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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Rahul Question by Rahul on Feb 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Ma'am . Just to ask that if both husband and wife are working and earning equally.Should they also contribute equally in expenses

Ans: Hello Rahul,
The decision of how a couple divides their expenses should be based on their mutual agreement and individual financial circumstances. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question as every couple's situation is unique.

Some couples may choose to split expenses equally, while others may contribute according to their respective incomes or based on their individual financial responsibilities. Additionally, couples may decide to have one person handle the bills and expenses, while the other contributes in other ways such as household chores, childcare, or by saving for future expenses.

It is important for couples to have open and honest conversations about their finances and come up with a plan that works best for them. This may involve setting a budget, creating a joint bank account, or creating a system for tracking expenses.

Ultimately, what is most important is that both partners feel comfortable with the arrangement and that it is fair and equitable for both parties.

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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |250 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 20, 2023

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Relationship
My wife has said that she will keep no relation with my family and i should not keep any relation with her family. This happened as my mother on law always supporter her..She is late for everything and which triggers my anger. I have always supported her but in the past i had friends who used to make me drink and travel leaving her all alone.I have already left the past. She is working now but does not support in running the family expense. She is 41 & i am 47 now. Our marriage has been is now completed 19 years. I have to bear all the expenses of the family like Son's school fees etc. She sometimes incurs her medical expenses. I am not at all happy as she is does not disclose anything to me and always thinks that my family is after her and says that they do some black magic etc...I am planning to bring my father as he is 80 years old but he is fearing that if he comes then there will be a dispute in my family. Should i ask to share the family expenses as this is eating out all my savings. Please guide me ...I am very unhappy.
Ans: Dear Trilok,

An open discussion might help in your case. I am sure you have tried explaining your grievances to your wife, but try it one more time. But instead of making your statements like, "your actions make me so frustrated," try to make her your ally with I statements, for instance, "I feel so frustrated because of everything that's going on; I really need you in my corner." What this does is tickles the other person's ego by making them feel needed; it just might do the trick.

Express your thoughts politely, without ever losing control of your tongue, and make your wife understand that you are partners and equals, hence both are responsible for the wellbeing of your family, not just you alone.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1033 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Hi Anu, I'm married since 5 years now and having loving In-Laws who are financially very well to do. My husband and I earn very less as compared to my in-laws, with whom we stay. My husband is 37 years old and earns 47000 INR a month, out of which he saves 35000 INR (in-laws have told him not to spend on house expense, but instead save). The rest 12000 INR he has for himself. I am also working and all my earning is with me. The problem is that he usually ends up spending almost all of the 12K. This angers me as I feel he should focus on saving as much as possible from that. We have an understanding among us that the expense for enjoyment will be borne by me as his major chunk is being saved for "Our" future. Am I wrong to be upset with his spending?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you wrong to be upset?
NO and YES...
NO; as you feel wronged that you are the one spending on enjoyment, so where does he spend 12K?
YES; as you have not conveyed it to him or the two of you have not spoken about it earlier. Have you discussed that he must save the 12K?
So, the key to any solid marriage is COMMUNICATION...Communicating your needs, wants, desires, values and aligning them to make the marriage work looking at the larger picture.

Simply have a frank conversation. For all you know, he may just understand where you are coming from; BUT if he wants to spend SOME OF his hard earned money on himself his way, kindly let it be. It's the pride of a man to be able to earn and spend without asking for anyone's permission. Do respect that...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Mayank

Mayank Chandel  |1528 Answers  |Ask -

IIT-JEE, NEET-UG, SAT, CLAT, CA, CS Exam Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2024

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