Relationship dilemma: Boyfriend unstable, parents want me to marry someone else, what do I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I am sorry to hear that you are going through a rough patch. Sometimes parents make decisions on our behalf without understanding what it is that we want; that doesn't necessarily mean that our parents are selfish. More often than not, they do it with our best intentions in mind. You might be misunderstanding your parents wanting to show off a rich son-in-law. It is possible that they want you to have an easy life. Having said that, it is also important that your feelings be taken into consideration. You have been with your partner for five years and that is a significant amount of time. I suggest you try to reason with your parents. You can try bringing them all together and ask both your parents and your boyfriend's parents to talk it out. If there is clear communication, nothing will be left to assumptions. Next, keep on mentioning all the positive things about your partner. Try to etch that in your parents' mind. Third, if you are not working, I suggest you start looking for a job. Regardless of your parents', husband's, and his family's financial conditions, you should have financial freedom. You can also contribute to building a better life for yourself and your family.
I am sure your boyfriend and his family are amazing; you have spent five years with him and that should give you a fair idea. But just a gentle reminder, no one can be sure of someone's true nature till they start living together. I am not insinuating that your relatives are right about badmouthing your partner's family; all I am suggesting is that you look into it a bit more thoroughly. Marriage is indeed a big decision and rushing into it would be foolish.
And one more thing, it's just a phase. Tough times don't last forever.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
When he does not want to marry you, then what makes you waste so much time on him?
Move on with your life; it's not about getting married like the way your parents intend BUT more a signal to yourself to stop in your tracks and focus on what's important to you; your life...

He can be a good friend still supporting you (If the two of you can find that maturity) and you will both be able to walk on your own paths which isn't happening now. When he is clear that he is not going to commit to it, it should be enough data for you to look into yourself and know that you are trying hard to make something happen that does not want to happen. Making sense here?

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Any parent will worry for the future of their children.
The responsibility of making a marriage work, bringing in the money now rests on both the partners and maybe your parents are unable to still see that as a possibility. It only means you and your BF need to go that extra mile to actually address their concerns whatever the concerns maybe.
Once you address their concerns and find solutions, you will not need to convince them and they will easily accept your relationship. Address and work on their concerns...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/