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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1308 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 02, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Ravi Question by Ravi on Jun 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi for some reason nowdays, I am having this fetish about my wife having an affair. It does not help that she is good looking flirty with other guys and they flirt back at her. But instead of getting angry the idea of her having sex with some other guy turns me on like crazy. Is there anything wrong with me and what should I do to change this mindset.

Ans: Dear Ravi,
What happens with two consenting adults and in your case, the two of you are married...it is strictly between them.
Now, the challenge would be if your fetish is something that your wife does not want to indulge into...
Also, if this becomes the only way that you can be intimate with you wife, then you will start to become dependent on it. That's when you become a slave to it and without it, you will feel no attraction.

This way can possibly be a good add-on spice to your intimate life. But, also bring back the spice between the two by spending more quality time with each other...Do remember, there's a good reason why you married her and you do know the reason why you used to be attracted by her. Bring that back and use this add-on more as something that you summon only at times. It's not that difficult, a bit of effort to connect more meaningfully as a couple can help here...

All the best!

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1308 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 16, 2022

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I don't want to disclose my name. I am married and have two children. I have a beautiful wife but I always tend to think about having a relationship with other women. I haven't had any relationship but I also want to be loyal to my wife. Our sex life is average. Everyday I try to avoid thinking this is useless but I can’t. Please advice.
Ans:

Dear IS,

What we try and avoid, we obsess over that more.

What is the real reason for wanting a relationship outside of marriage?

It is very easy and tempting to run away from facing issues that might be plaguing your marriage and hold on to something outside. Justifications maybe many.

Have you and your wife worked out issues at an emotional level.

Sex is one element of marriage and not the only one.

Maybe she feels emotionally disconnected from you as you might feel physically disconnected from her.

Whatever it is, bringing another person into a marriage isn’t going to sort out anything.

But if you have decided that a few complications aren’t going to hurt, well that is what is leading you to obsess over wanting another woman.

Instead, can you actually think of rebuilding the marriage? Of course, the want needs to be there else it’s a pointless exercise.

It takes a lot of work and patience and calm understanding between spouses to make a marriage work. Slippages can cost a parson his/ her marriage.

So, maybe it’s time to actually list down the best qualities you see in your wife and oh, yes WHY the two of you married in the first place, This WHY can re-energize you to look at things differently and more usefully.

The fact that you want to be loyal to your wife does suggest that there is a lot of love and care still in the marriage.

Who knows, the obsessive thoughts may fade…give your marriage another chance. I am sure you know that it deserves that chance!

All the best!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |659 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 19, 2024Hindi
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Money
I am 42 years old working as a Senior Manager with a public sector company. I have already completed 20 years of service and planning to take VRS after 6 years. I have a son who is 11 years of age and wife who is a homemaker. My net monthly income is around Rs 3 lacs . I have one home loan of Rs 140 lacs and car loan of Rs 10 lacs availed recently for 6 years. My monthly expenses are total Rs 154000/- ( Rs 133000 EMI and Rs 60000 household and education expenses). I am presently investing SIP of Rs 1.00 lac per month. My present portfolio is Rs 83 lacs in MF and Rs 50 lacs in Provident fund of employer. I have two house property and one of them is debt free. My wife have jewelry of around Rs 25 lacs. After VRS, I would receive monthly pension of around Rs 85k which would increase every year by around 5% due to dearness relief and would be sufficient to cover my monthly expenses. After 6 years I would receive around Rs 150 lacs as terminal benefit after retirement. My MF corpus would grow to around 250 lacs (assuming growth of 12% as all MF are in equity-based funds). The car loan would be closed by then and home loan outstanding would be around 120 lacs. I am planning to utilize total corpus of Rs 400 lacs in following manner: Fixed Deposit: Rs 80 lacs ( Rs 40 lacs for education of kid and Rs 40 lacs for emergency needs) Pre payment of Rs 40 lacs towards home loan Invest Rs 150 lacs in debt and hybrid MF and avail 6% yearly STP for repayment of home loan o/s Rs 80 lacs ( as EMI would reduce to around Rs 69k). I want to continue home loan to avail interest and 80C rebate. Invest Rs 20 lacs in renovation of another existing old home. Keep Rs 100 lacs invested in equity based mutual funds Saving Account: Rs 10 lacs for recurring and emergency fund I have one term insurance of Rs 3 cr and health insurance of Rs 20 lacs for my family. I want to know whether with this planning I would be able to retire comfortably. Thanking you in advance.
Ans: Hello;

You have mentioned STP but I believe it is SWP(6%) from a debt hybrid MF.

Conservative hybrid debt fund returns generally are in 8-9% range and if you do 6% SWP, your corpus will not be inflation proof and prone to significant decrease during negative or flat returns from funds. Pure equity funds should not be considered for SWP in retirement due to high risks.

Therefore I strongly recommend SWP rate should not go beyond 3% at any time.

So accordingly you may have to allocate 300 L in conservative hybrid debt funds and SWP at 3% can yield monthly income of around 67.5 K (post-tax).

You may invest balance 100 L as 40 L for kid's education, 40 L for partial home loan repayment, 10 L for old house renovation and 10 L for emergency.

Carrying home loan into retirement for some income tax deduction is not a good idea but it is ultimately your choice.

You have another option of buying a joint annuity for life for yourself and your spouse with return of purchase price to your nominee (250 L).

Considering 6% annuity rate you may expect post tax monthly income of 87.5 K. You may get a better annuity rate if you check with different life insurance companies.

This gives you scope for allocating funds as, 40 L for kid's education, 40 L for home loan repayment, 20 L for old house renovation, 10 L as emergency fund and balance 40 L invested in balanced advantage and muti asset allocation funds instead of pure equity mutual funds.(Relatively lower risk).

Best wishes;
X: @mars_invest

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7051 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 19, 2024

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Money
I am 71 years old.My investment in Mutual funds is 70 lac (lumpsum)and Rs 40000 per month.I have a partnership business from where I draw around 2 lac per month.How can I have around 2 lac per month from MF so that I feel safer and securer
Ans: At 71 years of age, ensuring safety and stability is essential. You have built a solid financial foundation. A combination of mutual fund investments and your business income provides flexibility for sustainable financial security. Below is a detailed 360-degree plan to achieve your goal of Rs. 2 lakh monthly income from mutual funds.

Understanding Your Current Situation
Existing Mutual Fund Investments: Rs. 70 lakh in lump sum and Rs. 40,000 monthly SIP are commendable.

Business Income: Drawing Rs. 2 lakh monthly from your partnership adds stability.

Primary Goal: Generating Rs. 2 lakh monthly from mutual funds while ensuring financial safety.

Key Recommendations for Generating Regular Income
1. Use Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWP) for Consistent Cash Flow

SWPs offer a fixed monthly withdrawal from mutual funds.

They allow you to continue investing while receiving regular income.

Choose equity and hybrid mutual funds for a balanced risk-reward ratio.

Select a withdrawal amount less than the expected returns to preserve capital.

2. Diversify Across Fund Types for Stability

Maintain a mix of equity, hybrid, and debt funds for portfolio balance.

Equity funds provide growth potential. Hybrid funds offer moderate risk. Debt funds ensure safety.

This diversification reduces dependence on any one fund type.

3. Rebalance Your Portfolio Periodically

Market fluctuations can shift asset allocation.

Review your portfolio every six months to ensure proper balance.

Increase debt fund allocation as you age to reduce risks.

4. Evaluate Tax Implications for Withdrawal

Equity fund LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

STCG is taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains are taxed as per your income slab.

Plan withdrawals to minimize tax impact.

5. Avoid Overdependence on Business Income

Business income may fluctuate or reduce over time.

Mutual funds can bridge any income gaps as a reliable alternative.

6. Maintain an Emergency Corpus

Set aside Rs. 10–15 lakh in a liquid fund for emergencies.

Ensure quick access during unforeseen situations.

7. Avoid Index and Direct Funds for Income Goals

Index funds lack active management, affecting returns during volatility.

Direct funds can complicate tracking and require extensive research.

Instead, prefer regular plans through a certified financial planner (CFP) for expert management.

8. Evaluate Insurance Needs

Ensure adequate health insurance coverage for medical emergencies.

Avoid investment-linked insurance policies like ULIPs.

Focus solely on standalone insurance products.

9. Plan for Inflation Protection

Adjust your withdrawal strategy to account for rising costs.

Reinvest surplus returns into equity or hybrid funds for growth.

Additional Suggestions for Enhanced Safety
1. Regular Income Options within Mutual Funds

Hybrid funds can provide steady returns with low volatility.

Monthly income plans (MIPs) offer consistent payouts.

2. Focus on Legacy Planning

Consider your family’s future needs while planning withdrawals.

Maintain a will and nominate beneficiaries for your investments.

3. Periodic Review with a Certified Financial Planner

Engage with a CFP to reassess your portfolio regularly.

A CFP can help align your investments with your evolving goals.

Final Insights
Your financial position is strong, and your goal of Rs. 2 lakh monthly from mutual funds is achievable. By using SWPs, diversifying investments, and rebalancing periodically, you can secure regular income without compromising capital. Stay focused on disciplined planning and professional guidance for long-term financial safety.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed

Dr Shakeeb Ahmed Khan  |125 Answers  |Ask -

Physiotherapist - Answered on Nov 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 19, 2024Hindi
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Health
Hi Sir, I am a handicapped person, my age is 43 and 5 years ago I met with an accident due to which I have a plate implanted in my thighs as my femer bone was damaged badly of same polio leg & now it has the plate, fixed on 15 screws, I had gain weight after C- session, as of now I am 96kg, I need to lose my weight but my problem is I can't do jogging, walk or any physical exercise. Can you please suggest me something thru which I can lose my weight till 25-28 kg, I am doing work from home so most of the time. I be busy in office work due to which my physical activities are too less
Ans: Thank you for sharing your concerns. It’s important to use sensitive language, so instead of the term “handicapped,” you may identify as a person with a disability. Now coming to Weight loss, it is achievable even with limited mobility by focusing on proper nutrition and customized activities. Create a calorie deficit by consuming balanced meals rich in protein, fiber, and healthy fats, while minimizing processed foods. Stay active with seated exercises like arm movements, resistance band training, or light weight lifting. Even you can throw basketball against wall to keep burning calories, bicycle with your arms instead of your legs etc .Practice mindful eating with portion control, slow chewing, and adequate hydration. Take short breaks from work to stretch, and consult a physiotherapist for personalized advice. Track your progress through weight or measurements and celebrate small victories to stay motivated. If your disability is significant, consider applying for a disability certificate for additional support. I wish you good luck...

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7051 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 19, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 18, 2024Hindi
Money
I am 44 years old with 2 kids in class 11 and 10. I have 2 Flats without any loan. I have total 22 lacs ( in Stocks), 34 lacs in nutual funds, 40 lacs in FDs and 37 lacs in PF. If I have to retire tomorrow, how much Corpus will I need.
Ans: Retiring at 44 is an ambitious goal, but with careful planning, it’s achievable. Your current assets and financial goals must align to sustain your post-retirement life. Here's a detailed assessment and strategy.

1. Estimating Retirement Corpus Needs

Retirement requires a large corpus to ensure financial independence.

The corpus must cover daily expenses, medical costs, and lifestyle needs.
It should also provide for children’s education and marriages if not already funded.
Assume inflation-adjusted withdrawals for 40+ years, as life expectancy could extend to 85.
A Certified Financial Planner can help calculate the exact amount based on your lifestyle and expenses.

2. Evaluating Your Current Financial Assets

Your assets are impressive and form a strong financial base.

Stocks (Rs. 22 Lacs): This portfolio may provide high growth but carries risks.
Mutual Funds (Rs. 34 Lacs): A well-diversified portfolio of actively managed funds ensures moderate to high returns.
Fixed Deposits (Rs. 40 Lacs): These offer stability but are less effective against inflation.
Provident Fund (Rs. 37 Lacs): This corpus is a reliable, long-term asset.
Together, these assets provide a solid starting point for retirement planning.

3. Estimating Monthly Expenses After Retirement

Your monthly expenses will determine the required corpus.

Identify essential expenses like groceries, utilities, and healthcare.
Consider discretionary expenses like travel and hobbies for a comfortable lifestyle.
Factor in children's education and marriage expenses as immediate needs.
Ensure you account for inflation, which erodes purchasing power over time.

4. Planning for Children’s Education and Marriage

Your children’s education and marriage are significant financial commitments.

Class 11 and 10 suggest education expenses will occur soon.
Factor in tuition fees, living expenses, and any higher education abroad.
Marriage costs will depend on your family’s traditions and preferences.
Allocate separate funds for these goals to avoid disrupting your retirement corpus.

5. Structuring Your Retirement Portfolio

A retirement portfolio should balance growth, stability, and liquidity.

Equity Investments: Retain part of your stocks and mutual funds for long-term growth.
Debt Instruments: Use fixed deposits and provident funds for stable returns.
Balanced Approach: Diversify across asset classes to minimise risks.
Keep a portion in liquid assets for emergencies and short-term needs.

6. Avoiding Over-Reliance on Fixed Deposits

Fixed deposits provide safety but may not outpace inflation.

Their post-tax returns are often lower than inflation rates.
Redeem some FDs and reinvest in diversified mutual funds for higher growth.
Focus on actively managed funds that adapt to market conditions better.
This will enhance your portfolio’s ability to sustain long-term withdrawals.

7. Accounting for Healthcare and Emergency Needs

Healthcare costs can rise sharply as you age.

Maintain a comprehensive health insurance policy for yourself and your family.
Ensure your insurance covers critical illnesses and hospitalisation.
Set aside a medical contingency fund in a liquid mutual fund or savings account.
This ensures you don’t dip into your retirement corpus for emergencies.

8. Managing Tax Liabilities on Investments

Understanding tax implications can maximise your post-retirement income.

Equity Investments: LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%. STCG is taxed at 20%.
Debt Instruments: Both LTCG and STCG are taxed as per your income slab.
Fixed Deposits: Interest income is fully taxable under your income slab.
A CFP can optimise your withdrawals to minimise tax outflows.

9. Creating an Income Stream for Retirement

A sustainable income stream is essential for meeting monthly expenses.

Systematic Withdrawal Plans (SWPs) from mutual funds provide regular income.
Withdraw dividends or interest from debt instruments systematically.
Avoid withdrawing too much too soon to ensure the corpus lasts longer.
Plan withdrawals in a tax-efficient manner with professional advice.

10. Protecting and Growing Your Retirement Corpus

To sustain a 40-year retirement, your corpus must grow over time.

Invest in equity-oriented funds for inflation-beating returns.
Reallocate funds periodically to maintain an optimal equity-debt balance.
Review your portfolio annually with a Certified Financial Planner.
This disciplined approach ensures steady growth and reduced risks.

11. Avoid Common Mistakes in Retirement Planning

Mistakes can significantly impact the sustainability of your corpus.

Over-Conservatism: Avoid keeping too much in low-return instruments like FDs.
Ignoring Inflation: Failing to account for inflation reduces purchasing power.
Emotional Decisions: Avoid panic-selling during market volatility.
Stick to your financial plan and seek professional guidance.

12. Final Insights

Retiring at 44 is achievable with disciplined planning and professional advice. Ensure you maintain a balance between growth and safety. Regular reviews and adjustments will help sustain your corpus for decades.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |7051 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Nov 19, 2024

Money
Dear Rama Sir, I am 42 years and have been doing SIP since last 3 years. My monthly SIPs are as : ICICI Prudential Bluechip Fund : 20 K, DSP Mid CAP: 5K, SBI Small CAP: 12 K, Parag Parikh Flexi: 10 K and HDFC Balanced Advantage: 10 K. Also, I have invested Lumpsum amount of Rs. 50 K in DSP mid CAP, Rs. 15 K in ICICI Ultra Short and Rs. 4 Lacs in SBI Contra. Pl review and suggest improvements if required. I recently got bonus and can invest more in Lumpsum in your suggested funds. Request your guidance Sir.
Ans: Your systematic investment plan (SIP) portfolio shows a structured approach. It reflects a mix of large-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, flexi-cap, and balanced funds. The lump sum investments add diversification. This balanced allocation demonstrates prudence and clarity.

Let us review each aspect of your portfolio and provide tailored suggestions.

Strengths in Your Current Portfolio
Diversified Allocation: Your investments span large, mid, small caps, and flexi-cap categories. This reduces risk.

Consistent SIPs: Monthly SIPs total Rs. 57,000, reflecting commitment. SIPs instill discipline and capture market volatility over time.

Growth Potential: Mid-cap and small-cap funds provide good growth opportunities over the long term.

Lump Sum in Contra Fund: Rs. 4 lakh in a contra strategy adds a contrarian element. This could yield good returns in specific market conditions.

Areas for Improvement
Overlapping Funds: Multiple funds may invest in similar sectors or stocks. This could lead to duplication.

Balanced Allocation Concerns: High allocation to equity-oriented funds increases risk. A more balanced approach can help achieve stability.

Debt Investment Allocation: ICICI Ultra Short-Term Fund at Rs. 15,000 seems under-allocated. Adding more to debt can stabilize your portfolio.

Limited Sectoral Diversification: Current funds focus mainly on broader indices. Exposure to sectoral or thematic funds could enhance growth.

Suggestions for Portfolio Improvement
1. Optimise Equity Allocation
Retain a mix of large, mid, and small-cap funds, but assess overlap.
Avoid holding too many funds with a similar investment strategy. This leads to diluted returns.
Focus on funds with consistent performance and proven track records.
2. Strengthen Debt Investment
Increase allocation to debt funds for stability. Balanced funds are helpful, but dedicated debt funds are crucial for portfolio cushioning.
Consider short-term and corporate bond funds for steady returns.
3. Increase Lump Sum Allocation Wisely
Allocate the bonus amount across diversified funds to align with your goals.
Divide lump sum investments into tranches to leverage market corrections.
4. Assess Contra Fund Exposure
While contra funds offer unique opportunities, Rs. 4 lakh is a significant portion.
Limit exposure to avoid overdependence on contrarian strategies, which work best in certain cycles.
5. Tax Efficiency
Equity fund gains over Rs. 1.25 lakh annually are taxed at 12.5%.
Debt fund gains are taxed per your slab. Factor this into future investments.
Plan withdrawals smartly to reduce tax liabilities.
6. Emergency Fund
Ensure sufficient liquidity for emergencies. Allocate 6-12 months of expenses to liquid or ultra-short-term funds.
7. Avoid Overinvesting in a Single Strategy
Balanced advantage funds are versatile, but reliance on one strategy may restrict returns.
Maintain exposure while investing in other complementary funds.
Suggested Allocation for Your Bonus
Equity Investments

Direct part of your bonus to funds with high potential but less overlap.
Diversify by including funds with sectoral or thematic exposure.
Debt Investments

Allocate a portion to debt funds for stability.
Ultra-short-term funds can help with short-term goals.
Hybrid Funds

Use hybrid funds for a mix of equity and debt without aggressive risk.
Gold Investments

If not already, consider Sovereign Gold Bonds (SGB) for diversification.
Broader Financial Planning Recommendations
Goal-Oriented Investments
Map each investment to a specific goal like retirement, children’s education, or home purchase.
This ensures focus and clarity.
Insurance Coverage Check
Evaluate existing life and health insurance policies. Ensure they are sufficient to cover your family’s needs.
If you hold ULIPs, evaluate their returns. Surrendering may allow reinvestment into mutual funds.
Estate Planning
Ensure your investments are nominated and estate documents updated.
A will can simplify asset distribution and avoid future disputes.
Monitor Regularly
Review your portfolio semi-annually to track performance and make adjustments.
This keeps your investments aligned with changing goals and market conditions.
Benefits of Regular Funds Over Direct Funds
Expert Guidance: Investing through a Certified Financial Planner offers advice on fund selection.
Streamlined Process: Regular funds ensure consistent monitoring and better decision-making.
Human Oversight: Direct funds demand deeper financial knowledge. Advisors simplify choices.
Final Insights
Your portfolio reflects strong discipline and a solid foundation. Optimizing fund selection, balancing equity-debt, and aligning investments with goals can enhance returns.

Allocate your bonus systematically for maximum benefit. Avoid impulsive investments and maintain long-term discipline. This approach will keep you on track for financial independence.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP

Chief Financial Planner

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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