Dear Anu,
I would like to stay anonymous. I read your columns regularly and am located in USA.
My question is regarding me and my wife. We are very happy with each other and have a very healthy sex life (Almost 4-5 times a week).
We both are fond of sex and we like role playing and imaging various things. Recently we jokingly talked about me having sex with 2 ladies at the same time or she having sex with two men.
This curiosity led us to discover the world of swingers. After lot of discussions, we decided to visit a swingers’ club with some hesitation. But when we entered we were surprised to see a lot of people hanging out there. We found a cute couple who we interacted with and had our first swingers experience.
We both trust each other and enjoyed a lot seeing each other having fun with someone else. I believe this is basically due to the trust we have on each other.
We never had any experience after that as we cannot travel much due to our kids.
We think this experience has rejuvenated our sex life and kept us longing for more. We are more attached to each other than before. What are your views on this?

Hi, During sex with my wife I asked her that will she be ok with multiple partners to solve our sexual desires.Her inner heart says ok but she is scared of doing so.Not strangers but known circles.What is ur opinion I can convince her and how can we take it forward

I am 45 years old and my wife is 33 years old. we have been married for 5 years. my wife is sexually very active and wanting and though I want I am unable to perform and make her happy. She is very friendly with a colleague of hers who may be in his late 30s and my wife knows he is trying to advance sexually to her. many times she shows his messages where he praises her physical appearance explicitly. She doesn't positively respond to those messages and leaves with a smile. she often goes with him for lunch or a coffee. She introduced him to me once and I joined them for dinner outside. During that dinner, she asked my permission to sit with him and I sat opposite them. They sat as if they were a couple. Daily evening she usually shares some episodes like today he came to my floor and was standing in a corner with his friend but stealing glances at me etc. There is another colleague of hers who is a little older or maybe of my age. She regularly goes with him for tea inside her office cafeteria and spends 30 minutes daily. There was a little gossip about them also by colleagues but she used to say how she ignores them to meet that colleague daily. One another colleague of hers is a little younger than her. He flirts with her openly. He messaged her once let's see how can we progress romantically. He also messages her often about her physical attributes which she passes with smileys. She never stops them nor encourages them. She shows all the messages and seemingly doesn't delete any portion of it. The stories the messages the timelines everything matches and she doesn't hide anything from me is what I believe. All the above colleagues are from different departments and she has no direct official business with them. This being the scenario, I proposed to her an open marriage option. since I know very well that she is so emotionally attached to me as ours is a love marriage and our marriage will remain intact. I only wanted her physical desires to be met. I know she shares a very good, or we can say romantic equation with the first guy I asked her to get along with his advances and I am more than happy with being intimate with him or any one of her choice. She says to me that she doesn't want to do that. I believe that she thinks I may get hurt or she is afraid that should not lead her into a complicated relationship or even worse a debauchery. Not due to principles. At the same time, she enjoys continuing with them over coffee and messages. She neither stops them nor encourages them. My question is what exactly is in her mind? What should I do? I just don't want her to suffer a life without sex and at the same time I love her the most and I want my family to be intact.

In my marriage since the very inception my wife was and is still "sexually immature". I wonder if i am able to make you understand the situation. For the first nine years of marriage she simply resisted/avoided insertion, and finally after compelling her for counselling, etc. she gave in one day, so to say, which led to intercourse on a few occasions and she conceived. Almost 30 years down the line she was simply not interested in intercourse which has become extremely frustrating for me having a great libido. So i have become a man with a roving eye and perennially seek companionship/love/sex with the opposite sex. I wonder if i should feel guilty about it (however i don't feel guilty). As i am kind of personable and engage easily even at the ripe old age of 66, i continue to have a number of girl- friends (married/unmarried). In other words i flirt quite a bit, its become second nature to me. Girls in general take a liking to me too. Not that i am not friendly with my wife. We have a very loving relationship on a level which is not at all sexual. She keeps home very well and takes full care of me other than the sexual aspect. In other words sex is completely out of our relationship. You might not be seeing cases like this often. So i am always kind of sexually alive when i am out of the house. Now if you were to advise me to repair our relationship, take steps etc, i think we have kind of passed that stage primarily because she is peculiarly missing in the vital sex vibrations. I wonder if you understand me. I would like to have your views on all that i have explained. Shall be grateful to have some insights.

Hi Anu, I, 33 years old guy, working in corporate recently entered into an arranged marriage with a simple cultured girl who is also 33 years aold working in corporate, following a previous two-year relationship with another girl who was way hotter than my wife. Although my relationship with ex involved quite a bit of passion and physical chemistry, we had often found ourselves at odds when it came to other aspects of life, such as finances, careers, and family matters. Due to these differences, I chose to get into arranged marriage with the girl of my parents choice through the traditional arrangement process. After ex and I parted ways, she moved abroad to pursue her master's degree. Despite all this, ex and I have managed to maintain a friendship and remain in contact. It has been over seven months since my wife and I tied the knot, and we have been working on developing our sexual connection. To provide some context, here are a few reasons why this aspect of our relationship has been challenging: As my wife has never been in a sexual relationship before, she is not very experienced when it comes to expressing romance or fostering intimacy. Also, we are quite opposite to each other be it movie choices, eating habots, dressing sense, spiritual beliefs etc. I frequently find my thoughts drifting back to my past experiences with ex, which have led me to believe that I may never be able to recreate the same level of passion and excitement in my current relationship. While I used to be instantly aroused by ex, I hardly feel any sexual attraction for my wife. In last 7 months, we got physical only 7-8 times. However, the experience was not so great, and I am left feeling unsure about the future of our intimate relationship and navigating my feelings about my past relationship with ex. It's important to mention that, without a doubt, my wife surpasses ex in all other aspects of life, except for romance.