Home > Relationship > Question
Need Expert Advice?Our Gurus Can Help
Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 01, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2023Hindi
Listen
Relationship

I'm 66 yrs old retired having two sons, both married according to their choice. My wife 60 going to retire in a couple of months. My elder son who is a Bank executive married since 10 years and issueless. The younger son working as an executive in KPMG married since 4 years and having a child. Due some misunderstanding with the their wives the sons are at times not in talking terms with us. My sons are also not in talking terms with each other. In the recent days the elder son directly instigated not to keep contact with the younger one because he did not like our closeness with him. We are put into dilemma and unable to convince both the children to reconcile the situation. Please advise.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the strained relationships between your sons and their wives, as well as the tension between your sons themselves. Here are some suggestions that may help:

Open and honest communication: Encourage open and honest communication between all family members. Try to create a safe and non-judgmental environment where everyone can express their thoughts, concerns, and feelings. Act as a mediator, actively listening to each party and facilitating productive discussions.

Family counseling: Consider seeking the help of a family counselor or therapist who specializes in resolving family conflicts. A professional can provide guidance and help navigate the complexities of the situation, facilitating healthier communication and promoting understanding among family members.

Individual conversations: Have one-on-one conversations with each of your sons to understand their perspectives and concerns. Encourage them to share their feelings openly and without interruption. This can help you gain insight into their individual experiences and provide a foundation for finding common ground.

Encourage empathy and understanding: Emphasize the importance of empathy and understanding in resolving conflicts. Help your sons and their spouses see things from each other's perspectives, fostering compassion and promoting reconciliation.

Promote shared experiences: Find opportunities for your sons and their families to spend time together in a neutral and relaxed environment. Encourage activities that promote bonding, such as family outings, celebrations, or vacations. Creating positive shared experiences can help rebuild connections and mend relationships.

Set boundaries: While it's important to encourage reconciliation, it's equally important to set and maintain healthy boundaries. Ensure that everyone understands the need for respect and mutual consideration, both within the family and between the spouses. Reinforce the importance of maintaining healthy relationships while respecting individual autonomy.

Lead by example: Show your sons and their spouses that you value and prioritize healthy relationships. Demonstrate positive communication, respect, and understanding in your own interactions with them and with your wife. Lead by example and encourage them to do the same.

Remember, resolving family conflicts takes time, effort, and understanding from all parties involved. It may be helpful to seek professional guidance from a family therapist who can provide tailored advice based on a deeper understanding of your family dynamics.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  | Answer  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Relationship
Hi sir, I am 42 years old married. Living along with father and mother. My father is retired and mother is housewife. Since long I am not speaking with father because of his rude and illogical behavior, and since mother always takes fathers side so stopped speaking with mother too. We all are living in same flat along with my wife and children. I do not know how to deal with father and mother since they do not want to live separate also. Because of behaviour of father and mother our relatives also do not come to home. Please guide us since I do not know how to behave. One side I wanted to be good son and other side not able to bear the situation.
Ans: Thank you for sharing your situation. It's clear that you deeply value your role as a good son, yet you’re feeling trapped in a challenging environment. Balancing respect for your parents with your own emotional well-being requires patience and a plan. Let’s approach this step by step.

Understanding the Dynamics
Your Father’s Behavior:
His rudeness or illogical behavior may stem from age, personality, or even deeper frustrations that he hasn't expressed. Often, retired individuals struggle with feelings of lost authority or purpose, which may manifest as controlling or negative behavior.

Your Mother’s Role:
Your mother’s tendency to side with your father might not mean she agrees with him entirely but could reflect her way of maintaining peace. She might feel torn but unable to express it openly.

Your Feelings:
It’s important to acknowledge that your frustration is valid. However, remaining in silence and avoiding communication won’t resolve the underlying issues. It may actually deepen the distance.

Steps to Address the Situation
Break the Silence Gradually:
Start by speaking with your mother in a non-confrontational manner. Share how you feel without placing blame. Use “I” statements to express yourself, such as:

“I’ve been feeling very disconnected, and I miss having open communication with you and Dad. I want us to understand each other better.”

Initiate a Calm Conversation with Your Father:
Timing is key. Choose a moment when he is relaxed. Keep the focus on your desire to improve the relationship rather than pointing out his faults. For instance:

“Dad, I know we’ve had our differences, but I value our relationship. I’d like us to find ways to communicate better.”

Set Boundaries Respectfully:
If certain behaviors trigger conflict, it’s okay to set boundaries. Communicate them kindly but firmly, such as:

“I’d appreciate it if we could avoid certain topics that lead to arguments. I think it will help us get along better.”

Involve Your Wife and Children:
Encourage your wife to participate in creating a positive environment. Small gestures, like involving your parents in family activities or decisions, can help them feel included and respected.

Bridge the Gap with Relatives:
Relatives may stay away because of the tension at home. Once you begin rebuilding communication with your parents, invite close relatives for small gatherings to create a more welcoming atmosphere.

Consider Mediation or Counseling:
If direct conversations don’t lead to improvements, involving a neutral mediator, such as a family counselor, can help address issues in a structured way.

Changing Your Perspective
Your parents’ behavior may not change overnight, but your approach can influence the dynamic. Remember, it’s not about winning arguments but about fostering harmony. Small, consistent efforts to connect, like sharing meals or discussing lighter topics, can gradually ease the tension.

Taking Care of Yourself
While rebuilding family relationships, don’t forget your own mental and emotional health. Find time for activities that bring you peace and joy, whether it’s hobbies, spending time with your wife and kids, or seeking support from friends.

Relationships with parents can be complex, especially when expectations clash. However, by taking the first step and showing willingness to reconnect, you can slowly shift the situation. It’s a process, but the effort is worth it.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 20, 2024

Listen
Relationship
Dear Anu, My son is 17years and has a affinity towards his mother it seems. Whenever i ask any questions about his studies and plans he shouts at me and misbehaves. I have stopped talking to him because of this. I don't know whether he likes me or not. He seems very content with his computer and his friends.. How can i build a relation with him. Also same with my wife. She does not talk to my parents neither to nay of my relatives. I tried on many occasions to make her realize that this is not okay. My Father is 82 and is longing to talk to her and stay with us...I do not know what is the issue with her. I do not abject to anything she does. How can i convince her...
Ans: Dear Trilok,
Why are you so intent on making people be with you or like you? If they don't see value in you, it's their misfortune maybe. This is one line of thought.
Another line of thought could be: Are there other ways of actually connecting with them? You son perhaps may bond better with you over a sport that the two of you can play BUT may connect with his mother over a conversation. Do not expect the same kind of connection...he's your son...rather than complain about what's not happening, how about trying a different approach and make things happen. See what interests him and bond with him on that!
Now with what your wife does...you really must find out what makes her not want to talk to your father. Maybe instead, you can invite your father to stay and encourage a conversation between him and your wife. And please don't form an opinion that just because your wife refuses to talk to your father, your son refuses to talk to you. It's two very different situations...

Stopping to talk to your son or wonder what's wrong with your wife only means that you have managed to externalize the issue and you will soon find reasons to blame them for a failing relationship. Instead assume charge and do what it takes to bond with your family...it works!

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
Madam, I have two sons, one aged 22 yrs (is working as a computer hardware support executive and is working hard) and another, aged 17 years (just appearing for his 12th std board exams in Commerce stream). I have obtained a divorce from my wife in sept 2023, after a legal process of 15 months. The divorce was a result of extra marital relationship by my wife for several years and she abruptly leaving the house in april 2022 without proper good byes and without "settling" my sons. My sons have been pulling on so long since they do not want me to get depressed. Particularly the younger one is apparently just going through life as a formality. Could you kindly suggest me how to keep them afloat and motivated, and retain / develop the zest which they had earlier
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This is really sad and I can only imagine what you and the boys must be going through.
Any parent/loved one leaving without a trace does not offer closure and as much as the three of you have moved on, it can get tough making the mind understand and why it all happened.
There is NO clear answer to a WHY as it can only be derived out of one's own perceptions; hence make a story that helps you all move on...
1. Sit down with the boys and instead of reasoning out with them as to WHY it all happened, try and focus on WHAT NEXT?
This transition from WHY to WHAT NEXT brings out a series of options that guide you to transition into the next phase of life. It's not easy BUT possible only if you make that humble attempt.
2. Each of you need to heal from what's happened and the only way that is going to happen if you move into a positive space looking forward to what's in store for you.
3. The boys will slowly move on with career and other stuff BUT do make sure to tell them that 'not all women make similar choices'...this is to ensure that they go on to have healthy relationships in future. Motivate your younger one to join sports/gym; this ensures that he displaces any seething anger that he is carrying. If this does not work, take him to a professional who can help him through the struggle hat he is facing.
4. On your part, move into a space where you have a good social circle and thrive in your work as well. Seeing this, your boys will move away from taking care of you to supporting you. One step at a time...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1654 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
Listen
Relationship
I am 67 yrs.old female staying with my husband.We have 2sons younger one is having problems with his wife right from the beginning of their marriage.They have a one year old daughter too.My son blames us for his problems as it was arranged marriage and doesn't talk to any family members.Once their fights led to preparation for divorce but at that point both decided to stay together and tried for child .Now the child is one year old but they behave same.This causes so much distress to me .Pl.help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Arranged or Love marriage; the two people in the marriage are responsible for how and what they experience in it.
Kindly don't take the trouble of accepting the blame that very conveniently your son is transferring to you instead him taking charge of his marriage.
If it was the case that the marriage was going on wonderfully well, would he have applauded you for finding him a good bride? No, right? So, how is it that when things go downhill, he thinks he needs to pin the blame on you...
Kindly ignore; let him realize his duties as a responsible adult and a responsible partner and do the needful. Your job as a mother and mother-in-law is to support them through the process of them rebuilding their marriage.
And even in your conversations with them, if you hear him lashing at you, be absolutely silent on it (difficult but not impossible) and then ask: What is it that I can do to support the two of you?
It will give him the message that you area not going to take the blame and that you are passing the baton back to him to handle his marriage.
Every relationship issue must be dealt with by the people who are part of it as a stakeholder. The rest are support staff...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9852 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 11, 2025Hindi
Money
My husband recently turned 60 Iam concerned about certain decisions he had taken in the recent past and would like guidance He bought a small flat 4 years ago with a loan from LIC on a 14 year old term He is a Consultant with serious health issues hence no insurance was given for the housing loan His income is about a lakh and above as and when there are projects and his treatment and medications coast roughly around 40k Loan amount is about 30k His credit card is used the max and now he has to pay 5lakh to clear the same I have few policies in my name and no major savings as the financial scenario had always been like whatever money comes goes into repaying the loan even the savings were spent that way Iam 56 and dont have a job Kindly let me know if thwre is any way we can get out of this mess atleast now
Ans: It’s not easy to speak openly about financial struggles. You've shown great strength and awareness. At this stage in life, decisions can feel heavy. But with the right steps, clarity and control can still be brought back.

You both are doing your best despite health and income challenges. Let us now analyse your case carefully and guide you with a step-by-step 360-degree plan. The goal is to reduce stress, regain control, and protect the future.

? Understanding the Current Financial Picture

– Your husband is 60. He works as a consultant.
– His income depends on projects. There is no steady monthly income.
– Health issues are serious. Treatment and medicines cost around Rs 40,000 monthly.
– The housing loan was taken 4 years ago from LIC Housing. Loan tenure is 14 years.
– Loan EMI is Rs 30,000 per month (assumed from your message).
– Credit card outstanding is Rs 5 lakhs. It is maxed out.
– There’s no insurance cover on the home loan due to health issues.
– You are 56. No current job or steady income.
– All savings have been used to repay loans.
– There are some policies in your name but no mention of maturity values.

Your family is clearly under debt pressure, health costs, and irregular income. But there are ways to restructure and rebuild slowly.

? First Focus – Debt Prioritisation and Restructuring

– Housing loan is Rs 30,000 EMI and will go on for 10 more years.
– Credit card dues are Rs 5 lakhs, with very high interest (35–45% annually).
– This is a red flag. You are in a repayment trap.
– Credit card dues must be handled first.

Take the following steps urgently:

– Stop using the credit card completely. Block it if needed.
– Approach the card issuer and request for a settlement plan or restructuring.
– Explain your financial condition clearly and ask for an interest waiver or long-term EMI option.
– In many cases, they agree to settle dues if you show inability to pay.
– Try to convert this Rs 5 lakh into a structured EMI plan.
– Target Rs 8,000–Rs 10,000 per month repayment with 0% interest if possible.

Reducing card interest will ease pressure on your cash flow.

? Second Focus – Managing the Home Loan

– LIC Housing Finance loans are generally inflexible but not impossible to manage.
– Contact them and ask for EMI reduction or tenure extension due to health issues.
– If the EMI of Rs 30,000 is becoming unaffordable, request for temporary EMI holiday.
– Check if interest-only payment is allowed for 6–12 months.
– Many lenders offer relief support in hardship. You must proactively ask.
– If no help from LIC, explore balance transfer to another lender with flexible terms.
– Try cooperative banks or smaller NBFCs who allow interest-only payments.

Home loan is a secured loan. So restructuring is possible. But early action is critical.

? Third Focus – Health Expenses and Alternatives

– Rs 40,000 per month for health care is too high, especially with debt.
– List down current medicines, tests, and treatments being done.
– Check if government hospitals or charitable trusts can offer the same at lower cost.
– For chronic diseases, many NGOs and pharma companies offer medicine at reduced cost.
– Apply for patient support programs from pharma brands.
– Also, check Ayushman Bharat scheme eligibility (depending on your card status).
– You may be eligible for free or subsidised treatment in empanelled hospitals.
– Ask doctors if generic medicines are available to reduce cost.

Reducing health cost by even Rs 10,000 monthly will help debt repayment.

? Fourth Focus – Your Role and Income Options

– You are 56. You are mentally active and seeking solutions. That is admirable.
– If possible, consider part-time or home-based earning.
– Areas like online tutoring, typing work, spoken English classes, or sewing can work.
– Even Rs 5000 per month income from your side will ease pressure.
– You can also try selling small food items, pickles, or snacks if you enjoy cooking.
– Many ladies your age run online micro-businesses using WhatsApp groups.
– Don’t aim for big income. Just stable and regular inflow is enough.
– This can also boost your confidence and create emotional stability.

You can become a contributor, not just a dependent.

? Fifth Focus – Review of Insurance and Existing Policies

– Your husband has no insurance on home loan due to health issues.
– You have few policies. But details are not shared.

Do this immediately:

– List down all policy names, premium paid, start year, and current surrender value.
– Avoid keeping traditional plans that give 3–4% return.
– If the plans are ULIPs, endowment, or money-back, surrender them if not maturing soon.
– Reinvest only after loans are under control.
– At this stage, you should not have insurance-linked investments.
– If any policy is about to mature in the next 2 years, wait and use maturity money for debt.

Cash flow must come first. Insurance-based savings can wait.

? Sixth Focus – Future Protection Must Be Minimal Yet Strong

– You both are nearing retirement or already retired in practical terms.
– Your future needs financial stability more than return.

Take these steps only when loans reduce:

– Get a small health insurance policy for yourself, if not already covered.
– If no insurer accepts due to age or health, keep Rs 50,000 to Rs 1 lakh in savings only for medical use.
– Don’t take annuity or pension plans. They lock up money.
– Don’t buy any new LIC or investment policy now.
– Protect your current income and reduce expenses. That itself is protection.

At your age, liquidity is more important than return.

? Seventh Focus – Mental Health and Family Discussion

– Stress is high in your household. Medical, financial, and emotional load is heavy.
– Please have an open talk with your husband and close family.
– Involve your children or siblings if they can support emotionally or financially.
– Sometimes even Rs 50,000 short-term help from a relative can reduce credit card stress.
– If not financially, ask for their help to handle bank or credit calls or paperwork.
– Support reduces burden on your mind. That helps in decision-making.
– Also, try simple breathing or spiritual practice. Inner strength helps in hard times.

Mental peace gives space for financial recovery.

? Eighth Focus – Role of Certified Financial Planner

– Your situation involves debt, illness, no regular income, and weak insurance.
– You should consult a Certified Financial Planner (CFP) to restructure cash flow.
– They will help create a plan that focuses on survival first, savings later.
– A CFP can also assess your old policies and guide surrender or hold.
– They give monthly tracking support. That will keep you disciplined.
– Most importantly, they will not try to sell products. They give strategy.

Right financial guidance now can protect your remaining 20+ years of life.

? Ninth Focus – What to Avoid at This Stage

– Don’t take any new loans to repay old ones.
– Don’t fall for agents who offer "loan on property without CIBIL check".
– Don’t invest in any product promising fixed income of 10% or more.
– Don’t invest in real estate or gold.
– Don’t buy new insurance policies now.
– Don’t take personal loans from NBFCs without checking full charges.
– Avoid investing in direct mutual funds without guidance.

This is the time to protect what you have. Not to grow. Safety first.

? Finally – Your Way Forward, One Step at a Time

– List all loans, dues, and policies on paper today itself.
– Contact credit card company and negotiate for restructuring.
– Reach out to LIC Housing and request temporary EMI relief.
– Cut health care costs where possible using trust hospitals and generic medicines.
– Explore small income ideas from home. Use your time as an asset.
– Review and possibly surrender low-value policies in your name.
– Get emotional support from family and mental clarity from a Certified Financial Planner.
– Start saving Rs 1000 monthly after all this. Slowly build emergency fund.

It is never too late to clean up and rebuild. Step by step, it is possible.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |9852 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Money
Hi sir/madam we have lot of debts total 65laks debt including credit card s and Loan and in law's debt , because of bad cibil score we are not getting any bank loans .. we have upto 50laks debt from different different people only and remaining are credit cards and loan in that we are paying high interest for some amount..I have 2years old child due to take Care of him left my job last year and only income is from my husband side that is monthly 72000 ... Lot of pressure no savings and we don't have any property.. only one house in village that's belongs to in law's,how we can get out from this situation ... Please guide me in the right way ... Thank you Sir
Ans: You are managing a very difficult phase with great courage. Taking care of a 2-year-old, managing debts, and surviving on one income needs strength. That is commendable. There is always a way out, and step by step, things can be brought under control. Let us assess your situation and guide you with a 360-degree plan.

Let us start with each area.

? Current Debt Situation – Assessment and Analysis

– Your total debt is around Rs 65 lakhs.
– Out of this, Rs 50 lakhs is from private sources like friends, relatives, and others.
– The remaining includes credit card dues and loans from banks or NBFCs.
– Credit cards usually charge very high interest. Sometimes it goes above 40% annually.
– Loans from informal sources may also have high interest, and may not offer flexibility.
– Your family income is Rs 72,000 per month.
– No savings are left. You are paying EMIs and interests mostly.

This is a high debt-to-income ratio. Your first goal should be reducing the financial stress.

? Your Current Life Priorities

– Your child is 2 years old and needs full-time care.
– You are currently not working. That limits income inflow.
– You stay in a house which is in your in-laws' name.
– There is no other property or asset for liquidation.
– You are not eligible for formal loans due to poor CIBIL score.

You are in a repayment trap. So planning cash flow is the first step. Let us go ahead.

? Immediate Steps to Reduce Monthly Pressure

– Prepare a simple monthly budget with basic needs only.
– Cut all non-essential expenses like OTT subscriptions, outings, or extra phone plans.
– Set aside a fixed monthly amount only for basic household needs.
– Whatever remains should go for EMI and loan interest.
– Check if some credit card EMIs can be converted into longer-term EMIs at lower rate.
– Talk to credit card companies. Request them to restructure dues based on your situation.
– In some cases, they may reduce interest or give longer repayment time.
– Prioritise repayment of highest-interest loans first. Credit cards are usually on top.

Even Rs 3000 saved monthly can make a difference in this cycle over time.

? Family and Social Debt – A Special Strategy Needed

– You mentioned Rs 50 lakhs is taken from different individuals.
– These are often friends, relatives, or informal contacts.
– Arrange all these borrowings on paper.
– Write down names, total borrowed, repayment timeline, and interest agreed.
– Some of them may have flexible repayment expectations.
– Be honest and explain your situation to them openly.
– Request for time, restructuring, or even a temporary pause.
– You may be surprised. Many people value honesty and will support.
– Try to combine these into 3-4 groups based on urgency.
– Prioritise those who are putting more pressure or charging high interest.

Consolidating this data is emotionally hard but will reduce stress later.

? Improving Your Credit Health Gradually

– Bad CIBIL score can be improved. But it takes time and method.
– Keep paying minimum dues on credit cards on time.
– Avoid new missed payments at all cost.
– Do not apply for any more loans now. That will reduce your credit score further.
– Keep only 1 or 2 cards active, close or block others to reduce temptation.
– Use those cards for basic needs only, if needed.
– Repay small loans or cards first and get them closed.
– One closed loan improves your credit history.
– Within 12 to 18 months, you can start seeing better credit score trends.

Your CIBIL score is not permanent. It is only temporary and can be corrected.

? Exploring Income Opportunities – Even If Small

– Your husband is earning Rs 72,000. That is a good base income.
– Any small income from your side will help boost cash flow.
– Since you are at home with a child, try online work options.
– Content writing, tutoring, transcription, or simple data entry are good starts.
– You can teach basic classes to 1-2 kids from home, if possible.
– Try homemade food orders, tiffin services, or simple snacks selling.
– Even if you earn Rs 5000 to Rs 8000 monthly, it will help.
– Focus on work that doesn’t affect child care but gives steady income.

When income grows, debt pressure automatically reduces. Even small income is useful.

? Financial Habits – A Strong Foundation Needed

– Start a habit of noting down expenses daily in a diary or app.
– Encourage your husband also to track and review monthly spending.
– Build a monthly review routine on 1st of every month.
– Mark which debts you are closing slowly.
– Celebrate small wins. It will keep you both motivated.
– Avoid cash spending. Use digital modes to track better.
– Avoid lending money to anyone during this phase.
– Focus only on your financial health and goals.

Discipline is more powerful than income in managing financial stress.

? Insurance – Protection Must Be Revisited

– Check if your husband has term insurance. If not, take one urgently.
– It should cover 10-15 times of his annual income.
– Avoid ULIPs, traditional endowment, or money-back plans.
– Those are expensive and give low return.
– Just go for pure term life cover. Premium is low.
– Health insurance must be active. That should cover you, your husband and child.
– Hospital expenses can break your budget and create more loans.
– If you don’t have cover, take a family floater with minimum Rs 5 lakhs.
– Don’t depend on employer insurance alone.

Protection gives peace of mind when income is limited and loans are high.

? Investment Planning – Not Now, But Keep This in Mind

– Right now, investment is not your priority.
– Your focus should be only on loan reduction and cash flow improvement.
– Once you start saving at least Rs 5000 monthly, then think of investing.
– When you are ready, start investing via regular funds with the help of a Certified Financial Planner.
– Don’t go for direct funds. Those require expertise and time, which you may not have now.
– Regular plans through an expert will help with proper review, rebalancing and risk reduction.
– Start with low-risk balanced or hybrid funds when ready.
– Don’t go for index funds. They work without active decision-making.
– In your situation, you need strategy, not passive management.

First fix your financial house. Then slowly move to investments with guidance.

? Role of Certified Financial Planner – Not Optional in Your Case

– Your situation is complex and emotional.
– A Certified Financial Planner (CFP) can guide with full planning.
– They will not only suggest mutual funds.
– They help in budgeting, debt reduction, insurance, investments, and long-term financial goals.
– They will track your debt movement and coach you through recovery.
– You can also ask them to talk to creditors if needed.
– Having a professional removes pressure from your mind.
– It creates direction, accountability and hope.

You are not alone. Support from a planner is like having a coach for your money.

? Emotional and Family Support – Use It Well

– Please share your situation with close family members.
– Ask if any of them can give interest-free loans or support.
– Even a short-term pause in debt collection will help you breathe.
– Encourage your husband to take care of his mental health too.
– Managing pressure daily affects relationships.
– Talk regularly. Plan together. Review every week.
– Avoid blame games or finger-pointing. That delays recovery.

Staying united as a family is your biggest strength right now.

? Legal Angle – Keep This in Mind

– If any creditor is harassing or threatening illegally, take legal help.
– Credit card companies cannot visit home or threaten physically.
– You can file a police complaint if anyone behaves violently.
– Keep written communication for all deals. Avoid oral agreements.
– In extreme cases, you can explore legal debt relief options.
– These include debt settlement, restructuring, or insolvency code (if no way out).
– But that should be last option after all other steps.

Use law as support, not a first step. Prevention is better than conflict.

? Finally – Hope and Direction Are Both Possible

– You are already brave to face this head-on.
– You have taken a wise first step by seeking guidance.
– Now break your goals into 3 parts: reduce debt, increase income, protect future.
– Step by step, reduce one high-interest debt.
– Stay consistent with your tracking and discipline.
– Your situation can change within 2-3 years with small steady actions.
– Don’t lose hope. Your child will grow. Your income will grow.
– Start now. Stay focused. Keep building small wins every month.

We believe in your recovery and future progress.

Best Regards,
K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
Chief Financial Planner,
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Nayagam P

Nayagam P P  |9419 Answers  |Ask -

Career Counsellor - Answered on Jul 25, 2025

Career
Bsc computer science Delhi University or VIT bhopal CSE cloud computing.....which is better
Ans: Poonam, Delhi University’s three-year B.Sc. (Hons Computer Science follows a Choice Based Credit System with 14 core papers—including Programming in C++, Java, Data Structures, Operating Systems, Computer Networks, Design and Analysis of Algorithms, Database Management Systems, Theory of Computation, Artificial Intelligence and Computer Graphics—supplemented by discipline-specific electives, generic electives and skill-enhancement courses totaling 140 credits under CBCS. The program enjoys AICTE approval, UGC recognition, NAAC ‘A+’ accreditation, a Central Placement Cell that achieved an 88.42% placement ratio in 2022-23 with 252 offers from 78 companies (highest-to-median packages undisclosed) and median UG packages of ?5.5 LPA (three-year) and ?8.5 LPA (four-year) as per NIRF 2024. DU benefits from a highly experienced, research-active faculty, extensive university clubs and industry tie-ups for internships, but admits only via DU-CET with limited seat flexibility and minimal specializations beyond core CS.

In contrast, VIT Bhopal’s four-year B.Tech CSE (Cloud Computing and Automation) is a 160-credit program featuring 55 credits of core CS (Data Structures, Algorithms, Operating Systems, Networks), 12 credits of cloud architecture and services, 15 elective credits (AI, ML, IoT, Cybersecurity, DevOps, Containerization, Blockchain), plus university and soft-skill courses under a Fully Flexible Credit System. Accredited by UGC, NAAC A++ (2021), NBA and ABET-aligned FFCS, it boasts 100% doctoral faculty, a 1:70–1:100 faculty-student ratio, dedicated cloud-computing labs, PARAM HPC access and a centralized VIT Career Development Centre recording over 90% placement for CSE branches with average packages near ?11 LPA and marquee recruiters across IT and core sectors. VIT offers semester-wise elective choice, lateral exit options and interdisciplinary projects, but commands higher fees (~?7.92 L) and admits via VIT-EEE or JEE Main rank.

While DU’s B.Sc. CS delivers rigorous theoretical grounding, diverse electives and cost-effective public-university benefits with strong placement support for core CS roles, VIT Bhopal’s CSE (Cloud Computing) provides specialized industry-aligned cloud curriculum, superior lab infrastructure, flexible credit system, higher placement percentages, and stronger corporate partnerships—albeit at greater cost and commitment.

Recommendation: For a student prioritizing a cost-effective, broad theoretical foundation with reputable public-university prestige and adequate placement infrastructure, B.Sc. (Hons.) CS at Delhi University is compelling. Conversely, for those seeking specialized cloud computing expertise, cutting-edge labs, flexible curriculum choices, higher placement rates and global industry tie-ups—even at higher fees—the B.Tech CSE (Cloud Computing and Automation) at VIT Bhopal is more aligned with emerging technology careers. All the BEST for a Prosperous Future!

Follow RediffGURUS to Know More on 'Careers | Money | Health | Relationships'.

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

Close  

You haven't logged in yet. To ask a question, Please Log in below
Login

A verification OTP will be sent to this
Mobile Number / Email

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to

Resend OTP in120seconds

Dear User, You have not registered yet. Please register by filling the fields below to get expert answers from our Gurus
Sign up

By signing up, you agree to our
Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy

Already have an account?

Enter OTP
A 6 digit code has been sent to Mobile

Resend OTP in120seconds

x