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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1771 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 15, 2024

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 09, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

me and my partner enjoy role plays. But we are afraid if it can affect our thoughts and emotions negatively in long term. Kindly advise, if we can continue or should restrict our minds

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If the two of you enjoy, who is to comment on this? Have your fun...it adds some much needed spice into a routine sex life.
But yeah, fantasy can become a reality for that moment but don't spend so much time in that fantasy that you forget what it is to live the real world. Unrealistic expectations from your partner and disappointments can cause the same to become stressful.
So enjoy what you have and also remind yourself that you are simply recreating a fantasy and living it just for that moment and it ends with that.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1771 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 07, 2022

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Relationship
Dear Anu,I would like to stay anonymous. I read your columns regularly and am located in USA. My question is regarding me and my wife. We are very happy with each other and have a very healthy sex life (Almost 4-5 times a week). We both are fond of sex and we like role playing and imaging various things. Recently we jokingly talked about me having sex with 2 ladies at the same time or she having sex with two men. This curiosity led us to discover the world of swingers. After lot of discussions, we decided to visit a swingers’ club with some hesitation. But when we entered we were surprised to see a lot of people hanging out there. We found a cute couple who we interacted with and had our first swingers experience. We both trust each other and enjoyed a lot seeing each other having fun with someone else. I believe this is basically due to the trust we have on each other. We never had any experience after that as we cannot travel much due to our kids. We think this experience has rejuvenated our sex life and kept us longing for more. We are more attached to each other than before. What are your views on this?
Ans:

Dear MP,

It depends on what the couple agrees to.

Any experiment like yours with the mutual consent of both of you, I guess is fine. But make sure that you constantly communicate with each other.

Experiments such as these can spill out insecurities, doubts, jealousies, mistrust and more.

So keep communicating with each other allowing the other person space to voice out their concerns and fears.

Everything is fine till one of you build fears and that’s when things start to go downhill. So, check in with each other regularly.

These experiments may spice up your sex life but relying on anything external can only be helpful to some extent.

Also, try spicing up your marriage between yourselves. There’s always room for more imagination and role playing and there is a load of material written on this as boredom in sex life is anyone’s challenge.

So, do give yourselves a fair chance to reinvent the game your way. Who knows, it might work!

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1771 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 27, 2023

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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am happily marrried for 11 years with no kids. This doesnt hamper our relationship and I wish to continue my life happily. Issue is i feel urge to chat with female friends, get into sexting and in a couple of instances got physical as well. In this process i have lost a few friends also as they did get intimate during the chat but later on felt guilty. I do not feel guilty. Me and my wife indulge in roleplays during foreplay and i am also open to be a cuckold during that. Sometimes she enjoys the talk of someone else but sometimes she gets turned off by it. I truely love her and would never leave her. But this habit of mine has cost me a few friends and i am afraid if she would come to know about this, it will destroy her emotionally which i do not want.
Ans: Dear Suraj,
Well, if both of you consent to this experimentation in the bedroom, alright...be happy! But, if she is not comfortable with something, then better to talk about it rather than push it any further. It's fun as long as both the partners enjoy it.
But, what seems to bother you is losing your friends due to intimate chats. Why are you indulging in it? Is it another form of experimentation? Is it an experience that serves you in a way that you can be closer to your wife?
Human beings do things that ultimately results in some form of gain to themselves. But if this is impacting your social circle, then it's time to understand that you must STOP!
Maybe what started off as harmless, turned into something more serious in your female friends and they feel guilty.
You might feel open and quiet fine with these intimate chats, but for them it doesn't end well and they have begun to move away from you. So, seriously turn this off and if you feel that this will hurt your wife, why then?
Making sense?

All the best! Do the wise thing!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11062 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 14, 2026

Money
I am 61, minimalist with no bad habits in the life style of NO PILL; NO ILL. Now, the market is down and NAV falls down. my investments are comfortably positive even in the negative market. becuase the investment started very early and unis purchased at very low price. Now, the question is should I withdraw the funds; a portion of profit and invest in the downward trend so that I will get more units and i will not loose the capital because I am planning to withdraw only the portion of the profits. Please guide me should I need to reshuffle by withdrawing and re investing ..!!
Ans: Your disciplined lifestyle and long investing journey are truly inspiring. Starting early and holding investments patiently has created a comfortable cushion for you. Even when the market is falling, your portfolio remains positive. That itself shows the power of long-term investing.

Now your question is about withdrawing profit and reinvesting during the market fall. Let us examine this carefully.

» Understanding What You Are Trying To Do

Your idea is:

– Withdraw only the profit portion
– Reinvest when NAV is lower
– Get more units
– Protect original capital

This approach looks logical on the surface. But in practice it becomes very difficult to execute consistently.

» The Challenge of Timing the Market

To succeed in this strategy two things must happen correctly.

– You must sell at the right time
– You must reinvest at the correct lower level

Predicting market movement precisely is extremely difficult. Even experienced investors struggle with this.

If markets suddenly recover after you redeem, you may lose the opportunity of further growth.

» Impact of Taxes on Withdrawal

Whenever you redeem equity mutual funds:

– Long term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh are taxed at 12.5%
– Short term capital gains are taxed at 20%

So withdrawing profit may trigger tax liability. This reduces the benefit of trying to buy more units.

Frequent reshuffling can quietly reduce long-term wealth.

» Your Age and Investment Objective

At 61, your goal should shift slightly.

Earlier the focus was:

– Maximum growth

Now the focus should be:

– Capital protection
– Controlled growth
– Income stability

So instead of frequent buying and selling, gradual portfolio balance is more suitable.

» A Better Approach for Your Situation

Rather than timing the market, consider this approach:

– Keep the core long-term equity investments untouched
– If equity allocation has grown very large, slowly shift small portion into safer assets
– Continue enjoying compounding from existing units purchased at low prices

This maintains growth while protecting accumulated wealth.

» Systematic Withdrawal Planning

If you need regular income later:

– You can withdraw small amounts periodically
– This reduces market timing risk
– Portfolio continues to grow while providing income

This is usually more comfortable for retired investors.

» Emotional Discipline

Your biggest strength so far has been patience.

The temptation to reshuffle during market movements often disturbs long-term success.

Many investors lose wealth not because of bad investments but because of unnecessary switching.

» Finally

Since your investments were made early and units were bought at very low prices, the best strategy is usually to stay invested and allow compounding to continue.

Avoid frequent profit booking and reinvestment based on market movements.

Instead:

– Maintain a balanced asset allocation
– Protect capital gradually
– Allow long-term equity investments to keep growing

Your disciplined journey has already created strong financial security. Preserving that strength is now more important than trying to capture short-term opportunities.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11062 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Mar 14, 2026

Money
I am a retired doctor with 1lac pension kindly suggest to invest 30000per month
Ans: Your disciplined habit of investing even after retirement is very encouraging. With a pension of Rs 1 lakh per month, planning to invest Rs 30,000 shows that you are thinking about preserving and growing your wealth in a structured manner.

At this stage of life, the focus should be balanced between safety, regular growth, and liquidity.

» Understanding Your Financial Stage

You are a retired professional receiving steady pension income.

This means:

– Your regular expenses are already supported
– Investment goal is wealth preservation and moderate growth
– Liquidity for health and family needs is important

So the investment approach should be balanced and not aggressive.

» Emergency and Medical Reserve

Before starting monthly investment, ensure:

– At least 12 months of expenses kept in safe liquid instruments
– Adequate health insurance coverage

Medical expenses increase with age. Having a dedicated medical reserve prevents disturbance to investments.

» Balanced Investment Approach

For a retired person, full equity exposure is not suitable. But avoiding equity completely also reduces growth.

A balanced structure is ideal.

For the Rs 30,000 monthly investment:

– Around Rs 15,000 in actively managed diversified equity mutual funds
– Around Rs 10,000 in short duration or conservative debt mutual funds
– Around Rs 5,000 in gold allocation for diversification

This structure provides growth with stability.

» Importance of Actively Managed Funds

Actively managed mutual funds are suitable because:

– Fund managers actively select strong companies
– They adjust portfolio when market conditions change
– Aim to generate better returns than the market

This professional management helps investors who prefer not to monitor markets regularly.

» Investment Horizon and Liquidity

Even after retirement, investments can continue for 10 to 15 years.

So:

– Continue SIP regularly
– Review portfolio once every year
– Keep sufficient liquidity for emergencies

Avoid locking large amounts into instruments with long lock-in periods.

» Tax Awareness

If you redeem equity mutual funds:

– Long term capital gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%
– Short term gains taxed at 20%

Debt mutual fund gains are taxed as per your income tax slab.

Planning withdrawals carefully can reduce tax impact.

» Finally

Your plan to invest Rs 30,000 monthly is a strong step toward maintaining financial independence.

A balanced portfolio with equity, debt, and gold can help:

– Preserve your wealth
– Provide moderate growth
– Maintain liquidity for future needs

Regular review with a Certified Financial Planner can ensure that your investments remain aligned with your lifestyle and health needs during retirement.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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