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49-Year-Old Man Asks for Advice on Ending Affair with Married Woman

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 22, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Sep 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Respected M'aam, I am a 49 year old male, divorced for the last 15 years. I had been in a relationship for a few years with marriage on the cards. However, for some reason, her uncle objected and got her parents who were initially happy and agreeable to withdraw their consent. Hence, this didnt work out and we parted ways amicably. About three years back, I was approached by the wife of a friend whose marriage was going through a rough patch, for some advice and help in getting her husband back on track. However, the husband refused to change ways and their marriage remains to be rocky. This lady and I got chatting often and we became friendly. Only a few short weeks since we first met, she started visiting my house regularly. I live alone and have no living relatives. Initially these visits would be to go over prospective jobs for her husband and later on, this topic was completely ignored and we started chatting on friendly basis. What started as small physical gestures soon developed into a major physical relationship. This physical relationship has been going on for almost three years now. Everytime, she has a fight at home, she visits me and we end up getting physical. This happens almost twice a week. In the meantime, I meet her husband almost daily and have to pretend as if everything is normal, all the time hiding this fact. She doesnt want to divorce him and marry me despite being asked many times even though this itself shall be the cause of me being socially boycotted by all my friends. She wants to continue having physical relations with me and wants our relationship to be simply for this reason. I tried ending it often, but she would turn up at my door and I would have to take her in and we would again end up being physical. I do not know what to do anymore even though I want to end this but she doesnt. Please advise. Thanks

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Kindly get out of this mess before you not just your friends but also lose your peace of mind. You are right in wanting to end things as it has been clear to you for a while now that this 'thing' that you have gotten into is not going anywhere.
The lady is absolutely clear about wanting you for her physical needs, a bit of attention and a lot of emotional caring...where does that leave you with? Nothing!
So, be wise and do what you have been wanting to for a while...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1600 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 09, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Mam. I like a girl precisely 23 years back through one of my relative. We met quite often.she was from different city. She confessed that she loves me and we were going good. The meetings used to happen only with the knowledge of my relative. One day I called her and requested for a meeting without the knowledge of my relative . There she confessed that she loves somebody else. It was shocking . I supported her and she went back to her boyfriend. I dont know what happened between them afterwards.As the time passed we married to different spouses. In 2016 she mailed me.( requesting for my number and for a meeting). We met and there she confessed that she does not love her husband. I asked about her boyfriend . She said that they are facebook friends. After that we talked quite often. We met also many times. Three years back I realised that she is still in touch with her boyfriend and they both are liking each other post and profile pics and used to talk long on whatsapp calls. When I confronted her she said that she still have feelings for each other.Lately she has started defending him and used to put status on whatsapp only where they both have good times. I can see that. I dont know how their spouses are reacting when they like each other post and pics. Myself and my wife had an arranged marriage . We are poles apart on many things. Somehow we both are managing our lives. She knew my past. What is bothering me Mam that she has only treated me as time pass. I gave her so much of my time. I Respect her. She has always used the word parallel ( for me and her boyfriend). Though she has hided me from her husband , but once I met him because she wanted that.Her boyfriend is in all her groups and social media apps like fb, insta. Kindly suggest me what should I do. Its an old feeling. Though we have moved on.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When you have realized that she is using you as a 'Time Pass', why exactly are you still mulling over the whole issue?
Do you still want to be her 'only available person' when she chooses to connect with you?
Going weak with feelings now from 23 years back doesn't really make sense, does it?

She hasn't quite figured out who she is with or who she wants to be with. (That's what I can gather from what you have shared in your email). So, why are you putting yourself in the equation as one the one men around her?
Take yourself out of it and focus on your life and its happenings. You and your wife maybe poles apart, but that need not be a reason to be someone's 'Time Pass.'

If you say that you have moved on, then truly move on. No point wasting your time on the past and someone from the past who has little respect for you, your feelings or your time.

All the best!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |586 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 16, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 08, 2024Hindi
Relationship
I have a friend for over 9 years. She is 38, married with a 13 yr old boy and I am single and 32. Ever since we have known each other we have been friends. I never had romantic feelings or intimate thoughts about her(I guess I am not that much into married women). Over the course of years since 2015, we have had a very close friendship and at a professional capacity I am tutor to her child.(The child has been hanging out with me since he was 4). Me and the lady went for vacations and have spent countless nights on the balcony with a drink and lots to talk about our lives. I am thoroughly aware of her troubled marriage including instances of DV and her complicated upper middle class family dynamics. She knows my childhood, how I lost my parents and has been close watcher of how I have transformed over the years. In 2020 in a moment of my weakness, loneliness, desperation I spoke to her extensively even breaking down and she somehow made the call the treatment me like a son and I have ever since addressed her as 'Maate'. (My mother passed away in childbirth so my knowledge of a mother's presence is next to 0) During the pandemic where we could barely meet during to distance and lockdown. Her husband also moved to UK for work. A new "friend" comes to the picture. I did not meet him at the beginning but after a few months, I notice my friend taking care of the finances, lifestyle choices of the"friend". He enjoys the involvement citing how difficult his life was where his parents could not provide such interactions when he was a kid. (The "friend" is 28 years old). The "friend" also a leukaemia survivor indulges in alcohol with us, tries other substances in her company and one night confesses his feelings to Maate. Maate tells him that she has a kid, a husband and a boyfriend so those spectrums there is no space for the "friend". So the "friend" officially friendzones himself but over the times has arranged him to stay in her place, sleep in her bed, cuddle with her everynight(can't sleep otherwise) has access to her emails, photos, phone password, and subtly starts taking control over her house to get things done his way. He even does not allow the 13 yr old child sleep with his mom because the child gets a pole in his sleep(like of teens and men) it creeps the "friend" out. Finally after a night of drinking I suddenly woke up to sounds of moaning early in the morning from her bathroom. So the "friend" finally had his long overdue sex at 6 am in the morning in her bathroom. I wake to listen to Maate moaning buty paranoia kicks in when I see her kid waking up and standing behind me and asking 'where is Mamma'. I have no words, I have no idea what to do. I take him away on the pretext of making some yummy breakfast. Now the problem for me is: 1. I have lived by a few codes and one of them is not to cross boundaries with female friends. I have stayed friends with them for over 2 decades. So someone doing it infront of me and calling it friendship and apologizing with the words 'heat of the moment','honest mistake', 'drunken daze', etc just makes me call it bullshit. The "friend" wanted it and took the first shot he got. 2. My Maate asking me to let it go, forgive and treat the "friend" like a younger brother. I have tried it a lot over the last year and I sincerely can't(because of reasons mentioned in Point 1) 3. Saying it to openly to Maate has starined my equation with her. I just want to stay away from such a "friend" but evidently voicing it out (albeit in a very loud manner) pushed away my closest confidant. The only thing I know is if things get better I can't pull of this pretentious stuff and it will make me burst again. I don't know what to do here.
Ans: You’ve built your life around certain principles—one being the importance of boundaries and respect in friendships. Seeing those boundaries crossed in a way that you perceive as disrespectful to the sanctity of your connection with Maate, as well as her responsibilities as a mother, strikes at the heart of your values. It’s no wonder that you feel uneasy and unable to simply accept her request to forgive and treat the “friend” as a younger brother.

What’s critical here is that your feelings of discomfort are not about being judgmental but about being protective—of your bond with Maate, her child’s well-being, and your own emotional integrity. This situation has left you in a moral and emotional bind. You value the relationship with Maate, but the dynamic involving the “friend” is deeply troubling for you.

To move forward, you need to find a way to honor your values while also preserving your emotional well-being. Open communication is key, but it’s also clear that the way this has been discussed so far has caused strain. You might need to reframe your approach. Instead of focusing on the specifics of what happened or pointing out the flaws in the “friend’s” behavior, you could focus on how the situation has affected you. Express your feelings honestly but gently—share how it has created a sense of distance and how much you miss the closeness and trust you once shared.

At the same time, it’s important to set boundaries for yourself. You don’t have to accept the “friend” into your life if it feels wrong to you. However, you can make it clear to Maate that this boundary is about your own peace of mind and not a judgment of her choices. Acknowledge her autonomy while asserting your need for space from situations that make you uncomfortable.

Ultimately, this might mean accepting that the relationship with Maate will change. Relationships evolve, and sometimes people we care about make choices that we can’t fully align with. It doesn’t mean you have to sever ties, but it does mean redefining the terms of your connection in a way that allows you to stay true to yourself.

Take time to reflect on what you need to feel whole and grounded. This situation has understandably shaken you, but it’s also an opportunity to reaffirm your values and protect your well-being. Seek support from others you trust, and remember that it’s okay to take a step back to process your feelings and recalibrate the relationship on your terms.

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2025

Money
Hello I am 51 years old with 14 years old Son and my spouse is not working. I am working with a Pvt Publishing company with salary 90000/ month but job is not stable. In my 28 years working , I couldn't saved much with other liabilities and circumstances . Now my son is in class 8 and I am still in rented house . I am afraid of coming future since I am not able to save anything. My overall monthly income exceeded to 80000 including my son's education, School fees , House Rent and other house hold expenses. Kindly suggest me how to save more and secure my future
Ans: You have shown great responsibility in raising your family on a single income.

At 51 years, your focus now should be financial security and your son's future.

Your son's education and your retirement both need careful planning from here.

Let us understand how to plan your future with limited income but strong commitment.

Your Current Financial Snapshot
You are 51 years old, with a 14-year-old son.

Your spouse is not working, so you are the only earner.

Your job is in the private sector and not stable.

Monthly income is around Rs. 90,000.

Monthly expenses are touching Rs. 80,000.

You are staying in a rented house.

You are unable to save due to high expenses.

Let us address each concern in a simple, practical way.

Step 1: Create a Small Monthly Surplus
Without surplus, saving is not possible.

First identify all your fixed expenses.

Note down your rent, fees, bills, groceries, transport etc.

Then write all variable or non-essential expenses.

These include outings, subscriptions, online shopping etc.

Keep these expenses under control.

Aim to reduce total monthly spending by Rs. 5,000.

If needed, shift to a slightly cheaper rented house.

This is not about sacrifice, it is about safety.

Step 2: Start a Basic Emergency Fund
Your job is not secure.

Emergency fund is your safety cover.

Save 3 to 6 months of household expenses.

This money must be separate and easy to access.

Keep it in a separate savings account or liquid fund.

Don’t touch this for regular spending.

Build this fund slowly over 6 to 12 months.

Even Rs. 3,000 a month is fine to start.

Step 3: Secure Your Family First
Life insurance is very important at this stage.

You must have a pure term plan.

It should cover at least 10 times your annual income.

If you already have expensive LIC or ULIP policies, stop them.

Surrender those plans and reinvest in mutual funds.

Your family must get protection if anything happens to you.

Do not depend on employer insurance alone.

Also take basic health insurance for you and family.

Step 4: Start Small but Regular Investments
Don’t wait for big savings to start investing.

Start SIP with even Rs. 2,000 per month.

Use actively managed mutual funds through a CFP.

Avoid direct funds, they give no guidance.

Regular plans through Certified Financial Planner give support and review.

Don't invest in index funds.

Index funds just follow the market, even when it crashes.

Actively managed funds adjust better in ups and downs.

Step 5: Focus on Retirement Planning
Retirement may come earlier due to job risk.

You must create your own pension system.

Start SIPs in long-term growth mutual funds.

Don’t wait till son's college is over.

You cannot borrow for retirement.

But you can borrow or get scholarships for education.

Secure your retirement with discipline.

Any salary increase should go into SIPs.

Step 6: Prepare for Son’s Education Wisely
Your son is in Class 8 now.

You have 4 years to plan his higher education.

Create a goal for his college needs.

Don't aim for high-expense private colleges if unaffordable.

Explore central universities, state quota, scholarships etc.

Education loan is a better option than using retirement money.

Guide your son on skill-based courses and cost-effective education.

Talk openly with him about money limitations.

Step 7: Review Your House Decision
At this stage, buying a house is not urgent.

Don’t take a big loan for a home now.

Focus should be on savings, not EMI.

Rent is temporary. Savings are permanent.

You may buy a house later when situation is better.

Don’t consider house as investment.

It locks money, gives low return and creates liability.

Step 8: Create an Annual Financial Calendar
Every month, set one small financial task.

Example: January – review expenses.

February – update term insurance.

March – increase SIP amount.

April – track son’s education cost.

May – recheck emergency fund.

Follow this rhythm each year.

This brings control and confidence.

Step 9: Upskill or Create Secondary Income
Try to learn new skills related to your publishing work.

See if you can do freelance editing or writing.

Try to earn small extra income from hobby or skill.

Even Rs. 3,000 to Rs. 5,000 extra helps monthly.

Encourage your spouse to try small work from home.

Every extra rupee saved or earned gives strength.

Step 10: Stay Away From Risky Options
Don’t invest in crypto or ponzi schemes.

Avoid chit funds and quick return ideas.

Never buy insurance plans with investment.

Focus only on safe and proven mutual fund SIPs.

Avoid direct funds, they mislead investors with no support.

Stick with regular funds guided by CFP.

You will get personal tracking and adjustment advice.

What You Must Not Do
Don’t feel late or regret the past.

Don’t stop children’s education for savings.

Don’t mix insurance and investments.

Don’t ignore retirement while saving for son.

Don’t depend on children for your old age.

Don’t compare your life with others.

What You Must Do Regularly
Track your monthly spending.

Save before you spend.

Review insurance and investment once a year.

Increase SIP every year.

Protect your health and peace of mind.

Finally
You have taken care of your family all these years.

That itself is a huge achievement.

From now, take one step at a time.

Cut small unnecessary spends.

Start saving even small amounts.

Secure your family with right insurance.

Begin SIPs in regular mutual funds through a Certified Financial Planner.

Don't fear the future.

Plan it, step by step, from today.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2025

Money
Do Bengaluru Real Estate reduce the cost of a house/apartments in future ? I'm really surprise to see that People are keep on buying/investing on houses even though their earnings are less. What's the miracles behind these situations? Is this due to AI ? is there any regulatory on these real estate communities ?
Ans: Your question is very important and timely.

Let us examine it from different angles in a simple and detailed way.

You asked:

Will Bangalore real estate prices fall in future?

Why are people still buying homes even with low income?

Is Artificial Intelligence (AI) causing this?

Are there any rules to control builders and developers?

Let us evaluate these step by step and provide you with a 360-degree view.

Real Estate Prices in Bangalore – Will They Fall in Future?
Real estate does not move like stocks or mutual funds.

Property price changes are slow and unpredictable.

In Bangalore, price fall is rare but price stagnation happens.

Builders usually hold prices even if demand drops.

They prefer giving discounts or free items, not price cuts.

Bangalore is a tech city. Demand comes from many IT hubs.

Migrants and job seekers keep entering the city.

This creates long-term demand in selected areas.

But oversupply can create flat price growth in some zones.

Far-off areas with fewer buyers may see some drop.

But centre areas or prime suburbs stay stable or go up.

Real estate in Bangalore is influenced by job market and IT sector.

AI may change jobs, but not immediately reduce housing need.

Will Bangalore Prices Go Down Due to AI?
AI may reduce some jobs in the long term.

But new tech also creates new jobs.

People will still migrate to Bangalore for jobs.

Housing demand continues if employment exists.

AI doesn’t directly reduce house prices.

Cost of land and materials remains same or increases.

Builders won’t reduce price due to AI speculation.

So no, AI is not pushing prices down.

AI adoption may reduce certain roles, but housing need stays.

Why Are People Still Buying Houses Even with Low Incomes?
Some people buy from peer pressure.

Others buy due to social or family expectations.

Many believe rent is a waste of money.

Some buyers assume real estate will double in few years.

Some fear future prices may go higher.

Some people get help from parents or inherit money.

Builders also give many offers and small EMIs.

People don’t always calculate full cost of ownership.

Many ignore loan interest, taxes, maintenance, etc.

Some buyers use home loan EMIs to reduce tax outflow.

All these reasons create emotional decisions, not rational ones.

Are These Decisions Wise for Everyone?
Not really.

Without cash flow stability, buying a house creates risk.

Some people stretch beyond safe EMI levels.

They skip protection like insurance or emergency fund.

Job loss, medical emergency, or loan hike can cause problems.

It is risky to buy only for tax benefit.

Without proper planning, house buying leads to debt trap.

Is There Any Regulation on Real Estate Developers?
Yes.

There is a law called RERA – Real Estate Regulation Act.

It aims to protect buyers from builder fraud.

Builders must register projects under RERA.

They must declare timelines, approvals and costs.

Delay in possession can lead to penalty.

But enforcement is still weak in some cases.

Some small builders skip RERA or delay registration.

Buyers must verify RERA number and approvals.

Property papers must be verified by legal expert.

RERA helps, but buyer must still be alert.

What Should You Do Before Buying Any House?
First check your job security.

Next check your income stability.

Keep 3–6 months emergency fund ready.

Ensure no other major loans running.

Home loan EMI must not exceed 35% of income.

Add future expenses also like school or medical cost.

Don’t buy just because others are buying.

Buying without planning causes stress.

Buying House is Emotional – Make It Financially Smart
Everyone wants to own their own home.

It gives security and pride.

But emotional decision must match financial reality.

Your house should not create money problems.

It must not kill your savings or investments.

If you can’t afford now, wait.

Rushing into house buying leads to regret.

Why Real Estate is Not an Investment Option
Real estate has poor liquidity.

You cannot sell it quickly in need.

Cost of holding is very high.

You pay maintenance, tax, loan interest.

There is no regular income unless rented.

Rental income is only 2–3% of cost.

Real estate also has legal and paperwork risks.

Good areas are costly and low margin.

Average or low areas have risk of non-appreciation.

Mutual funds and SIPs are better for wealth building.

What Happens if Job Market Weakens in Bangalore?
Real estate may become unsold or under-occupied.

Builders may reduce new launches.

Resale flats may flood the market.

Rental rates may soften.

But prime areas still stay in demand.

So choose location wisely, not just price.

Steps Before Buying Any Property
Check RERA registration of project.

Ask builder for all documents.

Compare prices in nearby projects.

Don’t believe only advertisements.

Visit actual site during working hours.

Talk to residents if resale property.

Check age of construction and resale history.

If You Still Wish to Buy – Do This
Don’t use all your savings for down payment.

Keep some cash for emergency.

Take property loan only after financial health check.

Consult Certified Financial Planner for proper budgeting.

Plan your insurance, cash flow and future savings.

Don’t Delay Mutual Fund Investing
Many people delay investing due to property buying.

But investment must run in parallel.

Mutual funds grow money faster than property.

SIPs create discipline and wealth.

Avoid direct funds.

Direct funds give no guidance or support.

Regular plans via MFD and CFP are better.

You get long-term hand-holding.

Also, active funds outperform index funds.

Index funds don’t manage downside.

They copy the market, including all losses.

In tough times, actively managed funds adjust better.

You get better return and less stress.

Final Insights
Bangalore real estate is unlikely to crash.

But price appreciation is not guaranteed.

Don’t buy emotionally or blindly follow others.

Every house buyer must check cash flow first.

Don’t compare your decision with neighbours.

Most people stretch loans without future planning.

Artificial Intelligence is not the main reason.

It’s lifestyle pressure and FOMO – fear of missing out.

RERA provides regulation, but buyer must stay cautious.

Never invest fully in property, keep diversification.

Mutual funds with CFP guidance create real wealth.

Property is shelter. It is not an investment.

Take your time. Think in all directions.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8462 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on May 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 17, 2025
Money
Have EPF Amount of 14 Lakhs. Is withdrawing a good Idea for clearing of my current loan amount of 18 Lakhs (Land Loan (13.5L) + Vechicle Loan(3.5)) approx. and Zero Cash in Hand and looking for a house to buy. Buying a 2nd Hand House is good or should go for 1st Hand House in Bangalore?
Ans: Let us assess your situation in a complete and structured way.

You have:

EPF of Rs. 14 Lakhs

Loan of Rs. 18 Lakhs (Land Loan Rs. 13.5L + Vehicle Loan Rs. 3.5L)

Zero cash in hand

Planning to buy a house in Bangalore

Let us review this in multiple aspects to give you a 360-degree perspective.

Understanding the Role of EPF
EPF is your retirement backup.

It grows with compounding over long term.

Interest earned is tax-free.

Withdrawals reduce your retirement strength.

Once you withdraw, building back is tough.

You lose long-term compounding power.

Use EPF only when there is a real need.

It is not ideal to treat EPF like an emergency fund.

It gives security when regular income stops.

Analysing Your Current Debt Position
Your total loan is Rs. 18 Lakhs.

Land loan of Rs. 13.5L is not tax-benefit eligible.

Vehicle loan of Rs. 3.5L is high interest and no tax benefit.

Carrying both loans with zero savings is risky.

Loan EMIs strain your monthly cash flow.

Risk increases if job or health issues arise.

Emergency fund is totally missing.

Clearing loan can give mental and financial peace.

Should You Use EPF for Loan Closure?
Withdrawing EPF reduces future security.

But having high debt and no cash is worse.

Compare risk of debt stress vs. EPF withdrawal loss.

If interest rate on loans is high, paying them off helps.

But EPF is not enough to clear Rs. 18 Lakhs fully.

You will still have a Rs. 4 Lakhs gap after withdrawal.

That again pushes you into zero buffer stage.

Instead, partial payment of high-cost loan is better.

What is the Better Loan to Close First?
Vehicle loan is not productive.

It depreciates and has no future value.

Clearing vehicle loan first is a smart step.

Land loan stays as asset, though not income-generating.

Use part of EPF to pay off vehicle loan.

The EMI of vehicle loan can then be saved monthly.

Create emergency buffer from that saving.

Importance of Cash Buffer
Zero cash is dangerous in personal finance.

Even Rs. 50,000 – 1 Lakh emergency fund helps.

It protects you from taking credit card or personal loan.

After using EPF, you again become zero in cash.

So don't use entire EPF to clear full loan.

Use some EPF, some cash flow discipline to reduce EMI burden.

Your Plan to Buy a House – Assessment
You already have land.

Now planning to buy a second-hand or new house.

Let us compare both options carefully.

Buying a Second-Hand House – Things to Know
Lower cost than new homes in same location.

Faster availability for possession.

Less GST or zero GST cost impact.

Old construction may need repair, repainting.

Legal verification is very important.

Check if property papers are clean.

Check for water, drainage, occupancy clearance.

Confirm no pending dues or litigations.

Location may be central or premium in some cases.

Buying a First-Hand House – Things to Consider
High cost due to premium and GST.

Builder reputation matters a lot.

Construction delays are common in new flats.

Possession may take 2–3 years.

Some builders overpromise and underdeliver.

New house means new fittings, less maintenance.

May come with warranty period.

Which is Better? First-Hand or Second-Hand?
If location and documents are clear, second-hand home is better.

You save GST and possession is quick.

Prices are more negotiable with second-hand homes.

Buying from builder has higher tax and premium.

Check age of house. Not more than 10–12 years is better.

Ensure society is well-maintained.

Budgeting Before You Buy the House
You already have Rs. 18 Lakhs loan.

Don't stretch loan again without repaying current one.

Buying house before clearing debt creates risk.

EMI-to-income ratio must be below 40%.

Home loan EMI with current loan EMI becomes too much.

Use current land loan equity before buying house.

Sell or part-mortgage land only if papers are clean.

Property Buying Tips in Bangalore
Check if the area has metro, school, hospital access.

Avoid outskirts if you plan to stay soon.

Compare price per sq.ft. with similar areas.

Visit in day and night to judge locality.

Prefer ready-to-move homes with proper documents.

Emotional vs Financial Decision
Buying house is emotional, but must be rational.

Don't buy house just to ‘own something’.

First make cash flow and debt stable.

Keep at least 3–6 months of expenses in cash.

Only then plan big commitments like home.

Do You Have Health Insurance?
Loans are risky without health protection.

Any health issue can derail finances.

Ensure you and dependents are covered.

Don’t skip term life insurance either.

Mutual Fund Planning – Once Loans are Controlled
After clearing high-cost loan, begin investing.

Start SIPs even if it is Rs. 2,000 per month.

Avoid direct mutual funds.

Direct funds have no support, no goal tracking.

Mistakes in fund selection cost more than savings.

Invest through Certified Financial Planner and MFD.

Regular plans give expert rebalancing.

You get behavioural support in market corrections.

Also get fund changes done as per performance.

Avoid Index Funds in Your Case
Index funds don’t beat market returns.

They carry full downside during fall.

No downside protection or fund manager control.

Actively managed funds adapt better in volatility.

You need good alpha for wealth building.

Protect Your Financial Future
EPF is long-term. Use with caution.

Make a step-by-step roadmap for loan clearing.

Track your monthly surplus and control expenses.

Once you are cash positive, plan house.

Never mix emotional wish with current affordability.

Build wealth gradually, not urgently.

Seek support from Certified Financial Planner always.

Finally
Do not use full EPF for loan.

Use part of it to reduce pressure.

Keep emergency fund aside.

Clear vehicle loan first to reduce risk.

Delay home purchase till loans are under control.

Second-hand home is a good option if papers are clean.

Maintain 360-degree view of finances.

Don’t rush. Stay disciplined.

Keep savings, debt and protection balanced.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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