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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |403 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 03, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Rahul Question by Rahul on Feb 22, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

Hi Ma'am . Just to ask that if both husband and wife are working and earning equally.Should they also contribute equally in expenses

Ans: Hello Rahul,
The decision of how a couple divides their expenses should be based on their mutual agreement and individual financial circumstances. There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question as every couple's situation is unique.

Some couples may choose to split expenses equally, while others may contribute according to their respective incomes or based on their individual financial responsibilities. Additionally, couples may decide to have one person handle the bills and expenses, while the other contributes in other ways such as household chores, childcare, or by saving for future expenses.

It is important for couples to have open and honest conversations about their finances and come up with a plan that works best for them. This may involve setting a budget, creating a joint bank account, or creating a system for tracking expenses.

Ultimately, what is most important is that both partners feel comfortable with the arrangement and that it is fair and equitable for both parties.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |420 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 20, 2023

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Relationship
My wife has said that she will keep no relation with my family and i should not keep any relation with her family. This happened as my mother on law always supporter her..She is late for everything and which triggers my anger. I have always supported her but in the past i had friends who used to make me drink and travel leaving her all alone.I have already left the past. She is working now but does not support in running the family expense. She is 41 & i am 47 now. Our marriage has been is now completed 19 years. I have to bear all the expenses of the family like Son's school fees etc. She sometimes incurs her medical expenses. I am not at all happy as she is does not disclose anything to me and always thinks that my family is after her and says that they do some black magic etc...I am planning to bring my father as he is 80 years old but he is fearing that if he comes then there will be a dispute in my family. Should i ask to share the family expenses as this is eating out all my savings. Please guide me ...I am very unhappy.
Ans: Dear Trilok,

An open discussion might help in your case. I am sure you have tried explaining your grievances to your wife, but try it one more time. But instead of making your statements like, "your actions make me so frustrated," try to make her your ally with I statements, for instance, "I feel so frustrated because of everything that's going on; I really need you in my corner." What this does is tickles the other person's ego by making them feel needed; it just might do the trick.

Express your thoughts politely, without ever losing control of your tongue, and make your wife understand that you are partners and equals, hence both are responsible for the wellbeing of your family, not just you alone.

Best Wishes!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1304 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 13, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 12, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Hi Anu, I'm married since 5 years now and having loving In-Laws who are financially very well to do. My husband and I earn very less as compared to my in-laws, with whom we stay. My husband is 37 years old and earns 47000 INR a month, out of which he saves 35000 INR (in-laws have told him not to spend on house expense, but instead save). The rest 12000 INR he has for himself. I am also working and all my earning is with me. The problem is that he usually ends up spending almost all of the 12K. This angers me as I feel he should focus on saving as much as possible from that. We have an understanding among us that the expense for enjoyment will be borne by me as his major chunk is being saved for "Our" future. Am I wrong to be upset with his spending?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Are you wrong to be upset?
NO and YES...
NO; as you feel wronged that you are the one spending on enjoyment, so where does he spend 12K?
YES; as you have not conveyed it to him or the two of you have not spoken about it earlier. Have you discussed that he must save the 12K?
So, the key to any solid marriage is COMMUNICATION...Communicating your needs, wants, desires, values and aligning them to make the marriage work looking at the larger picture.

Simply have a frank conversation. For all you know, he may just understand where you are coming from; BUT if he wants to spend SOME OF his hard earned money on himself his way, kindly let it be. It's the pride of a man to be able to earn and spend without asking for anyone's permission. Do respect that...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Latest Questions
Archana

Archana Deshpande  |74 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
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Career
I am 21. I am a chronic overthinker. I am always thinking about what other people think about me or overanalysing situations and making things complicated. Is this a serious problem? What should I do?
Ans: Dear overthinker,

Thinking is a good trait to have, overthinking is not.

You literally have to STOP overthinking!!!

One way to overcome this is to stop thinking and become more action oriented. STOP analyzing everything in the head, put it on paper, there is something calming about putting thoughts on paper, writing them down with a pen and paper.
And then taking actions based on what you have written and no more thinking about it.

Indulge in physical activity, play a game which is more action oriented , this teaches you to be fully present in the moment, which helps you in being in the moment. Being fully present in the moment is what gets you out of overthinking.
Do meditate , I really can't enumerate all the benefits of meditation, what meditation does to people is beyond words.

There is a book called as, STOP OVERTHINKING by Nick Trenton, this book offers practical advice and exercises to help you break free from negative thoughts and worries. It provides evidence-based methods to combat overthinking and anxiety.

Another amazing book by Eckhart Tolle, "The Power of NOW", can help you.

There is no problem which can't be overcome, believe in yourself, you are more powerful than you think, the body and mind have to listen to you!!
What you think so you become, feed yourself the right thoughts and let the magic unfold.!!

All the best!!

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Archana

Archana Deshpande  |74 Answers  |Ask -

Image Coach, Soft Skills Trainer - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 16, 2024Hindi
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Career
My manager is constantly manipulating his boss about me. Everyone in my team is aware that she is increasingly insecure about my success and feels threatened by me. She often gives incorrect and incomplete feedback due to which my manager feels that my manager is more efficient than I am. In the past, 4 people have quit or been foced to resign due to these politics. Should I also quit and move to another company or should I talk to the manager about this? Pls help
Ans: Hi!!

When I was working in the corporate world, the oft repeated quote was, "people don't leave the company ,they leave bad bosses".
Your manager's boss is your super boss, rt? Can't you go and speak to him directly and put your concerns across?
I am sure the HR must have noticed that people are quitting and might have explored the reasons why they are doing so too, do check with them.
I fail to understand why women should not cooperate with each other. You can also explore the option of talking directly to the manager and telling her if your actions in any way have caused some misunderstanding and if she says yes then you are willing to clear them. Also tell her that you are not eyeing her post and you are just trying to do your job well. I did the same with one of my bosses, it worked for me, we became the best of friends, we are still in touch. You need to think which is your best option and choose one from all the possible solutions I have mentioned. You can always quit, that's the last option I feel..

Hoping you choose wisely..All the very best!!

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |3911 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Nov 18, 2024

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Career
my son is 8 year old studying in Class 3 . The classes occus is in morning shift from 6.30 am to 1.30 PM . after comming from the scholl he tired and not able to study in night . plz suggest the Correct time table for the second shift school child so that we can manage his tiredness and keep improving him in balanced way.
Ans: Priya Madam,

You have not provided information regarding the number of hours your son sleeps.

(1) Given that your son is only 8 years old, it is important to ensure he gets a minimum of 8 hours of sleep at night and 2 hours in the afternoon. Sleeping hours can be reduced once he enters the 6th Standard.

(2) Ensure he receives a balanced diet and nutritious food to sustain his energy levels. (3) Encourage him to maintain regular water intake to prevent dehydration. (4) Facilitate opportunities for him to take regular breaks and engage in play. (5) A 3rd standard student can't study for extended periods. He should study for 25 to 30 minutes, followed by a 10 to 15-minute break after each 25-minute study session.

(6) I am providing this information for general awareness. Parents should refrain from physically assaulting their children to achieve compliance, as this can undermine their self-confidence. (7) They should engage in more polite and loving communication with the children. (8) Children frequently observe their parents and tend to emulate their actions. Ensure that the environment at home is tranquil. (9) Addiction to electronic gadgets may also result in fatigue. (10) Regarding the Study Planner, it has been previously stated that regardless of whether he studies in the morning or evening, he should engage in study sessions of 25 minutes followed by a 10-minute break after each session. He will not experience fatigue, and the output will be increased. Hope, this answer will help you, Madam.

All the BEST for Your Prosperous Son's Future.

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