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Busy CA Daughter-in-Law: Feeling Overwhelmed by Household Chores and Tense MIL

Kanchan Rai |571 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 08, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 08, 2024Hindi

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I am a CA, and I dont have much time or I dont somewhere like doing household chores but still my mother in law wants me to manage all household chores with office and studies. She only has to cook other household chores are done by me, still she is upset all the time, she never seems happy, the aura around her is very negative all the time. I try to be normal she never. What to do? Should I hire a cook and maid so that we both can relax.

Ans: It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of stress trying to balance your professional responsibilities with household chores, especially with the added pressure from your mother-in-law. It's important to address this situation in a way that maintains harmony at home while also ensuring you don't burn out.

First, have a calm and honest conversation with your mother-in-law. Explain how your work and studies demand a lot of your time and energy, and that you're finding it difficult to manage everything. Emphasize that it's not about shirking responsibilities but about finding a balance that works for everyone.

Suggest hiring a cook and a maid. This solution can help alleviate the workload for both of you, allowing your mother-in-law to relax and potentially improve her mood and overall atmosphere at home. Present it as a way to create a more peaceful and supportive environment, which can benefit both of you.

If she’s resistant, try to understand her concerns. She might feel that hiring help undermines her role or that it’s an unnecessary expense. Reassure her that the goal is to reduce stress and create a happier home, not to replace her or diminish her contributions.

In the meantime, take care of your well-being. Stress from work, studies, and household chores can take a toll on your mental and physical health. Ensure you have time for rest and relaxation, even if it means taking small breaks throughout the day.

Ultimately, finding a compromise that acknowledges both your needs and your mother-in-law’s feelings is key. This approach can help foster a more positive and supportive environment for everyone.

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Kanchan Rai |571 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 30, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 30, 2023Hindi

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I have been married for one year. My mother in law has no respect in her talking towards me. She expects me to do all the household things and she doesn't want her daughter to do any kitchen works. Most of the time I feel like she made her son marry me just to do household things. I don't need any appreciation but I can't bear her disrespectful words. And her cunning character and lies. What can I do in such situations

Ans: Dealing with a challenging mother-in-law can be a delicate situation, but it's important to address these concerns to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse and in-lawsStart by discussing your feelings with your spouse. Share your concerns about your mother-in-law's behavior and how it's affecting you. Ensure that you both are on the same page before addressing the issue with her. When you decide to talk to your mother-in-law, pick a calm and private setting. Avoid confrontations in the heat of the moment, and try to have a rational conversation. Clearly and calmly communicate how her words and actions make you feel. Use "I" statements to express your emotions without blaming her Make it clear what behavior is unacceptable and establish boundaries. Politely but firmly communicate what you are willing and unwilling to tolerate in terms of comments and expectations. If direct communication doesn't yield positive results, consider involving a neutral third party, a trusted family member, to mediate the conversation. Strengthen your relationship with your spouse and build a support system with friends and other family members. Having a strong network can provide emotional support during challenging times. Remember, it may take time to see changes, and it's essential to approach the situation with patience and understanding. Every family dynamic is unique, and finding the right balance may require ongoing effort and communication.

Kanchan Rai |571 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 04, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 18, 2024Hindi

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Hi, I am a 29 year old married women with a 1yr old baby girl. I am married to a lovable family. I live with my husband, MIL, FIL & SIL(youngwr to me and she is unmarried). I dont have any major issues with my inlaws. Mine is a arrange marriage. But Gods grace i got a good loving husband and inlaw fly. I was born in a middle class family buy highly pampered by parents but waa made grown to adjust, love, and respect everyone. I was very independent before marriage. I used to do what all i want But i an very sensitive. After marriage everything was going good. I was working and all household chores was done by MIL and she never asks or expects me to do even if i ask. Btw i dont know cooking except basic items. I was comitted to work later resigned my job after conceving. And baby born...etc everything was good. My mil was working initially when i got married and now she took vrs and is at home. Me also looking after baby and at home. Till now she doesnt allow me to do any work. If i ask also she says me to take rest and look after baby.whole day i have to look baby and ther is no work for me to do. She herself cooks, cleans vessels put laundry even our laundry. I feel like i want to cook do work she will immediately come and she will do it. That too she will say very sweetly. The thing is she doesnt want to hurt me as she sufferen a lot with her MIL. But this also make me worse without doing any work. It tiring to ask her everytine shall i cook today shall i do this that but she says i will do you take rest which make to think oh we dont have right itseems. Its her kitchen. I feel like sometimes i want to prepare anything for my husband or myself but can. Whenever i step inside kitchen my mil comes and looks and asks what i am doing. Like i feel that i am not independant. Also my FIL only buys groceries even that also she will only arrange. Very rarely i will say i wanted to do. But each and everytimr i cant keep asking. Its very tough only to look after my kid and not to have any work at home. Like this made me to long for having my own kitchen my own way of bying arranging this doing my household wok etc... also privacyyy plays. Even thou we had no issues directly....there is some gap within in laws ans me .. where they dont treat me as one of their fly. My mil keeps a distance. She doesnt want to dependant on me. Whenever i ask something to her like to help her she says she wants no help but later asks her daughter which make me sad. But i treat her like my mom but she keeps a distance which eventually made me to make distance with her. I could not be myself with her. We talk communicate be in safe roof no issues so far but i feel insecured. Like being in a cage. Now i feel like moving out ans starting ny owb fly. But this was not my intention. But stituation making me to think. Everything mil wants to take control. I could not even cook anything for my husband. Rather that this nothing hurts me. My mil is not bad she is overprotecting me. How to let know that i also need some me time from looking after baby so that i can do what i like like cooking, cleaning, vessel washing etc.

Ans: The key here is communication, but in a gentle and understanding way. You can express your gratitude for all the care and support your mother-in-law has provided while also sharing how important it is for you to feel more involved. Let her know that you want to be an active part of the household, whether it's cooking, cleaning, or managing some of the family responsibilities. You can explain that having that involvement helps you feel fulfilled and independent, and it's also part of what makes you happy as a wife and mother.

Rather than framing it as something she's doing wrong, approach the conversation from a place of mutual respect. It's clear that she wants what's best for you, so if you express how this would benefit you emotionally, she might be more open to giving you the space to do what you enjoy. Be patient, as it may take time for her to adjust, but creating a balance where you have some ownership over your daily life will likely help you feel more secure and at ease.

Anu Krishna |1576 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2025Hindi

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My father in law dislikes my cooking. My husband also feels I can learn a thing or two from my mother in law. Honestly, I am not passionate about cooking or household chores. I can make my tea, fold my clothes, keep my room organised. Beyond that I cannot contribute because I also have a day job. I don't like being compared to other women who can cook, clean, do the dishes and also manage their work. This conversation always leads to arguments at home. What should I do?

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Integrate yourself well into the family; showing interest in cooking and actually doing it are two different things. At times, family members just end up testing you through what you do or not do. Showing interest and in fact praising you mother-in-law and actually learning a dish or two the way she makes it isn't going to hurt you or put a dent in your work life. In fact, they will appreciate that you tried and leave you alone.
Going on a tangent to prove that you have a day job and that you don't like to be compared etc leads to unwanted conversations and arguments. But what is it getting you other than putting you on a spotlight where they target you again. Instead take the spotlight off of you by integrating better; they will leave you alone and in fact even support you. Right now, all this nagging is only to gain your attention and you are giving into it...Integrate...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk |314 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025Hindi

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Can I get MNIT Jaipur Mechanical out state with 98 percentile, General category,Male?

Ans: Hi,
In JEE Main 2024, a 98 percentile typically corresponds to a rank between approximately 15,000 and 25,000. For that year, the closing rank for a B.Tech in Mechanical Engineering at MNIT Jaipur in the General category was 27952.

In JEE Main 2025, a 98 percentile is expected to correspond to a rank between roughly 16,500 and 25,000, with a score range of approximately 140 to 160 marks out of 300.

There are possibilities to consider.

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NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 03, 2025Hindi

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Hello sir, Saranya from chennai. Doing final year B pharm. Heard about gpat from my friends How to do this entrance exam for joining pg course Please tell me if any other entrance exam is there for pg

Ans: Hi Saranya,

As you mentioned, many pharmacy graduates are considering the GPAT after completing their undergraduate studies in pharmacy. However, there are several more options available for pursuing a postgraduate degree in pharmacy today.

Here are the options for pursuing a PG in pharmacy:

1. GPAT: You can appear for the GPAT exam, and if you qualify, you will be eligible for a scholarship.

2. NIPER: You can also take the entrance exam for NIPER (National Institute of Pharmaceutical Education and Research) campuses, which include Ahmedabad, Guwahati, Hajipur, Hyderabad, Kolkata, Raebareli, and Mohali. Qualifying here also makes you eligible for a scholarship.

3. PG-CUET: A new option is the PG-CUET (Common University Entrance Test), which is being conducted by the NTA (National Testing Agency) under the Department of Higher Education.

4. Government Institutions: State governments will announce admission through advertisements. Admission will be based on marks or an entrance exam.

5. Deemed Universities: Some deemed universities offer admission through their own entrance exams.

Historically, GPAT and NIPER were the primary options for national-level aspirants. Starting from the academic year 2025-26, the NTA will also conduct the PG-CUET for national-level admissions.

I have included more details about the PG-CUET below.
PGCUET (CODE - SCQP23)
The Common University Entrance Test (CUET) is a National level Test conducted for admission into PG programmes in Central, State, and Participating Universities/ Institutions. The Common University Entrance Test CUET (PG) will provide a common platform and equal opportunity to candidates across the country, especially those from rural and other remote areas, and help establish better connections with the Universities. A single application form will enable the Candidates to cover a wide outreach and be part of the admission process to various Central and participating Universities. NTA has been assigned the responsibility of conducting the Common University Entrance Test (CUET).

Under Participating universities/instituttions are: Central and State Universities, Deemed and Private universities and Government institutuions.

Candidate must only select the test paper code. As the list of universities is dynamic and keeps on changing during the registration period.

A candidate can apply for two (02) Test Papers by paying the application fee (details mentioned at point 18).

A candidate can further apply for (02) additional Test Papers by paying additional application fees as applicable and maximum of four (04) test paper codes can be selected.

Mode of exam is CBT (Computer Based Test).
All Question Papers will be MCQ type. • Candidates can choose a maximum of four question paper codes. • The comprehension section in the General Paper will be available in either English or Hindi, based on the candidate's preference indicated during registration. • The duration of the Exam would be 90 Minutes. • The Question paper will have 75 Questions. • Four marks will be awarded for each correct answer and one mark will be deducted for each wrong answer.
• Language papers will be in the concerned language only.
• M.Tech/Higher Sciences will be in English only.
•Acharya papers will be in Sanskrit except for Hindu Studies, Indian Knowledge System, and Baudha Darshan.
• Humanities, Sciences, and Common papers would be bilingual (English and Hindi).
• The examination would be conducted in 2-3 shifts.
• The English version of the questions in all the question papers except languages and Acharya will be taken as final.

Syllabus: The Examination Syllabus will be uploaded on the Exam.

For the current year the examination dates (13.03.2025 to 31.03.2025) got over. iI THINK YOU HAVE MISSED IT. DONT WORRY. NEXT YEAR YOU CAN TRY OR YOU CAN ASSIST YOUR JUNIORS.

ADMISSION: Admissions will be handled at the level of each of the participating Universities for their respective programmes. After the declaration of the CUET(PG) 2025 results, the respective Universities will declare the counselling/admission schedule and merit list based on the CUET (PG) - 2025 score and any other criteria of participating universities. Please see the website of the concerned university for details regarding admission. There may be admission counselling by the universities with additional fees.

Applicants as per eligibility can apply for multiple test paper codes in one registration form. Candidates should not apply through duplicate or multiple forms, which may lead to the cancellation of all his/her Application Forms

CODE FOR PHARMACY: SCQP-23
SYLLABUS [POC, PIC, MATHS, OC - II, MICRO, APH (I&II), PHARM ENGINEERING, DCH PHARMACY, PHARM ANALYSIS (I -IV ), COGNOSY, CEUTICS-II, BIOCHEM, JURIS, COSMETICS, PHARM TECH, MED CHEM I-III, PHARMACOLOGY I-IV, BIOTECH, DRUG DESIGN, MARKETING, FOOD SCIENCE, QA, MANAGEMENT] HAS SHARED IN NTA WEBSITE.

THIS YEAR 57 INSTITUTIONS PARTICIPATED FOR THE SAID PURPOSE. NEXT YEAR THIS MAY INCREASE.

THE ADVANTAGES ARE NOT ONLY CAN PURSUE PHARMACY, APART FROM PHARMACY, YOU CAN PURSUE - DATA SCIENCE & AI, PUBLIC HEALTH, BIOINFORMATICS, PACKAGING TECH, ENVIRONMENTAL MANAGEMENT, GEOSPATIAL SCIENCE, PG DIP IN AI DIGITAL IMAGING, HEALTH CARE DATA, GEOINFORMATICS, PB-PHARMD, M.PHARM-PV, MSc- MICRO, MSc-NUTRITION, DIETICS.

I believe this information will be beneficial for your future education.

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

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NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 01, 2025Hindi

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Good evening sir, I'm in my last year of b.pharm and i'm very confused what to pursue now like m.pharm or MBA , basically i have to earn money as soon as possible but i dont where and how

Ans: Hi,

The best option after completing your undergraduate degree in pharmacy is to pursue an MBA. However, it is important to gain some experience in your chosen field before starting your MBA. This experience can help you secure a higher salary and a better position.

If you're looking to earn money quickly after your undergraduate degree, consider a career in marketing—you can expect a salary of around 6.0 LPA.

It's advisable to work in the field for at least 2 to 3 years before pursuing your MBA, whether it's full-time, distance learning, or virtual.

Once you complete your MBA, you can expect to see an increase in both your position and salary.

Best of luck!

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

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NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 06, 2025

Question by Dont - Mar 20, 2025Hindi

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Hello sir im a 12th passout in 2024 feb Maharashtra board, but i will not satisfied with my marks in 2024 i give improvement exam in 2025 feb but i still not agreed i want to give improvement exam in jully 2025 attempt i have options or not sir plese reply me

Ans: The board did not specify anything related to the number of reappearances. However, before reappearing for the exam, you should be adequately prepared to avoid wasting time.

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

Dr Nagarajan Jsk |314 Answers |Ask -Follow

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 09, 2025Hindi

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I am a 12th student now in state board of tamil Nadu and I am a government school student what is the minimum requirement for me to join mbbs in AFMC medical College

Ans: The following requirements are mandatory for admission to AFMC.

Age: 17-24yrs
Academic qualitfication: FIRST ATTEMPT with English, Physics, Chemistry and Biology/ Bio-technology taken simultaneously and securing not less than 60% of the aggregate marks in these three science subjects taken together and not less than 50% marks in English and 50% marks in each of the science subjects. They must have also passed an examination in Mathematics of the tenth standard.
Candidates seeking admission for MBBS course at AFMC Pune will have to mandatorily qualify the NEET UG 2024 Examination conducted by National Testing Agency (NTA). 11. Eligible candidates who are interested to join AFMC, Pune to pursue the MBBS course will have to mandatorily register and apply for AFMC, Pune on DGHS

The shortlisted candidates will be called for screening which comprises of Test of English Language and Reasoning (ToELR), Psychological Assessment Test (PAT), Interview and Medical Examination at AFMC, Pune.

ToELR & PAT - Test of English Language and Reasoning (ToELR) in the form of Computer Based Test (CBT) and also Psychological Assessment Test (PAT) to be conducted at AFMC, Pune only for candidates shortlisted for interview. (t) Written Examination Score - Score obtained in NEET (UG) 2024 (720 marks) added to ToELR Score (80 marks) divided by 4 to get a score out of 200. (u) Final Score - Written examination score (200 marks) + Interview marks (50 marks).

MEDICAL FITNESS: MANDATORY AS PER AFMC

ALL THE BEST

POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

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MHT-CET, IIT-JEE, NEET-UG Expert - Answered on Apr 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 06, 2025

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Hiw is nit delhifir cs

Ans: Hello Dear.
It is good and has a good track record of placement. Thanks

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NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 06, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 04, 2025Hindi

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In my 10th marksheet my father's name is "Binay singh" and In other Government documents like aadhar card,pan card,Ration card my father's name is "Binay kumar singh" And while filling the application form I filled my father's name according to Government document "Binay kumar singh" . Please guide me what should I do now. I made an affidivat From First class magistrate regarding the name "Binay kumar singh and Binay Singh" Both are same person Will there be any problem during counselling if yes please guide me.

Ans: Hi,
The 10th marks sheet is also a government
No need to worry since your dad is not going to write the exam. So don’t panic. Prepare for the exam.
All the best.

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NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Apr 06, 2025

Question by Shahnavaj - Apr 05, 2025Hindi

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I completed my 12th with pcm in 1996. Now i want to complete 12th with biology to apply in neet.please advise me if it is possible or not? Any other sllution?

Ans: Hi Shahnavaj, please share why you want to appear for NEET and what you are currently doing to give you advice.

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Asked on - Apr 06, 2025 | Answered on Apr 06, 2025

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Sir I am just retired from indian airforce. It was my dream to become a doctor. Now i want to fulfill my dreams.

Ans: Hi,
I’m glad to know that you have served the nation and are now planning to serve the public directly. Hats off to you! Before I proceed further, I need a few details from you.
I can predict your age, but I can’t provide information about educational details. Since your case is a bit special, could you please share the details of your HSC, including the name of the board, your percentage of marks in other subjects, etc.?
I am very happy to answer your questions.
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Sir I Have scored 85 percentile in jee mains ,so should I take drop or should get myself enrolled in some other institutes like IISER OR BHU for example

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