Hi,
Please hide my name.
It’s been close to 10 years of our marriage. We are as such happily married but have our share of fights and arguments.
It was an arranged marriage though we did have a courtship (physically roaming around) of about 10-15 days two months before the wedding.
I have been made aware of a past relationship of my wife. I am okay with that. It went on to the physical levels and I do not as such have an issue.
But now I was made aware -- in general talks -- that the relationship lasted till the last day before the marriage and it was involved to the extent of sharing hotel rooms, going together to different cities -- all these just 10-15 days before the marriage.
I do have chats of that time and I when I showed that to her, including SMSes. She is saying it just happened and she has no explanation. 
I do not intend to break my marriage as we have lovely kids to raise, but I am not able to digest these incidents.
The thing that really hurts me is that she is not regretting this and always saying that its part of her good memories of life. I just can't digest this.
I think I need some help to come to peace with this situation as this is spoiling the atmosphere at home.
Regards,
A bleeding heart.

Dear Love Guru, My wife and I are in an arranged marriage since around 15 years and there is nothing that we celebrate about our relationship, except kids which are the only reason for our existing relations. I am working abroad and have visits for a month on vacation after every couple of months. After marriage, I noticed my wife’s flirting behaviour with strange men (to seduce) during many occasions but initially ignored it. However, I found it frustrating when I felt her to be habitual flirter. I then spoke to her, which was after around 2.5 years of our marriage, and she denied the matter. Soon noticing such perpetual habits about her, we went on for non-talking terms some time and then a storm broke out in our house. My parents and her parents supported her, since I couldn’t prove any of her behaviour. She has been lying since her behaviour was noticed and even after that, but my love for her and my child (at that time) made me feel that probably that I need to avoid any suspicious behaviour. Such storm was repeated even recently few years earlier. I had thought my idea of a second child would improve our relations, but it hasn’t helped. I could still notice her flirting behaviour with strangers and even with known personnel including my relatives. I even believe her to be in relationship with one of my cousins, based on my observations of their behaviour during our every meet, which I cannot speak of due to my previous experience and which will otherwise definitely terminate our relations. Actually, we are never on good terms these days whenever I visit home and mostly converse only if required. We are also not good in bed and I have also been feeling a low erectile in bed these days. These moments have affected me psychologically and I feel very negative about our relationship. My family remains my priority and I have been trying to see that we all are all happy as a family. I have even sacrificed my own family time for better earnings so that my family can get all the best in life. She takes good care of the children and manages the house nicely. I also ensure that we, as a family, go out on long journeys for travel and my children are everything for me. I have trying to cope up with all this by focusing on work and socialising with friends to the best extent possible. However, her behaviour (in spite of my presence) makes me feel negative. How can I deal with the matter since any re-attempt on my part to speak on the same matter, even if cordially, with my wife will create another storm like earlier? I wish to sort out the differences and need your advice. Should we meet a counsellor separately on this to sort out the matter? Keep me anonymous and respect my privacy.

Hello I am 38Yrs old and married for over 10years. One year back i discovered about my wife getting involved with another man. I was shattered as we have two kids. I initially thought of straight going for divorce but our two kids were always a priority for me and opened up conversation with my wife on what inclined her to take this step. She was shocked that I am aware of her situation. She then opened up that she felt lonely at times when I was away extremely busy with my office and at times she required emotional support for which I was not there. I explained her no reason in this world can explain her act. She felt apologetic and I decided to give another chance to our relationship keeping in mind our kids future. Its now more than an year and our physical/emotional relation have intensified since the incident. We miss each other when I am away and get into steamy conversations to compensate whenever we are distant. Despite of this I still cannot take the past out of my mind and at times it disturbs me. I feel really cheap that despite of moving ahead in our life's why I still keep bringing the past in between our relation. Although I don't discuss anymore about the incident with my wife but she can very well sense the reason when I feel disturbed. I want your help on how to best overcome of such incidents emotionally and rebuild the lost trust with your partner.

Hello Sir, it has been 4 years since I got married. I have two kids. My wife loves me a lot. One day, in a casual conversation, she told me about her past life before marriage. I too had physical relations with a friend. Since then, I have been in depression. What should I do? I am unable to understand. Should I separate or leave her. Although now she keeps crying that that was the past. Now I love you very much, but I am unable to understand what to do. Please guide us. I feel that my life has been ruined. I am unable to understand ????????

Hello Sir, it has been 4 years since I got married. I have two kids. My wife loves me a lot. One day, in a casual conversation, she told me about her past life before marriage. I too had physical relations with a friend. Since then, I have been in depression. What should I do? I am unable to understand. Should I separate or leave her. Although now she keeps crying that that was the past. Now I love you very much, but I am unable to understand what to do. Please guide us. I feel that my life has been ruined. I am unable to understand ????????