Dear Love Guru,
Some of my closest friends are girls.
My girlfriend was okay with it earlier, but she is getting too possessive now.
She does not want me to hang out with my female friends but she is okay with my hanging out with my male friends.
I don’t have a romantic interest in these girls and nor do they have a romantic interest in me.
And I am not someone who will cheat.
How do I convince her?
Is this a good sign for the future?
Aditya

Ans: Dear Srujan,

Your intentions might not be tainted but put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes, and don't think from your perspective. Think of hers. You might have been okay if the roles were reversed, but can't say the same for most people. Jealousy is a green-eyed monster, but for some instances, it is justified; not right, but understandable. You proposing to another girl might have been a joke for you, but it hurt your GF. The only thing you can do here is to explain the situation and apologize for making her feel this way, even though it wasn't your intention.

For your second issue, I'd say it was good thinking on your part not to get too involved and yet be there for your girlfriend and stop her friends from resorting to violence. If that has insulted your partner, you can try clarifying your intent, and if she still does not want to pay heed to your side of the story, you don't owe her any more explanation for this particular issue.

If you don't have trust and understanding in your relationship, it's a losing battle, no matter how much you both try to hold on to it. An honest and level-headed discussion is the only thing that can save your relationship at this point.

Best wishes!

Ans: Dear Anonymous,

Like you told your partner, she has the freedom to get out of the relationship and see any number of guys she wants to, but cheating is not an option. From how you described your relationship, the repeated pattern of cheating does not sound healthy at all. And there's nothing called almost cheating. As for trusting her, it depends on if she has always told you the truth. But then again, you also have to consider how her truth has made you feel.

Best Wishes!

Ans: No you can’t. That is the answer to your question, short and sweet. She’s obviously incapable of committing wholly to one person and that is what you want, so stop trying to turn her into someone she’s not or you’re the one who will wind up miserable.

Ans: Dear Anonymous, Please understand that trust is a delicate aspect of any relationship, and rebuilding it requires time, patience, and consistent effort from both partners. It's important to create an environment where both of you feel secure and valued. You must have heard action speaks louder than words demonstrate through your actions that you are committed to the relation. If you've promised to change certain behaviors, make sure you follow through. Reassure her of your love and commitment. Continue to have open and honest conversations about your feelings, concerns, and the reasons behind your past actions. Encourage her to express her thoughts and emotions as well. Make sure she feels heard and understood.