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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |649 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Oct 03, 2023

Kanchan Rai has 10 years of experience in therapy, nurturing soft skills and leadership coaching. She is the founder of the Let Us Talk Foundation, which offers mindfulness workshops to help people stay emotionally and mentally healthy.
Rai has a degree in leadership development and customer centricity from Harvard Business School, Boston. She is an internationally certified coach from the International Coaching Federation, a global organisation in professional coaching.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Oct 02, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

I'm 27 year old female eldest in family, I was brought up by my grandparents and parents who always told me I need to be good at studies get a job earn well. I did whatever was asked I taught myself to be 'good girl'. But my siblings rebelled and they don't do anything listen to elders and still get away with everything, but they get treated the same way, they get same affection, all their demands are met, while I was their age I was made to earn whatever I wished for and even constantly told no. Now my whole life feels pointless, since all the principles I was taught made my life miserable and I feel like loser. I am not able to appreciate life. Nothing makes me happy, I don't feel like doing anything, whatever I do feels like a chore that I am doing for others. I just wish I die so that I don't have to keep living like this.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, but it's important to remember that you're not alone in experiencing these feelings. Many people go through similar struggles, and it can be helpful to talk about your emotions and seek support. Here are some steps you can consider:

Talk to a Therapist or Counselor: Speaking to a mental health professional can be incredibly beneficial. They can help you explore your feelings, provide guidance on coping strategies, and assist you in finding a sense of purpose and happiness.
Express Your Feelings: Don't keep your feelings bottled up. Share your concerns and frustrations with trusted friends or family members who may be understanding and supportive.
Self-Reflection: Take some time to reflect on your own desires and what truly makes you happy. It's essential to prioritize your own needs and goals, rather than solely conforming to the expectations of others.
Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that everyone's path in life is different. Comparing yourself to your siblings or anyone else can lead to unnecessary stress and unhappiness. Focus on your own journey.
Seek New Experiences: Sometimes trying new things and stepping outside your comfort zone can help you discover what brings you joy and fulfillment. This could involve pursuing new hobbies, interests, or career opportunities.
Practice Self-Care: Make self-care a priority. Engage in activities that bring you peace and relaxation, such as meditation, exercise, or spending time in nature.
Find Your Passion: Discover what truly excites you and gives you a sense of purpose. It might involve exploring different career paths or pursuing further education in a field you're passionate about.
Set Small Goals: Break down your long-term goals into smaller, manageable steps. Achieving these smaller milestones can give you a sense of accomplishment and motivation.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Challenge and reframe negative thoughts. Cognitive-behavioral techniques can help you change your perspective on life and your own worth.
Seek Support Groups: Consider joining support groups or communities where you can connect with others who may be going through similar experiences. Sharing your journey with others can be empowering.
Remember that it's okay to seek help and take the time you need to find your path to happiness. Your life is not defined solely by the expectations placed on you in the past, and you have the power to shape your own future.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1766 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 18, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship
My age is 42 years now. I am an elder son in my family, then my sister and two younger brothers. My father was a clerk in state govt. office. Being an elder son I did all my duties at par with my father. I spent my entire 9 years’ salary on my family, it includes sister marriage, brothers education (Engineering/Polytechnic), their coaching for competitive exams, books other monthly expenses. Under my guidance they both got job. I also performed co-applicant to Education loan to one of my brother. But now my father, mother and brothers betrayed (Beyimaan). Because my younger brother’s wife was selected in state govt. job and my wife is not employed. They kicked off us from their house. All it happens like TV serial. Now my wife also get job in central government under my guidance. My family member also did same with my younger brother and kicked - off them also. Now they ask me to live with them. I am very much in stress. I want to totally detach with my family. I want to close my all relationships with them. I also don’t want my father’s property. But every now and then they call me. They never help me. We live in same city. Please help me out. I don’t want to be part of B. P. and Sugar patient. I want to be a Vinod Khanna dialogue Parva Nahi from film Dayavan.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Time for you to do things for yourself! It may seem selfish at the beginning but taking care of yourself and your needs is self-care above everything else...
For once put your needs before everyone else's and resist any sort of manipulation from family. Serving themselves was their agenda at your expense; why still allow it?
Firmly refuse moving in with them as it won't take them long before they kick you out when things are not in their favour. You have the ability to be by yourself and support yourself...maintaining a healthy distance in fact helps relationships grow stronger. So, time for you to be kind to yourself...

All the best!

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1766 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Dec 05, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Dec 03, 2024Hindi
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Relationship
I'm 25 YO, I've completed my medical degree in BAMS recently and brother is 17YO still in school. I've seen very severe favouritism of my parents towards my brother. I know he's a boy and all and in India, being a boy makes all of your wrong doings right! It's very emotionally distressing for me that even I'm the older child, my parents asks and discuss things with my younger brother but not me :( since the time he was born, I've always been neglected, I used to be a star kid, the getting 10/10 marks in everything. But eventually my self esteem degraded, and I stopped working hard, they have always pointed me out for my looks and my behavior, which was very hurtful. I've been away from my family for 5 years and it literally changed me, I was not depressed anymore, although my self esteem also affected my academic performance and my relationship choices, but somewhat I was happy. But now I'm home, and again, my parents points out my mistakes, my academic that I didn't get MBBS, that I don't even look good, and I'm crazy, I don't even have brains. And my brother who didn't even score 50% is asked and being discussed over everything what to eat, where to go, what car to buy, what TV to buy etc. I feel so sad and stuck here. I feel like for my father and mother, I'm invisible. Everyday I feel like when this life will end. It's even harming my studies. All I do is day dream about being loved by someone. I just want to focus on me and my studies. But I'm not able to do it.What can I do?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
If there's evident distinction in the way that your parents treat you and your brother, then it's pretty unfortunate.
One way is to actually talk to them about it and tell them how you feel, but I am unsure if this is going to work. The other way is to reassure yourself with your own self-love and be happy that you are academically strong. Use your degree wisely and to make a mark on your own by serving the society in your own way.
Someday, your parents may realize this and pay attention to you. But if you feel that things are going well for you emotionally, I suggest that you work with a professional who can guide you and your energies back into yourself without relying on anyone. This will help you tide over the hurt and the pain and move into a space of confidence.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

..Read more

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1766 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jan 28, 2025

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Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |247 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

Money
Hi sir, I would like to invest in the market or bank or saving it on FD. Whatever way is possible. I want to save 1cr in next 5 years. As of now I don't have any saving yet. I will get 2l saving on my nemae in july. My month expenses is around 54k and my salary also 54 onlym currently I am filled with emis and some commitments till July 2026. I am thinking of buying a car and planning buy a home or build a home at native. This is possible only I will vwich the another company so that I will get a salary growth nearly 1lakh per month. So please give me some suggestions to investments ideas and marketing and savings and finance planning to afford the needed things.
Ans: Good aspiration, Ganesh.

However, at present your salary and expenses are almost equal, and you are still carrying financial commitments. So this is not the right time to explore investments or market exposure aggressively.

The ?2 Lakhs you expect in July should first be used to clear pending obligations. Any balance amount can be parked in a Fixed Deposit and treated as your emergency fund.

Once your commitments reduce and you are able to generate monthly surplus, you may start SIPs even with a small amount. Discipline matters more than size initially.

After you switch to a new company and income improves, do ensure you take:

A personal Term Insurance plan

A Family Floater Health Insurance policy

These protections should precede wealth creation.

Step-by-step progression will keep your finances stable and stress-free.

...Read more

Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |247 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

Money
Sir, I have invested totally 4.83 L in SBI Contra regular fund through SIP since 2010 and the present corpus is 19.76L @ 16.49% XIRR. Now I want to redeem say 4L (1.25 L Capital gain + corresponding Principle investment) to take advantage of LTCG. If I re-invest the same amount immediately predicting the same NAV, is it affect on profit of the fund in future? Please suggest. With Thanks & Regards, S.Salvankar
Ans: Hello Mr. Salvankar,

You have built an excellent corpus over time. A 16%+ XIRR since 2010 reflects disciplined investing and strong fund performance.

Redeeming around ?4 Lakhs to realise ~?1.25L LTCG and utilise the annual tax exemption is a valid tax-harvesting strategy. If you reinvest the same amount immediately, even at a similar NAV, it will not affect your future wealth creation. Your market exposure remains the same, while your purchase cost resets higher, helping reduce future taxable gains.

Do ensure reinvestment is done promptly to avoid market movement gaps, though the long-term impact is minimal.

LTCG exemption applies only on gain, not withdrawal amount

Redemption must be calculated proportionately

Redeeming ?4L will overshoot tax-free limit

However, you may please consult your Chartered Accountant for specific tax implications and personalized advice before executing the transaction.

Naveenn Kummar
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered Mutal fund distributor , Certified Retirement Advisor
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

...Read more

Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |247 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 07, 2026Hindi
Money
Hi Sir, I am 55 years old women and want to start investing ₹45,000 per month through SIPs for the next 5 years. My aim is only capital growth and I am a moderate risk investor. I have not invested in any mutual funds yet. Please suggest: 1). How much should I invest in equity vs debt/hybrid funds 2). What type of mutual funds are suitable for my age and 5-year period 3). Whether investing in midcap/Flexicaps and Multicap funds is advisable for me I want a safe but growth-oriented investment approach. Thank you in advance for your valuable advise :)
Ans: Hello Madam,

Thank you for your query. Starting SIPs at 55 with clarity of purpose is a very sensible step.

Since your horizon is 5 years and risk profile is moderate, the focus should be growth with capital stability, not aggressive equity exposure.

Allocation guidance

Keep equity around 40–45% and the balance 55–60% in hybrid and debt funds. This helps participate in market upside while reducing volatility risk.

Out of ?45,000 SIP, you may broadly structure:

?18–20K in equity oriented funds

?25–27K in hybrid / debt funds

Suitable fund categories

Flexicap funds are appropriate as a core growth component.
Balanced Advantage or Dynamic Asset Allocation funds are ideal for automatic risk management.
Aggressive Hybrid funds add measured equity exposure.
Short duration or corporate bond funds provide stability.

Midcap / Multicap exposure

Flexicap is suitable.
Multicap selectively.
Pure midcap exposure should be minimal or avoided given the short tenure.

Return expectation

With this balanced approach, a realistic outcome over 5 years may be in the 8–10% range, offering growth without undue stress on capital.

In simple terms, your strategy should be balanced, diversified and stability-led rather than return-chasing.

Wishing you disciplined and confident investing ahead.please consult qualified mutual fund advisor on scheme and fund selection
Naveenn Kummar
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered Mutal fund distributor , Certified Retirement Advisor
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

...Read more

Naveenn

Naveenn Kummar  |247 Answers  |Ask -

Financial Planner, MF, Insurance Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

Money
Dear Sir, I'm 54-year-old and my sons are 23 and 21 years old. I would like to know, in SBI Life Policies / any other brand of Life Policies, Term Insurance and Health Insurance. At present, specifically what are the best beneficial wealth policies, Term Insurance and Health Insurance Vs PPF, Vs MF, vs. NPS v FD vs Trading in the Share Market including ETFs, as well as with Sudden Death Protection, which suits for me and my both son's age and all of three income sources, such as a salary of 6-8L /Annum. Pl. Elaborate on all these requests with PROS and CONS on each segment for three of us, including the retirement plan and policies/investments. Thanks, from Chennai (1st Feb 2026)
Ans: Dear Sir,

For your sons, the first priority should be a Term Insurance Plan. It provides immediate financial protection in case of any unforeseen event. Please avoid ULIPs, traditional or endowment policies at this stage. Their eligibility and cost structures are linked to income and long lock-ins, and returns are usually not efficient.

Since their age is very young, term insurance premiums will be much cheaper. You may opt for a policy term up to age 65 or 70. Avoid “Return of Premium” and limited-pay variants, as they increase cost without meaningful benefit.

Secondly, take Health Insurance early. A high base cover, even 1 crore or an unlimited restoration plan, will come at a very economical premium due to their age. This protects future savings from medical inflation.

Regarding investments, traditional avenues like PPF and Fixed Deposits provide safety but may not beat inflation over long periods. For retirement discipline, you may consider enrolling them in NPS and, if suitable, Atal Pension Yojana for additional pension layering.

Avoid active trading for now. Without experience, it can erode capital rather than build wealth.

Maintain at least six months of income as an emergency fund, parked in FDs or liquid mutual funds for quick access.

Parallelly, start SIPs in mutual funds to build long-term wealth systematically.

For a more customized allocation and goal planning approach, you may consult a qualified Mutual Fund Advisor who can structure investments based on income, risk profile and timelines.

Naveenn Kummar
Chief Financial Planner | AMFI Registered Mutal fund distributor , Certified Retirement Advisor
https://members.networkfp.com/member/naveenkumarreddy-vadula-chennai

...Read more

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |697 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1766 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

Asked by Anonymous - Feb 02, 2026Hindi
Relationship
I'm male on the verge of completing 32 years ... Doing currently md from prestigious medical college and completed my mbbs from topmost medical institute in india... I'm into relationship for almost about 5 years when se was 20 and I was 27 ... I know there is a age gap of 7 years but we never felt that there is a age gap between us.. currently her age is 25 years ... We both loved each other ... Her parents is very conservative and from orthodox family .. i know that majority have those mindset and I can't blame it by saying derogatory words like narrow mindset and very cheap thinking even in my family some members have conservative mindset ... So when I don't call my family members by using derogatory then why I am to use cuss words about them also... Khair ... Baat yeh tha ma'am aapse ki mere andar hichkhichat bilkul nhi h lekin bs thoda sa nervousness feel ho rha ki apni baat ko kaise samne rkhe ... Hm toh khud yeh chahenge ji woh bhi samay le apna kyuki apni ghar ki Lakshmi apni jaan se bhi pyari ladki ko kisi ko saupne ki baat h .. lekin hm dono different caste se h ... We both belong to obc but having different communities or caste whatever you say ma'am .. ma'am aapse bs yahi puchna chahte h ki aap hme kya suggestion de skti h agar dena ho toh... Apni kabiliyat pe bharosa h unko hm smjha skte h apni financial stability bta ke apne chizo ko honestly aur transparently rkhte hue lekin phir bhi halka sa dar lgta h ki kai woh na maane toh... Dhanyawad aapka meri baato ko padhne aur smjhne ke liye..
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Financial stability ho toh bahut kuch aasaani se suljhaaya jaa sakta hai.
Apni mann ki baat apne parents aur ladki ke parents ke saamne rakhna; ab ya toh maan jaayenge ya toh bawaal mach sakta hai...
Par agar aapko lagta hai ki koi bhi samasya saame aaye toh aap aur ladki dono milke suljhaa paaoge, toh befikr hoke unhe sab bataa dena. Kuch dino tak shaayad naarza bhi rahein, kabhi na kabhi maan jaayenge yeh mere maanna hai...par kuch aisi communities hoti hain jahaan doosre caste mein koi baat nahin uthaate shaadi ka. Mere sujhaav phir yeh hoga ki aap jisse bahut kareeb ho ghar mein unse pehle baat karein taaki koi toh hohga aapke saath...uske baad poori family ko is baat ka khulaasa karein...ladke wale ladki aur uske pariwaar ke baare mein janna chahenge toh yeh baat acche se jaan lijiye...
Dekhiye aage hota hai kya!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

...Read more

Ramalingam

Ramalingam Kalirajan  |11025 Answers  |Ask -

Mutual Funds, Financial Planning Expert - Answered on Feb 10, 2026

Money
Dear Ramalingam Sir.......I had invested in the NFO (in February 2021) of SBI Retirement Fund. After completion of five year locking period in February, 2026, the Units will now be available/free, for redemption. The investment was aimed for long term to built up a retirement portfolio for my two children who works in private without any pension provision in their employment. This fund has so far given moderate returns during last five years. Please suggest whether I should continue the investment in the same above SBI Retirement fund OR to have better investment returns I may redeem existing single portfolio in above SBI MF and re-invest the redemption value in different category of Mutual funds with obvious goal of a long term investment of over 20-25 years, for a Gift to my two childrens. Diversification in different MFs will also facilitate to avail yearly benefit of long term capital gain on redemption and then re-investment. Please also suggest names of MFs in different categories. With Regards.
Ans: » Understanding your current retirement fund holding
– You invested in a retirement-oriented mutual fund in February 2021 with a 5-year lock-in
– The fund follows a hybrid structure, combining equity and debt for balanced growth
– Returns over the first five years have been moderate, which is not unusual for this category
– With the lock-in now completed in February 2026, you have full flexibility to continue or restructure

» Rechecking the goal and time horizon
– The objective is long-term wealth creation of 20–25 years for your two children
– Since your children work in the private sector without pension benefits, growth becomes more important than short-term stability
– Over such a long period, portfolios with higher equity orientation generally have better wealth-building potential

» Continue with the same fund or switch – how to think about it
– Continuing in the same fund offers familiarity and avoids any transition effort
– However, retirement and hybrid funds are designed more for stability and discipline than for maximum long-term growth
– With a long horizon ahead, relying on a single hybrid fund may limit return potential
– This is a good stage to reassess structure rather than judge only past returns

» Why diversification now makes sense
– Holding the entire corpus in one fund increases fund-specific and strategy risk
– Diversifying across multiple mutual fund categories improves consistency over market cycles
– It also allows flexibility in partial redemptions and tax planning in future years

» Suggested mutual fund categories for 20–25 year horizon
– Instead of remaining in a single retirement fund, consider spreading across:

Flexi-cap oriented equity funds for long-term core growth

Large and mid-cap oriented funds for stability with growth

Select mid-cap oriented funds for higher long-term potential

One balanced or aggressive hybrid fund for risk control
– This combination helps balance growth, volatility, and discipline over decades

» About naming specific mutual funds
– Fund selection should be based on consistency of investment process, fund management stability, and portfolio quality
– Chasing recent top performers or NFO themes is not advisable for such long goals
– A Certified Financial Planner usually shortlists schemes based on suitability rather than popularity

» Tax planning perspective
– Equity-oriented mutual funds allow long-term capital gains benefit beyond the holding period
– Using diversification, you may plan staggered redemptions over different years to utilise the annual exemption limit effectively
– This improves post-tax outcomes over time without disturbing the long-term goal

» How to execute the transition smoothly
– Avoid redeeming and reinvesting in a hurry based on short-term market movements
– If you decide to exit the existing fund, a phased approach can reduce timing risk
– Continue long-term SIP discipline in the restructured portfolio

» Final Insights
– Your original investment decision was sensible for discipline and lock-in
– With the lock-in completed and a very long horizon ahead, restructuring into a diversified, growth-oriented mutual fund portfolio is worth considering
– The focus should now shift from product label to portfolio design
– A well-diversified mutual fund structure held with patience can meaningfully support your children’s retirement needs

Best Regards,

K. Ramalingam, MBA, CFP,

Chief Financial Planner,

www.holisticinvestment.in

https://www.youtube.com/@HolisticInvestment

...Read more

DISCLAIMER: The content of this post by the expert is the personal view of the rediffGURU. Investment in securities market are subject to market risks. Read all the related document carefully before investing. The securities quoted are for illustration only and are not recommendatory. Users are advised to pursue the information provided by the rediffGURU only as a source of information and as a point of reference and to rely on their own judgement when making a decision. RediffGURUS is an intermediary as per India's Information Technology Act.

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