Mutual Fund Agent's Dilemma: Brother and Client Ignores Calls After New Year

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You win some, you lose some! That's life and you know it...

You seem to hold onto certain principles that are robbing you of good work. One can maintain their self-respect even by actually giving into certain demands from the clients provided it reflects well in your balance sheet.
The question to ask is:
Am I being too rigid on my principles that it has begun to work against me?
What can I do to maintain my self-respect and yet gain the trust of the clients?

You have done work in one particular way and it has worked for you till the time, the clients chose you. When you know that business or work is slipping out of your hands, ask yourself these two questions and know that it is possible to get work without compromising and still maintaining professional ethics.

So, deep dive into yourself and shake any rigid belief that is standing in your path and soften the belief in a way that you manage to work around it and still keeping your principles intact. Alternate ways of thinking can set you free...

All the best!

Ans: Hello Ms.
It's important to approach this with sensitivity and consideration for everyone involved. Understand that his family is a significant part of his life, and he may need time to adjust to the changes. Respect his commitments and responsibilities towards his family. Think about the long-term implications of the relationship. Consider whether it's sustainable in the current circumstances and whether it aligns with your personal values and priorities. Take some time to reflect on your own feelings and the dynamics of your relationship. Consider whether this situation is bringing you happiness and fulfillment, or if it's causing you distress. Establish clear boundaries in your relationship to ensure that both of you are comfortable and that these boundaries are respected. If he is feeling overwhelmed or stressed with the recent changes in his family situation, it might be helpful to give him some space. Encourage open communication make sure you both are on the same page about the nature of your relationship and the level of communication you both desire.Be prepared for the possibility that the relationship may need to change or come to an end. Reflect on your own priorities and boundaries. Ensure that your relationship doesn't negatively impact your personal and professional life. It's essential to maintain a healthy balance and focus on your own well-being. While this can be difficult, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and the well-being of everyone involved.

Ans: Dear Friend,

It’s never easy to see a close relationship change, especially when you’ve shared such a strong bond over the years. Friendships, like any other relationships, go through ups and downs. Let’s take a step back and understand what might be happening, and explore ways to address it.

Possible Reasons for the Change
Misunderstanding:
It seems your friend may have felt unsupported during his property purchase decision. While your caution was well-meaning, he might have interpreted it as hesitation or lack of trust in his judgment.

Life Changes:
Settling abroad and adjusting to a new life can be overwhelming. Sometimes, people unintentionally drift apart while navigating new environments and responsibilities.

Emotional Guard:
His formal and distant behavior might indicate hurt feelings or a belief that the friendship has become strained. Instead of addressing the issue openly, he might be avoiding confrontation.

Steps to Rebuild the Friendship
Acknowledge and Address the Situation:
Send a heartfelt message where you acknowledge the distance between you both and express your willingness to understand and resolve it. For example:

“I’ve noticed we’ve been distant lately, and I really value our friendship. If I’ve done or said something to hurt you, I’d like to understand and make things right.”

Clarify Your Intentions:
If the property issue is at the root of the problem, explain your perspective. Share that your intention was to be cautious and protect him from potential risks, not to let him down.

Respect His Space:
While it’s important to reach out, avoid overwhelming him with too many calls or messages. Give him time to process and respond.

Reconnect Gradually:
Try rekindling the friendship in a lighter, more neutral way. Share a funny memory, an old photo, or an update about your life that might spark a natural conversation.

Lean on Common Friends:
If you have mutual friends, they can sometimes act as bridges in such situations. They might also provide insight into what your friend is feeling.

Prepare for All Outcomes:
Sometimes, despite our best efforts, people choose to move on for reasons of their own. If he remains distant, remember the good times you’ve shared and focus on maintaining the friendships that continue to nurture and support you.

A Gentle Perspective
Friendships, especially those that have lasted through tough times, are precious. But they also evolve as people grow and change. If your friend is currently unable to reciprocate your efforts, it doesn’t mean the bond you shared was meaningless. It simply means that both of you might be in different places emotionally or geographically right now.

Give it time, approach the situation with understanding, and keep your heart open. A true friendship often finds its way back, even after temporary distances.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal