs in mutual funds to generate regular income.
Withdraw 6–8% annually from your mutual fund portfolio for a steady income stream.
Rental Income Optimisation
Review property rents regularly.
Invest part of rental income in equity or debt mutual funds for compounding.
Dividend Stocks
Retain high-dividend-yield stocks for regular income.
Reinvest surplus dividends for long-term growth.
Tax Efficiency
Equity Funds Taxation:
Long-term gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%. Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.

Debt Funds Taxation:
Both short- and long-term gains are taxed per your income slab.

Real Estate Capital Gains:
Use exemptions under Sections 54 or 54F to save tax on property sales.

Inflation Protection
Allocate 60–70% of your portfolio to equity investments.

Equity provides inflation-adjusted returns over time.

Debt funds and fixed instruments safeguard against equity market volatility.

Estate Planning
Draft a will to allocate assets transparently among family members.
Use nomination and joint ownership to avoid legal complications.
Consider a family trust for farm lands to avoid disputes.
Periodic Review
Review your financial plan every six months.
Adjust investments based on market conditions, goals, and needs.
Consult a Certified Financial Planner regularly for updates.
Finally
A well-diversified portfolio ensures financial independence post-retirement. Focus on debt repayment, portfolio balance, and tax-efficient withdrawals. Your assets can comfortably generate Rs 3–4 lakh monthly income, adjusted for inflation.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |444 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

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I am the eldest sibling in our families and aged 51. Normally, whenever anyone in the family has a problem - financial, mental, psychological, issue with people or anything else, they come up to discuss with me and share. Well, many would say I am lucky as people look up to me when they are in any kind of a problem. But that is not the case. Sadly no one is around with whom I can discuss or even think to share my issues, my problems. I do not have any friends. Sadly, yes, that is a fact and at my age, I dont expect that here we have a culture where we can get to making friends, at least the kind of friends with whom you can confide, share your feelings, problems. I tried and failed. Maybe because I am introvert or maybe I am too cautious. To make it more complicated, I dont work in the regular kind of job. I am a lone person who works as a freelance from home. This limits my outreach when it comes to interacting with real people. I have clients, business contacts, but I cannot get personal with them. It will never be a good choice. My wife is busy with her job + we do not have any relation beyond the daily matters related to household and it has been more than 10 years now that we live this way. Tried to sort out things with her but she just does not have time and interest (after all who wants to add on to tensions, stress). My daughter is after all my daughter - I cannot share these with her, and definitely at 10 she is too young to be one to discuss such stuff. I am not sure how far this issue can be fixed but I am hopeful to find some path here.
Ans: Dear Kevin,
Starting small can be helpful. Consider connecting with people through shared interests or hobbies, either online or in person, where the pressure to immediately open up is minimal. Online communities, local meetups, or volunteer activities can create low-stakes opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals. The goal isn’t to instantly find someone to confide in but to slowly build a sense of belonging and companionship.

Your relationship with your wife appears to be another significant source of emotional distance. While her lack of interest in deep conversations may seem like a barrier, it’s worth exploring other ways to reconnect—perhaps by spending time together in shared activities or revisiting moments that once brought you closer. Sometimes, relationships stuck in routines benefit from new experiences or even professional counseling to navigate the underlying dynamics.

Regarding your daughter, while it’s clear she cannot shoulder your emotional burdens, she can still be a source of joy and connection. Investing time in activities with her can provide a sense of fulfillment and grounding that counters loneliness.

Above all, remember that reaching out for professional support, such as therapy, is not a sign of weakness but an act of self-care. A therapist can provide a safe space to express your feelings and help you develop strategies to foster deeper connections and manage emotional isolation.

You deserve to feel supported and connected, and even if the journey to finding that seems long, every step you take toward opening up or seeking out others is a move toward a more fulfilling and less lonely existence.

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7290 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

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Top4 sips with 15k amount suggest me
Ans: Here’s an updated strategy for your Rs. 15,000 SIP allocation, replacing the sectoral/thematic fund with a small-cap fund for better long-term growth potential.

Suggested SIP Allocation (Rs. 15,000)
Large-Cap Fund

Allocation: Rs. 4,000/month
Objective: Stability and steady growth by investing in India’s top 100 companies.
Why Choose: Provides consistent returns and low volatility in your portfolio.
Flexi-Cap Fund

Allocation: Rs. 4,000/month
Objective: Diversified exposure across large, mid, and small-cap stocks.
Why Choose: Offers balanced risk and returns with flexibility during market cycles.
Mid-Cap Fund

Allocation: Rs. 3,500/month
Objective: Tap into the growth potential of medium-sized companies.
Why Choose: Higher returns with manageable risk compared to small caps.
Small-Cap Fund

Allocation: Rs. 3,500/month
Objective: Focus on fast-growing small-cap companies.
Why Choose: High-growth potential over the long term, though with higher volatility.
Why Include Small-Cap Funds?
Long-Term Growth: Small-cap companies have immense potential to grow significantly over time.
Diversification: Adds exposure to an underrepresented segment, complementing large and mid-caps.
High Returns: Potential for higher returns compared to other categories, albeit with higher risk.
Key Considerations
Investment Horizon: Stay invested for at least 7-10 years to mitigate short-term volatility.
Active Fund Management: Avoid direct or index funds to leverage professional expertise.
Regular Monitoring: Review fund performance periodically with a Certified Financial Planner.
Tax Implications
Equity Funds:
LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh/year taxed at 12.5%.
STCG (held less than 1 year) taxed at 20%.
Final Insights
This updated allocation ensures a mix of stability, moderate risk, and high growth. With consistent SIPs and periodic reviews, you can achieve robust wealth creation over the long term. A Certified Financial Planner can assist in optimising your investment strategy.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7290 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2024Hindi
Money
Hi Sir I come from a middle class family and my parents have dedicated everything they have into my education and upbringing. Now they plan to retire and i am finally at 30 in a stanle career where i make approximately 1,20,000 per month. I have a savings of approximately 2,00,000 that i want to invest into my parents retirement. We are NRI's and my parents will be returning back to India soon. I have 0 kmowledge about investments. As per what my friends advised, I have come to the following solutions: 1. Open an FD for both my parents seperately of 50000 Rs each for 5 years with their respective banks 2. Choose the Bajaj Allianz Smart Wealth Goal V SIP and invest approximately 24000 annually for 5 years, withdrawing it at 7 years. 3. Choose the TATA AIA Smart SIP wealth secure and invest 60000 Rs annually for 10 years, withdrawing it at the end of the same duration. Along with the above, I also plan to invest 40000 Rs annually into their Medical health insurance. Now as an NRI, and not having any knowledge about investing or TAX, could you help me with the above investments and how i would have to go about with TAX policies in India. Thank you
Ans: Your dedication to supporting your parents’ retirement is truly admirable. As an NRI with limited investment knowledge, making informed decisions will ensure financial stability for your parents. Let's assess and optimise your proposed plan while incorporating better strategies.

Evaluating the Current Plan
Fixed Deposit for Both Parents
Strengths: Fixed deposits (FDs) are safe and offer guaranteed returns.
Limitations: FD returns in India often fail to outpace inflation. Senior citizens get slightly higher interest rates.

Bajaj Allianz Smart Wealth Goal SIP
Overview: Likely a ULIP (insurance cum investment product). Combines life insurance with investments.
Limitations: ULIPs have high charges (administration and premium allocation fees). Returns are often lower compared to mutual funds.
Taxation: ULIPs are tax-efficient but lack transparency and flexibility.
TATA AIA Smart SIP Wealth Secure
Overview: Another ULIP-based product with insurance and investment components.
Limitations: Similar to the Bajaj Allianz plan, it has high costs and lower returns.
Taxation: Tax benefits under Section 80C but limited withdrawal flexibility.
Medical Health Insurance for Parents
Strengths: Investing in health insurance for your parents is a wise decision.
Suggestions: Opt for a plan with sufficient coverage, including critical illness and cashless claims.
Suggested Optimised Financial Plan
Step 1: Replace ULIPs with Equity Mutual Funds
Reason: Equity mutual funds provide higher returns compared to ULIPs.
Benefits: Actively managed funds offer better growth, diversification, and lower charges.
SIP Strategy: Start a SIP for Rs. 5,000 monthly (Rs. 60,000 annually) for 10 years.
Taxation: Equity LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%; STCG taxed at 20%.
Step 2: Invest in Debt Mutual Funds
Reason: Debt funds offer better returns than FDs and are tax-efficient.
Allocation: Invest Rs. 1 lakh in short-duration or dynamic bond funds.
Taxation: LTCG and STCG on debt funds are taxed as per the income tax slab.
Step 3: Build an Emergency Fund
Importance: Allocate Rs. 50,000 to a liquid fund or short-term FD.
Purpose: This fund will cover unexpected medical or living expenses.
Step 4: Continue Health Insurance for Parents
Annual Premium: Rs. 40,000 annually is reasonable for comprehensive coverage.
Suggestions: Include riders like critical illness and hospital cash benefits.
Step 5: Diversify Using Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGBs)
Reason: SGBs are low-risk, inflation-proof, and provide 2.5% annual interest.
Allocation: Invest Rs. 50,000 into SGBs.
Taxation: Interest is taxable, but capital gains on redemption are tax-free.
SGBs are not available for NRIs.

Tax Implications for NRIs
Better Returns: Shift to equity and debt mutual funds for inflation-beating growth.
Tax Efficiency: Use tax-saving instruments and avoid high-tax liabilities on ULIPs.
Flexibility: Mutual funds and SGBs provide better liquidity and transparency.
Secure Future: Health insurance ensures medical expenses are not a financial burden.
Final Insights
Your proposed plan can be significantly improved with better investment choices. Focus on mutual funds, health insurance, and SGBs for long-term financial stability. Avoid ULIPs as they come with high costs and limited returns. With these steps, you can ensure a secure and comfortable retirement for your parents.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment
Asked on - Dec 21, 2024 | Answered on Dec 21, 2024
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Dear Sir I appreciate your time. Could you please recommend some Equity Mutual Funds and Debt Mutual Funds i can invest in? Since I am new to this, i dont know how to go about with it. Secondly, do i need to open a Dmat account to invest, or is my regular NRO account okay? Or maybe NRE account? For the TAX but, how do j go about with registering myself? And do i need a financial advisor to help me with it? Thank you
Ans: Thank you for reaching out. Here’s how you can begin:

Mutual Fund Recommendations
Equity Funds: Large-Cap, Flexi-Cap, Mid-Cap/Small-Cap for growth and diversification.
Debt Funds: Short-Term Debt Fund, Corporate Bond Fund for stability.
Account & Tax
Use your NRE or NRO account; no Demat account needed.
Register for tax compliance and declare NRI status when investing.
Guidance
A CFP and MFD can help select funds, manage compliance, and simplify investments. Contact MFD or CFP like us for tailored advice.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7290 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2024Hindi
Money
I am a 40 year old male married with no kids working in an IT company, my current portfolio consist of 1 apartment in Bangalore (home loan is completed), 1 site in my hometown worth 1 Cr, 8 lakh in SGB, 6 lakh in stocks, 6 lakh in ppf, 26 lakh in PF, 3.5 lakh in NPS In order to retire comfortably at the age of 50 i want to invest in such a way that my monthly income/pension should be 2.5 lakh Please provide some financial advice to me to achieve my goal.
Ans: You have a solid starting point with your existing portfolio. However, achieving your goal of Rs. 2.5 lakh monthly income at retirement will require meticulous planning and disciplined investing. Here's a detailed roadmap tailored to your needs.

Assessing Your Current Portfolio
Real Estate Assets

One apartment (home loan cleared) provides potential rental income.
A site in your hometown worth Rs. 1 crore is currently a non-productive asset.
Financial Assets

Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGB): Rs. 8 lakh, offering stable interest and appreciation.
Stocks: Rs. 6 lakh in equities for long-term growth.
PPF: Rs. 6 lakh, offering safe and tax-free returns.
Provident Fund (PF): Rs. 26 lakh, providing stability and regular growth.
NPS: Rs. 3.5 lakh, adding to your retirement corpus.
Your total financial assets stand at Rs. 49.5 lakh.

Retirement Goal Analysis
Desired Income: Rs. 2.5 lakh per month or Rs. 30 lakh per year.
Investment Horizon: 10 years until age 50.
Inflation Impact: Adjust the target corpus for inflation to sustain your lifestyle.
Risk Profile: Balance between growth-focused and stable investments.
Recommended Investment Strategy
Step 1: Determine Your Retirement Corpus
For a Rs. 2.5 lakh monthly income, your corpus should sustain withdrawals for 30+ years.
Factor in inflation-adjusted growth to ensure purchasing power.
Step 2: Allocate Current Portfolio Effectively
Utilise Non-Performing Real Estate Assets

Sell the site worth Rs. 1 crore in your hometown.
Invest proceeds into a diversified portfolio for growth.
Avoid retaining illiquid assets without income generation.
Maximise Equity Investments

Increase equity exposure for long-term growth.
Invest in actively managed funds for better performance over index funds.
Regular funds through an MFD with CFP credentials offer professional oversight.
Leverage PPF and PF Contributions

Continue contributions to PPF for safe, tax-free returns.
Retain PF contributions to build a stable retirement corpus.
Optimise NPS Investments

Shift to a higher equity allocation within NPS for better growth.
NPS provides tax-efficient returns and retirement income options.
Step 3: Start a Systematic Investment Plan (SIP)
Monthly SIP Amount: Invest aggressively over the next 10 years.
Fund Selection: Choose equity mutual funds with a proven track record.
Taxation: Equity LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%; STCG taxed at 20%.
Step 4: Create a Diversified Portfolio
Equity Mutual Funds

Allocate 60%-70% to actively managed equity funds.
Focus on large-cap, flexi-cap, and mid-cap funds for diversification.
Debt Instruments

Allocate 20%-30% to debt funds for stability.
Include corporate bonds and dynamic bond funds for better yields.
Gold Investments

Retain existing SGBs for stability and hedge against inflation.
Emergency Fund

Maintain 6-12 months of expenses in liquid funds or fixed deposits.
Step 5: Increase Income Generation from Existing Assets
Rental Income
Rent out your apartment in Bangalore for additional cash flow.
Use rental income to supplement SIP investments.
Key Considerations
Taxation and Efficiency
Keep your tax liability in mind while planning withdrawals.
Diversify investments to optimise post-tax returns.
Periodic Review of Investments
Monitor portfolio performance regularly.
Rebalance asset allocation based on market conditions.
Seek guidance from a Certified Financial Planner for fine-tuning.
Final Insights
Your goal of Rs. 2.5 lakh monthly income is ambitious but achievable. Selling non-performing assets and investing aggressively will create a strong retirement corpus. Maintain discipline in SIP contributions and periodically review your investments. With this approach, you can enjoy financial freedom at 50.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Money
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7290 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2024Hindi
Money
I have a debt of 1 crore 15 lakhs with rate of interest 8.6 % and I can pay 10 lakh yearly in addition to my EMI's. Is it better to invest those 10 lakhs in SIP or Pre-pay my loan and clear debt or wait till the SIP matures and use that lump sum to pay the loan?
Ans: You are in a financially challenging yet manageable situation. The right decision will depend on a careful assessment of your goals and circumstances. Here's a detailed evaluation of the two options: prepaying your loan versus investing in SIPs.

Key Factors to Consider
Interest Cost on Loan

Your loan interest rate of 8.6% is substantial.
The interest cost accumulates if the loan tenure is long.
Prepaying can save interest and reduce loan tenure.
Potential SIP Returns

SIPs in actively managed equity mutual funds can yield 10%-12% annually over the long term.
The returns are market-linked and not guaranteed.
Market volatility impacts short-term results.
Liquidity Needs

Prepaying reduces debt but locks funds.
SIPs provide liquidity for emergencies or goals.
Tax Implications

No tax benefit for loan prepayment beyond the Rs. 2 lakh interest deduction in housing loans (if applicable).
SIP investments in equity mutual funds have specific capital gains tax rules.
Benefits of Loan Prepayment
Lower Interest Burden

Immediate reduction in the interest portion of EMI.
Reduces overall debt faster.
Psychological Relief

Eliminates financial stress of a high loan.
Provides peace of mind with reduced liabilities.
Guaranteed Savings

Savings on interest is assured and risk-free.
Benefits of SIP Investment
Potential Wealth Creation

Long-term equity SIPs can outpace loan interest rates.
Compounding benefits enhance returns over time.
Flexibility

SIPs offer systematic withdrawal plans for liquidity.
Funds remain accessible during emergencies.
Diversification

Investments grow alongside other assets, increasing net worth.
Assessing the 360° Perspective
Debt and Emotional Comfort

A Rs. 1.15 crore debt can cause financial and emotional strain.
If reducing stress is your priority, prepayment is preferable.
Investment Risk Appetite

SIPs suit those willing to accept market volatility for higher returns.
If you dislike risk, prioritize prepayment.
Long-Term Financial Goals

Use SIPs for retirement, children’s education, or other life goals.
Prepaying helps if clearing debt is your primary focus.
Income Stability

Regular income supports SIPs without disrupting EMI payments.
Uncertainty in earnings favors prepayment.
Tax Considerations in Detail
Loan Prepayment

Offers no additional tax benefits after claiming the Rs. 2 lakh housing loan interest deduction.
SIP Investment

Gains above Rs. 1.25 lakh in equity funds are taxed at 12.5% (LTCG).
Short-term gains are taxed at 20%.
Debt funds are taxed as per your income slab.
Hybrid Approach: The Best of Both Worlds
Split the Rs. 10 lakh yearly allocation into two parts.

Use Rs. 5 lakh to prepay the loan.
Invest the remaining Rs. 5 lakh in SIPs.
This strategy balances debt reduction and wealth creation.

Reduces debt steadily.
Allows market participation for higher returns.
When to Prioritise Loan Prepayment?
If you prefer guaranteed savings over potential market returns.
When nearing retirement and aiming for a debt-free life.
If financial stress is affecting your well-being.
When to Prioritise SIP Investments?
If you are comfortable with market fluctuations.
When your income can comfortably handle EMIs.
If long-term wealth creation is a key goal.
Key Recommendations for SIP Investments
Actively Managed Equity Funds

Seek funds with a consistent track record.
Regular plans via an experienced CFP provide expert guidance.
Avoid Index Funds

Actively managed funds outperform index funds in volatile markets.
Index funds lack flexibility and personalization.
Use Regular Funds Through an MFD

Avoid direct plans as they lack personalized advice.
MFDs with CFP credentials help in fund selection and monitoring.
Benefits of Splitting Investments
Balances debt reduction and growth.
Provides flexibility if circumstances change.
Reduces risk from overexposure to one strategy.
Final Insights
The decision depends on your priorities and risk tolerance. If reducing debt quickly offers peace of mind, prepay the loan. If long-term wealth creation aligns with your goals, consider SIPs. A hybrid approach balances these objectives effectively.

You are taking proactive steps toward financial freedom. Your disciplined approach ensures a secure financial future.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Money
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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.
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