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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |416 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Nov 24, 2023

Ravi Mittal is an expert on dating and relationships.
He founded QuackQuack, an online dating platform, in 2010 with just two people. Today, it has over 20 million users in India.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 03, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I am in my 40s and trying to find love online. I notice that a lot of people online are not serious about relationships. How do I filter through profiles and find genuine ones? I am not looking for one night stands. Matrimony apps are usually monitored by parents. How do I filter these challenges and find someone I can spend my life with?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I understand that dating in your 40s can be challenging given that you are ready to settle and most people you meet are still exploring their options before finally settling down. With a strategic approach, you can increase the chances of finding genuine connections.

1) Craft a thoughtful and detailed profile that reflects your values and relationship goals. Make sure to mention what you want and what you have to offer in the BIO to attract people whose preference aligns with yours.
2) While browsing through profiles, pay attention to the content of their bios. You can learn a lot about people from it.
3) Once you find a match, make sure to be clear with your intention to steer away anyone looking for a casual relationship.
4) Choose your dating app carefully. There are apps that cater to daters looking for casual flings and then there are apps that are mostly for serious daters.

Also, remember that patience is key; finding a life partner takes time. You can be selective but not so much that you restrict yourself from having a good time while finding a life partner. Dating should not feel like a business deal; if it does, you are doing it wrong.

Best Wishes!

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Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Apr 17, 2023

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Why it is so that all dating websites have fake profiles or crooks are available instead of genuine common people who can interact and do friendship. OR how can we identify the fake profiles etc.? or is there any genuine dating site with profiles duly verified? Pl. advice.
Ans: Dear A,

It is true that a small portion of deviants make it through the air-tight security that most dating apps provide, but it wouldn't be right to say that there are no genuine people who are interested in interacting or being friends. In fact, a large majority of our users are in the app seeking friendship.

Here and there, you might find some spammy profiles that got through, despite a dating app’s best efforts. Report any suspicious profile as soon as you recognize them as fake users; I assure you that most dating apps take prompt action after checking the genuinity of the report.

Here are some ways to identify a fake profile:

• While some people do not put up their own pictures due to privacy issues, there will be at least a picture of an animal, some random scenery, or wallpapers. But a profile that has a blank space for a display image is more likely a fake one.
• Beware of suspicious first messages with a user directly sharing their number.
• Let's say, you have been talking to someone. If you notice inconsistencies in their stories, it might be a fake profile. Even if they aren't one, it's best not to be in contact with people starting a relationship with lies.
• Financial talks- discussing money or asking for money- during the chatting phase is a big red flag.

Hope this helps.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |416 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Aug 08, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 07, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Hello Gurus! I am 40 yr divorced NRI man in the UK. I have a 10 yr old son and he lives with his mum in a different country. I have visitation rights and I meet him regularly. I have been divorced for 6 years now. I have been trying to date since last 5 years and it has been quite a frustrating experience. I do not want to jump to Matrimonial Sites as I would prefer to date someone to know them better before deciding to settle in a committed relationship. Also, there are many frauds on the Matrimonial Sites. My challenge is that most of the single women in the age range of 36 – 42 that I have met in last 5 yrs is that either they have unstable career and looking for someone to depend upon or if they have a career, they are arrogant and unruly. Though I look decent, I don’t have looks as a criteria. I worry sometimes if will I ever find love and affection in my life. Apart from the dating apps, where else do you suggest I could try to meet decent and normal woman?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,

I hear your concern but I don't think it has anything to do with the mode of dating. Online or IRL, rude people will continue to be rude everywhere. Also, not everyone with a stable career is arrogant and unruly, men and women alike.

Apart from dating apps, you can try finding love IRL. You can try going to clubs, cafes, or social gatherings to meet like-minded women. Or you can ask your friends to set you up with someone who matches your criteria. You can join some activity of your liking to find women who prefer the same things as you. Start with a HI and see where it goes.

You can find a decent human being even in a dating app. It is a matter of patience, a pinch of luck, and primarily a good amount of effort from your end. To get better results, try mentioning your intents in your bio; for instance, you want to date and then move on to marriage- mention the same in your bio to attract the right kind of people.


Best Wishes!

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Latest Questions
Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3908 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 15, 2024

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Career
I have completed my bsc nursing and have one year of experience in india. There's offer from my miles talent hub to do 1 year stem program in usa and then 3 year work visa will be granted. Should i do that or there's is better opportunities for me to do.
Ans: Miles Talent Hub's offer to go to the US for a year to do a STEM program and then stay for three years on a work visa could be a good chance, especially if you want to work and travel abroad and advance your career. Before you decide, here are some things to think about:

If you go to a STEM school in the US, especially in a field like healthcare, you might be able to find new job opportunities in advanced medical technologies, research, or management that you might not be able to find in India. It's possible that the 3-year work visa will help you learn about the global healthcare industry while also letting you make money.

Effects on your finances and your life: Studying abroad can be pricey, so make sure you look at all of the costs, such as tuition, living costs, and any scholarships or other financial help that might be available. Think about whether you can handle being away from home for a long time.

Opportunities in India: The United States has a lot of great opportunities, but India also has room to grow, especially since the need for healthcare workers is growing. In India, look for job openings, higher education programs, or specialized certifications that could help you move up in your business. Think about where you want to be in 5 to 10 years. This could be a good first step if you want to grow in a foreign setting or go to school abroad to study nursing or healthcare management. All the BEST for Your Prosperous Future.

To know more on ‘ Careers | Education | Jobs’, ask / follow Us here in RediffGURUS.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |402 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 15, 2024

Relationship
Hello I am a 40 year old married female. Off late I started feeling attracted to my married Male Friend of last 5 years. I love my husband a lot and can never think of betraying him. But I feel happy in the company of this friend of mine. He sort of has the qualities i always wanted from my husband and as we all know not everyone can possess every quality. I was aware about his liking towards me like he used to flirt with me someway or other also recently he admitted the same to me that he likes me since our first meeting. As we are family friends and stay in the same building, we keep meeting often with family and sometimes only two of us as we like spending time talking to each other. In our recent visit we hugged each other in the rush of emotions. We both got just blown away by the surreal feeling. We admitted the same to each other. After this meeting we kept messaging each other the whole day and so on for next few days and suddenly one day he said he fears this might ruin our family friendship and started ignoring and maintaining distance, he stopped messaging or calling me without discussing anything. But now I am attracted to him so much that I can not take his absence or apathy towards me and want to have cordial relations like we were before, when it was not vocal between us that we like each other. I am not able to adjust to the fact that the person who used to admire and respect me so much and wanted to have a lifelong friendship can become suddenly so distant. I want an advise whether I am wrong in expecting atleast a normal relation like friendship to continue between us. As we have never crossed our boundaries and hugging once will not count as betrayal. Please guide I want him back as before.
Ans: a close relationship with someone outside your marriage, especially when emotions are involved, introduces challenges. You’re aware of this already, and it seems your friend has also recognized the complexities, likely explaining his sudden need for distance. Often, when feelings come to the surface, they carry a weight that makes people reconsider their boundaries to protect the larger relationships at play—in this case, both of your marriages and family dynamics. This pullback doesn’t negate his admiration or the value he places on your friendship but rather reflects the reality of the situation and the need to guard against further complications.

You might find it helpful to explore what exactly you’re drawn to in your friend’s qualities. It could be that he reflects an aspect of yourself you wish to bring into your own relationship. Identifying these qualities is powerful, as it can help you shape a conversation with your husband, potentially bringing deeper fulfillment to your marriage. Many couples find new dimensions in their relationship when they openly discuss what they yearn for and ways to bring those qualities to life together. While it may feel challenging, these conversations can foster intimacy and growth.

It’s also worth noting that maintaining your friend’s respect and allowing him space is likely the best way to preserve your connection long-term, even if it feels painful right now. His distance might ultimately help both of you return to a place of friendship, but pushing for that too soon might complicate things further. In the meantime, remember that it’s natural to feel a loss or a longing for a friend’s company when circumstances shift. Practicing self-compassion and care can be grounding during times like this, as can seeking other outlets for support, such as close friends, hobbies, or moments of solitude that allow you to process your emotions.

Time and patience may help bring this friendship back to a more natural and comfortable place, but focusing on your marriage and yourself will allow you to stay true to your values and find a sense of peace, regardless of the ultimate outcome with your friend.

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Milind

Milind Vadjikar  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Insurance, Stocks, MF, PF Expert - Answered on Nov 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Money
Hi Sir, I'm 43+, My Monthly take home is around 3.40 Lacs, Currently i have invested in Shares (Current Portfolio is around 1.40 Crs). EMI is around 1.2 lacs P/m (Home loan 1 - 50K per month till 2037, 30K car loan till 2027 (Planning to close this year by paying 13 lacs, please suggest if this option of preclosure is good or EMI is good, will be paying this amount by selling some shares), 30k per month of home 2 till 2040., Last year i have started investing in SIP 1 lacs P/M, and balance 1.20 lacs goes in house, kids education expense. Have EPF balance of 40 lacs as on date. As mentioned above recently i have started investing in SIP (From Oct 2023 onwards), which is at the tune of 1 lacs per month. SIP are Franklin India Prima Fund regular Plan - Growth - 25K, ICICI Prudential Small cap fund retail plan G - 25K, Kotak Multicap fund regular plan growth - 15K, DSP Blackrock mid cap fund regular plan growth - 10 K, and Parag Parikh Flexi Cap fund - Regular plan growth - 25 K. Will increase the SIP investment by 10% every year going forward. Sir, My question is with current SIP and shares investment will i be able to generate 10~12 Cr corpus fund by retirement (Assuming that i will be in Job and working for next 15 years). Current Share portfolio is for long term investment only (assuming i get 12~15% of return every year). Please note : will be spending around 60~70 Lacs for my Son education in engineering from 2027 to 2031, 50% will be spend from savings and balance 50% from education loan. Current value of house 1 - 1.35 Cr (EMI is 50K), House 2 Current Value is 82 Lacs (EMI is 30K).
Ans: Hello;

Kudos for holding judicious blend of assets in equity(stocks and MFs), real estate, EPF.

Your thought process is absolutely spot on. You should prepay the car loan through shares corpus and close the EMI.

If you maintain monthly sip of 1 L with yearly top-up of 10% for 15 years then you may accumulate a corpus of around 8.68 Cr.

Stock holding of 1.27 Cr(13 L considered to be deducted for car loan prepayment) is expected to grow into a sum of 5.31 Cr in 15 years.

EPF balance of 40 L will grow into a corpus of 1.27 Cr over 15 years. Fresh contributions, if any, will be bonus.

So cumulatively your total corpus at the end of 15 years from now will be 8.68+5.31+1.27=15.26 Cr.

Due to your sound financial planning you may not need education loan for son's education.

Modest return of 12%, 10% and 8% are considered from mutual funds, direct stocks and EPF respectively.

Happy Investing;

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Dr Shyam

Dr Shyam Jamalabad  |79 Answers  |Ask -

Dentist - Answered on Nov 15, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Nov 14, 2024Hindi
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Health
Doctor, could you kindly recommend specific brands of toothpaste suitable for children of different age groups? I’m particularly interested in knowing which brands would best support their dental health at various stages of development, considering factors like fluoride content, flavor, and overall safety. Could you provide guidance on which options are most effective for toddlers, young children, and older kids?
Ans: Hello
For toddlers and young children, it's essential to choose a toothpaste that is safe and effective for their developing teeth and gums. Here are some recommendations:

1. *Fluoride-free toothpaste* (0-2 years): For infants and toddlers, a fluoride-free toothpaste is recommended. Look for a toothpaste specifically designed for this age group, like "Baby Toothpaste" or "Training Toothpaste". Please note that Fluoride, although extremely beneficial when used locally can lead to fluorosis if accidentally ingested. This is the reason toddlers need to use fluoride-free toothpastes.

2. *Children's toothpaste with low fluoride* (2-6 years): For young children, a toothpaste with a low fluoride concentration (around 500-600 ppm) is suitable. This helps prevent fluorosis (white spots on teeth) while still providing cavity protection.

3. *Gentle ingredients*: Opt for a toothpaste with gentle ingredients, to minimize irritation.

5. *Flavor and texture*: Select a toothpaste with a child-friendly flavor and texture to make brushing teeth a fun experience!

Most popular toothpaste brands offer multiple options for toddlers and young children.
In addition to these there are a few brands specially formulated for children which are ethically promoted (not commercially advertised, but sold through chemists on dentists' prescriptions) You may speak to your child's dentist for specific recommendations.

Remember to always supervise your child while brushing teeth and teach them proper oral hygiene habits from an early age!

...Read more

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