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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Suman Question by Suman on Apr 28, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

Dear madam , I was married since 14 years and live ng separately after marrige last 14 years due to both we are working professionals and my wife lost his father before our marriage and she needs to take care of her mother and family For that after marriage we leave separately and we was a great understanding and we have a boy after 8 years of marriage ,now he is also 6.5 years in age and doing good in education I only send money fornhis education and when ever wife needs ,we did not have regular sex as we meet frequently in a year about 3-4 months back. Now last one year almost I am abroad from India due to service transfer to Malyasia and feeling our relationship is no more working as my wife stop responding my calls and clearly told he is not interested on me.as she is very upgraded in her carrier and feeling disturbed about my calls ....and not even return call when she free of work...I am suppose to do what ? Please suggest.

Ans: Hello Suman,
It sounds like there have been significant changes in your relationship dynamics, especially with your wife's focus on her career and the physical distance between you due to your work in Malaysia. Even though your wife may not be responding to your calls, it's important to continue trying to communicate with her. Express your concerns and feelings openly and honestly, but also try to listen to her perspective without judgment.Try to understand your wife's perspective and the reasons behind her behavior. It's possible that she may be feeling overwhelmed with her responsibilities or experiencing other challenges that are affecting her responsiveness. Consider seeking the assistance of a marriage counselor or therapist who can facilitate communication and help both of you work through your issues. A neutral third party can provide guidance and support in resolving conflicts and rebuilding your relationship. Reflect on what you want for your future and what you're willing to do to salvage your marriage. Consider your own needs and priorities, as well as those of your son. If possible, try to spend quality time together when you visit India or when your wife can join you in Malaysia. Building positive experiences together can help strengthen your bond and rekindle your connection. Lean on friends, family, or support groups for guidance and emotional support during this challenging time. Having a strong support system can help you navigate through difficult situations.Take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally. Focus on activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if you're feeling overwhelmed or distressed.
Ultimately, rebuilding a relationship takes time, effort, and commitment from both parties. It's important to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and an openness to change.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 26, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
I am married for 23 years .Both me & my wife are doing job.I have one son staying with me. After 17 years of marriage I inquired that my wife has sexual relationship with another man . This has hurt me a lot as she betrayed me . As a result she gave no attention to me , my son and my parents . When I got this information , my wife left my house taking hand loan from neighbors . I never lodged any complain with police or file divorce case , rather I took it challenging. I took proper care of my son .Due to hard work & logistic support from me , my son qualified in NEET & continuing MBBS in Govt. college.As my son has grown up & knows the actual fact ,he dislikes his mother & has no contact with her since long.Gradually we have started forgetting her. After 6 years of staying outside , now my wife is trying to come back again forcefully which we do not want. Therefore I request that please advice me what to do.
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the challenging situation you've been through. It's understandable that trust has been broken, and emotions must be complex. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and that of your son during this time. If you feel comfortable, have an open and honest conversation with your wife about the reasons for her return. It's crucial to express your feelings and concerns. It might be helpful to involve a neutral third party, such as a counselor or mediator, to facilitate the conversation. If she continues to pursue a return against your wishes, you may want to consult with a legal professional to understand your options and rights. Given the complexity of your situation, it might be beneficial to seek legal advice to understand your rights and responsibilities. A lawyer can help you explore options and provide guidance on how to proceed. Take into account the well-being and feelings of your son in any decision-making process. His opinion and comfort level should be considered, especially if he has chosen not to maintain contact with his mother. Decisions made under emotional stress might not be the best ones. Give yourself time to reflect, assess the situation, and decide what is in the best interest of you and your son Ultimately, the decision of whether to allow your wife back into your lives is a personal one. Consider what is in the best interests of you and your son, taking into account your own well-being and the well-being of your family.

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 29, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 28, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Dear madam , My name is Suman ..44+ years I was married since 14 years and live ng separately after marrige last 14 years due to both we are working professionals and my wife lost his father before our marriage and she needs to take care of her mother and family For that after marriage we leave separately and we was a great understanding and we have a boy after 8 years of marriage ,now he is also 6.5 years in age and doing good in education I only send money fornhis education and when ever wife needs ,we did not have regular sex as we meet frequently in a year about 3-4 months back. Now last one year almost I am abroad from India due to service transfer to Malyasia and feeling our relationship is no more working as my wife stop responding my calls and clearly told he is not interested on me.as she is very upgraded in her carrier and feeling disturbed about my calls ....and not even return call when she free of work...I am suppose to do what ? Please suggest.
Ans: Hello Suman,
It sounds like there have been significant changes in your relationship dynamics, especially with your wife's focus on her career and the physical distance between you due to your work in Malaysia. Even though your wife may not be responding to your calls, it's important to continue trying to communicate with her. Express your concerns and feelings openly and honestly, but also try to listen to her perspective without judgment.Try to understand your wife's perspective and the reasons behind her behavior. It's possible that she may be feeling overwhelmed with her responsibilities or experiencing other challenges that are affecting her responsiveness. Consider seeking the assistance of a marriage counselor or therapist who can facilitate communication and help both of you work through your issues. A neutral third party can provide guidance and support in resolving conflicts and rebuilding your relationship. Reflect on what you want for your future and what you're willing to do to salvage your marriage. Consider your own needs and priorities, as well as those of your son. If possible, try to spend quality time together when you visit India or when your wife can join you in Malaysia. Building positive experiences together can help strengthen your bond and rekindle your connection. Lean on friends, family, or support groups for guidance and emotional support during this challenging time. Having a strong support system can help you navigate through difficult situations.Take care of yourself emotionally, physically, and mentally. Focus on activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if you're feeling overwhelmed or distressed.
Ultimately, rebuilding a relationship takes time, effort, and commitment from both parties. It's important to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and an openness to change.

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1655 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 12, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 31, 2024Hindi
Relationship
Hi Anu, this is Rajkiran here, I am 34 years old I have been married 4 years back to a girl through the relatives reference. My wife is govt worker and she only has one independent parent which is her mother. The marriage happened in a very short time during corona period and we had healthy few chats of how we expect our life's to be and we were both in common understanding and when I asked what is her expectations then she said she had no expectations at all and go by how life takes on. I was happy that I got right match and I am person not into any relationships and nothing and this marriage relationship was so new and started loving her more and she was also the same. She had also no relationships and not interested in marriage but due to her mother's pressure she got married to me. She also started liking the relationship and valuing it After 6 months she was pregnant and she went to her mom's house to stay as she was feeling comfortable there and I aslo let her stay as she wishes. Child was born in 2022 April and problem started here We had to name the child and it's usually dad who names the child because its family tree and decendent. But my wife got in middle and said she wants name as suggested by her mother, the first fight started and later i compromised for child sake and I agreed to her on the naming of child. After the naming ceremony done her mother acted differently to me and she was looking for fight, my wife was also on the same route they were allowing me see my child once in a month and she also did not bother to spend time and let child because with me. I love to be with child but unfortunately I am not able to spend time with him. This made me feel suffocating inside and was feeling bad, one day we planned to bring child to my home along with my wife and she also agreed to stay for 3days and for some reason child was crying as it was new to adapt and new people. My wife used the situation to pull a fight with me and she said I want to go home saying child is crying and he will fall sick. I requested to wait for another few hours if he calms down and we will see but she didn't listen and got very pissed off and had cold war with her for week. She stopped talking and she stopped everything. I had no idea what was so wrong that I did and it so bad. I tired always to talk to her and she didn't give space to me and my feelings. From September 2022 we were not together till now. I December 2022 I approached marriage counselling for her and me to unite with her, she also had come for counseling as it was religious institution and she had no option to opt out. Counselling was done and she told that she will be coming my house in a Weeks time. After a week again same story she didnt turn back and she didnt even want to put one step to solve issue, adament nature and influence of her mother. I waited for a year and approached legally by filing petition on restitution of conjugal rights. I went through 2 hearings she is not turning back. I am left no where and for this sake why I should have married. I don't want another marriage or any i have great love for my child and even my wife whatso ever she does i just love her.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There are a few individuals on Earth who sadly fail to see the larger picture; in your case your wife fails to see how marriage can bring stability to life and the child's growth.
Now why she wants to run back to her parents' place is something I don't understand BUT she surely has forgotten that making a marriage work means staying together and even if the two of you need to stay apart, it has to be due to work or other commitments that require that kind of an adjustment.
Do you know why she is so quick to run back to her family home? Even if she was pressured in marrying you, what's the point running away from what is obvious.
If you are sure about not wanting the marriage, kindly factor in that you have a child. Make an attempt to get back together, so that your child has a stable home. Request an elder member from your family to intervene and talk some sense into her mother who seems to be ignorant to the fact of ruining her daughter's life. Is her mother going to take on the responsibility of her daughter and her child? See where this line of action leads you to and then step in and appeal with your wife...This is all that you can do...Hope for the best thing to happen...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 20, 2025

Relationship
Hi , I am 42 year married man in love with 37 yr old married girl , her husband is not a good man in every accepts and my wife is same we are with our partners due to children, Our relationship is 14 year old. We lived in different cities which are 6 hour run away from each other , We often meet 2 to 3 times in a month. Before relation with me she was in love another guy (Before marriage) and this was continued after marriage too. After 1 year of marriage her boy friend passes away in an accident and then Then I enter in her life , Now I come to the point from last 2 year due to some differences and due to corona effect we could not meet and our telephonic conversation was very minimum even once in 10 days and due to some financial problems she started a Job in a school , There she meet with a guy and they become closer and physical too and that guy was in relation with another girl too. After 3-4 month I doubt that she is talking with someone else So I asked her directly that question but she denied, By the time we again start meeting frequently Then After more 3-4 months she accepted that she is in relation with another guy, She told me that he looks like his Ex-boyfriend that why she attracted towards him. She give him 35 K Rs , Then I told her that Why she did not tell me that before ?? She reply that she was in trap of that guy because he is in the same school in which she was a teacher. She left that school then she get a courage to told me that all things. She cry a lot an apologizes many times then I told her we can continue if she never talk with him. She agreed after another 3-4 months later she expose another truth that she is in touch with him through Google chat but she never meet him neither she talk him about past on phone , she told me that she only talk with with him to know his well being only. She told me that one day that guy offer him to again physical and after that she started hating him and stop talking him. Now She is teaching in another school and that boy in other school , When ever she shaw him on Road she tells me about that . Now she asking me that if I caught her again cheating then I can do whatever I want. I love her so much and She loves me too Even we remain in touch on phone 10-12 hr in a day. Now my Question is that Can I believe her again ?? That she will not get in touch that boy in future ?? Should I continue this relation ??
Ans: Dear SPPL
Both of you are in an extra-marital relationship while staying with your respective spouses for the sake of your children. This adds complexity because, beyond trust issues between you and her, there’s the underlying emotional weight of being tied to marriages that neither of you seems emotionally invested in anymore.

Your relationship with her has lasted for 14 years, which shows that there’s a deep emotional bond between you. But the fact that you’re both staying in unhappy marriages out of responsibility to your children means that there’s always going to be a limit to how much emotional and physical freedom you both have in this relationship. That creates emotional pressure because even if you love each other deeply, you’re still navigating within the confines of your separate family lives.

Her getting involved with another man during this time reflects not just on her emotional state but also on the emotional limitations of your relationship. Being in an extra-marital affair means that neither of you can fully give yourselves to each other because of the realities of your existing family commitments. She might have sought comfort or distraction in someone else because the emotional fulfillment she gets from you isn’t enough to bridge the gap created by her marriage and life circumstances.

The fact that she confessed and apologized after initially denying it suggests that she feels guilty and wants to rebuild trust with you. But the emotional vulnerability created by this betrayal will make it hard for you to trust her completely, especially since your relationship already exists in a morally complicated space. Staying with your respective spouses for the children means that your emotional connection with each other will always have to exist in the shadows, which makes it more vulnerable to external distractions and temptations.

The big question here is whether you can genuinely move past the betrayal and continue to trust her despite the complexity of your situation. Love is present, but love alone isn’t always enough when trust is broken—especially in a relationship that already carries emotional and moral complications. If you feel that you can forgive her and she remains consistent in her actions, the relationship might survive. But if this betrayal has planted a seed of doubt that you can’t shake, it could slowly erode the emotional foundation you’ve built over the years.

You also need to consider whether this pattern will repeat itself. Since both of you are married and emotionally unavailable to each other in a fully committed way, emotional gaps might emerge again, and similar situations could arise. You need to have an honest conversation with her about whether you both have the emotional strength to maintain this connection long-term under these circumstances. If you can rebuild trust and stay emotionally strong despite the limitations of your married lives, then you might be able to continue. But if you feel like this betrayal has permanently altered the emotional safety you once felt with her, stepping back to protect your emotional health might be the better choice.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9447 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Career
Hello sir... I got 86.7%ile in jee mains (CRL 196706, EWS rank 28516, girl) and secured 93..2% in my 12th Cbse board.I have haryana domicile and want to pursue btech in cse, it or ece. What are my chances of getting a good govt college and is there any chance in CSAB for NITs or IIITs ? Thankyou
Ans: Lavisha, With an EWS Home-State rank of 28,516, securing Computer Science seats via CSAB Special in premier NITs under Home-State EWS quotas is challenging, as CSE at NIT Kurukshetra closed near 8 198 for general HS and the EWS HS cutoff typically tracks within 25 000–35 000—just within reach. Electronics & Communication Engineering at Kurukshetra closed around HS?Open 9 692–15 127, with EWS HS often extending to 45 000–57 000, making ECE a viable target. In JoSAA 2025, IIIT Kota’s HS-EWS CSE cutoff was 39,410, which places your rank comfortably within the acceptable range. Beyond these, peripheral GFTIs such as CIT Kokrajhar (CSE up to ~150 500 CRL) and Assam University, Silchar (CSE ~75 981) admit EWS candidates with ranks well above 28 000. All these institutes meet AICTE/NIRF accreditation, maintain ≥70 percent placement consistency, feature modern labs, active MoUs for internships, and have outcome-based curricula.

Recommendation: CSAB offers special preferences for assured entry into Electronics & Communication Engineering at NIT Kurukshetra under HS-EWS, followed by listing CSE at IIIT Kota and CSE at peripheral GFTIs like CIT Kokrajhar and Assam University. Simultaneously, pursue Haryana state-counselling seats at PEC Kurukshetra and Deenbandhu Chhotu Ram University for core-branch safety. However, have 2-3 Private Engineering Colleges also as back ups with your JEE Score instead of relying only on CSAB. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9447 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Career
BITS Goa EEE or NIT Calicut EEE
Ans: BITS Pilani K.K. Birla Goa Campus offers a B.E. in Electrical & Electronics Engineering with NAAC A+ accreditation and Institute of Eminence status. The program features modern infrastructure including specialized EEE laboratories, a Central Sophisticated Instrumentation Facility with advanced equipment like confocal microscope, FESEM, and Raman spectrometer, alongside comprehensive industry partnerships including Amazon Web Services and GitHub for startup support. The campus spans 180 acres with fully residential facilities and smart classrooms. NIT Calicut's B.Tech in Electrical & Electronics Engineering holds NBA accreditation for 6 years (2022-2028) under the stringent Tier-I evaluation scheme and is ranked 25th in NIRF Engineering rankings 2024. The institute achieved a remarkable 97.01% placement rate for EEE students in 2024, with 130 out of 134 registered students securing positions, demonstrating exceptional industry demand. Both institutions maintain essential benchmarks including statutory approvals, modern laboratory facilities, research-active faculty with doctoral qualifications, active industry Mships, and consistent placement support exceeding 75% over three years. BITS Goa commands higher fees of ?20.76 lakh for the complete program versus NIT Calicut's ?5 lakh, but offers unique Practice School programs ensuring 7+ months of industry experience. The BITS alumni network includes prominent entrepreneurs and unicorn founders, while NIT Calicut benefits from the extensive NIT Alumni Network spanning multiple countries.

Recommendation: Choose NIT Calicut's EEE for its exceptional 97% placement consistency, NBA Tier-I accreditation, cost-effectiveness at ?5 lakh fees, and strong government institute reputation with established industry connections. Consider BITS Goa's EEE if you prioritize unique Practice School industry exposure, Institute of Eminence status, entrepreneurial alumni network, and can afford the higher fee structure for comprehensive residential campus experience. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9854 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 26, 2025Hindi
Money
Hello sir, I am 38 right now, I have 60 Lacs in mutual funds , I dont have any liabilities and I dont want to have kids in future. I have a house on which there is no loan I have properties worth 4 cr which I am planning to sell and invest in properties where I can get rent, a rental yield of 3-4% so that I can earn monthly rent. I have health insurance of 10 lacs, but since I have kidney problems no company will give me health insurance now. I have term insurance of 50 Lacs. I want to retire at 40, is it possible, considering my lifestyle my monthly expense is hardly 30k, I take a trip once a year so my yearly expense will be 5-6 Lacs max not more than that. I am fed up with my job and just want to quit and live peacefully, what is your advise??
Ans: Your clarity of thought is very good.
You have no debt.
You have good savings.
And you understand your expenses well.
This gives you a great starting point.

Let us now go into every aspect deeply.
You want peace of mind.
You want financial security.
We will look at every angle to build that for you.

? Current Assets and Liabilities

– Mutual funds: Rs. 60 lakh.
– No loans or EMIs.
– One house fully paid off.
– Properties worth Rs. 4 crore.
– Health insurance cover: Rs. 10 lakh.
– Term insurance cover: Rs. 50 lakh.
– Medical condition: Chronic kidney issue.
– Monthly expenses: Rs. 30,000 approx.
– Yearly lifestyle expense: Rs. 5–6 lakh.

Your asset base is quite strong.
Your lifestyle needs are limited.
This makes early retirement a possible goal.
But we must plan it very carefully.

? Your Real Retirement Goal

You are 38 years old now.
You want to retire by 40.
That means financial freedom for 40+ years.
From age 40 to 85 or 90.
That’s around 45–50 years of no active income.

You must prepare for:
– Regular income.
– Inflation.
– Medical expenses.
– Unplanned needs.
– Market ups and downs.

With that clarity, we’ll plan every element.

? Dependence on Real Estate

You wish to sell Rs. 4 crore of property.
You want to reinvest in rent-yielding properties.
But rental yield in India is very low.

Even at 4% rental yield:
– Rs. 4 crore gives only Rs. 13.3 lakh per year.
– That is around Rs. 1.1 lakh per month.
– This rent is not fixed.
– There will be vacancy periods.
– There will be maintenance costs.
– Rental laws are complex.
– Property is not liquid in emergencies.

Also note:
– Real estate does not give compounding growth.
– Real estate does not beat inflation reliably.
– Property income is taxable fully.
– Reinvestment also involves stamp duty, GST and legal fees.

Instead of property, we need a more fluid and tax-efficient plan.

? Better Way to Generate Regular Income

You already have Rs. 60 lakh in mutual funds.
Mutual funds grow faster than rent.
They are more flexible.
They offer compounding growth.
They give better liquidity.

You may follow this route:
– Divide your corpus into two buckets.
– Bucket 1: Emergency + short-term (liquid + arbitrage + conservative hybrid funds).
– Bucket 2: Long-term growth (equity + balanced advantage + large & midcap funds).

From year 1 to 5:
– Use Bucket 1 for monthly income.
– Use SWP (Systematic Withdrawal Plan) to get Rs. 50,000 monthly.
– Adjust yearly for inflation.

From year 6 onward:
– Start withdrawing from Bucket 2 (which grew meanwhile).
– This plan can last 40+ years.
– Keep reviewing funds with a Certified Financial Planner.

This approach is safer than property.
Also better tax-wise and return-wise.

? Your Health Insurance Gap

You already have Rs. 10 lakh health insurance.
But your kidney issue limits new policy chances.

Still, you can do these:
– Check if your insurer offers top-up policy on existing cover.
– Check if your existing policy allows critical illness add-on.
– Start building your own “Health Corpus” in mutual funds.
– Keep Rs. 15–20 lakh for future medical use.
– This fund should be in short duration debt and hybrid funds.
– Do not use it for any other purpose.

You must keep upgrading your medical buffer.
This protects your peace during retirement.

? Your Term Insurance and Estate Plan

You have Rs. 50 lakh term cover.
But you don’t have dependents.
You don’t want kids.

So term insurance is not really needed now.
Let it lapse at the end of the term.
Instead, make a clear will.
Write down who will get your assets.
Nominate someone responsible.
Also choose a healthcare nominee.
This avoids future legal hassles.

A good estate plan brings clarity and peace.

? Why Real Estate May Not Be Ideal

As said before, rental income looks attractive.
But it has many hidden costs.
Also rental returns are flat for years.

Let’s look at its limitations:
– Property values don’t grow fast now.
– Selling takes time and effort.
– Rent is taxable at slab rate.
– Property attracts maintenance, tax, legal issues.
– Natural disasters or tenant damage is risky.

Instead, mutual funds offer:
– Tax-efficiency.
– Diversification.
– Liquidity.
– Passive income via SWP.
– Better visibility of returns.
– Option to rebalance anytime.

You don’t need to block Rs. 4 crore into property.
Keep your assets fluid and productive.

? Asset Allocation Plan

You can retire with peace if assets are well divided.
This kind of allocation may suit you:

Rs. 30 lakh – Short-term & medical corpus (in hybrid & debt funds).

Rs. 1 crore – Long-term equity corpus (flexi cap, large & midcap, balanced advantage).

Rs. 30 lakh – Opportunity fund (in dynamic asset allocation + gold + global equity).

Rs. 50 lakh – Health buffer + SWP support (in hybrid conservative funds).

From age 40, start SWP from Rs. 60 lakh gradually.
The remaining grows for later years.
A Certified Financial Planner can optimise this plan yearly.

? Tax Planning and Capital Gains

Your mutual fund gains have new tax rules:
– LTCG above Rs. 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.
– STCG taxed at 20%.
– Debt fund gains taxed as per your slab.

You must plan your withdrawals smartly.
Use funds where gains are under threshold.
Split redemptions smartly to minimise tax.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide this in detail.
Real estate has less tax flexibility.
Mutual funds give better post-tax returns.

? Mental Peace After Retirement

You are tired of work.
You want to relax, travel, and enjoy your hobbies.
You want no financial pressure.

That means your income must:
– Be predictable.
– Be tax-efficient.
– Grow with inflation.
– Be flexible.

Only actively managed mutual funds with SWP offer this.
Rent cannot match this.
Rental is fixed and does not adjust to inflation.
Also, if property is vacant, your income stops.

So build your post-retirement life around flexible income.
Mutual fund route is better for that.

? Lifestyle Budgeting

You spend Rs. 30,000 monthly.
Annual travel: Rs. 1–2 lakh.
Total: Rs. 5–6 lakh per year.

Even if we account for inflation:
– Rs. 8–10 lakh per year after 10 years.
– Plan to withdraw this much through SWP.
– Corpus must grow more than inflation.
– Fund selection and review is key here.

A Certified Financial Planner can review every year.
They keep your portfolio aligned to lifestyle changes.

Don’t depend on fixed income like rent alone.
You need flexible wealth.

? Avoiding Index Funds or Direct Funds

Some people may suggest index funds or direct mutual funds.
But those are not ideal for your case.

Here’s why:
– Index funds mirror the market blindly.
– They don’t protect downside.
– They give no active management.
– Direct funds give no advisor support.

In your case, you need safety, growth and personal advice.
So regular funds through a CFP or MFD is better.
You get expert support.
You get help in withdrawals, taxes, rebalancing.
You can’t afford mistakes during retirement.

Always go with actively managed regular plans.

? Emergency Planning

Keep Rs. 15–20 lakh in short-term funds.
Use only for medical, travel or family needs.
Do not mix with lifestyle fund.

Emergency planning is essential in your case.
It avoids stress and unwanted debt.
It gives peace during health issues.

? Portfolio Review and Execution

Once you retire, you must review portfolio every 6 months.
Funds may underperform.
You may need to switch assets.
Inflation may rise faster.
Tax rules may change.

A Certified Financial Planner tracks this for you.
They adjust things proactively.
That gives confidence for 40+ years of retired life.

? Final Insights

– You have a solid base to retire by 40.
– You don’t need rental properties.
– Sell your existing real estate slowly and smartly.
– Reinvest in mutual funds across buckets.
– Use SWP for monthly income from age 40.
– Plan Rs. 6–8 lakh yearly income for 45+ years.
– Avoid direct or index funds.
– Avoid annuities.
– Do not over-rely on rental income.
– Build a health corpus of Rs. 20 lakh.
– Keep Rs. 15 lakh as emergency fund.
– Let Rs. 1.5–2 crore grow in equity for long-term.
– Get help from a CFP every year.
– Your journey can be peaceful and safe.

Stay consistent.
Stay invested.
Stay reviewed.
Early retirement is not a dream.
It is a plan.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |63 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 26, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - May 22, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am (35) married for 4 years (wife 31) and it was an arranged marriage. During our conversations before the marriage that she told me she had a boyfriend and she broke up with her ex bf as he cheated on her. I was never in a relationship all my life till I started talking to my current wife in the year 2020. We only met in person after speaking to each other for more than 9 months via video and audio calls as both of us were living in different countries. After our marriage in 2021 we now have a 2 year old kid. A year ago, I found out that I was her 6th or 7th relationship. She also had physical relationships with several guys during her university days in Udupi, Manipal. She was also in a live in relationship in Udupi for almost a year with her boyfriend during her final year. After her graduation she moved to another country where she was again in an emotional and physical relationship with a different guy. After knowing all this I feel traumatized. I don't have any feelings for her as of now. I just do not care about her existence anymore. I am only worried about the future of my child. The most horrible part is that we still live together under the same roof. Our parents are in India and we reside in US. I really do not know how to proceed. The only good value that I see in her is that she is a good mom to our child. She has a good rapport with my parents and they like her a lot. My parents often suggests my younger sister to consider her as a model. These reasons prevent me from filing for a divorce. My wife does not have an income and if I proceed with a divorce she will have no means to stay here and will have to relocate to India. Most probably Custody of child will be with her and I will not be able to survive a day without my child beside me. I am just trapped in this traumatic, unproductive marriage of mine and it prevents me from accomplishing my goals. I work late hours and try not to be at home just to avoid seeing her. Trying to avoid physical relationship as well. I feel it disgusting these days. Is there a way out?
Ans: Hello sir. Well, this is actually a very complex situation. Knowing all this about your partner and still living with her could feel frustrated and trapped. Filing divorce could make this relationship even more complex. For your daughter, as you told that she is a good mother and daughter in law. You should take a pause and rethink about it. Take some time with yourself and try to forgive your wife. You ll feel more peace and eventually you ll be good.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on:
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet

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