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Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jun 01, 2023

Ashish Sehgal has over 20 years of experience as a counsellor. He holds a doctorate in neuro linguistic programming, mental health and social welfare.He is certified in neurolinguistics by both the Society of NLP and the American Board of NLP.... more
Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I'm 66 yrs old retired having two sons, both married according to their choice. My wife 60 going to retire in a couple of months. My elder son who is a Bank executive married since 10 years and issueless. The younger son working as an executive in KPMG married since 4 years and having a child. Due some misunderstanding with the their wives the sons are at times not in talking terms with us. My sons are also not in talking terms with each other. In the recent days the elder son directly instigated not to keep contact with the younger one because he did not like our closeness with him. We are put into dilemma and unable to convince both the children to reconcile the situation. Please advise.

Ans: I'm sorry to hear about the strained relationships between your sons and their wives, as well as the tension between your sons themselves. Here are some suggestions that may help:

Open and honest communication: Encourage open and honest communication between all family members. Try to create a safe and non-judgmental environment where everyone can express their thoughts, concerns, and feelings. Act as a mediator, actively listening to each party and facilitating productive discussions.

Family counseling: Consider seeking the help of a family counselor or therapist who specializes in resolving family conflicts. A professional can provide guidance and help navigate the complexities of the situation, facilitating healthier communication and promoting understanding among family members.

Individual conversations: Have one-on-one conversations with each of your sons to understand their perspectives and concerns. Encourage them to share their feelings openly and without interruption. This can help you gain insight into their individual experiences and provide a foundation for finding common ground.

Encourage empathy and understanding: Emphasize the importance of empathy and understanding in resolving conflicts. Help your sons and their spouses see things from each other's perspectives, fostering compassion and promoting reconciliation.

Promote shared experiences: Find opportunities for your sons and their families to spend time together in a neutral and relaxed environment. Encourage activities that promote bonding, such as family outings, celebrations, or vacations. Creating positive shared experiences can help rebuild connections and mend relationships.

Set boundaries: While it's important to encourage reconciliation, it's equally important to set and maintain healthy boundaries. Ensure that everyone understands the need for respect and mutual consideration, both within the family and between the spouses. Reinforce the importance of maintaining healthy relationships while respecting individual autonomy.

Lead by example: Show your sons and their spouses that you value and prioritize healthy relationships. Demonstrate positive communication, respect, and understanding in your own interactions with them and with your wife. Lead by example and encourage them to do the same.

Remember, resolving family conflicts takes time, effort, and understanding from all parties involved. It may be helpful to seek professional guidance from a family therapist who can provide tailored advice based on a deeper understanding of your family dynamics.

You may like to see similar questions and answers below

Dr Ashish

Dr Ashish Sehgal  |119 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 21, 2024

Relationship
Hi sir, I am 42 years old married. Living along with father and mother. My father is retired and mother is housewife. Since long I am not speaking with father because of his rude and illogical behavior, and since mother always takes fathers side so stopped speaking with mother too. We all are living in same flat along with my wife and children. I do not know how to deal with father and mother since they do not want to live separate also. Because of behaviour of father and mother our relatives also do not come to home. Please guide us since I do not know how to behave. One side I wanted to be good son and other side not able to bear the situation.
Ans: Thank you for sharing your situation. It's clear that you deeply value your role as a good son, yet you’re feeling trapped in a challenging environment. Balancing respect for your parents with your own emotional well-being requires patience and a plan. Let’s approach this step by step.

Understanding the Dynamics
Your Father’s Behavior:
His rudeness or illogical behavior may stem from age, personality, or even deeper frustrations that he hasn't expressed. Often, retired individuals struggle with feelings of lost authority or purpose, which may manifest as controlling or negative behavior.

Your Mother’s Role:
Your mother’s tendency to side with your father might not mean she agrees with him entirely but could reflect her way of maintaining peace. She might feel torn but unable to express it openly.

Your Feelings:
It’s important to acknowledge that your frustration is valid. However, remaining in silence and avoiding communication won’t resolve the underlying issues. It may actually deepen the distance.

Steps to Address the Situation
Break the Silence Gradually:
Start by speaking with your mother in a non-confrontational manner. Share how you feel without placing blame. Use “I” statements to express yourself, such as:

“I’ve been feeling very disconnected, and I miss having open communication with you and Dad. I want us to understand each other better.”

Initiate a Calm Conversation with Your Father:
Timing is key. Choose a moment when he is relaxed. Keep the focus on your desire to improve the relationship rather than pointing out his faults. For instance:

“Dad, I know we’ve had our differences, but I value our relationship. I’d like us to find ways to communicate better.”

Set Boundaries Respectfully:
If certain behaviors trigger conflict, it’s okay to set boundaries. Communicate them kindly but firmly, such as:

“I’d appreciate it if we could avoid certain topics that lead to arguments. I think it will help us get along better.”

Involve Your Wife and Children:
Encourage your wife to participate in creating a positive environment. Small gestures, like involving your parents in family activities or decisions, can help them feel included and respected.

Bridge the Gap with Relatives:
Relatives may stay away because of the tension at home. Once you begin rebuilding communication with your parents, invite close relatives for small gatherings to create a more welcoming atmosphere.

Consider Mediation or Counseling:
If direct conversations don’t lead to improvements, involving a neutral mediator, such as a family counselor, can help address issues in a structured way.

Changing Your Perspective
Your parents’ behavior may not change overnight, but your approach can influence the dynamic. Remember, it’s not about winning arguments but about fostering harmony. Small, consistent efforts to connect, like sharing meals or discussing lighter topics, can gradually ease the tension.

Taking Care of Yourself
While rebuilding family relationships, don’t forget your own mental and emotional health. Find time for activities that bring you peace and joy, whether it’s hobbies, spending time with your wife and kids, or seeking support from friends.

Relationships with parents can be complex, especially when expectations clash. However, by taking the first step and showing willingness to reconnect, you can slowly shift the situation. It’s a process, but the effort is worth it.

Warm regards,
Ashish Sehgal

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Mar 08, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Mar 06, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
Madam, I have two sons, one aged 22 yrs (is working as a computer hardware support executive and is working hard) and another, aged 17 years (just appearing for his 12th std board exams in Commerce stream). I have obtained a divorce from my wife in sept 2023, after a legal process of 15 months. The divorce was a result of extra marital relationship by my wife for several years and she abruptly leaving the house in april 2022 without proper good byes and without "settling" my sons. My sons have been pulling on so long since they do not want me to get depressed. Particularly the younger one is apparently just going through life as a formality. Could you kindly suggest me how to keep them afloat and motivated, and retain / develop the zest which they had earlier
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
This is really sad and I can only imagine what you and the boys must be going through.
Any parent/loved one leaving without a trace does not offer closure and as much as the three of you have moved on, it can get tough making the mind understand and why it all happened.
There is NO clear answer to a WHY as it can only be derived out of one's own perceptions; hence make a story that helps you all move on...
1. Sit down with the boys and instead of reasoning out with them as to WHY it all happened, try and focus on WHAT NEXT?
This transition from WHY to WHAT NEXT brings out a series of options that guide you to transition into the next phase of life. It's not easy BUT possible only if you make that humble attempt.
2. Each of you need to heal from what's happened and the only way that is going to happen if you move into a positive space looking forward to what's in store for you.
3. The boys will slowly move on with career and other stuff BUT do make sure to tell them that 'not all women make similar choices'...this is to ensure that they go on to have healthy relationships in future. Motivate your younger one to join sports/gym; this ensures that he displaces any seething anger that he is carrying. If this does not work, take him to a professional who can help him through the struggle hat he is facing.
4. On your part, move into a space where you have a good social circle and thrive in your work as well. Seeing this, your boys will move away from taking care of you to supporting you. One step at a time...

All the best!

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1587 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on May 23, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - May 20, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am 67 yrs.old female staying with my husband.We have 2sons younger one is having problems with his wife right from the beginning of their marriage.They have a one year old daughter too.My son blames us for his problems as it was arranged marriage and doesn't talk to any family members.Once their fights led to preparation for divorce but at that point both decided to stay together and tried for child .Now the child is one year old but they behave same.This causes so much distress to me .Pl.help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Arranged or Love marriage; the two people in the marriage are responsible for how and what they experience in it.
Kindly don't take the trouble of accepting the blame that very conveniently your son is transferring to you instead him taking charge of his marriage.
If it was the case that the marriage was going on wonderfully well, would he have applauded you for finding him a good bride? No, right? So, how is it that when things go downhill, he thinks he needs to pin the blame on you...
Kindly ignore; let him realize his duties as a responsible adult and a responsible partner and do the needful. Your job as a mother and mother-in-law is to support them through the process of them rebuilding their marriage.
And even in your conversations with them, if you hear him lashing at you, be absolutely silent on it (difficult but not impossible) and then ask: What is it that I can do to support the two of you?
It will give him the message that you area not going to take the blame and that you are passing the baton back to him to handle his marriage.
Every relationship issue must be dealt with by the people who are part of it as a stakeholder. The rest are support staff...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |577 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Sep 24, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Sep 18, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I am a 52-year-old man. 6 months back I lost my wife accidentally. I have one son and one daughter. My daughter is in 10th and my son is in 3rd year of engineering. In the absence of my wife, my entire house has been collapsed. Most of our relatives make decisions on my behalf. My kids don't listen to me, especially my son. For them, i am just supposed to take care of their needs and continue till the children get settled. Thereafter i should think about my life. It was a quite selfish decision by my children. My wife was a housewife. I am working very hard to give them a better life. But all my efforts are in vain. At present my mom is with me. She is old and trying to help us out but still, my kids don't like her. I have tried hard to ensure that they do not feel the absence of my wife. Everything has been cared for, but at the end of the day, I am alone. I don't know what will be the future. I want to go for a second marriage but my kids have threatened me that they will leave the house immediately even if I give it a thought. My journey has been quite stressful. I have loans which have to be paid by me. I need a partner with whom I can share my feelings, one who cares for me and takes care of me and my children. But in recent situations i am totally stressed and don't know how to handle it. need advise
Ans: Your children, however, seem to be struggling with their own grief and fears about change, and that’s creating tension between their needs and your desire for a second marriage. It sounds like they are clinging to the memory of their mother, which may be why they are so resistant to the idea of you remarrying. While their emotions are understandable, it’s unfair for them to dismiss your own needs or expect you to ignore your feelings for the sake of their expectations.

To handle this situation, it's important to begin by opening up an honest and compassionate dialogue with your children. They may not realize the extent of your loneliness or how much you're shouldering on your own. In this conversation, avoid focusing on remarrying immediately but instead express how you're feeling emotionally. Let them know that just as you’re doing your best to provide for them, you also need support and companionship. This might help them understand that your desire for a partner doesn’t mean you're replacing their mother, but that you need someone to help you heal and navigate life.

Grief counseling or family therapy could be very helpful here as well. Grief affects everyone differently, and a neutral professional can help you all work through these emotions together. Your son and daughter, especially being at different stages of their lives, might benefit from understanding how each of you is processing the loss differently.

As for the practical side, with your mother's help, you're already doing everything you can to keep things together. It's understandable that you need help beyond the daily chores—emotional and relational support is vital for anyone. Your children, though they are resisting now, may come to understand this over time, especially if the focus is on helping them adjust to their own loss first before you push the idea of marriage too far.

Lastly, do not give up on the thought of a second marriage if that’s what your heart truly wants. Your children may eventually understand, but it will take time and patience. Prioritize your emotional well-being and don’t feel guilty for wanting to find love and companionship again. After all, your happiness matters too, and a loving relationship can positively impact both you and your children once they’ve had time to adjust.

In the meantime, take one step at a time: focus on communication, seek external support like therapy, and make sure you're caring for yourself emotionally, even if it's hard right now.

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Latest Questions
Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8235 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2025Hindi
Money
I want to invest in my daughter's education. She is 3 years now. I am investing in Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana. I would like to invest Rs 10,000 to Rs 15,000 every month for her education and future. Can you please suggest the best schemes?
Ans: It’s truly wonderful that you’re thinking about your daughter’s education early.
This habit of planning ahead gives her a strong foundation.

Let’s look at the best way to invest Rs 10,000 to Rs 15,000 monthly.
We will build a 360-degree plan that is simple, stress-free, and goal-focused.

Understanding the Time Horizon
Your daughter is now 3 years old.

You need funds in two stages – school and college.

School needs may arise in 5 to 8 years.

Higher education needs come in 12 to 15 years.

This gives us two time horizons – medium-term and long-term.

Your strategy must match these time goals for right growth.

Your Existing Investment: Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana
This is a good step.

The interest is tax-free.

It gives capital safety and fixed returns.

But returns are not high enough to beat future inflation.

So, this is only a partial solution.

You must add growth-oriented investments for better wealth.

Risk and Reward Balance
Since the goal is more than 10 years away, equity helps.

Equity gives higher returns over the long term.

But it has ups and downs in the short run.

Don’t worry, we will balance this with stable options.

Let us now split your monthly investment.

Suggested Investment Structure (Rs 15,000 Monthly Plan)
You can adjust to Rs 10,000 also.
The structure stays same.

1. Equity Mutual Funds – Rs 9,000
Invest in actively managed equity mutual funds.

Choose diversified funds with consistent past performance.

Actively managed funds are handled by expert fund managers.

They aim to beat the market.

These funds can give better returns than index funds.

Index funds only follow the market.

They don’t protect you in falling markets.

In your case, beating inflation is more important.

So, avoid index funds. Choose regular active mutual funds.

Invest through a Certified Financial Planner or MFD.

Don’t invest directly.

Direct funds look cheaper but give poor guidance.

You may miss fund reviews, rebalancing, or right asset mix.

A Certified Financial Planner ensures your portfolio stays aligned to your goal.

2. Hybrid or Balanced Mutual Funds – Rs 3,000
These funds mix equity and debt.

They reduce risk, and give more stable returns.

Use them for medium-term needs.

School education and coaching expenses may start in 5–7 years.

These funds give moderate returns with lower risk than pure equity.

Invest regularly through SIPs.

Keep investing even during market ups and downs.

3. Debt Fund or Short-Term Recurring Deposit – Rs 2,000
Use this for very short-term or emergency school needs.

Or yearly fees, books, school trips, etc.

Recurring deposits give capital safety and fixed returns.

You can also use debt mutual funds.

These have slightly better tax benefits if held long.

But debt fund returns are now taxed like interest.

Both options are safe and useful for predictable needs.

Investment Planning for Rs 10,000 Monthly Option
If you want to start with Rs 10,000, here is the split.

Rs 6,000 in equity mutual funds (long term)

Rs 2,500 in hybrid mutual funds (medium term)

Rs 1,500 in RD or debt funds (short term)

Benefits of SIPs (Systematic Investment Plans)
SIP builds discipline.

You invest monthly without timing the market.

It gives compounding benefits.

You average the cost by buying in both low and high markets.

SIPs are best for long-term goals like education.

Why Not Index Funds or ETFs?
Index funds copy the market.

They don’t aim to beat it.

No protection in falling markets.

No professional risk management.

Your goal needs customised solutions.

Active funds give this edge.

ETFs are passive. You also need a Demat account.

They suit traders more than long-term savers.

Avoid them for your child’s goal.

Why Not Direct Plans?
Direct funds skip distributor cost.

But they give no human advice.

You are alone to monitor, rebalance, and manage.

Over 15 years, this becomes difficult.

Mistakes can reduce your final amount.

Better to invest via regular plans with Certified Financial Planner.

You get proper handholding and goal tracking.

You can revise portfolio when goals or risks change.

Review and Rebalance Every Year
Your SIPs must be reviewed every year.

You may need to change funds or amount.

Your daughter’s education needs may increase.

So, rebalancing is important.

Don’t keep investing blindly.

Check performance yearly with the help of a Certified Financial Planner.

Create a Goal-Based Investment Tracker
Write your goal in a book or Excel file.

Write monthly SIP, total invested, and expected returns.

Track this once every year.

This gives motivation and clarity.

You will know if you are on track.

Prepare an Emergency Backup
Education plans can face surprises.

Health issues or job loss may affect savings.

Keep a separate emergency fund for 6–12 months expenses.

Don't use your daughter’s fund for other needs.

This helps you stay committed to her dream.

Prepare Mentally for Long Term
Market may go up and down.

Don’t stop SIPs in bad times.

These phases give the best returns later.

Stay patient and goal-focused.

Avoid panic decisions.

Every rupee invested today brings peace later.

Education Inflation is Real
Education costs are rising 8–10% every year.

A Rs 15 lakh course today may cost Rs 30 lakh in 15 years.

Only growth investments can beat this.

Bank FDs and fixed deposits will not be enough.

Use Sukanya for stability and mutual funds for growth.

Tax Considerations You Should Know
Equity mutual funds give tax benefit if sold after 1 year.

LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

Short-term gains taxed at 20%.

Debt fund gains taxed as per your income slab.

Sukanya returns are tax-free.

NPS has tax benefit also, but partial withdrawal only.

Diversify in a Smart Way
Use 3–4 good mutual fund schemes.

Not more than that.

Too many funds confuse tracking.

Keep it simple.

Focus on long-term performance and fund quality.

Add a Term Plan for Yourself
If you’re the earning parent, take term insurance.

It protects your daughter’s education in case of your absence.

Don’t mix insurance with investment.

ULIPs or money-back plans are not suitable.

Take pure term plan. Low premium and high cover.

Don’t Stop SIPs Midway
Many parents stop SIPs after few years.

Don’t do that.

Continue till her college admission.

You will be thankful later.

Start Early, Benefit More
Your daughter is just 3.

You have 15 years.

Starting early gives big compounding benefits.

Even small monthly SIPs become big corpus.

Educate Your Child Gradually
As your daughter grows, teach her about money.

Let her understand savings and goals.

This habit will help her in adult life.

Finally
Planning your daughter’s future is a noble goal.
You have already started the right steps.

Sukanya Yojana gives stability.
Mutual funds give long-term growth.

Use SIPs in actively managed regular plans.
Take guidance from a Certified Financial Planner.

Keep goals written and reviewed.
Invest every month without fail.

Let your money work while you sleep.
And your daughter’s dreams grow strong.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8235 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Apr 15, 2025Hindi
Money
I have sip of 15k in mutual fund & 5k in stock also 1.5k rd, 1k sukanya samriddhi nps 18k pf 7k how much can be amount after 20 years.
Ans: You are already on a steady path.

Your monthly investments are spread across mutual funds, stocks, RD, NPS, PF and Sukanya Samriddhi. A well-diversified structure like this can give strong long-term results.

Let us now look at each part closely.

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Mutual Fund SIP – Rs 15,000 per month

This is the core of your long-term wealth growth.

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Equity mutual funds can give higher returns than FDs or RDs.

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Actively managed funds are better than index funds in many ways.

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Fund managers adjust the portfolio as per market conditions.

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Index funds follow the market blindly without any strategy.

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Your Rs 15,000 SIP for 20 years can become a big amount.

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Discipline is the key. Keep investing without stopping during market falls.

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Use regular plans through MFDs guided by a Certified Financial Planner.

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Direct plans may look cheaper but come with zero guidance or monitoring.

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A regular plan gives long-term relationship-based advice from a certified expert.

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A well-managed SIP for 20 years can build wealth over Rs 1 crore.

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Keep reviewing SIP performance every year with your planner.

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Make changes only if fund consistently underperforms for 2-3 years.

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Stock Investment – Rs 5,000 per month

Investing in stocks shows good risk-taking ability.

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Stock investment can give higher growth than other options.

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But it needs more knowledge and time to track companies.

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Stocks can be volatile. So, stay calm during market ups and downs.

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Avoid panic selling when markets crash.

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Long holding gives the best results in stocks.

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After 20 years, even this Rs 5,000 per month can become a sizeable amount.

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Prefer quality businesses with strong track record and future potential.

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If unsure, shift this to mutual funds under expert guidance.

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Recurring Deposit – Rs 1,500 per month

RD is safe, but returns are low compared to other options.

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RD interest is fully taxable as per your income tax slab.

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Over 20 years, RD will give lowest return in your portfolio.

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You can keep it only for short-term goals or emergency reserve.

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For long-term, shift this to equity mutual funds.

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Or you can put in hybrid mutual funds for slightly lower risk.

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Sukanya Samriddhi Yojana – Rs 1,000 per month

This is a very good scheme for girl child.

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It is safe and backed by the government.

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Interest is tax-free. Maturity is also tax-free.

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Lock-in until 21 years, so it suits long-term education/marriage goal.

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Keep contributing regularly to get maximum maturity benefit.

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You can expect a large corpus after 21 years with steady investment.

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Ideal for disciplined investors who want safe and tax-free returns.

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NPS – Rs 18,000 per month

NPS helps to build retirement corpus over long term.

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Investment is split between equity and debt automatically.

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You can also choose allocation yourself with active choice.

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Equity part can grow well in long term.

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Returns are market-linked, but more stable than pure equity.

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There is lock-in till age 60, so ideal for retirement goal only.

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After retirement, partial amount is tax-free.

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Some part must be used to buy pension (annuity), which is taxable.

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Although annuity is compulsory in NPS, you can plan withdrawals smartly.

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NPS of Rs 18,000 monthly can build a large retirement fund.

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Keep track of performance every year and rebalance if needed.

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Provident Fund – Rs 7,000 per month

EPF or PPF is a low-risk long-term savings tool.

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Interest is tax-free and withdrawal is also tax-free.

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Suits conservative investors looking for safe capital.

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PF works well with equity for balanced growth.

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You already have good exposure across products, which is positive.

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Over 20 years, this amount grows slowly but steadily.

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Don’t stop contributions. It’s your retirement backup.

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You can also open Voluntary PF to increase savings.

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Expected Total Value After 20 Years

Your total monthly savings is Rs 47,500.

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This is very strong commitment for your future.

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With average returns, you may build Rs 2.5 crore to Rs 3 crore.

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If equity performs well, you may reach Rs 3.5 crore or more.

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This depends on discipline, patience and smart review every year.

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Market ups and downs are normal. Stay focused on the 20-year goal.

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Avoid stopping SIPs during crisis. That’s when real wealth is built.

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Diversification helps to reduce risk and increase stability.

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Your current portfolio is well-diversified across equity, debt, and government schemes.

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It is the right balance for long-term investors.

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360 Degree Suggestions for Better Results

Do annual review of all investments with a Certified Financial Planner.

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Check if asset allocation needs to be changed based on your age and goals.

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Increase SIP amount every year as income grows.

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Shift RD money to mutual funds or hybrid funds for better returns.

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Continue Sukanya Samriddhi regularly for daughter’s future.

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Monitor NPS and PF for performance and tax efficiency.

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Avoid direct stocks if you don’t have time or expertise.

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Do not invest in index funds or ETFs.

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Index funds give average returns without any flexibility.

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Active mutual funds have skilled fund managers who track markets better.

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Use regular mutual fund plans through a CFP and MFD channel.

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Direct plans look cheaper but offer no advice or monitoring.

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Regular plan ensures review and goal tracking with expert help.

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Do not invest in real estate unless for own use. It gives low rental returns.

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No need for annuities. They lock your money with low returns.

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Focus on growth-oriented, flexible investment tools like mutual funds.

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Create an emergency fund with at least 6 months’ expenses.

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Take term insurance to protect your family financially.

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Health insurance should also cover family members adequately.

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Tax Rules to Remember

Mutual Fund LTCG above Rs 1.25 lakh is taxed at 12.5%.

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STCG in mutual funds is taxed at 20%.

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RD interest is taxed as per your income slab.

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Sukanya Samriddhi, NPS (partial), PF – tax-free on maturity.

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Plan withdrawals smartly to save taxes in future.

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Finally

You are doing a great job by saving across different tools.

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This structure can give you financial freedom and peace of mind.

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With smart review and regular investing, your 20-year goals can be fulfilled easily.

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Stay committed. Be patient. Don’t chase quick profits.

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Keep it simple. Focus on goals and expert-guided investment.

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Best Regards,
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K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,
?
Chief Financial Planner,
?
www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |8235 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Apr 15, 2025

Money
I want to invest in my childs education born in 2023. What is the best thing in the market?
Ans: Absolutely appreciate your intention to invest early for your child’s education.

This is a thoughtful and wise move.

Your child born in 2023 will likely need funds for college around 2040.

That gives you a long investment horizon of 15+ years.

This gives enough time for compounding to work well.

Let me share a 360-degree investment roadmap for this goal.

This plan is written in a simple tone but with professional depth.

Let us now explore the best available options in the market today.

Understand the Nature of the Goal
Education is a non-negotiable goal.

You cannot postpone or compromise it easily.

It is a high-cost goal due to inflation in education fees.

Hence, your investment must beat education inflation.

Regular savings in a bank will not be enough.

You need growth assets with better long-term returns.

Also, safety and discipline are important.

Tax efficiency matters because the goal is long-term.

You must track progress regularly and adjust if needed.

You must not withdraw before maturity, even during emergencies.

Begin with a Clear Goal Plan
Estimate the year your child will need funds.

For UG courses, it could be in 2040.

For PG, it may be 2043 or later.

Estimate cost of education in today’s value.

Then adjust for education inflation.

Usually, education inflation is around 8–10%.

Do not ignore living costs, books, and hostel fees.

Add buffer for foreign education or special courses.

Split the goal into 2 phases: UG and PG.

Assign different timelines and amounts to each.

Then plan SIPs or lump sums accordingly.

Why Fixed Deposits Are Not Suitable
FD returns are lower than education inflation.

Tax on FD interest reduces actual returns.

Compounding works poorly in FDs.

FDs do not allow automatic step-up in investment.

They also don’t offer any growth during long tenure.

Reinvesting maturity amount each time is inefficient.

Your long-term wealth will remain stagnant.

They are only okay for short-term parking.

Not ideal for a 15 to 20-year education goal.

Avoiding Index Funds for Education Planning
Index funds only copy the market.

They lack human intelligence and decision-making.

They do not outperform in volatile markets.

They carry full market risk without active adjustment.

In falling markets, they fall fully with no defense.

Index funds cannot shift from poor sectors.

Actively managed funds can change strategy mid-way.

Fund managers can shift to better sectors.

Hence, for education goals, prefer active mutual funds.

Debt Mutual Funds: Use Them Carefully
Debt funds are useful for short-term education goals.

Also useful 2-3 years before goal maturity.

They reduce risk from sudden equity fall.

But returns are not high for long-term.

Tax treatment is as per income tax slab.

You may pay more tax if in higher slab.

So use debt funds only during last few years.

Do not start education investing with them.

Gold ETFs or Sovereign Gold Bonds: Limited Use
Gold may give inflation-like returns over time.

But it is not consistent year after year.

No dividend or income from gold investment.

Gold prices can stay flat for years.

SGBs are tax-free after 8 years, but lack flexibility.

Hence, use only 5–10% of corpus in gold.

Do not depend only on gold for education goal.

Best Core Strategy: Active Mutual Funds
These are managed by skilled fund managers.

They aim to beat market by smart decisions.

They adjust portfolio based on market situation.

They change allocation between sectors and themes.

They select good companies and avoid weak ones.

Over long term, they can outperform passive funds.

Also, they are well-regulated and transparent.

SIP in active funds gives rupee cost averaging.

Over 15 years, this can create strong corpus.

These are ideal for long-term child education needs.

Disadvantages of Direct Plans
In direct funds, you invest without any guidance.

You need to monitor and rebalance yourself.

Most investors do not review portfolio regularly.

No help to handle underperforming funds.

No one reminds or guides you during market changes.

You may miss out on newer, better opportunities.

Wrong selection or wrong asset mix causes damage.

Instead, choose regular plans through Certified Financial Planner.

You get professional support with goal-based planning.

You stay on track and reduce mistakes.

Systematic Investment Plan (SIP): Best Route
SIP builds habit and discipline in investing.

It removes the pressure of timing the market.

Even small amounts can become big with time.

You can increase SIP every year as income grows.

It helps in averaging cost during market ups and downs.

You remain invested even during market falls.

SIP is a good match for long-term education goals.

Use Step-up SIP for Higher Growth
Step-up SIP means increasing SIP yearly.

This matches your salary or business growth.

It helps beat inflation better over 15 years.

You invest more without much effort.

This results in higher maturity amount.

A Certified Financial Planner can help calculate ideal step-up.

Mix of Equity Mutual Funds Based on Child’s Age
When your child is 0 to 10 years old:

Allocate 90–100% to equity mutual funds.

Use a mix of large-cap, flexi-cap and mid-cap funds.

Add small-cap only if you can tolerate volatility.

Avoid thematic or sectoral funds now.

Keep it simple and diversified.

When your child turns 11–13 years:

Gradually reduce mid- and small-cap exposure.

Shift 20–30% into conservative hybrid funds.

Reduce equity to about 70–80%.

From 14–16 years onward:

Move 40–60% to short-duration debt funds.

This will protect the goal from equity volatility.

Keep rest in flexi-cap and large-cap funds.

1–2 years before goal:

Move entire corpus to liquid and short-term debt funds.

Ensure capital is safe and ready for use.

Use Goal Tracker Every Year
Track if your corpus is growing as per plan.

Review fund performance every year.

Replace underperforming funds with better ones.

Adjust SIP amount if needed.

Increase SIP if inflation rises more than expected.

Use XIRR to check overall returns.

A Certified Financial Planner will do this yearly.

Use Separate Folio for Education Goal
Don’t mix this goal with other investments.

Use one folio for this specific purpose.

This gives clear visibility and control.

You won’t accidentally withdraw for other needs.

It keeps your mental focus intact.

Insurance is Not Investment
Do not mix insurance with child education.

Avoid ULIPs, endowment plans or money-back policies.

They give poor returns and long lock-in.

Mostly 3–5% return only, after charges.

Instead, buy pure term insurance separately.

Invest remaining in good mutual funds.

If you hold any investment-cum-insurance policy:

Do a cost-benefit analysis.

If returns are low, surrender and reinvest.

Redeem carefully to avoid exit load or tax.

Emergency Fund and Term Insurance
Always keep 6–12 months expense as emergency fund.

This avoids breaking child investment during crisis.

Use liquid mutual funds or FD for this.

Also buy term insurance to protect child’s goal.

It should cover at least 15–20 times your annual income.

If anything happens to you, the child’s goal stays safe.

Tax Impact and Smart Withdrawals
Equity MF gains above Rs 1.25 lakh taxed at 12.5%.

This applies only after one year holding.

If sold within 1 year, 20% tax applies.

For debt funds, tax as per income tax slab.

Plan withdrawals over 2–3 financial years.

This reduces tax burden and keeps money liquid.

A Certified Financial Planner can guide tax-efficient exit.

Avoid Lump Sum Late Investment
Don’t wait to invest in final 3–5 years.

Lump sum at that time is risky and stressful.

It may coincide with market downturn.

Start early and do SIP consistently.

Early investment reduces pressure later.

Final Insights
Starting early is your biggest advantage.

You already made a great first step.

Continue SIPs for 15 years with discipline.

Do not panic during market fluctuations.

Review every year with a Certified Financial Planner.

Adjust based on inflation, market and child’s career path.

Keep insurance separate and invest only in mutual funds.

Never stop SIP mid-way unless emergency.

Child’s future deserves consistent planning and care.

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in
https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

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DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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