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Love Guru |204 Answers |Ask -Follow

Relationships Expert - Answered on Sep 08, 2021

Love Guru has been answering relationship and romance related questions on Rediff.com for over 13 years. She won't mince words when telling you what the problem is and what you can do about it. If you want a fresh perspective from an unbiased, objective-thinking individual about your relationship woes, Love Guru could just be the person you need to need to hear from.... more

Question by Aditya on Sep 08, 2021Hindi

Relationship

Dear Love Guru,
Some of my closest friends are girls.
My girlfriend was okay with it earlier, but she is getting too possessive now.
She does not want me to hang out with my female friends but she is okay with my hanging out with my male friends.
I don’t have a romantic interest in these girls and nor do they have a romantic interest in me.
And I am not someone who will cheat.
How do I convince her?
Is this a good sign for the future?
Aditya

Ans:

No, Aditya, it’s definitely not a good sign for the future. An overly possessive partner is a problem.

If she was okay with it earlier, she should be okay with it now.

You’re allowed to have friends of the opposite sex! And you shouldn’t have to convince her that you aren’t going to cheat on her; that means there is an inherent mistrust about you in her head already.

You can sit her down and speak to her about this problem.

If she’s willing to be reasonable about this, good for you. But from the sound of things, my hopes aren’t too high regarding this situation.

Just to be fair to her, however, I am going to put this out there -- I am assuming that you spend a reasonable amount of time with your girlfriend.

There are people who’d much rather be in the company of friends constantly and that is bound to upset their partners. So ensure that you’re spending enough quality time with her as well.

And if you are, and meeting your friends even a couple of times a month is still an issue, well, buddy, I’d say run for the hills.

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Your intentions might not be tainted but put yourself in your girlfriend's shoes, and don't think from your perspective. Think of hers. You might have been okay if the roles were reversed, but can't say the same for most people. Jealousy is a green-eyed monster, but for some instances, it is justified; not right, but understandable. You proposing to another girl might have been a joke for you, but it hurt your GF. The only thing you can do here is to explain the situation and apologize for making her feel this way, even though it wasn't your intention.

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Hi, My GF of last 2 years gets attracted to men and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy and he kissed her once when they were drunk. Later they had a talk and she informed me that they chose to be friends, they are still talk to each other so are other male friends of her. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat. After hours of discussion and me scolding her and she trying to justify her mental state, she promised me she will draw a circle which I am in and wont let anybody into that circle. She is in her early 30s. She has a crush another guy on insta and she plans to meet but she promised , he would just be friend. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above trait but she talked me back into relationship. Can I trust her?

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Hi, My GF of last 2 years gets attracted to men and shares her feelings with me as well. She developed feelings for a guy and he kissed her once when they were drunk. Later they had a talk and she informed me that they chose to be friends, they are still talk to each other so are other male friends of her. I always say she has the freedom to move on any given day but she can't cheat. She says, she is free spirited and she is ok even if I visit a prostitute house. After hours of discussion and me scolding her and she trying to justify her mental state, she promised me she will draw a circle which I am in and wont let anybody into that circle. She is in her early 30s. She has a crush another guy on insta and she plans to meet but she promised , he would just be friend. I tried to move on from relationship 2-3 times because of her above trait but she talked me back into relationship. Can I trust her?

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