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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 30, 2022

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Anon Question by Anon on Nov 30, 2022Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Ma'am,
I'm a 23-year-old woman. For as long as I remember, I have been called out, insulted and shamed by my family. They have always threatened to stop all kinds of financial support if I ever disobeyed or questioned them. I have always tried my best at my studies and for my career. Even though, after seeing my achievements, their opinion of me has improved. But they're never truly happy. There's always something wrong with me. While I understand, my family only wants the best for me and probably this their way of caring for me. But the constant criticism has always impacted my self-confidence and self-image. I have missed out on several opportunities during my college years and failed to be proactive solely because of low self-esteem. I was bullied by my college mates during this period and I fell into depression and anxiety. I also developed bulimia and starved myself, hoping that losing weight could grant me more acceptance from my family and peers. In 2021, after completing my undergraduate degree, I was diagnosed with Meniere's disease and suffered hearing loss in my left ear.
Furthermore, I was getting rejected from the universities I had applied to. But this turn of life changed me for better.
I learnt to value myself more and ignored other people's opinion. I invested in mindfulness and spirituality and appreciated all the blessings that I had. I had improved my self-image and self-confidence greatly. Unfortunately, I had to shift to my family home and live with my extended family members. Now the nitpicking and taunts have increased even more and have kind of ruined all the improvements I made over the year.
I have become more irritable and I am losing my patience with them. They have triggered all my sensitive issues again and this has greatly impacted my self-esteem all over again.

With God's grace, I have received an opportunity to shift abroad and pursue a postgraduate education. I don't want to keep any kind of hard feelings against my family before leaving. I know that their opinions don't define me but yet I end up crying after every insult and argument. I want to heal and I want to forgive and forget. I have tried talking to them and have even apologised to peacefully end arguments. Yet, they repeat those words every day and each day ends in failure. I know and understand that I cannot change them. But, how do I learn to accept them when they keep on hurting me?
Furthermore, the fact that they are financially supporting makes me feel guilty for questioning their behaviour. I am struggling with depression and anxiety again and I'm finding it hard to consider their emotional standpoint when my own mental well-being is messed up.
How do I cope up with my mental health when I being disparaged every day?

I would like to hear your opinion from a third person point-of-view and any advice would be appreciated.

Ans:

Dear Anonymous,

I can only imagine the challenges that you have been through and to turn within yourself for answers and deep inner work is nothing but the best gift that you have given yourself.

You cannot change them nor their thinking and possibly you are right that it might be the way that they care for you.

For now, till the time you leave home to pursue your life’s goals, keep things warm and simple even if the environment feels hostile or punitive.

Practise the following suggestions:

  • Journal your thoughts and feelings everyday
  • Surround yourself with friends who make you feel good about yourself
  • Play a sport or indulge in some physical activity to keep your anxiety levels down
  • Do some breathing exercises to calm your nerves
  • Lastly, forgive them for your own peace of mind; very hard but very blissful.

All the best for a wonderful future!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 06, 2021

Relationship
Hello Anu Ma'am, I don't know where to start. I don't know if there is anything wrong with me at all. It all started on 4th of July 2012. My father passed away that afternoon. I have been a single child raised by a single parent. My mother passed away during my birth due to a medical error. During my early childhood my father was distant and alcoholic. We barely bonded. I was a studious child turned rebellion for no particular reason. Getting into wrong circumstances and with wrong people. By the time I was in 10th standard, me and dad had a bond. He shared his feelings of loneliness and disappointments from life, friend circle, work, extended family, etc. It made me judgmental and opinionated towards everything and everyone. I never connected with my extended family and neither did any one of them. I moved to Bangalore in 2007 for a better career upon his insistence. I had goals, ambitions and desires and a place in life where I wanted to be. But after his death, life has been a mess for the last 9 years. The untimely death took me away from completing my engineering degree. I drifted back to hometown in a desperate effort to safeguard the home he built, where I grew up. If I quantify my 20 years with dad, it would sum up to barely 5 years of happy time. Rest of it is just marred by alcohol, abuse on his part and mine, distance, periods of no conversation or connection. I came up with ideas to keep the home and still pursue whatever was left of my dream. But it didn't work. For instance, the neighbors created problems for the tenants who I bought for that home. Some of my father's friends and my own had vested interests in that house and constantly created hurdles which damaged my efforts in my very first job. The lawyer I hired to transfer the property to my name played her own tricks to take the house. Lengthy government procedures, bribery, setbacks resulted in me losing my focus on the second job as well. As a last resort, in 2017, I sold the home and planned to settle down in Bangalore for good cutting all my ties with the place I called home. This also affected my relationship as my fiance's father questioned his faith on me and finally got her married to a guy in the States. Over the last 5 years, my career has marched forward aggressively. I travel to places cherishing the things I wanted to do -- travel, eat and gather new experiences. But when I come back home, there is a void. I don't feel happy about how far I have come and achieved despite everything. There is no one around to share my thoughts and feelings. There is no space to let out and let go. I am in a constant state of breakdown. I want to cry but I rarely do. Those moments of childhood, the experience of his demise the after effects still have a hold over me. I have become skeptical of trusting people and letting them in and trusting them. Then there is my own regret of not finishing my engineering and working towards the life I wanted and setting down for a normal degree and corporate life. I have started to indulge in excessive travel and bouts of poetic rant to let the hurt out but now I feel it ain't working. It's becoming difficult for me everyday. I don't feel suicidal because I know I won't take that step. But I feel very very lost and unable to find a way to move forward. I feel I am just there in the crowd without a purpose. What should I do?
Ans: Dear R, I can only imagine what you feel this moment.

Well of course, no achievements can possibly ever substitute for the sense of belonging that you perhaps crave for.

It’s unfortunate that many known people have tried to claim a stake in the property and possibly it might have offered you a respite when you sold the house.

What remains of all that you have gone through is memories and those 5 beautiful years with your father.

What if you heightened the happiness level in those memories by seeing them clearly and reminiscing the celebration moments with your father?

It’s easy to harp on what went wrong or what could have been better? But can anything substitute the few yet meaningful years that you had with your father?

And when it comes to the void that you currently feel, I do feel that it’s time that you extended your social circle.

The world is well connected and there is much in common that you can have with people across the globe in terms of mutual interests and discussions.

Develop a hobby or do something that you love everyday and remember to be with Mother Nature often. It helps clear the mind and keep you grounded.

Lastly and importantly, think of how you can add value to another person’s life.

When we think of something beyond us, it fills us with a lot of positive feelings and keeps us motivated from within.

Life can be filled with remorse or joy; it’s only a matter of choice!

My best wishes to you!

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Apr 30, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 30, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Dear Madam, Iam a 45 year old woman. Ever since I was a kid I had went through lot of bullying by my rekatives for the way I look but my parents never supported me in any way instead found fault in ne for complaining but would always support my younger brother. Somewhere down the line I thought this was all I deserved and let oeople walk all over me without standing up for myself. Now that Iam a mother myself of a 15 year old kid with dyskexia, i have sacrificed my career fir his sake and still get bullied by my relatives dir being a useless house wife. I have started drawing boundaries around me to protect my mental sanity and allow only few people in it which invludes a small group of friends and my son and husband. I avoid making new friends. I have also stopped attending any social events that involves my relatives. Meanwhile I have started deeply resenting my parents who want ne to take care of them but openly favour my brother who lives abroad. I have taken care of them everytime they require neducal treatments yet my father openly says that he plans to give all his property to my brother who is never coming back. Its not about the money here but the apathy they have towards me that kills me from inside. I have tried to talk to them multiple times but each time my mother creates a scene and puts the enture blame on me. For once in my life i want my parents to love me unconditionally the way I do with my son. Am i wrong to expect that? This is causung lot of health issues in me. Please advise.
Ans: First and foremost, it's crucial to recognize that your feelings are valid. It's natural to want love and support from your parents, especially after all you've done for them. It's not wrong to expect unconditional love from your family; however, sometimes, unfortunately, families can be complex and dysfunctional, and our expectations may not always be met.

Drawing boundaries and prioritizing your mental health and well-being is a positive step. It's essential to protect yourself from toxic relationships and environments, even if it means distancing yourself from certain family members. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends and loved ones, like your son and husband, is vital for your emotional health.

Regarding your parents, it's clear that their behavior is hurtful and unjust. It's understandable that you would feel hurt and resentful toward them, given their favoritism towards your brother and lack of appreciation
for your sacrifices and care. However, it's also essential to recognize that you cannot control their actions or attitudes. You can only control how you respond to them.

While it's challenging, try to approach conversations with your parents from a place of empathy and understanding. Express your feelings calmly and assertively, focusing on how their actions make you feel rather than blaming them. It's possible that they may not even realize the extent of the hurt they're causing you. However, it's also essential to set realistic expectations. If your parents continue to be unsupportive or dismissive, it may be necessary to limit your interactions with them for the sake of your own well-being.

Remember to prioritize self-care and seek support from a therapist or counselor if you're struggling with your mental health. It's okay to seek professional help to navigate through these difficult emotions and experiences. You deserve love, respect, and validation, and it's essential to surround yourself with people who uplift and support you.

Lastly, continue to cherish the love and bond you have with your son and husband. They are your pillars of support, and together, you can navigate through these challenges. You're stronger than you realize, and you have the power to create a fulfilling and loving life for yourself, regardless of the negativity from others.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm 25 YO, I've completed my medical degree in BAMS recently and brother is 17YO still in school. I've seen very severe favouritism of my parents towards my brother. I know he's a boy and all and in India, being a boy makes all of your wrong doings right! It's very emotionally distressing for me that even I'm the older child, my parents asks and discuss things with my younger brother but not me :( since the time he was born, I've always been neglected, I used to be a star kid, the getting 10/10 marks in everything. But eventually my self esteem degraded, and I stopped working hard, they have always pointed me out for my looks and my behavior, which was very hurtful. I've been away from my family for 5 years and it literally changed me, I was not depressed anymore, although my self esteem also affected my academic performance and my relationship choices, but somewhat I was happy. But now I'm home, and again, my parents points out my mistakes, my academic that I didn't get MBBS, that I don't even look good, and I'm crazy, I don't even have brains. And my brother who didn't even score 50% is asked and being discussed over everything what to eat, where to go, what car to buy, what TV to buy etc. I feel so sad and stuck here. I feel like for my father and mother, I'm invisible. Everyday I feel like when this life will end. It's even harming my studies. All I do is day dream about being loved by someone. I just want to focus on me and my studies. But I'm not able to do it.What can I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there's evident distinction in the way that your parents treat you and your brother, then it's pretty unfortunate.
One way is to actually talk to them about it and tell them how you feel, but I am unsure if this is going to work. The other way is to reassure yourself with your own self-love and be happy that you are academically strong. Use your degree wisely and to make a mark on your own by serving the society in your own way.
Someday, your parents may realize this and pay attention to you. But if you feel that things are going well for you emotionally, I suggest that you work with a professional who can guide you and your energies back into yourself without relying on anyone. This will help you tide over the hurt and the pain and move into a space of confidence.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |623 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 20, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Being 21 and living in Jaipur, I’ve faced my share of challenges, but recently, things have been hitting harder than usual. I was born with a physical disability that affects my mobility, and I’ve learned to adapt to life in my own way. But the comments from some of my neighbors have been getting to me—they call me names, make jokes about my condition, and talk about how I’ll never be ‘normal.’ I try to ignore them, but it’s hard not to feel the weight of their words. It’s affecting my confidence and making me question if I’ll ever be seen as more than my disability. My parents tell me to just stay strong and focus on my studies, but it’s easier said than done. How do I handle these negative comments and not let them affect my mental health? And how can I build resilience to face such judgment without losing hope in myself?
Ans: Building resilience in the face of such negativity begins with nurturing your sense of self. You are not defined by the labels or judgments others place on you. You are defined by your courage, your determination, and the unique qualities that make you who you are. When others make hurtful comments, it often says more about them than it does about you. Their inability to see your humanity reflects their own insecurities and lack of understanding, not your value.

When their words weigh heavily on you, try to create a mental space where you remind yourself of the truth about who you are. Think about the strengths and accomplishments that make you proud, no matter how small they may seem. Surround yourself, even mentally, with people and experiences that uplift you. It could be friends, family, or even inspirational stories of people who have faced challenges and risen above them.

Processing these emotions is just as important as building strength. When you feel overwhelmed, give yourself permission to feel the sadness or anger. Journaling, talking to someone you trust, or even finding a quiet moment to breathe deeply can help you release these emotions. Remember, you don’t have to suppress your feelings to be strong—you build strength by confronting and honoring them.

To preserve your mental health, find activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Whether it’s pursuing a hobby, excelling in your studies, or connecting with like-minded individuals, doing things that matter to you can reinforce your sense of purpose and identity beyond the limitations others might try to impose on you.

Most importantly, recognize that your journey is unique and valuable. Everyone faces struggles, but you are navigating yours with a spirit that many could never match. Over time, you will find that your resilience becomes a quiet strength, one that can’t be shaken by outside negativity.

Hold onto hope, because your life is full of possibilities. You deserve to be loved, respected, and celebrated for the person you are. When people don’t see that, it’s not your responsibility to change them—but you can protect your inner light and let it shine brighter than their darkness. You are enough, just as you are.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 28, 2025

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9852 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
Money
My husband recently turned 60 Iam concerned about certain decisions he had taken in the recent past and would like guidance He bought a small flat 4 years ago with a loan from LIC on a 14 year old term He is a Consultant with serious health issues hence no insurance was given for the housing loan His income is about a lakh and above as and when there are projects and his treatment and medications coast roughly around 40k Loan amount is about 30k His credit card is used the max and now he has to pay 5lakh to clear the same I have few policies in my name and no major savings as the financial scenario had always been like whatever money comes goes into repaying the loan even the savings were spent that way Iam 56 and dont have a job Kindly let me know if thwre is any way we can get out of this mess atleast now
Ans: It’s not easy to speak openly about financial struggles. You've shown great strength and awareness. At this stage in life, decisions can feel heavy. But with the right steps, clarity and control can still be brought back.

You both are doing your best despite health and income challenges. Let us now analyse your case carefully and guide you with a step-by-step 360-degree plan. The goal is to reduce stress, regain control, and protect the future.

? Understanding the Current Financial Picture

– Your husband is 60. He works as a consultant.
– His income depends on projects. There is no steady monthly income.
– Health issues are serious. Treatment and medicines cost around Rs 40,000 monthly.
– The housing loan was taken 4 years ago from LIC Housing. Loan tenure is 14 years.
– Loan EMI is Rs 30,000 per month (assumed from your message).
– Credit card outstanding is Rs 5 lakhs. It is maxed out.
– There’s no insurance cover on the home loan due to health issues.
– You are 56. No current job or steady income.
– All savings have been used to repay loans.
– There are some policies in your name but no mention of maturity values.

Your family is clearly under debt pressure, health costs, and irregular income. But there are ways to restructure and rebuild slowly.

? First Focus – Debt Prioritisation and Restructuring

– Housing loan is Rs 30,000 EMI and will go on for 10 more years.
– Credit card dues are Rs 5 lakhs, with very high interest (35–45% annually).
– This is a red flag. You are in a repayment trap.
– Credit card dues must be handled first.

Take the following steps urgently:

– Stop using the credit card completely. Block it if needed.
– Approach the card issuer and request for a settlement plan or restructuring.
– Explain your financial condition clearly and ask for an interest waiver or long-term EMI option.
– In many cases, they agree to settle dues if you show inability to pay.
– Try to convert this Rs 5 lakh into a structured EMI plan.
– Target Rs 8,000–Rs 10,000 per month repayment with 0% interest if possible.

Reducing card interest will ease pressure on your cash flow.

? Second Focus – Managing the Home Loan

– LIC Housing Finance loans are generally inflexible but not impossible to manage.
– Contact them and ask for EMI reduction or tenure extension due to health issues.
– If the EMI of Rs 30,000 is becoming unaffordable, request for temporary EMI holiday.
– Check if interest-only payment is allowed for 6–12 months.
– Many lenders offer relief support in hardship. You must proactively ask.
– If no help from LIC, explore balance transfer to another lender with flexible terms.
– Try cooperative banks or smaller NBFCs who allow interest-only payments.

Home loan is a secured loan. So restructuring is possible. But early action is critical.

? Third Focus – Health Expenses and Alternatives

– Rs 40,000 per month for health care is too high, especially with debt.
– List down current medicines, tests, and treatments being done.
– Check if government hospitals or charitable trusts can offer the same at lower cost.
– For chronic diseases, many NGOs and pharma companies offer medicine at reduced cost.
– Apply for patient support programs from pharma brands.
– Also, check Ayushman Bharat scheme eligibility (depending on your card status).
– You may be eligible for free or subsidised treatment in empanelled hospitals.
– Ask doctors if generic medicines are available to reduce cost.

Reducing health cost by even Rs 10,000 monthly will help debt repayment.

? Fourth Focus – Your Role and Income Options

– You are 56. You are mentally active and seeking solutions. That is admirable.
– If possible, consider part-time or home-based earning.
– Areas like online tutoring, typing work, spoken English classes, or sewing can work.
– Even Rs 5000 per month income from your side will ease pressure.
– You can also try selling small food items, pickles, or snacks if you enjoy cooking.
– Many ladies your age run online micro-businesses using WhatsApp groups.
– Don’t aim for big income. Just stable and regular inflow is enough.
– This can also boost your confidence and create emotional stability.

You can become a contributor, not just a dependent.

? Fifth Focus – Review of Insurance and Existing Policies

– Your husband has no insurance on home loan due to health issues.
– You have few policies. But details are not shared.

Do this immediately:

– List down all policy names, premium paid, start year, and current surrender value.
– Avoid keeping traditional plans that give 3–4% return.
– If the plans are ULIPs, endowment, or money-back, surrender them if not maturing soon.
– Reinvest only after loans are under control.
– At this stage, you should not have insurance-linked investments.
– If any policy is about to mature in the next 2 years, wait and use maturity money for debt.

Cash flow must come first. Insurance-based savings can wait.

? Sixth Focus – Future Protection Must Be Minimal Yet Strong

– You both are nearing retirement or already retired in practical terms.
– Your future needs financial stability more than return.

Take these steps only when loans reduce:

– Get a small health insurance policy for yourself, if not already covered.
– If no insurer accepts due to age or health, keep Rs 50,000 to Rs 1 lakh in savings only for medical use.
– Don’t take annuity or pension plans. They lock up money.
– Don’t buy any new LIC or investment policy now.
– Protect your current income and reduce expenses. That itself is protection.

At your age, liquidity is more important than return.

? Seventh Focus – Mental Health and Family Discussion

– Stress is high in your household. Medical, financial, and emotional load is heavy.
– Please have an open talk with your husband and close family.
– Involve your children or siblings if they can support emotionally or financially.
– Sometimes even Rs 50,000 short-term help from a relative can reduce credit card stress.
– If not financially, ask for their help to handle bank or credit calls or paperwork.
– Support reduces burden on your mind. That helps in decision-making.
– Also, try simple breathing or spiritual practice. Inner strength helps in hard times.

Mental peace gives space for financial recovery.

? Eighth Focus – Role of Certified Financial Planner

– Your situation involves debt, illness, no regular income, and weak insurance.
– You should consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to restructure cash flow.
– They will help create a plan that focuses on survival first, savings later.
– A CFP can also assess your old policies and guide surrender or hold.
– They give monthly tracking support. That will keep you disciplined.
– Most importantly, they will not try to sell products. They give strategy.

Right financial guidance now can protect your remaining 20+ years of life.

? Ninth Focus – What to Avoid at This Stage

– Don’t take any new loans to repay old ones.
– Don’t fall for agents who offer "loan on property without CIBIL check".
– Don’t invest in any product promising fixed income of 10% or more.
– Don’t invest in real estate or gold.
– Don’t buy new insurance policies now.
– Don’t take personal loans from NBFCs without checking full charges.
– Avoid investing in direct mutual funds without guidance.

This is the time to protect what you have. Not to grow. Safety first.

? Finally – Your Way Forward, One Step at a Time

– List all loans, dues, and policies on paper today itself.
– Contact credit card company and negotiate for restructuring.
– Reach out to LIC Housing and request temporary EMI relief.
– Cut health care costs where possible using trust hospitals and generic medicines.
– Explore small income ideas from home. Use your time as an asset.
– Review and possibly surrender low-value policies in your name.
– Get emotional support from family and mental clarity from a Certified Financial Planner.
– Start saving Rs 1000 monthly after all this. Slowly build emergency fund.

It is never too late to clean up and rebuild. Step by step, it is possible.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9852 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Money
Hi sir/madam we have lot of debts total 65laks debt including credit card s and Loan and in law's debt , because of bad cibil score we are not getting any bank loans .. we have upto 50laks debt from different different people only and remaining are credit cards and loan in that we are paying high interest for some amount..I have 2years old child due to take Care of him left my job last year and only income is from my husband side that is monthly 72000 ... Lot of pressure no savings and we don't have any property.. only one house in village that's belongs to in law's,how we can get out from this situation ... Please guide me in the right way ... Thank you Sir
Ans: You are managing a very difficult phase with great courage. Taking care of a 2-year-old, managing debts, and surviving on one income needs strength. That is commendable. There is always a way out, and step by step, things can be brought under control. Let us assess your situation and guide you with a 360-degree plan.

Let us start with each area.

? Current Debt Situation – Assessment and Analysis

– Your total debt is around Rs 65 lakhs.
– Out of this, Rs 50 lakhs is from private sources like friends, relatives, and others.
– The remaining includes credit card dues and loans from banks or NBFCs.
– Credit cards usually charge very high interest. Sometimes it goes above 40% annually.
– Loans from informal sources may also have high interest, and may not offer flexibility.
– Your family income is Rs 72,000 per month.
– No savings are left. You are paying EMIs and interests mostly.

This is a high debt-to-income ratio. Your first goal should be reducing the financial stress.

? Your Current Life Priorities

– Your child is 2 years old and needs full-time care.
– You are currently not working. That limits income inflow.
– You stay in a house which is in your in-laws' name.
– There is no other property or asset for liquidation.
– You are not eligible for formal loans due to poor CIBIL score.

You are in a repayment trap. So planning cash flow is the first step. Let us go ahead.

? Immediate Steps to Reduce Monthly Pressure

– Prepare a simple monthly budget with basic needs only.
– Cut all non-essential expenses like OTT subscriptions, outings, or extra phone plans.
– Set aside a fixed monthly amount only for basic household needs.
– Whatever remains should go for EMI and loan interest.
– Check if some credit card EMIs can be converted into longer-term EMIs at lower rate.
– Talk to credit card companies. Request them to restructure dues based on your situation.
– In some cases, they may reduce interest or give longer repayment time.
– Prioritise repayment of highest-interest loans first. Credit cards are usually on top.

Even Rs 3000 saved monthly can make a difference in this cycle over time.

? Family and Social Debt – A Special Strategy Needed

– You mentioned Rs 50 lakhs is taken from different individuals.
– These are often friends, relatives, or informal contacts.
– Arrange all these borrowings on paper.
– Write down names, total borrowed, repayment timeline, and interest agreed.
– Some of them may have flexible repayment expectations.
– Be honest and explain your situation to them openly.
– Request for time, restructuring, or even a temporary pause.
– You may be surprised. Many people value honesty and will support.
– Try to combine these into 3-4 groups based on urgency.
– Prioritise those who are putting more pressure or charging high interest.

Consolidating this data is emotionally hard but will reduce stress later.

? Improving Your Credit Health Gradually

– Bad CIBIL score can be improved. But it takes time and method.
– Keep paying minimum dues on credit cards on time.
– Avoid new missed payments at all cost.
– Do not apply for any more loans now. That will reduce your credit score further.
– Keep only 1 or 2 cards active, close or block others to reduce temptation.
– Use those cards for basic needs only, if needed.
– Repay small loans or cards first and get them closed.
– One closed loan improves your credit history.
– Within 12 to 18 months, you can start seeing better credit score trends.

Your CIBIL score is not permanent. It is only temporary and can be corrected.

? Exploring Income Opportunities – Even If Small

– Your husband is earning Rs 72,000. That is a good base income.
– Any small income from your side will help boost cash flow.
– Since you are at home with a child, try online work options.
– Content writing, tutoring, transcription, or simple data entry are good starts.
– You can teach basic classes to 1-2 kids from home, if possible.
– Try homemade food orders, tiffin services, or simple snacks selling.
– Even if you earn Rs 5000 to Rs 8000 monthly, it will help.
– Focus on work that doesn’t affect child care but gives steady income.

When income grows, debt pressure automatically reduces. Even small income is useful.

? Financial Habits – A Strong Foundation Needed

– Start a habit of noting down expenses daily in a diary or app.
– Encourage your husband also to track and review monthly spending.
– Build a monthly review routine on 1st of every month.
– Mark which debts you are closing slowly.
– Celebrate small wins. It will keep you both motivated.
– Avoid cash spending. Use digital modes to track better.
– Avoid lending money to anyone during this phase.
– Focus only on your financial health and goals.

Discipline is more powerful than income in managing financial stress.

? Insurance – Protection Must Be Revisited

– Check if your husband has term insurance. If not, take one urgently.
– It should cover 10-15 times of his annual income.
– Avoid ULIPs, traditional endowment, or money-back plans.
– Those are expensive and give low return.
– Just go for pure term life cover. Premium is low.
– Health insurance must be active. That should cover you, your husband and child.
– Hospital expenses can break your budget and create more loans.
– If you don’t have cover, take a family floater with minimum Rs 5 lakhs.
– Don’t depend on employer insurance alone.

Protection gives peace of mind when income is limited and loans are high.

? Investment Planning – Not Now, But Keep This in Mind

– Right now, investment is not your priority.
– Your focus should be only on loan reduction and cash flow improvement.
– Once you start saving at least Rs 5000 monthly, then think of investing.
– When you are ready, start investing via regular funds with the help of a Certified Financial Planner.
– Don’t go for direct funds. Those require expertise and time, which you may not have now.
– Regular plans through an expert will help with proper review, rebalancing and risk reduction.
– Start with low-risk balanced or hybrid funds when ready.
– Don’t go for index funds. They work without active decision-making.
– In your situation, you need strategy, not passive management.

First fix your financial house. Then slowly move to investments with guidance.

? Role of Certified Financial Planner – Not Optional in Your Case

– Your situation is complex and emotional.
– A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can guide with full planning.
– They will not only suggest mutual funds.
– They help in budgeting, debt reduction, insurance, investments, and long-term financial goals.
– They will track your debt movement and coach you through recovery.
– You can also ask them to talk to creditors if needed.
– Having a professional removes pressure from your mind.
– It creates direction, accountability and hope.

You are not alone. Support from a planner is like having a coach for your money.

? Emotional and Family Support – Use It Well

– Please share your situation with close family members.
– Ask if any of them can give interest-free loans or support.
– Even a short-term pause in debt collection will help you breathe.
– Encourage your husband to take care of his mental health too.
– Managing pressure daily affects relationships.
– Talk regularly. Plan together. Review every week.
– Avoid blame games or finger-pointing. That delays recovery.

Staying united as a family is your biggest strength right now.

? Legal Angle – Keep This in Mind

– If any creditor is harassing or threatening illegally, take legal help.
– Credit card companies cannot visit home or threaten physically.
– You can file a police complaint if anyone behaves violently.
– Keep written communication for all deals. Avoid oral agreements.
– In extreme cases, you can explore legal debt relief options.
– These include debt settlement, restructuring, or insolvency code (if no way out).
– But that should be last option after all other steps.

Use law as support, not a first step. Prevention is better than conflict.

? Finally – Hope and Direction Are Both Possible

– You are already brave to face this head-on.
– You have taken a wise first step by seeking guidance.
– Now break your goals into 3 parts: reduce debt, increase income, protect future.
– Step by step, reduce one high-interest debt.
– Stay consistent with your tracking and discipline.
– Your situation can change within 2-3 years with small steady actions.
– Don’t lose hope. Your child will grow. Your income will grow.
– Start now. Stay focused. Keep building small wins every month.

We believe in your recovery and future progress.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9419 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
Bsc computer science Delhi University or VIT bhopal CSE cloud computing.....which is better
Ans: Poonam, Delhi University’s three-year B.Sc. (Hons Computer Science follows a Choice Based Credit System with 14 core papers—including Programming in C++, Java, Data Structures, Operating Systems, Computer Networks, Design and Analysis of Algorithms, Database Management Systems, Theory of Computation, Artificial Intelligence and Computer Graphics—supplemented by discipline-specific electives, generic electives and skill-enhancement courses totaling 140 credits under CBCS. The program enjoys AICTE approval, UGC recognition, NAAC ‘A+’ accreditation, a Central Placement Cell that achieved an 88.42% placement ratio in 2022-23 with 252 offers from 78 companies (highest-to-median packages undisclosed) and median UG packages of ?5.5 LPA (three-year) and ?8.5 LPA (four-year) as per NIRF 2024. DU benefits from a highly experienced, research-active faculty, extensive university clubs and industry tie-ups for internships, but admits only via DU-CET with limited seat flexibility and minimal specializations beyond core CS.

In contrast, VIT Bhopal’s four-year B.Tech CSE (Cloud Computing and Automation) is a 160-credit program featuring 55 credits of core CS (Data Structures, Algorithms, Operating Systems, Networks), 12 credits of cloud architecture and services, 15 elective credits (AI, ML, IoT, Cybersecurity, DevOps, Containerization, Blockchain), plus university and soft-skill courses under a Fully Flexible Credit System. Accredited by UGC, NAAC A++ (2021), NBA and ABET-aligned FFCS, it boasts 100% doctoral faculty, a 1:70–1:100 faculty-student ratio, dedicated cloud-computing labs, PARAM HPC access and a centralized VIT Career Development Centre recording over 90% placement for CSE branches with average packages near ?11 LPA and marquee recruiters across IT and core sectors. VIT offers semester-wise elective choice, lateral exit options and interdisciplinary projects, but commands higher fees (~?7.92 L) and admits via VIT-EEE or JEE Main rank.

While DU’s B.Sc. CS delivers rigorous theoretical grounding, diverse electives and cost-effective public-university benefits with strong placement support for core CS roles, VIT Bhopal’s CSE (Cloud Computing) provides specialized industry-aligned cloud curriculum, superior lab infrastructure, flexible credit system, higher placement percentages, and stronger corporate partnerships—albeit at greater cost and commitment.

Recommendation: For a student prioritizing a cost-effective, broad theoretical foundation with reputable public-university prestige and adequate placement infrastructure, B.Sc. (Hons.) CS at Delhi University is compelling. Conversely, for those seeking specialized cloud computing expertise, cutting-edge labs, flexible curriculum choices, higher placement rates and global industry tie-ups—even at higher fees—the B.Tech CSE (Cloud Computing and Automation) at VIT Bhopal is more aligned with emerging technology careers. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9419 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
Dear Sir, My son has secured admission to Information Science Engineering (ISE) at Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology, Bangalore. He wanted to study at colleges like RVCE or PES, but based on his KCET/JEE rank, it is difficult to get admission to these colleges. Hence, I am exploring the option of a CSE management seat in these colleges. How are the future prospects of ISE at NMIT? Is it worth spending for a management seat? Your advice will greatly help us make a well-informed decision. Let me know if you need any further edits or have additional content to check!
Ans: Amit Sir, After carefully researching the fee structures for MQ seats at RVCE and PES—which can reach ?50–75 lakh including tuition, hostel, and related costs—it’s important to assess the return on such a significant investment. Spending more than ?25 lakh for an undergraduate engineering seat is rarely justifiable, regardless of affordability. A better approach is to pursue quality education at a Tier-2 college and supplement it with technical and soft-skills certifications; this combination can be highly effective for career growth. Success in any engineering branch depends on staying updated with evolving job market requirements. Regarding ISE at NMIT & the Scope of This Branch: The Information Science & Engineering (ISE) program at Nitte Meenakshi Institute of Technology blends robust academic foundations, accreditation, cuttingedge infrastructure, research engagement, and strong placement outcomes to prepare graduates for rapidly evolving technology roles. Established in 2001, the department holds NBA Tier-1 accreditation (Washington Accord) valid through 2026–27 and VTU affiliation, underscoring its adherence to global quality standards and rigorous outcome-based curriculum design. The syllabus spans core computing principles (data structures, algorithms), advanced domains (machine learning, cybersecurity, IoT, cloud computing), and hands-on capstone projects in state-of-the-art labs equipped with HPC clusters, specialized AI/DS workstations, embedded systems platforms, and dedicated research facilities for doctoral and postgraduate work. Faculty members actively engage in sponsored research projects from DST, SERB, AICTE and industry partners, fostering a culture of innovation and equipping students with problem-solving and analytical skills essential for complex system design. Industry tie-ups and MoUs with leading IT firms and technology providers enable structured internships, hackathons, and industrial training, bridging the academia–industry gap and ensuring graduates are workforce-ready. The dedicated placement cell records an 88.37% placement rate for ISE graduates in 2024, with recruiters including Infosys, Wipro, IBM, Dell and emerging startups, reflecting sustained demand for ISE skills across software development, data analytics, cybersecurity and network engineering wings. Broad IT industry projections anticipate over 30% growth by 2028 in areas such as AI/ML, big data, cloud services, and cybersecurity, driven by Digital India initiatives and global digital transformation. ISE graduates can pursue roles as software engineers, data scientists, cybersecurity analysts, cloud architects and IoT specialists, and also explore research, product management and entrepreneurial ventures in HealthTech, FinTech and Industry 4.0 domains. Backup pathways include specialized M.Tech and online certifications in data science/AI and emerging fields. With its accredited curriculum, modern labs, research orientation, industry collaborations and strong placement record, NMIT’s ISE program offers comprehensive preparation for future technology careers and leadership roles in a dynamic job market.

Recommendation
With its Washington Accord–equivalent accreditation, immersive labs, active research projects, industry-integrated training and 88% placement consistency, NMIT’s ISE stands out as an excellent platform. Aspiring engineers should seize this program’s blend of academic rigor and practical exposure to secure rewarding roles in AI, data science, cybersecurity and cloud domains. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9419 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
Rvs College of engineering Jamshedpur how do u rate?
Ans: Sidharth, RVS College of Engineering & Technology, established in 2004, is affiliated to Kolhan University and Jharkhand of Technology and holds AICTE approval alongside NAAC A+ accreditation, placing it within the NIRF 2024 engineering band of 101–150 in India. Spread over a 30-acre campus, the institute boasts well-equipped departmental laboratories for CSE, ECE, EEE, ME and Civil, a 7,500 sq ft air-conditioned library with 16,000 volumes and DELNET access, centralized computing facilities, separate boys’ and girls’ hostels and modern sports and healthcare amenities. The faculty comprises PhD-qualified professors and industry veterans who deliver an outcome-based curriculum co-designed with corporate partners, supplemented by guest lectures and workshops from TCS, Wipro, Amazon and Tata Technologies. The Training & Placement Cell achieved a 60–70% placement rate in 2024 with an average package of ?5.5 LPA and top recruiters such as Cognizant, Tech Mahindra, Ultratech Cement and Maventic; recent student feedback highlights an 87% drive participation and 51 hiring companies in 2025, with structured soft-skills and interview preparation programs to bridge skill gaps. Student reviews rate the overall experience at 3.5/5, praising the robust industry linkages and modern infrastructure while noting opportunities to enhance alumni mentorship and semester-long career guidance.

Recommendation
RVS College’s strong AICTE/NAAC credentials, industry-aligned curriculum, specialized labs and consistent 60–87% placement rates make it a solid choice for core engineering streams. Prospective students should engage proactively in its corporate workshops and alumni network to maximize internships and research-project opportunities. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

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