Hi,
Please hide my name.
It’s been close to 10 years of our marriage. We are as such happily married but have our share of fights and arguments.
It was an arranged marriage though we did have a courtship (physically roaming around) of about 10-15 days two months before the wedding.
I have been made aware of a past relationship of my wife. I am okay with that. It went on to the physical levels and I do not as such have an issue.
But now I was made aware -- in general talks -- that the relationship lasted till the last day before the marriage and it was involved to the extent of sharing hotel rooms, going together to different cities -- all these just 10-15 days before the marriage.
I do have chats of that time and I when I showed that to her, including SMSes. She is saying it just happened and she has no explanation.
I do not intend to break my marriage as we have lovely kids to raise, but I am not able to digest these incidents.
The thing that really hurts me is that she is not regretting this and always saying that its part of her good memories of life. I just can't digest this.
I think I need some help to come to peace with this situation as this is spoiling the atmosphere at home.
Regards,
A bleeding heart.
Ans: Dear Bleeding Heart,
I think you need to come to terms with your wife’s past.
The situation speaks for itself, doesn’t it? She loved someone else but was pressured into an arranged match with you. And then proceeded to enjoy as much time with the man she loved before she gave herself away to someone else, who was practically a stranger then.
It’s very understandable.
I get that you’re feeling a little duped, given that she was still with the other man right up until the wedding, but get over it.
She’s been with you for 10 years since then, is the mother of your children and obviously loves you now; you have a happy marriage.
You’re behaving like she cheated on you, when in fact she revealed the truth to you herself. So leave the past where it belongs and look forward to the future.
The only problem here is your bruised male ego.
