Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Shalini

Shalini Singh  |80 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Feb 14, 2023

Shalini Singh is the founder of andwemet, an online matchmaking service for urban Indians living in India and overseas. After graduating from college as a kindergarten teacher, Singh worked at various firms specialising in marketing strategy, digital marketing and public relations before finding her niche as an entrepreneur. In 2008, she founded Galvanise PR, an independent communications and public relations. In 2019, she launched andwemet.
... more
Asked by Anonymous - Feb 13, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

Dear Ms Shalini, what are some of the qualities to look for while searching for a partner online? Also, what are the red flags and how to identify them?

Ans: Here are 3 steps to guide you if you looking to find someone online - https://blogs.andwemet.com/how-to-find-a-partner-online/ do let me know if you wish to discuss any in detail.

Red Flags differ from people to people - you need to know what are your deal breakers and if you find that in someone you need to decide if you wish to take the discussion ahead. As for identifying them, its easy to if you invest in observing and listening vs overthinking.

Having said the above - some Nos in a relationship are - being rude, disrespectful, aggressive, not open to feedback or listening. Many do not realise this behaviour till they are in a relationship...so if you meet someone wonderful who has these qualities, bring it up. If they work on them you have hit a jackpot, if they do not, you know you need to scoot as soon as possible :)

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |227 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 17, 2023

Listen
Relationship
Why it is so that all dating websites have fake profiles or crooks are available instead of genuine common people who can interact and do friendship. OR how can we identify the fake profiles etc.? or is there any genuine dating site with profiles duly verified? Pl. advice.
Ans: Dear A,

It is true that a small portion of deviants make it through the air-tight security that most dating apps provide, but it wouldn't be right to say that there are no genuine people who are interested in interacting or being friends. In fact, a large majority of our users are in the app seeking friendship.

Here and there, you might find some spammy profiles that got through, despite a dating app’s best efforts. Report any suspicious profile as soon as you recognize them as fake users; I assure you that most dating apps take prompt action after checking the genuinity of the report.

Here are some ways to identify a fake profile:

• While some people do not put up their own pictures due to privacy issues, there will be at least a picture of an animal, some random scenery, or wallpapers. But a profile that has a blank space for a display image is more likely a fake one.
• Beware of suspicious first messages with a user directly sharing their number.
• Let's say, you have been talking to someone. If you notice inconsistencies in their stories, it might be a fake profile. Even if they aren't one, it's best not to be in contact with people starting a relationship with lies.
• Financial talks- discussing money or asking for money- during the chatting phase is a big red flag.

Hope this helps.

..Read more

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |97 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 06, 2023

Listen
Relationship
Dear Relationship Guru, I have been looking for lifepartner since many years through online matrinony sites but still single.All these years have been stressful because of not coming across right kind of people.Tried seeking assistance through relatives etc networks but they either suggested non-preferences candidates which only resulted in clash between myself and parents because of differences of opinion and choices or they didn't helped at all.In short,nothing worked out till date.Could you please advise regarding my situation?
Ans: I understand that finding the right life partner can be a challenging and sometimes frustrating process. Here are a few suggestions that may help you in your search:

Expand your social circle: In addition to online matrimonial sites, try to meet new people through various social activities, events, or interest-based groups. This can increase your chances of meeting someone who shares your values and interests.

Be clear about your preferences: Take some time to reflect on the qualities and values that are important to you in a life partner. Consider what you are looking for in terms of personality, values, interests, and goals. Being clear about your preferences can help you filter potential matches and communicate your expectations effectively.

Communicate openly with your parents: It's important to have open and honest conversations with your parents about your preferences and choices. Help them understand your perspective and the reasons behind your preferences. This can help minimize misunderstandings and conflicts between you and your parents.

Seek professional assistance: Consider working with a professional matchmaker or a relationship counselor who specializes in helping individuals find suitable life partners. They can provide guidance, support, and valuable insights into the matchmaking process.

Take breaks when needed: Sometimes, taking a break from actively seeking a life partner can be beneficial. Focus on self-improvement, personal growth, and pursuing your own interests and passions. When you feel ready, you can resume your search with a refreshed mindset.

Stay positive and patient: It's important to maintain a positive attitude throughout the process. Remember that finding a life partner takes time, and it's not uncommon to face challenges and rejections along the way. Patience and perseverance are key. Stay hopeful and trust that the right person will come into your life when the timing is right.

Work on self-improvement: Use this time to invest in yourself and work on becoming the best version of yourself. Focus on personal growth, develop new skills, pursue your passions, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Building a strong sense of self can attract like-minded individuals and contribute to a healthier and more successful relationship.

Remember, finding the right life partner is a process that takes time and effort. It's important to stay positive, maintain an open mind, and be proactive in your search. By taking these steps and remaining patient, you increase your chances of finding a compatible life partner who shares your values and goals.

..Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |227 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 24, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am in my 40s and trying to find love online. I notice that a lot of people online are not serious about relationships. How do I filter through profiles and find genuine ones? I am not looking for one night stands. Matrimony apps are usually monitored by parents. How do I filter these challenges and find someone I can spend my life with?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that dating in your 40s can be challenging given that you are ready to settle and most people you meet are still exploring their options before finally settling down. With a strategic approach, you can increase the chances of finding genuine connections.

1) Craft a thoughtful and detailed profile that reflects your values and relationship goals. Make sure to mention what you want and what you have to offer in the BIO to attract people whose preference aligns with yours.
2) While browsing through profiles, pay attention to the content of their bios. You can learn a lot about people from it.
3) Once you find a match, make sure to be clear with your intention to steer away anyone looking for a casual relationship.
4) Choose your dating app carefully. There are apps that cater to daters looking for casual flings and then there are apps that are mostly for serious daters.

Also, remember that patience is key; finding a life partner takes time. You can be selective but not so much that you restrict yourself from having a good time while finding a life partner. Dating should not feel like a business deal; if it does, you are doing it wrong.

Best Wishes!

..Read more

Latest Questions
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |248 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am about 68 year's I have two sons who are married via arranged process. My younger son's wife is educated teacher. But she had a torturous up bring during high school days. Leading to least interest in married life after marriage. She deserted my son soon after marriage. This led to break down in marriage now heading for a divorce. Please advise.
Ans: It sounds like a deeply painful situation for everyone involved, especially considering the emotional trauma your daughter-in-law experienced during her formative years.

It's important to recognize that individuals who have gone through traumatic experiences in their youth can carry emotional wounds that affect their relationships later in life. These scars may manifest in ways that make it difficult for them to fully engage in marital life or maintain a healthy relationship.

In situations like these, it’s crucial to approach with empathy and understanding. Your daughter-in-law’s decision to desert your son and pursue divorce likely stems from her own internal struggles and emotional turmoil. It’s not a reflection of your son’s worth or efforts within the marriage.

Moving forward, it might be helpful for your son to focus on his own healing and well-being. Encouraging him to seek support from friends, family, or a professional counselor can provide him with a safe space to process his emotions and navigate this challenging transition.

As a family, offering unconditional support and empathy to both your son and daughter-in-law can create an environment where healing and understanding can begin. It’s important to respect each individual’s journey and decisions while also recognizing the need for compassion during this difficult time.

...Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |248 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 19, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Hi, I am 40 yr old woman. I am staying with my husband who always doubt me without any reason. As he is dependent on me. He is jobless from last 5 yr. I am the only earning person I don't have any type of attitude. While balancing professional as well as personal life I use to listen his bitter words every day. Not only that he started beating me like anything Just coz of so-called reputation I tolerate him. But 7 months back I came across with a man in my life we both started liking each other, I shared everything with him. But he left his job due to some issues with manager and started working somewhere else. He started ignoring me. Please help me out to understand what is right and wrong in this?
Ans: Balancing the pressures of professional life with the strain of an abusive marriage is a heavy burden, and you deserve to feel safe, respected, and valued.

Your husband's behavior—doubting you without cause, subjecting you to daily verbal abuse, and physically harming you—is deeply troubling and completely unacceptable. It's important to acknowledge that no matter the circumstances, you do not deserve to be treated this way. The fear of societal judgment and concerns about reputation are common reasons people stay in harmful relationships, but your well-being and safety are far more important than maintaining appearances.

Meeting someone who offers emotional support when you’re in such a painful situation is understandable. It’s natural to seek comfort and a connection when you're feeling isolated and mistreated. However, the new man's recent behavior, where he started ignoring you after changing jobs, might feel like another layer of abandonment. This is especially tough because you opened up and shared your struggles with him, hoping for understanding and companionship.

In terms of what’s right and wrong, it's essential to focus on your needs and well-being. Staying in an abusive relationship is harmful to your physical and emotional health. You have the right to seek safety and happiness. The relationship with the new man might have provided temporary emotional relief, but it seems he's not able to be the supportive presence you hoped for, especially now when he’s pulling away.
Right now, focus on what you need to feel safe and supported. Consider reaching out to trusted friends, family, or professional services who can help you navigate this challenging time. You deserve a life free from fear and filled with respect and care. Prioritizing your own happiness and safety is the most important step forward.

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |551 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |551 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jun 20, 2024

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x