Hi Anu, plz help
I am 42 years old and married since 9 years. We (husband and I) are childless. It's nine years since our marriage but we have not been intimate for even 90 times.
My husband has no interest in sex. He had shown interest only in first week of marriage after that He never initiate.
I understand his nature and always try to initiate but he always gives cold shoulder, he never reciprocates warmly, never holds me tightly or kisses willing.
I always have to force' him or ask him to kiss or hug me. And this turns my mood off. This way we seldom have sex.
I eagerly want it at least once a month and have told him, forced him several times but all in vain. I get frustrated. I feel restless. I can't share this with anyone.
Whenever I try to get close, he ignores. Both of us respect and love each other. We don’t have extra marital affair. He cares for me too. I feel like running away from this situation but I love him and don’t want to leave him alone. Please respond.

i have been married for 9 months but my husband is nver interest in sex. He doe not even hug me properly. It is an arrange marriage but our engagement lasted for 1.5 years and at that we had good physical relationship. we used to make out whenever we could get a chance. But after the day we were married he is never interested. he did not even try to have sex on our first night or at our honeymoon. We do make out once a month but that too only if i initiate. We sleep in the same bed but he has never come to cuddle with me after first week of marriage. He is not making any efforts to make me feel loved, special or beautiful. I have tried a lot of time to talk to him openly but he answers to any questions. He says that he loves me but never puts in any effort to make me feel like i am being loved. And whenever i complain he will try to change for 1 week and then everything is as it is. But 1 thing i have noticed is that he wanted to have sex if i go away to my parents house for 1-2 weeks and comeback. Can you help me.

Hi Anu I need advice for my marriage. Ours was love cum arrange marriage 14 yrs ago.For first few years all was good .I am financially independent with good salary. My spouse s self employed. We hav one child 10 yrs old.My married s become more like a suffocating situation which I am not able to change.My husband is not at all interested in me now.He treats me invisible when it comes to husband wife relationship. He s good father and human being.But since last few yrs i am not having any emotional relationship with him.We spent so many days and time together yet not a single word of love emotions between us.He s busy with his calls mobile netflix all night while i keep awake all night.I have confronted him many times everytime he says you are always fighting with me and Want all this nonsense. He seem to avoid me all day. He want to discuss about his son and finances since i am earning more than him. its been years i cant handle it now.I want someone to look at me talk to me praise me love me.I deserve happiness but since my son is too small i can't think of living separately but i will die like this one day.I dont knw whats wrong with me seems its like he dont want to touch me as there s no physical relationship between us if we are home alone also.He tortures me mentally but remails happy.I failed as a wife despite giving my everything. I have none to discuss such embarrassing life .Pls advice what shall i do ?Should i found someone else as i dont have capacity to beg again and again?Its very difficult to imagine such long life with a partner who treats u invisible since years ?shall i shift to another city with my son?I am completely lost.Pls help everything. I cant beg for love and attention everytime

Hello Ma'am, I am 35 yrs old, it's been 5yrs since I got married, and I am not happy in my marriage. We don't have any kind of physical relationship since we git married, I always tried getting closed with hime but he for some or the other reason didn't let me get close... and I really don't know the reason why, I have been craving for his touch,love and emotions but he is least interested otherwise he holds me and sleep take care of me my needs but when it comes about physical it's zero between us. Since I got married our bedroom door is always open I told him mannier time about privacy after so long he started closing the door that also after my MIL get asleep (FIL passed away when he was 20) and he gets up early in morning and open the door for MIL so that she can use our washroom though we have in all 2 washroom but she wants to use only the western one which is in out bedroom so evry now and then she come in our room randomly also so privacy is zero she always get interfere with some or the other topics whenever me and my husband talks so I don't get chance to have normal conversation with my husband, so coming back or physical relation I had to discuss late night with my husband because of my MIL I have discussed with him and asked him in a very friendly manner that what would be the cause that you don't want to get physical, is there any one you like it's fine just let me know so that I get away between you both rather then wasting time but he said No theirs no such problems he said it's just we don't have that intimacy between us...he dragged me that I also don't have that intimacy which is wrong I have tried getting closer but he didn't allowed me at start we use to try but before somthing start he use to go to washroom and sit for long n I use to wait and sleep I thought it will get improve but it been 5 yrs and we are on same page he is good person he he supports me financially and also helped my family in worse situation he thinks for all problem money is the solution, he says physical is not that important part of relationship. I use to be independent but then I left my job because it was night shift and I could not manage household chores and night job because I didn't get help I couldn't get proper sleep I was facing health issues..I thought I will work on my relationship because it's very stressful and depressive I am not able to sleep I feel suffocated, I feel like running away due to this in between I always go to my moms place for some time cause I feel like m not valued at my In laws place no physical relationship nothing so for what i am leaving there? I am getting habitat with the relationship situation I can leave with him without physical need but not with my mother in law I have shared my problem with her as well as she was behind me for baby planning but she is not taking any action knowing the situation she is quite she asked to my husband that what's going on I got to know from your wife that you both don't have physical relationship what's the problem, my husband reply ye we don't have don't ask for baby and harras her or me, that it. So my MIL is also quite now. I am looking for job again as I want to be independent I don't like to ask for money everytime and also fulfill my dreams and needs on my own but My MIL wants me to see for local job but m not getting in the sam city and what is the need to stay in same city where every one just want me to stay just to show fake that we are married and happy, my MIL wants every puja and vrat for his son to be done by me, after knowing my situation I am so depressed I don't have now any interest in doing these rituals now, I live the in a control way, my husband just think doing shopping, watching movies, savings is enough for happy relationship. Please guide me what should I do is leaving with him is worth.and I cannot leave with my MIN as she is very insecure mother everytime she wants his son to listen her.please tell me should I live with him is their any hope or what would be the solution I am looking for job in other city now cause till these time I just thought of him and wasted my career. Please suggest. Thanks for your time.

He ma'am, Me and my husband are of same age 35 and its been 5yrs we got married but we don't have physical relationship at all my husband says we don't have intimacy, I forced home to visit doctor and the blood reports says all okay, as per his saying cause I don't understand the medical terms much....but if everything is okay medically still he never tries to come closer earlier we tried but he use stop in between before having sex and run to washroom and sit there for long ...and this was becoming mystry for me,bi asked him he said everything is fine it will take time and everything will be fine earlier he use to use washroom for long but now he does not .....in expectation that things will become better I wasted my 5 yrs. As a person he is good but as a husband he is lacks i wated my carrier as I am not getting any job in perticular city, and with is I started feeling useless as I had dreamt of living peaceful and happy life with him but everything went wrong no love, no emotional support, no physical intimacy no carrier nothing. I shared this with my mother in law as he was behind me for baby so one day I told her that we don't have physical relationship so please don't expect baby he didn't believe me but later on she started believing but she didn't take any action she is quite...how will I survive in this environment when I don't have reason to live...my husband support my family financially and because of that I not able to take any step..I feel suffocated at my in-laws place, I don't like to stay there he just makes me happy by shopping, watching movies that it but is this enough for the happy relationship. I was so friendly with him that I said that let me know what there in your mind you don't like me he said no I like you...then I asked him then why you don't want to get physical I started getting self-doubt on myself, he said you don't respond while sex but you tell me in 5 years we hardly tried 6-7 time and I responded him but he use to run to washroom in mid of play what would I do then I tried giving him hints for having sex but he use to ignore now you say that in 5 yrs of period we didn't has sex then don't you think there's major issue and when I say we should visit doctor then he says I have medical proof that I am physically fine... coming on my MIL part she used our bedroom toilet though we have 2 washroom out is western so she uses ours so there is no privacy our bedroom is never locked because of my MIL when I Iock my husband gets early in morning and open the lock for my MI, please tell me is this right every now and then she comes in our room and interfere in our conversation, her this behaviour feels like she is insecure about his son as FIL is more...I discuss with my husband that atleast we should have our privacy so he says yes but take no action...he does commitment but never fulfills...basic expectations I have from him that if not physical then atleast spent time with me, let's go and explore place he says yes but never go, I agreed on every point I lived according to my MIL she is selfish instead of knowing all problem she just want fasting for his son, making food what he likes, doing puja for his son success...you tell me in return I am not getting anything still I kept on doing my best to prove best bshu and best wife but no good change... I going through anxiety, stress, depression because of this I lost my confidence, no carrier nothing....now I decided to look for job in other city and thing for my mental peace and become independent because staying with him in 5 yrs didn't bring good changes instead I lost myself in my making them happy...what should I do please help ...he say that I don't want weekend wife now you tell me why I not think of myself now he says, I want to stay with you but if there is not change after so many try then it's useless he always says will work this out but it never happened, I tried my best.now I said will look for job in other city and will meet in weekend spend time together, and I will be there in all your worst situation. But now I can be jobless and asking for money everytime from him....he thinks money is the solution for all.He says no weekend wife how long this will work then but he is not giving me any choice, he says though I want to stay with you but if weekend wife the seperation is only option no divorce but seperation please guide *regarding physical relationship, *regarding my MIL interference despite of knowing everything, no privacy, her insecurity *And my decision of taking job in other as I am not getting opportunity in same city, staying together is also brings no change. Pls suggest.