Dear Ms Shalini, what are some of the qualities to look for while searching for a partner online? Also, what are the red flags and how to identify them?

Ans: Dear A,

It is true that a small portion of deviants make it through the air-tight security that most dating apps provide, but it wouldn't be right to say that there are no genuine people who are interested in interacting or being friends. In fact, a large majority of our users are in the app seeking friendship.

Here and there, you might find some spammy profiles that got through, despite a dating app’s best efforts. Report any suspicious profile as soon as you recognize them as fake users; I assure you that most dating apps take prompt action after checking the genuinity of the report.

Here are some ways to identify a fake profile:

• While some people do not put up their own pictures due to privacy issues, there will be at least a picture of an animal, some random scenery, or wallpapers. But a profile that has a blank space for a display image is more likely a fake one.
• Beware of suspicious first messages with a user directly sharing their number.
• Let's say, you have been talking to someone. If you notice inconsistencies in their stories, it might be a fake profile. Even if they aren't one, it's best not to be in contact with people starting a relationship with lies.
• Financial talks- discussing money or asking for money- during the chatting phase is a big red flag.

Hope this helps.

Ans: I understand that finding the right life partner can be a challenging and sometimes frustrating process. Here are a few suggestions that may help you in your search:

Expand your social circle: In addition to online matrimonial sites, try to meet new people through various social activities, events, or interest-based groups. This can increase your chances of meeting someone who shares your values and interests.

Be clear about your preferences: Take some time to reflect on the qualities and values that are important to you in a life partner. Consider what you are looking for in terms of personality, values, interests, and goals. Being clear about your preferences can help you filter potential matches and communicate your expectations effectively.

Communicate openly with your parents: It's important to have open and honest conversations with your parents about your preferences and choices. Help them understand your perspective and the reasons behind your preferences. This can help minimize misunderstandings and conflicts between you and your parents.

Seek professional assistance: Consider working with a professional matchmaker or a relationship counselor who specializes in helping individuals find suitable life partners. They can provide guidance, support, and valuable insights into the matchmaking process.

Take breaks when needed: Sometimes, taking a break from actively seeking a life partner can be beneficial. Focus on self-improvement, personal growth, and pursuing your own interests and passions. When you feel ready, you can resume your search with a refreshed mindset.

Stay positive and patient: It's important to maintain a positive attitude throughout the process. Remember that finding a life partner takes time, and it's not uncommon to face challenges and rejections along the way. Patience and perseverance are key. Stay hopeful and trust that the right person will come into your life when the timing is right.

Work on self-improvement: Use this time to invest in yourself and work on becoming the best version of yourself. Focus on personal growth, develop new skills, pursue your passions, and engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Building a strong sense of self can attract like-minded individuals and contribute to a healthier and more successful relationship.

Remember, finding the right life partner is a process that takes time and effort. It's important to stay positive, maintain an open mind, and be proactive in your search. By taking these steps and remaining patient, you increase your chances of finding a compatible life partner who shares your values and goals.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that dating in your 40s can be challenging given that you are ready to settle and most people you meet are still exploring their options before finally settling down. With a strategic approach, you can increase the chances of finding genuine connections.

1) Craft a thoughtful and detailed profile that reflects your values and relationship goals. Make sure to mention what you want and what you have to offer in the BIO to attract people whose preference aligns with yours.
2) While browsing through profiles, pay attention to the content of their bios. You can learn a lot about people from it.
3) Once you find a match, make sure to be clear with your intention to steer away anyone looking for a casual relationship.
4) Choose your dating app carefully. There are apps that cater to daters looking for casual flings and then there are apps that are mostly for serious daters.

Also, remember that patience is key; finding a life partner takes time. You can be selective but not so much that you restrict yourself from having a good time while finding a life partner. Dating should not feel like a business deal; if it does, you are doing it wrong.

Best Wishes!

Ans: Date a few girls... Then you'll know what you like, what you don't.. and then you can decide what you want..

Ans: Hi Sachin,

I understand that dating can sometimes be very frustrating. You have every right to start wondering whether it will work or not. Since you have already tried dating apps and even had a positive experience, I would ask you to recognize that as a win first. Second, let me share some tips with you that might help you find the right kind of matches:

- Write a detailed and attractive Bio. What should it include? 40% about yourself- your education, your quirks and habits, likes and preferences, and everything that makes you you. 10% about what you can offer as a partner. 10% about the type of relationship you want. Do you want to date exclusively, or are you looking for casual? Are you looking to get married or long-term dating? Mention it clearly to attract the right matches. The remaining 40% should be about the kind of person you want to date. Your idea of a perfect partner. It would save you a lot of time and energy on the relationships that start strong but eventually fizzle out.

- The display picture can play an important role. Always pick a recent and clear image to never mislead anyone. Choose an image that shows you in your element, preferably smiling because that makes you seem warm and welcoming. Refrain from over-editing.

- Another important step is the first message. Write a detailed and personalized first message instead of a Hi.

Other than this, I would ask you to have patience. Regardless of the mode of dating, finding the right partner can take time in certain instances. Good things take time.

Best Wishes.