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Planning to Meet Your Girlfriend Despite Distance and Family Backgrounds?

Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 19, 2025

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Shubham Question by Shubham on Feb 18, 2025Hindi
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Relationship

We are planning to meet but we are distant apart...and we arr going to tell our parents once it for all...so that we keep not regrets behind..we both are from similar kind of middle class..m s marathi and she s a bengali.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
First meet in the real world and then make plans for the future.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 22, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Arrange marriage:Last week I visited the girl's home for the first time with my family. She spoke with me in a friendly manner, but she mentioned twice that it's difficult to understand someone in the first meeting. Three days later, they informed the middleman that they like me, and my father will communicate our decision to them. They will plan to visit my home in two weeks, after which the marriage will be fixed. In the meantime, should I send her a friend request and ask to meet at a coffee shop, or should I wait to talk to her until after the marriage is fixed in two weeks?
Ans: If you feel comfortable and the environment is open enough, sending a friend request could be a way to gently open up a line of communication without overstepping any boundaries. It allows her to accept at her own pace. After the friend request, you could start with light, respectful conversation to get to know her better, keeping it casual and non-intrusive. Asking to meet at a coffee shop is a good idea, but only if she seems comfortable engaging in that kind of interaction before things are officially finalized.

It’s essential to be patient and read the situation carefully. If you sense that she might prefer waiting for the official approval of the families, it might be wise to hold off on asking for a meetup until after the marriage is fixed. This would allow both families to feel more at ease and give you two more space to connect after the formalities.

Ultimately, it’s about balancing respect for tradition with your desire to build a connection. If she has shown openness, and you feel like she might appreciate the gesture, reaching out before the marriage is fixed could help both of you get to know each other in a more comfortable setting. But if you’re unsure, waiting the two weeks won’t hurt either.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 11, 2025

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Relationship
I am 26 and she is 25…but tbh maam mujhe lgta hai uske parents pr jada influence unke rishtedaro ka hai..vo unko force krte hai ki jldi shadi krdeni chaiye..uski nani bolte hai mere jeetey ji shadi krwa do m dkhlungi …thoda emotional blackmail type krte hai..or sirf phla hi rishta dekha tha unhone or 1 baar milne pr hi haan b krdiya sayad ladke valo ki family ko…pr mujhe esa b lgta hai ki koi bhi parents itne to strict nhi hote hongi ki bacho ki bilkul hi na sune …sayad ladki ko itni jldi himat nhi harni chaiye usko or efforts krne chaiye thats what i think…mujhe smjh nhi ara m kisko blame kru khud b krta hu ki kash jldi job leleta to ye din na dkhna pdhta pr ek mn me khyal ata hai ki tb b to caste differences hote tb bhi to himat dikhani pdhti khud ke liye fight krna pdhta tb kya vo kr pati? Vo pandit hai unme caste society kya sochegi ye chij sbse phle dekhi jati h…usne to mujhe boldiya ki ki usse koi umeed nhi dikhri hai hme move on krna chaiye pr m koi b hope ni chrd para hu mujhe umeed hai pr usko nhi hai or m ..na to pdhai me concentrate kr para hu bilkul bhi stressed hu job ko lekr bhi apne relationship ko lekr bhi future ko soch soch kr bhi ..m sari taraf se fs gya hu …
Ans: Dear solar,
App padhaai pe dhayaan dena pehle and ladki ko bolna ki tab tak woh apne parents ko sambhal le...naukri ki talaask bhi jaari rakhiye taaki exam hote hi aap ladki ke pariwaar se milke shaayd unhe samjhaa sake...
par zaroori yeh hai ki yeh pareeksha sirf aapke liye hi nahin balki ladki ka bhi hai ki kitna aur kis hadd tak woh apne parents ko taal sakti hai...aapka dhyaan ab sirf pareeksha pe hona chahiye.
Uske baad faisla lena ka bhi haq ban jaayega aap logon ka...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on May 08, 2025

Relationship
Hello Gurus, i am M 30 I called a girl in an AM setup. Parents are involved and they talk to each other as well. After 2-3 months of continuous talking to her over phn i am convince their family is good and even she is a very good person. So we decided to meet her in person and also parents are meeting. Even though everything seems to be positive i want to check with you since its my first meeting in person is there any advice or suggestion that can help me navigate myself ? What things are imp to discuss even though we have discuss things over phn like emotional intelligence, kids, where to live etc. Your advice would be helpful for sure.
Ans: Dear Shan,
That’s a really good question. Before going to her place, try to build a mindset of understanding her, without any preconceived notion or pressure to get married. In terms of discussion, to understand emotional compatibility you can observe her behaviour- how she deals with stress, or how she might deal with conflict. Discuss daily life expectations, like what you like to do on weekends, do you enjoy occasional drinking or partying, do you enjoy spending time with friends, family gatherings, disciplined lifestyle, etc. Discuss about each other’s work life balance, expectations from in-laws and any non-negotiables. You should also discuss kids- if they want them, if you want them, and also when. Get clarity on expected living arrangements to avoid any future conflicts. These should be more than enough for a first-time meeting.
Hope these help

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |6239 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Career
I got 114 marks in MET and my rank is 11137 and I got Electronics and Computer Engineering in Bangalore Campus, but being my preferred branch cse,will i get cse in Bangalore Campus if I go to the further rounds of counselling??
Ans: With MET rank 11137 and 114 marks, securing CSE at MIT Bangalore Campus in subsequent counselling rounds presents significant challenges but limited possibilities exist through the five-round counselling process. The current Round 1 cutoff for CSE at MIT Bangalore stands at 9362 for general category, while your Electronics and Computer Engineering allotment indicates acceptance within the 11838 closing rank range. MET 2025 counselling operates through five rounds plus an intra-institute sliding round, with registration for Round 2 scheduled from June 18-19, 2025, followed by seat allotment on June 21, 2025. Historical data shows CSE cutoffs have remained consistently competitive, with Round 1 closing ranks of 5141 in 2024, 6494 in 2023, and similar trends across previous years. While rank improvements of 1,000-2,000 positions occasionally occur in later rounds due to seat surrendering and choice modifications, the gap of approximately 1,775 ranks between your rank (11137) and current CSE cutoff (9362) makes admission highly unlikely. MIT Bangalore demonstrates strong placement performance with highest package of INR 51 LPA, average package of INR 12.5 LPA, and median package of INR 10 LPA, with top recruiters including Amazon, Microsoft, TCS, Goldman Sachs, and over 330 companies participating in placements. Electronics and Computer Engineering at MIT Bangalore offers excellent career prospects with strong industry exposure similar to CSE, benefiting from the centralized placement process shared with MIT Manipal. Recommendation: Accept Electronics and Computer Engineering at MIT Bangalore as it offers excellent placement prospects with similar industry exposure to CSE, while registering for subsequent counselling rounds as backup, though CSE admission probability remains extremely low given the competitive cutoff trends and significant rank gap. All the BEST for the Admission & a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8911 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jun 13, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 13, 2025
Money
I'm 30 years old unmarried. I have 5L FD, 4L in savings, 25k Rd every month, 11k MF(w/step-up of 500 semi-annually), 20K quaterly in PPF 27k home loan emi, 10K saving additionally for collecting 6 months worth emi, 1.7L is monthly income. My home loan(joint) emi will go for 4 more years from now, after that siblings will take that. I want to have financial freedom as soon as possible but also build some assets of my own and travel. Please suggest a plan.
Ans: You are 30, unmarried, and already doing well. You are saving and investing thoughtfully. That is excellent. Let us build a 360?degree strategy covering wealth creation, financial freedom, travel, and goals of your own.

Current Snapshot
You are 30 and unmarried.

You have Rs.?5?lakh in FD and Rs.?4?lakh in savings.

You invest Rs.?25?k monthly in RD.

You run a mutual fund SIP of Rs.?11?k monthly with semi?annual Rs.?500 step?ups.

You invest Rs.?20?k quarterly (about Rs.?6.6?k monthly) in PPF.

Your joint home loan EMI is Rs.?27?k per month and ends in 4 years.

You save an extra Rs.?10?k monthly to build a 6?month EMI buffer.

Your total monthly income is Rs.?1.7?lakh.

You already display strong financial habits. Now let’s refine the plan for financial freedom, assets, and travel.

Emergency Fund & Liquidity
You have over 6 months’ expenses already covered.
Keep this buffer in a liquid mutual fund or sweep-in FD.
Convert some savings to liquid investment for slightly higher yield.
Maintain this fund to avoid disrupting long-term investments in a crisis.

Optimise Low-Yield Investments
Your RD yields low returns. Shift it gradually to growth-oriented but stable alternatives.
Consider debt or hybrid mutual funds that provide better returns with liquidity.
Phase out RD once your liquid fund is comfortable and step into better-performing assets.

Debt and Home Loan Strategy
Your home loan EMI of Rs.?27?k ends in 4 years.
Continue saving Rs.?10?k monthly towards an EMI buffer.
Once EMI ends, redirect EMI and buffer savings into your SIPs and goals.
If a lump sum or bonus comes, consider part-prepayment to lower interest and tenure.

PPF Contribution
Your quarterly contributions to PPF offer tax-free, safe returns.
Continue regular investments up to Rs.?1 lakh per financial year.
Keep PPF as your conservative investment pillar alongside equity SIPs.

Mutual Fund SIP Strategy
You currently invest Rs.?11?k monthly with step-ups.
Target increasing SIP to Rs.?25?k monthly over time.
Build a diversified allocation across fund categories: large-cap, flexi-cap, mid-cap, small-cap, ELSS, and balanced-advantage.
Maintain a mix that balances risk and growth appropriate for your age.

Why Avoid Direct and Index Funds
Direct funds lack guidance and portfolio review.
You might exit wrongly during market volatility.
Index funds follow index blindly and cannot protect against downturns.
Actively managed funds make strategic stock decisions and offer downside protection.
Opt for regular plans through CFP?affiliated MFDs for support.

Insurance Cover
Unmarried at 30, you still need personal cover:
Health insurance with a minimum Rs.?5–10 lakh sum insured is recommended.
If any debt continues after EMI ends, consider term life insurance of at least Rs.?1 crore to cover financial liabilities.
Avoid mixing insurance with investment through ULIP or traditional plans.

Goal-Based Investing: Travel & Asset Building
You want travel and building assets.
Allocate Rs.?5?k monthly to a travel fund in a 2–3 year time horizon via hybrid or short-term debt funds.
For personal assets (car, skills, etc.), allocate another Rs.?5?k to mid-term equity or hybrid funds with a 5–7 year horizon.
Use goal-based mapping to maintain your focus and avoid detours.

Passive Income and Financial Freedom
After EMI ends, the redirected Rs.?37?k monthly can power your passive income goals.
Continue SIPs to build across balanced and equity funds.
Over time, the portfolio can be adjusted toward hybrid or debt for regular income once it reaches sufficient size.
Consider skill-based side income streams aligned with your interests to boost freedom.

Review and Rebalance
Perform a disciplined review of your portfolio every 6 to 12 months with your CFP and MFD.
Assess fund performance, risk levels, and alignment with your goals.
Rebalance asset allocation to maintain your original risk profile.
Avoid frequent switching based on short-term trends—focus on long-term wealth creation.

Scaling Up SIPs Post-EMI
To build momentum:

Year 1: Gradually increase monthly SIP to Rs.?15–18?k

Year 2–3: Scale further to Rs.?25?k as disposable income grows and EMI stops

This step-up system adapts to your changing cash flow without burdening your budget.

Final Insights
Your financial discipline is commendable; keep it up

Strengthen emergency and liquid cushions first

Shift low-yield RD to growth-oriented funds

Maintain PPF for stability

Build diversified SIP portfolio through expert guidance

Avoid direct or index funds

Secure health cover and term insurance if debt remains

Plan for travel and assets with targeted funds

Aim to create passive income through SIPs and skills

Monitor and rebalance annually, not frequently

Your journey to financial freedom is well underway. With structure and consistency, you can achieve independence, travel goals, and build meaningful assets.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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