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Mohit

Mohit Arora  | Answer  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Apr 01, 2024

Mohit Arora is a relationship coach, image consultant, soft skills trainer and the founder of Real Dating School. He has a BTech degree in computer science from the Rayat & Bahra Institute of Engineering and Biotechnology, Mohali, Punjab. He has been conducting customised skilling and communication workshops since 2014.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Mar 13, 2024Hindi
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Relationship

My marriage was arranged in our comminity about 20 years ago. However i found that my wife was too lazy and lacked common sense and basic IQ probably due to the upbringing by her parents. She required a lot of push to go to even a partime school to keep herself busy. She couldnt get along well with my parents either . I still adjusted with her although she knew nothing about bonding and it appeared a clearcut onesided relationship with me putting in all efforts to bond However in 2007 after we had a child, she ubknowingly started neglecting me all the more and it was evident that i was just married to b a breadwinner although i went out of my way to provide them all the comforts. I has expressed this to my inlaws and they appeared apologetic initially She neglected the daughter as well and i found that my daughter had been faring v poorly in exams and failing while my wife gav her access to mobile at age of 11 and she started encouraging her to build relationship with guys Now that she has moved with her parents along with the child in her custody, she and my inlaws are demanding money from me although i have paid her far more than she earned. They assume that i have to keep paying them money Need your advice to handle this

Ans: You need to consult a lawyer who can handle this. I'm a dating coach.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1572 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 16, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Please keep it anonymous I am married for last 12 years and I have a daughter. After marriage I lost my father and he was 70. I have a mother and we have a house with two floors that my father constructed. I am well educated and earn well. I am 42 now. After 4 years into marriage I suffered from cancer and suffered for 2 years with treatment and surgery. Still I managed to work and earn for my family and continued to work. After I fought cancer completely and did not have any cancer left in me. I am doing fine supporting my family. My wife and inlaws started accusing me of dowry constantly there after because I am a cancer survivor and there is no guarantee of my life and I may die any moment or my illness may take me away anytime. I am working and still providing for my wife and daughter from clothing, schooling, rent, food, recreation, trips. My wife does not spend even a little for family. She hoards all the money. My mother is a widow and she gets some pension and my wife stops me from giving money to my mother. My inlaws and my wife harassed me & my mother for the house asking to give the entire house. I have another brother and sister who are also entitled to own my father's property but my inlaws and wife harass me for full claim of my father property because I fell ill. This has been constantly faced by me in the last 10 years into my marriage. I am out of my illness and I am leading a normal life for last 8 years. I also safeguarded my wife and my daughter by purchasing a property of 2 crores from the money that I earned and have given full control of the property to my wife. Still my wife and inlaws behave the same that I may die anytime and they are always behind my mother's house for complete will and ownership. I am tired of all this, even during my illness, i supported myself financially and with my savings. I have worked for 20+ years and I have spent all my earnings and savings and purchased a 2 crore land property for my wife and daughter's future. I also have health issues and medical expenses for which I have no money left or savings left. My inlaws are rich and own 2 commercial complex which gives them about 2Lac rent per month. I have never asked for them for any financial help but still they are behind me and my family for money and property which all seems too much harassment for me. I need to save money for my daughter's education and marriage. Or I am telling my wife that we can use the property that I have made for her education and marriage but she does not agree and asks me to construct a new house worth 50Lac and again she does not want to pitch in and contribute. Can you guide me on how should I handle this financial committment that never seems to end inspite of giving off everything I have to them ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I hope things are better for you now. I have answered your question on July 22 itself...You may copy paste the link below on your browser to view the answer:
https://gurus.rediff.com/question/qdtl/relationship/keep-anonymous-married-12-daughter-marriage-lost-father-70-mother/5142258

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1572 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 25, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
Please keep this anonymous I am married for last 12 years and I have a daughter. After marriage I lost my father and he was 70. I have a mother and we have a house with two floors that my father constructed. I am well educated and earn well. I am 42 now. After 4 years into marriage I suffered from cancer and suffered for 2 years with treatment and surgery. Still I managed to work and earn for my family and continued to work. After I fought cancer completely and did not have any cancer left in me. I am doing fine supporting my family. My wife and inlaws started accusing me of dowry constantly there after because I am a cancer survivor and there is no guarantee of my life and I may die any moment or my illness may take me away anytime. I am working and still providing for my wife and daughter from clothing, schooling, rent, food, recreation, trips. My wife does not spend even a little for family. She hoards all the money. My mother is a widow and she gets some pension and my wife stops me from giving money to my mother. My inlaws and my wife harassed me & my mother for the house asking to give the entire house. I have another brother and sister who are also entitled to own my father's property but my inlaws and wife harass me for full claim of my father property because I fell ill. This has been constantly faced by me in the last 10 years into my marriage. I am out of my illness and I am leading a normal life for last 8 years. I also safeguarded my wife and my daughter by purchasing a property of 2 crores from the money that I earned and have given full control of the property to my wife. Still my wife and inlaws behave the same that I may die anytime and they are always behind my mother's house for complete will and ownership. I am tired of all this, even during my illness, i supported myself financially and with my savings. I have worked for 20+ years and I have spent all my earnings and savings and purchased a 2 crore land property for my wife and daughter's future. I also have health issues and medical expenses for which I have no money left or savings left. My inlaws are rich and own 2 commercial complex which gives them about 2Lac rent per month. I have never asked for them for any financial help but still they are behind me and my family for money and property which all seems too much harassment for me. I need to save money for my daughter's education and marriage. Or I am telling my wife that we can use the property that I have made for her education and marriage but she does not agree and asks me to construct a new house worth 50Lac and again she does not want to pitch in and contribute. Can you guide me on how should I handle this financial committment that never seems to end inspite of giving off everything I have to them ?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
The fact that you are sharing your story which is indeed sad tells me that you know what must be done but are hesitating to do it.
When there is no respect in a marriage and for the spouse and his needs and the issue has become money and to attain that money at all costs, that is not a marriage anymore. It only speaks of selfishness.
You are right in protecting your interests and that of your daughter. So, time to toughen up and say NO to your wife and her family. It may seem harsh to them at first, but be very assertive. You have the right to plan your finances especially when family around you have begun to act like predators.
So taking a loan is only going to bleed your finances more and if you are convinced you don't want to do that, then please don't.
Yes, there will be arguments and big fights, but do what is right by you and for you. It may seem selfish but it is only self-care and self-love. This should also help you become fitter physically and emotionally to lead a better quality life.

All the best!

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |569 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 22, 2023

Relationship
Please keep my question anonymous I am married for last 12 years and I have a daughter. After marriage I lost my father and he was 70. I have a mother and we have a house with two floors that my father constructed. I am well educated and earn well. I am 42 now. After 4 years into marriage I suffered from cancer and suffered for 2 years with treatment and surgery. Still I managed to work and earn for my family and continued to work. After I fought cancer completely and did not have any cancer left in me. I am doing fine supporting my family. My wife and inlaws started accusing me of dowry constantly there after because I am a cancer survivor and there is no guarantee of my life and I may die any moment or my illness may take me away anytime. I am working and still providing for my wife and daughter from clothing, schooling, rent, food, recreation, trips. My wife does not spend even a little for family. She hoards all the money. My mother is a widow and she gets some pension and my wife stops me from giving money to my mother. My inlaws and my wife harassed me & my mother for the house asking to give the entire house. I have another brother and sister who are also entitled to own my father's property but my inlaws and wife harass me for full claim of my father property because I fell ill. This has been constantly faced by me in the last 10 years into my marriage. I am out of my illness and I am leading a normal life for last 8 years. I also safeguarded my wife and my daughter by purchasing a property of 2 crores from the money that I earned and have given full control of the property to my wife. Still my wife and inlaws behave the same that I may die anytime and they are always behind my mother's house for complete will and ownership. I am tired of all this, even during my illness, i supported myself financially and with my savings. I have worked for 20+ years and I have spent all my earnings and savings and purchased a 2 crore land property for my wife and daughter's future. I also have health issues and medical expenses for which I have no money left or savings left. My inlaws are rich and own 2 commercial complex which gives them about 2Lac rent per month. I have never asked for them for any financial help but still they are behind me and my family for money and property which all seems too much harassment for me. I need to save money for my daughter's education and marriage. Or I am telling my wife that we can use the property that I have made for her education and marriage but she does not agree and asks me to construct a new house worth 50Lac and again she does not want to pitch in and contribute. Can you guide me on how should I handle this financial committment that never seems to end inspite of giving off everything I have to them ?
Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the difficult situation you're facing with your wife and in-laws. It's clear that you have been through a lot, including battling cancer and overcoming financial challenges to support your family. It's important to remember that you deserve support and understanding from your spouse and in-laws during these trying times.

Here are some suggestions on how to handle this ongoing financial commitment and the issues you're facing:

Open communication: Have an honest and open conversation with your wife about your financial situation, your concerns, and the importance of working together as a team. Explain the financial constraints you are facing due to your health issues and medical expenses. Ensure that she understands the importance of planning for your daughter's education and future.
Seek professional advice: If necessary, consult with a financial advisor or a family counselor to mediate the discussions and help find a resolution. A neutral third party might be able to provide insights and suggestions to manage the financial matters more effectively.
Legal consultation: Since there are disputes over property and ownership, it might be wise to consult with a lawyer to understand your rights and options related to your father's property. They can help you navigate the legal aspects and protect your interests.
Support from extended family: Reach out to your brother and sister for support and understanding during these challenging times. They may be able to provide emotional and even financial support to help you and your mother.
Set boundaries: Clearly communicate with your wife and in-laws about your expectations and boundaries. Make it clear that you won't tolerate harassment or demands that are unfair or unreasonable.
Financial planning: If possible, create a financial plan for your daughter's education and future needs. Discuss with your wife how you can contribute together to achieve these goals, considering your current financial constraints.
Seek support for yourself: Going through so much stress can be emotionally draining. Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor to help you cope with the situation and manage your emotions.
Stay strong and assertive: Remember that you have been through a lot and have worked hard to provide for your family. Stay assertive in protecting your interests while maintaining respect and empathy.
Ultimately, it's essential to prioritize your daughter's well-being and future. Ensure that the decisions made are fair and in the best interest of all involved parties. If the situation becomes too overwhelming, don't hesitate to seek legal advice to protect your rights and assets. Remember, it's okay to seek help and support when dealing with challenging circumstances like this.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1572 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 27, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 27, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, I am married for 3 years and having 1 year baby boy. My marriage was fixed at matrimony site. After registration my wife used to tell me that she will spent most of her time at her home with her father and mother which is only 5 km within my home. After marriage she used to stay at her father's house almost 9 months in a year and only 2-3 months intermittent break she used to visit my house. She used to made me buy expensive washing machine and other house hold items inspite of having one already there, keep Cooking maid etc. When most of the time she is not staying with me I feel these are all my money wastage. Now she is forcing me to keep all time maid. My salary is only 50k , how can I manage all these expenses and her demand and even after meeting all these she is not staying with me and used to spent all the time at her father's flat. When I say to stay with me she used to give lot of excuses, She and both her parents had visited multiple times in my house before marriage and well aware that my kitchen setup is at first floor and not on second floor and other house hold arrangement. She used to take my baby boy with her for long period of time like 5-6 months and then come for 2-3 weeks and then again went away. We feel we are going distant apart and thinking to drag her and family in Magistrate court to seek right to conjugal life and her directly in court whether she would like to stay with me in my house or at father's place. Needless to say I used to bear all her expenses even she is staying at her father's house and I am staying alone and leading batchelor life. Please suggest.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Clearly your wife and her parents have not understood that marriage means staying together under the same roof as a couple and going through the highs and lows that come along the way.
If your wife intends to come to live in your home like it's a PG, then ask her to bear half the cost of all that is being bought. Maybe then that will drive sense inside of her.
On the other hand, what is the reason that she is so unwilling to stay longer periods with you? Have you tried to ask her this? I can only suggest:
- ask a two elder family members from both sides to step in and intervene
- go for couples therapy which will help both of you focus on the marriage as husband and wife

This can be a start point and then you can evaluate based on how things turn out...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Dr Nagarajan Jsk

Dr Nagarajan Jsk   |305 Answers  |Ask -

NEET, Medical, Pharmacy Careers - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

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Career
What are the chances to get merit out in afcat for flying branch if you've cleared all stages till medical but with a slightly average written marks?
Ans: Hi Gaurav,
Greetings.
Whenever we decide to take an entrance exam, it’s important to review the guidelines thoroughly. Like other entrance exams, CDAC has provided details on their website regarding the examination process. Admission is based on the vacancies available in the respective areas, and candidates will be admitted after a proper evaluation.

As you mentioned, there are several stages that candidates must clear for admission, if a candidate achieves average marks (Point 8a. (v) In order to rationalise the marks scored by candidates appearing in different shifts in an objective manner through a statistical method, before declaration of result marks scored by candidates will be Normalised based on the formula ), it can be challenging to predict their likelihood of admission. The Air Force has the discretion to set qualifying marks for any or all subjects of the examination. Below are points extracted from CDAC to provide more clarity about the admission process.

Sometimes, they may even consider a second cut-off if necessary ( Based on organizational requirements, IAF may impose a second cut-off for particular branch and call additional eligible candidates for SSB testing. These candidates will be shortlisted purely based on order of merit for the particular branch. That particular branch should be one of the choices submitted by the candidate at the time of registration. The candidature of candidates thus shortlisted, will be valid for that particular branch only and not for any other branch. In the overall Order of Merit, they will be placed below the last candidate qualifying the First AFCAT cut off marks {Para 9(a) above}. If successful in the selection process, these candidates will be inducted into that particular branch only, subject to vacancies and order of merit. These candidates would be required to submit an undertaking to this effect).

So,If you've decided to pursue this path, then proceed with thorough preparation.

BEST OF LUCK.
POOCHO. LIFE CHANGE KARO!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |4401 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Mar 29, 2025

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My daughter scored 94.62 percentile in IIT JEE mains exam 2025 session 1. She belongs to general category. Which colleges she have chances to get admission
Ans: Dr, Here is, How to Predict Your Daughter's Chances of Admission into NIT or IIIT or GFTI After JEE Main Results – A Step-by-Step Guide

Once the January JEE Main session results are declared, many students and JEE applicants start asking common questions about eligibility for specific institutes (NITs, IIITs, GFTIs, etc.) based on their percentile, category, preferred branch, and home state.

Providing precise admission chances for each student can be challenging. Some reputed educational websites offer ‘College Predictor’ tools where you can check possible college options based on your percentile, category, and preferences. However, for a more accurate understanding, here’s a simple yet effective 9-step method using JoSAA’s past-year opening and closing ranks. This approach gives you a fair estimate (though not 100% exact) of your admission chances based on the previous year’s data.

Step-by-Step Guide to Check Your Daughter's Admission Chances Using JoSAA Data
Step 1: Collect Your Daughter's Key Details
Before starting, note down the following details:

Her JEE Main percentile
Her category (General-Open, SC, ST, OBC-NCL, EWS, PwD categories)
Preferred institute types (NIT, IIIT, GFTI)
Preferred locations (or if you're open to any location in India)
List of at least 3 preferred academic programs (branches) as backups (instead of relying on just one option)
Step 2: Access JoSAA’s Official Opening & Closing Ranks
Go to Google and type: JoSAA Opening & Closing Ranks 2024
Click on the first search result (official JoSAA website).
You will land directly on JoSAA’s portal, where you can enter your details to check past-year cutoffs.
Step 3: Select the Round Number
JoSAA conducts five rounds of counseling.
For a safer estimate, choose Round 4, as most admissions are settled by this round.
Step 4: Choose the Institute Type
Select NIT, IIIT, or GFTI, depending on your preference.
If you are open to all types of institutes, check them one by one instead of selecting all at once.
Step 5: Select the Institute Name (Based on Location)
It is recommended to check institutes one by one, based on your preferred locations.
Avoid selecting ‘ALL’ at once, as it may create confusion.
Step 6: Select Her Preferred Academic Program (Branch)
Enter the branches you are interested in, one at a time, in your preferred order.
Step 7: Submit and Analyze Results
After selecting the relevant details, click the ‘SUBMIT’ button.
The system will display Opening & Closing Ranks of the selected institute and branch for different categories.
Step 8: Note Down the Opening & Closing Ranks
Maintain a notebook or diary to record the Opening & Closing Ranks for each institute and branch you are interested in.
This will serve as a quick reference during JoSAA counseling.
Step 9: Adjust Your Expectations on a Safer Side
Since Opening & Closing Ranks fluctuate slightly each year, always adjust the numbers for safety.
Example Calculation:
If the Opening & Closing Ranks for NIT Delhi | Mechanical Engineering | OPEN Category show 8622 & 26186 (for Home State), consider adjusting them to 8300 & 23000 (on a safer side).
If the Female Category rank is 34334 & 36212, adjust it to 31000 & 33000.
Follow this approach for Other State candidates and different categories.
Pro Tip: Adjust your expected rank slightly lower than the previous year's cutoffs for realistic expectations during JoSAA counseling.

Can This Method Be Used for JEE April & JEE Advanced?
Yes! You can repeat the same steps after your April JEE Main results to refine your admission possibilities.
You can also follow a similar process for JEE Advanced cutoffs when applying for IITs.

Want to Learn More About JoSAA Counseling?
If you want detailed insights on JoSAA counseling, engineering entrance exams, preparation strategies, and engineering career options, check out EduJob360’s 180+ YouTube videos on this topic!

Hope this guide helps! All the best for your daughter's admissions!

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