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Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Aug 18, 2023

Anu Krishna is a mind coach and relationship expert.
The co-founder of Unfear Changemakers LLP, she has received her neuro linguistic programming training from National Federation of NeuroLinguistic Programming, USA, and her energy work specialisation from the Institute for Inner Studies, Manila.
She is an executive member of the Indian Association of Adolescent Health.... more
Asked by Anonymous - Aug 13, 2023Hindi
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Relationship

My age is 42 years now. I am an elder son in my family, then my sister and two younger brothers. My father was a clerk in state govt. office. Being an elder son I did all my duties at par with my father. I spent my entire 9 years’ salary on my family, it includes sister marriage, brothers education (Engineering/Polytechnic), their coaching for competitive exams, books other monthly expenses. Under my guidance they both got job. I also performed co-applicant to Education loan to one of my brother. But now my father, mother and brothers betrayed (Beyimaan). Because my younger brother’s wife was selected in state govt. job and my wife is not employed. They kicked off us from their house. All it happens like TV serial. Now my wife also get job in central government under my guidance. My family member also did same with my younger brother and kicked - off them also. Now they ask me to live with them. I am very much in stress. I want to totally detach with my family. I want to close my all relationships with them. I also don’t want my father’s property. But every now and then they call me. They never help me. We live in same city. Please help me out. I don’t want to be part of B. P. and Sugar patient. I want to be a Vinod Khanna dialogue Parva Nahi from film Dayavan.

Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Time for you to do things for yourself! It may seem selfish at the beginning but taking care of yourself and your needs is self-care above everything else...
For once put your needs before everyone else's and resist any sort of manipulation from family. Serving themselves was their agenda at your expense; why still allow it?
Firmly refuse moving in with them as it won't take them long before they kick you out when things are not in their favour. You have the ability to be by yourself and support yourself...maintaining a healthy distance in fact helps relationships grow stronger. So, time for you to be kind to yourself...

All the best!

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Harsh

Harsh Bharwani  |62 Answers  |Ask -

Entrepreneurship Expert - Answered on Jul 04, 2023

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 23, 2023Hindi
Career
Dear sir i am 51 yr old ,i had a very tough life,i was bright and honest student..i got adhoc lecturer ship which i have to left as it was adhoc only i like my profession but i had to left ..than i join with help of my friend sales which i don't like but to earn i did and rose to higher management level...my married elder brother was having depression,i left the parental home to help him ,my parents were both retired govt employees getting good pension...i struggled to make both ends meet..later on my parents get medical trouble still my wife took care of them at my house.. I left the job in 2010 me and my friends who bring me job started the business but he ditched me the first day on business i take courage and continued the business... Meanwhile my parents refused yo help....after 3 yr of my business my parents come to help them as my mother has to do 3 month complete bed rest ,me and my wife helped them after that they come for 2 -3 months in a year for 5 years but after that my mother starts querlling with my wife ,i stoped their coming but told i will help them they need..i helped them during covid ,and other medical problems ,in 2021 my father passed away in i met an car accident my mother refused to give registery of copy in cour yo get bail..i stopped my all relation on this ...my daughter went to canada in sep 2021..i took 7 lacs loan and rest i paid from my savings ..this month her course was supposed to finish but what i realize that she failed in 13 exams..she told me first time than i told her to not worry i concentrate for future one but she lied and failed in other one also what she disclosed now,i have to pay further 10 lacs..my business is alo down and my son is not selected my medical field business,i have to collect aprx 40 lacs from market ,i tried hard for tie up overtake or job at this age but kot getting...it is become hard to run business with no family member in same business in future and tonpay to daughter ..i am gojng to shut it down in next month and do something else...with low cost business as i have to pay monthly salaries and rent of aprox 2.5 lac...i am in big trouble...No one to help me out..i never tried my 0mother brother sister whom i helped in their every cause...i knew they will not help as they not helped me in all my troubles...
Ans: I'm really sorry to hear about the difficult circumstances you've faced in your life. It sounds like you've gone through a lot of challenges and have been dealing with various setbacks. It's understandable that you may feel overwhelmed and frustrated at this point.
In times of hardship, it's important to remember that there is always hope and the possibility of finding solutions. Here are a few suggestions to consider:

1. Seek Professional Help: Given the complexity of your situation and the emotional toll it has taken on you, it may be beneficial to seek professional support. Consider reaching out to a counselor, therapist, or support group to help you navigate through your challenges and emotions. They can provide guidance and assist you in developing coping strategies.
2. Financial Assistance: If you're struggling with loans and financial obligations, it might be worth exploring options for financial assistance. Consult with a financial advisor or research available schemes, grants, or loans that could potentially help you manage your debts and ease the financial burden.
3. Career Transition: As you mentioned, shutting down your current business and exploring other low-cost business options might be a viable solution. Assess your skills, interests, and market demand to identify alternative business opportunities that align with your capabilities and resources. Consider seeking advice from business mentors or professionals in your desired industry to help you make informed decisions.
4. Network and Support: While it may feel like you're alone, reach out to your social network for support. Friends, acquaintances, or industry professionals might have insights, connections, or opportunities that could be beneficial. Building a support system can provide emotional support and potentially open doors for new opportunities.
5. Prioritize Self-Care: In challenging times, taking care of yourself is crucial. Make sure to prioritize self-care activities such as exercise, relaxation, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones. Maintaining your physical and mental well-being will help you navigate through difficulties with a clearer mindset.
6. Maintain Resilience: Remember that setbacks are a part of life, and resilience is key. While it may feel overwhelming now, focus on developing a positive mindset and persevering through challenges. Draw on your past experiences of overcoming adversity to fuel your resilience and determination.

Finally, know that it's never too late to make a fresh start or seek new opportunities. It may take time, effort, and a shift in mindset, but with perseverance and resilience, you can work towards a better future. Reach out for help, explore available resources, and stay determined. Wishing you strength and the best of luck as you navigate through this difficult period.

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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

Asked by Anonymous - Oct 07, 2024
Anu

Anu Krishna  |1281 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Nov 07, 2024

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Relationship
Help me!!! 1.I'm starting new "work" on my own(challenging for me) but my mind says quit it, be quite & do nothing. I myself don't know that wether the result of work will be +ive or uncompleted like alws. 2. My mind has become like order seeker type, when someone orders me, I do those things with dedicated(but sad from inside) manner. But when myself will try something different(which i fear, but necessary) then. "I QUITS IT" & sometimes I don't even start. 3. I'm like stuck no clue what/whom I want to do in life, I'm in cllg(1 yr) doing (CSE) ,. 4. I want to do/try (sports,talking girls,study,stocks,coding..) many things, but myself, my thoughts(overthinker), R like just be in the place where u are[confused,po*n,think about past/future(being billio..re,olympics..), girl (that u liked & never talked), abusive/beating self,.. sometimes feels like end life, but don't hv courage for that also.. 5. I tried self help books, spirituality, god, self affirmation, writing... & thay affected me(sometimes) but for only some time, then again that devil me comes up &these things never get completed. As no one in my family knows about all these, so that's Y ,I hv to fight/loose/try again, the battles with myself.
Ans: Dear Harsh,
If in the past you have had the urge to QUIT, how is this time going to be different? This is not to discourage you from taking up 'new work' but pointing out that there is some amount of work that you need to put to clear the mind out of blockages.
-What is limiting you?
- What is the reason for putting off things?
- What comes first to the mind when you start something new?
Also, focus on one thing at a time; study and go deep into it...what's this thing with work? I don't understand. When the mind is unsettled, take one thing/activity, pursue it and finish it. It could simply be studying for Year 1 of your college...just only do that...once your mind is trained in completing an activity, you can add another one the next year along with studying and then pursue both...it could be some sport and studying...then the next year, you could add a third activity. This is called 'training the mind in discipline'. Discipline will make sure that you start and finish things...So, go slow and do one thing at a time.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/

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